Once I haul myself upright, it takes me a minute to catch my breath. I give in and sit at the table, taking a break until my lungs fill up again and my knee doesn't throb unbearably. The rest of the day, I retreat to my hiding place.

The loft over the school library is a safe place that nobody knows exists aside from the librarian. Luckily, she's too old to make it up here anymore. I read The Deal by Elle Kennedy until the final bell of the day rings, replace it on the shelf, and shuffle sluggishly down the emptying hallways to my locker.

To my horror, there are more maxi pads stuck to my locker and this time they are smeared with red. I stop across the hall, staring at them unsure if it's just ketchup, paint, or if someone actually fixed bloody pads on the locker. My stomach churns at the sight and abruptly I hear the Ghost Riders down the hallway, laughing and talking.

Cassie is plastered to Bailey's front, cooing at him and staring at his face like he is the most expensive set of diamonds. She doesn't even take note of the dark scowl on his face, directed at me. Each of the other Ghost Riders are staring at me, but their expressions are more playful. A shiver slithers down my spine and I can't stifle the shudder that erupts from my body.

Forget grabbing my notebook and pencil. It's not like I will do my homework even if I pretend that I care. Taking it slow, I spin and hobble in the opposite direction, moving away from the student parking lot and my new-to-me white BMW 3 Series. I can wait them out or take the long way around the side of the school to my car at the back of the lot. Unless I get lucky and the janitor removes the maxi pads overnight, I'll just have to deal with the sight of my locker tomorrow.

"Dude, where have you been?" Taryn stuffs her things into her bag as I near my car, "I've been waiting here forever."

I scan the parking lot, but all of the Ghost Riders' vehicles are still here with several others for the lacrosse team and basketball teams. Bailey's eighties blue Chevy Cheyenne sits next to Zane's brand-new yellow Jeep Wrangler Unlimited.

Zane is the MVP star player of the basketball team and hopefully too busy with them at practice right now. Bailey is the captain of the lacrosse team and with luck, he is caught up in some event for them, too. However, Connor's black Ford Bronco sits on the other side, and it doesn't take me long to notice him and Riette walking across the pavement. They aren't headed for the Bronco, but right for us.

"What are you...?" Taryn trails my gaze and scrambles around to the passenger door, "Oh, shit. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Let's get the hell out of here, Max. I don't want to get caught in the line of fire."

"Ellsworth!" Connor shouts, charging forward with purpose.

"Fuck," Taryn mutters, dropping her bag, and spins to face him head on like the brave girl she is, "what is it, Spears?"

"You can't get away from me that easily," he smirks, "you're riding with me today."

"No, I have to get home," Taryn shakes her head aggressively.

"That's not how this works," Connor seizes her bag, and looks at me, "you can give Riette a ride to Zane's place, right?"

Uh... What?

"Yo, deer in the headlights," Connor waves his free hand and snaps his fingers, "Riette needs a ride to Zane's place. You can handle that, right?"

I clear my throat and shake myself, "uh... Sure, sure."

"That's what I thought. I'll let Bailey know you were helpful," Connor chuckles, snagging Taryn's wrist, "come on, Trinket. We've got to be somewhere."

"Bye, dude!" Taryn gives a repentant expression.

Frozen, I watch Connor open the passenger door of his Bronco for Taryn. She never mentioned anything about spending time with Connor, so I have to figure this is a new thing that happened after lunch. Maybe she didn't get the chance to tell me about it during lunch. Either way she has some beans to spill and I'm dying to know.

"Earth to Sawyer," Riette shoves me playfully, "are you in there?"

"What?" I stumble back, "yeah..."

Riette catches my elbow, "don't fall down. Bailey would kick my ass if you got hurt."

What?

"Where am I taking you?"

"The big house on the hill," Riette moves over to the passenger door, "you know the place, don't you?"

I swallow back the nerves and fish out keys from my pocket and unlock the car, "yeah, I know the place."

Riette slides into the passenger seat, barely fitting long legs and the patched bag in the space. He has to adjust the seat backward and is still squashed, but must be used to fitting in small spaces. I start the engine, fidgeting nervously with the radio and air conditioning.

"Any day now," Riette chuckles, cocking an eyebrow.

Gritting my teeth, I retort, "I can just leave you here."

"I'll have to tell Bailey," Riette challenges, but makes it sound like we're just discussing the weather.

Without a word, I reverse out of the parking spot, and drive toward Zane's house on the hill. The Kingsley family is the wealthiest in town and Zane throws huge parties at the impressive property. Not that I've ever wasted my time by going to one. I'd just end up tipsy, humiliated, and probably pregnant. Tequila makes me way too loose and I learned my lesson after partying all freshman year.

