This might be a little shorter than usual and there might be some typos and error. Feel free to point them out so I can correct them.

Hope you enjoy anyway

R

Chapter 21: Bravery

~

The halls were cold against my bare feet and a shudder made its way up my spine. It felt strange to be inside after hours spent roaming the wilderness. Gods, it felt strange to even be standing on two legs in my skin while still feeling the stirring of the beast within.

"Did you enjoy your first run?" Artair called out, grinning as he walked over.

I tugged the blanket closer, feeling far too exposed. Did everyone know where we'd went? "I did."

Torian wrapped an arm around my shoulders, a grin on his face. My hope of making it to our chambers before anyone saw us naked were dashed now. Though Torian had said as much, it was odd that he stood so confidently and without care when every inch of him was in show. Artair, respectfully and thankfully, never once glanced anywhere but at my face.

I couldn't see myself ever feeling like I could walk through the manner as naked as the day I came into the world.

"She did very well. She's a beautiful wolf," Torian complimented. "Fast too. Perhaps even faster than you."

Artair scoffed but took no offence, his hazel eyes still alight and shimmering. "We will have to put that to the test. I've held title of the fastest runner amongst the pack since I matured."

Blushing, I ducked my head. My thoughts were scattered the moment Torian had said beautiful. How could he find an animal beautiful? But yet, I had been attracted to Torian even as his own wolf. The idea struck me as odd.

Realising I'd not replied to Artair's challenging words, I forced an unsure smile. "I doubt I am as fast as Torian claims."

With a gentle nudge, Torian began to lead me to the stairs. "We will see you at dinner, brother."

Artair nodded with a wide grin before heading outside, a skip like always in his step. I'd never seen a man grin so much in my life.

As we stepped into our rooms and the door clunked shut behind us, I was once more suddenly aware of how vulnerable I currently was. A mix of emotions were still reeling through me, the last of my disbelief giving way to everything else. I had to close my eyes and force myself to focus simply on slowing my breathing.

Torian was already looking through the trunk that held some of his clothes and I moved over to my own, still clasping the blanket around me. I'd need to drop it to get changed but I was very aware that Torian was behind me. Peeking over my shoulder, my breathing hitched.

Unabashedly naked, Torian pulled out a clean shirt and I couldn't help but watch as his muscles bunched with every movement. His gaze caught mine and his lips curled into a smirk before he pulled the tunic on. I recognised the glint of challenge so in a moment of bravery, I let the blanket drop from around me. Torian straightened up, the smirk disappearing as his eyes took me in.

Even as I turned away to find a clean shift, he watched. Covering myself up again, I heard a low groan escape him. I hid my grin from him and pulled on a simple dress. Tugging at the laces, Torian didn't offer his help like I thought he would. When I lifted my head, he was standing stiffly, hazel eyes glowing a swirling mix of honey gold and oak green.

I made my way to him, my fingers brushing the hem of his shirt until I reached the laces. I pulled them gently, tying them in place and his hands fell to grip my waist. Once finished, I couldn't resist letting my hands explore the rest of him. My fingers grazed over the ridges of muscle and his hands tightened, sliding down ever so slightly. Not yet indecent.

"So, you're my mate now," I murmured, my gaze following the path of my hands.

"I am."

We both knew what I was getting at but I couldn't speak the words out loud. I felt shy as I looked up at him through my lashes, my cheeks heating.

"It hasn't been announced publically to the pack. But you have my mark, we're a mated pair now. Almost." His lips quirked up into that smirk that did something to my insides. "That's what you're asking isn't it, Màili? If we can use our bed for more than just sleeping?"

He wouldn't let me escape the question. His hands refused to let me retreat. All I could do was nod my head and I breathed out in relief when there was a knock on the door. Torian released me, shouting for them to come in.

"There's a letter for you, my lady," Ealasaid said with a curtsey before handing it over to me.

I recognised the seal and knew it was from Margaret. A sense of foreboding came over me for some unknown reason as I turned over the parchment in my hand.

"Thank you," I murmured absentmindedly, unaware of when she turned to leave.

Torian guided me down the stairs and into the hall and without his help, I might have stood forever staring at the glaring red ribbon. I did my best to greet everyone as I sat where Torian placed me. Conversation started up but I couldn't even hear them.

Numb fingers broke the seal of the letter as food was placed on the table. While it was the Argyll seal, it wasn't Margaret's handwriting, despite her signature at the bottom. Someone else had written this on her behalf. Only the greeting sentence she always used assured me she'd at least dictated. But I'd never known her to do that before.

"Who is it from?" Aileen chirped from where she sat across from me.

"The Duchess of Argyll, Margaret. She's my friend," I murmured in reply. Perhaps I should have waited to read it letter out of respect for those at the table but I couldn't help myself.

My eyes barely took in most of the words. Only one line stood out to me and my heart clenched, my hands trembling a little. "She lost the babe she carried."

The room went quiet. Blurry eyes took in the rest of her letter with a heavy heart. Torian's hand rested over mine when I put the letter down. I took a moment to compose myself.

"She's very weak. Whatever illness stole the babe away is still clinging to Margaret," I relayed, trying to keep my voice even.

"Can anything be done for her?" Lady Lyall asked gently.

Carefully, I folded the letter back up, causing Torian's touch to fall away, and tucked it into the pocket hidden beneath my skirts.

"A doctor is with her." I didn't need to say that I had very little faith in the doctors at court. Looking up at Lord Lyall, my voice became pleading. "I have to go to her. I might be able to help."

Lord Lyall shared a look with Torian and I didn't miss the subtle shake of his head. I already knew the answer I'd get and I braced myself for it.

"I'm sorry, Màili. I can't let you leave the territory."

"Are you saying that as my Alpha?" I asked, daring to meet his eyes at the head of the table.

His head tilted up and I ignored the strong hand on my thigh that squeezed in warning. Torian was begging without words for me not to push this.

"I am your Alpha, Màili. I'm aware that will take some getting used to. My job is to protect you and the pack. I'm not doing this to hurt you. You had your first shift today and you've lived your life as a human. Instincts you're not used to will make themselves known and I don't know how you'll handle that, how much control you'll have. I can't risk you hurting someone or someone catching sight of what you truly are," he explained. While his words weren't harsh, there was underlying weight to them. A clear order for me not argue further.

I couldn't hold his gaze any longer and I found myself submitting without even realising. My head fell to the side, giving my Alpha my throat.

"We're truly sorry to hear of your friend's loss. I promise you will get to see her soon, once you've learned all you need to learn," Lady Lyall added softly.

But what if by then it was too late? What if my friend never recovered from losing her child and the illness that still kept her in bed? Torian filled my plate with food while I fought with myself, feeling once more the captive. How could I do nothing when I could save her life?

"Eat, Màili," Torian murmured, pressing cutlery into my hands.

Instead of doing as he said, I looked up at him, feeling the tremble of my lip. My voice came out barely above a whisper as I asked the question plaguing me. "What if she dies?"

The talk around the room quietened and Torian looked at his father over my head. Hoping that might away their decision, I slumped when I saw Lord Lyall's firm expression.

"What if we sent a healer along with a letter from Màili explaining that she could not be there herself. The healer will be of more help than any physician found at court."

I stared at Torian's uncle in shock. After the way his son had treated me, I was sure he would think of me as lowly. But Finlay offered me a comforting smile before all eyes turned to the Alpha pair. Lord Lyall nodded slowly, catching his mate's gaze.

Lady Lyall smiled. "If they accept the healer, I think that is a good idea. They may not though, Màili." She turned to me. "You know how the Catholic lords feel about healers. But Leigh has served those at court before. His face is known and he's respected."

Leigh must have been the man that had come to treat me last night. The one Torian had postured to, ready to fight. Relief washed over me as I nodded gratefully.

"If it's no trouble, I would be most grateful. I will write my letter tonight," I said, sitting up straighter in my chair.

The tension that had followed my first lesson from my Alpha melted away. I understood now that they weren't trying to make things difficult here, nor make me feel trapped. They were willing to help me.

Torian relaxed by my side as I started eating, enjoying the meat heavy meal. It sated the beast, the starving wolf who'd been deprived of freedom for decades. Nobody said anything as I took more servings. I found myself pausing if Torian's aunt, uncle, or parents, were reaching for food too, allowing them to go first. I frowned, unsure why I was doing such a thing. It came naturally.