"I didn't see you in geometry," Riette tries to make conversation as I pull onto the paved road that winds up the side of the hill.

"How do you know...?"

"We always get stuck in remedial math together," he grumbles.

"Ugh, I was busy."

"You're a bad fucking liar, Sawyer," Riette grins, "Bailey is going to find that hiding place."

Why the hell does Bailey care?

"Why are you all calling me Sawyer now?"

Riette turns down the corners of his mouth into a shrug, "that's what Bailey wants."

"Is he the boss or something? I thought Zane was the leader."

"We don't have a leader, but if you want to get technical, Zane does take charge when things call for it," Riette lifts his bag as I roll to a stop behind Zane's other car.

It's steel gray Dodge Challenger with black racing stripes. The thing is just as new as the Jeep Wrangler, but money doesn't mean a thing to his family.

"So, why do you listen to what Bailey wants?"

Riette chortles, kicking my door open, "it's called respect."

"What a joke," I don't mean to say it out loud and clap my hand over my mouth.

Smirking, Riette leans over the door of my BMW, "he's going to have a lot of fun with you if you keep speaking out, Sawyer. Bailey likes his girls feisty, but he'll break you."

I'm in trouble.

"No more falling down either," Riette cackles, slamming the door and saunters up the mahogany wraparound porch.

I don't take my time getting over to Taryn's place before I text her. Her parents are both still at work, but I see her fourteen-year-old twin brothers through the front window playing video games. They'll let me in the house and I'll wait in her room.

💀

It's almost dinner time when Taryn finally makes it home. I watch stealthily from the bedroom window as Connor pulls up to the driveway and lets her out. They share some words, and she actually blushes. After slamming the door shut while he's speaking, Taryn runs up to the house and he leans out the door, hollering. I can't hear his words or see how she reacts from this position. Then he shakes his head, mouth still moving, and peels down the street.

"Oh, whoa," Taryn hesitates in the bedroom doorway, dropping her lime green backpack and flushes, "hey, dude."

"What is going on with you and Connor?" I tug her over to the bed and we plop down.

"It-it's nothing. I promise," Taryn rolls her eyes and then they fly to her window, "oh look who's home!"

"Ugh," I flop backward as she races to the window and pulls the curtains closed so only a small sliver of the evening sun peeks through, "are you going to watch him undress again?"

"He's got a hot body, Max!" Taryn giggles, retrieving and hauling me to the window, "look at that boy!"

"He's hardly a boy," I grumble, peering through the side of the curtain to watch Bailey jerk off the heather blue T-shirt.

"He's a man," Taryn fans herself dramatically, "and he seems to have something for you."

"What?" I yank the curtain shut, so she can't see me drooling over his chiseled abs, "he does not! He's disgusted by me just like everyone else."

"Yet from what I hear he called you Max and now all the Ghost Riders call you Sawyer instead of Maxi Pad. That's got to mean something."

"Speaking of Connor," I place a hand on my hip, expectantly.

"There's nothing to say," she strolls over to her bag and carries it to the bed, unloading the contents, "where's your bag?"

"That's it? I don't get any details?"

"There aren't any details," she sets up for AP Calculus, "dude, where are your books?"

"I left everything at school."

"What? You're going to get behind and it's only the first day of school," she knows I hate school, but is aggravated anyway.

I shrug, slumping into the pillows, "what kind of teacher assigns homework on the first day of school?"

"All of them."

"I don't even care. I'll pass and graduate and it doesn't matter."

"You could easily give me a run for my money if you would just apply some effort, Max," Taryn chides.

"Whatever. I'm barely going to survive high school anyway."

"And then what, dude? What are you going to do when high school is over?"

"Who gives a shit what happens after?"

"You should give a shit. We only have nine months to make a plan and pick a career, pick a school, plan our futures..." She focuses too much on lists and organization.

"We'll be lucky if I make it out of that place alive..." I don't say that it's not school I'm worried about.

Taryn glances out the window and her eyes widen, "holy fuck... He's in a towel..."

Scrambling, we both gander through the curtain. Bailey moseys around his room, dripping wet from a shower, and clutching a towel around his waist. Sweet baby Jesus. The planes of his abs tense and shift as he digs for a pair of shorts in a drawer. He turns away from us, dropping the towel and we both squeal softly, staring at his plump ass. He definitely squats a lot and can probably lift two hundred and fifty pounds. Hot damn.

"God have mercy," Taryn mutters, giggling behind her hand, "I wish he would turn around. I want to know what he's packing."