My tongue flicked over my teeth when Torian's aunt took the piece of chicken I'd been eyeing up. Artair was chuckling and my eyes narrowed over at him. Next to him, Owen was fighting a grin too. A low, irritated, growl rumbled from my chest. I knew they were laughing at me.

"Ignore them, sister," Aileen sniffed, giving them a disapproving look. "They're behaving like pups."

Owen sobered up, reaching out for the jug of water. He glanced briefly at my husband before me. "Forgive us. We've never seen a fully grown wolf struggle to learn the hierarchy at the table. We're all taught from the time we're pups."

I frowned, still not entirely sure I understood. Torian touched my arm to gain my attention, my cheeks flamed from embarrassment. I felt like a child again.

"We eat in turn, down the line of hierarchy. Your wolf senses who is above you. Your skin is taking longer to understand what your fur instinctively knows. My uncle Finlay is Beta, third ranked in the pack. My aunt Beth is Beta Female; fourth ranked. Then it's me. Until I've challenged my uncle and won, I will be below him in rank despite being heir," Torian told me, speaking slowly, making sure I understood.

"And what about me?" I asked. "Where am I in rank?"

His face took on a more serious expression and he looked towards his cousin and siblings. "You eat after me."

He was waiting for someone to argue, I realised as he stared down his siblings. Artair shrugged happily, munching on a carrot. Aileen smiled at me and bowed her head.

"I'm sure I could win in a challenge," she teased. "But I respect your position as my brother's mate, Màili. I can teach you to fight and in time, maybe you will be able to beat me."

I couldn't help but grin at her. Her words showed that the pack allowed women to train and fight. Nobody would stop me from my dreams of mastering the sword.

Owen however, sat back heavily in his chair. His jaw was tense, and his knuckles were white from how hard he gripped his drink. The older wolves watched on too but for some reason, I didn't think they would interfere.

If I ate after Torian, it would shove Owen one step down the hierarchy and he seemed to have great difficulty swallowing that. I wondered if I was a full blooded Wulver who'd grown up amongst a pack, if he would have the same problem. Or would he respect a female that was of his own kind? The thought made me bristle, that new presence making itself known under my skin.

As if Owen could sense the rising wolf in me, his dark gaze met mine. A small lift of his lip gave me a glimpse of his fangs. I swallowed, unsure. Torian shifted in his chair, muscles tense. Owen's eyes moved to him next. They seemed to have an unspoken conversation and I doubted everyone was as frozen as I was, unable to breathe until the outcome was clear.

"I respect you, cousin. You will be my Alpha and I will more than happily stand as your Beta," Owen began.

Another moment of confusion for me. Wouldn't Artair stand as Torian's Beta as the second born of the Alpha? My head tipped in curiosity. Artair didn't look weak by any measure. He was slimmer built than his brother and cousin but that by no means meant he was less of a fighter.

Owen sat forward, his voice filled with distaste. “She, however, has yet to earn my respect."

I flinched. After I'd healed his wounds, I'd thought we'd built some sort of relationship in which he didn't despise me. I'd been wrong. With all the learnt skills of a lady taught under my mother, I managed to muster a small smile. Battles were one quickly, but wars needed patience.

"Then I will endeavour to gain your respect," I said, not once letting my eyes drift from his.

Owen grunted and went back to eating, bringing an end to the discussion. A wolf all his life, I wouldn't be able to challenge him and win, I knew that much. Thinking over Aileen's offer to learn the ways of the warrior, perhaps I had to gain his respect in ways he understood. Not in the way a lady of court would gain the respect of the noble lords. The pack was a chess board I didn't recognise and required different strategy. But I was a quick learner.

If I had to wait to eat at the table for a while, it wouldn't be such a hardship. At least I was eating amongst family, something that hadn't occurred for me since my mother had died. I liked watching Torian interact with his family. With Aileen he was light hearted and teased back with quit witted comments. Owen remained tense, replying only to things directed to him.

I hoped to soon earn his friendship. In fact, I was determined to.