"Dang, Taryn. If I didn't know any better, I would think you aren't a virgin anymore."

"Please..." Taryn scoffs, "I'm a virgin for life."

"I wonder what he's like," I muse, as he scrubs damp inky hair with the towel and scrolls through his phone with the free hand, "He looks glorious, but I bet he really lacks in skill."

"You wish!" Taryn laughs loudly and we both duck like he can hear us, "shit... Is his window open?"

"Yours isn't," I remind her and we slowly peep up, laughing breathlessly. He's not looking our way, "we should stop spying on him. If he catches us, he'll report me to Cassie. She'll have my ass tomorrow."

"She's going to have your ass anyway," Taryn screws up her face, "I hate that wench. I can't believe she would pick on a... You."

"You were going to say cripple," I don't care if she says it, but no one else is allowed.

"You aren't crippled," Taryn huffs, staring through the curtains, "shit, I bet he is tender and sweet in bed. Nothing like he is at school. He would make sure you are comfortable and wouldn't hurt your knee."

"Oh my gosh!" I find a pillow behind me and throw it at her, "I am not having sex with Bailey! He's got a girlfriend."

"She hates you. Dude! It could be revenge sex!"

"What's it to him?"

"Who cares? You'd get to say you slept with him," Taryn giggles, using the pillow to cushion her knees.

"The next time I have sex, it's going to mean something," I remind her, "I don't want to be a slut... It's not like anyone at our school is even looking at me. They all think I'm a hemorrhaging pariah."

Taryn snorts and tries to stifle the laugh, "shit. You're really funny when you want to be, you know that, Max?"

I shrug innocently, "I don't like to show off."

"Keep talking like that and Bailey will be salivating over you. I hear he likes when you fight back."

"Where do you hear this stuff?"

Taryn giggles, "I'm full of information."

Don't I know it.

"When was your first time anyway?" Taryn presses as we continue to ogle Bailey through the drawn curtains.

"Freshman year."

"Everyone knows that."

"Why do you think there's anything more to it?"

"Which party? You went to several before you went all outcast and stopped participating."

I don't want to get into this with her, "I don't remember. There was a lot of stuff going on back then."

"You always have stuff going on. You just pretend your life is simple and boring."

"I do not."

"Then prove it."

"Prove what?"

"Prove your life isn't boring or simple," Taryn smirks in a way Connor might if he was saying this to me, "I dare you to flirt with Bailey tomorrow."

"I'm already Cassie's target this year," I whine.

"She won't mess with you if you get him to fall for you."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"He'd call off the hound," Taryn wipes away the grin on her lips, "and you could focus on school. Just use him for protection, a regular lay, and then dump him when high school is over. Easy peasy."

"Jesus, Taryn. He might be a complete asshole, but I'm not going to use him."

"He'd do it to you in a heartbeat and you know it, dude," Taryn leaves the window to work on homework.

"I'm not him," I continue to eye him as he settles on the floor and digs out homework, "I'd like to think I am a good person."

"Do it for all the girls who want to get back at him for hurting them," Taryn gets excited, "steal him from Cassie, make him fall in love with you, and then break his heart."

"I do not need the drama."

"So, your life isn't boring?"

I groan and slide down the wall with my left leg straight out, "definitely not boring."

💀

Home is quiet and dark when I finally sneak through the front door around midnight. I left Taryn's house at ten, an inflexible curfew. Dad snores in his chair in the den with a game playing softly on the flat screen. I don't even bother to check on him before ascending the stairs to my room.

My childhood home isn't that big compared to Taryn's place, but it's in a nicer part of town. Things stay pretty quiet through the night and we don't have police cruisers flashing lights at odd times of the day, pissing off the neighbors.

The house is humble, but adorned with new furniture instead of worn seventies floral printed couches, fancy hardwood floors instead of stained carpet, and smells like fresh pine instead of stinky boys. A stale scent of cigars wafts from the den because Dad likes to enjoy an expensive kind with his brandy, but otherwise the house smells good.

When the floorboard creaks beneath my foot, I pause and listen. Dad grunts and shifts on the recliner, but doesn't stir. Blowing out a heavy sigh, I make it to my room and lock the door. I hate coming home at the end of the day. Things haven't been the same since Mom died freshman year.

Between my home life and school, I really don't have an escape. Taryn's idea to mess with Bailey and make him fall for me starts to sound like a fun distraction. I wouldn't even know where to start. I'm not crafty or smart, so I would need her help. She wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut. It's best I just keep my life the way it is, and try to survive senior year. Unscathed isn't a possibility with Cassie gunning for me, but alive is the goal.