Two updates in one day? You lucky people

Beware of the wolves...

Chapter Three: Secrets

~

I gasped, my hands tightening around the back of the chair in front of me while Claude tightened the corset with surprising strength. Margaret laughed from her perch on the window seat as I grumbled and groaned. A book rested on her lap and her hands were folded elegantly on top. She was the epitome of what a high born woman should be. Beautiful, poised, well spoken, graceful, everything I wasn't.

I gave her glare over my shoulder.

"I must say, I was far more happier the day I first tried on my wedding dress." She noted, placing the book on the table beside her, "Could you at least try to see how joyous this should be."

"I believe you were happier because you were in love with the man you married. Which I can only assume had absolutely nothing to do with the wealth he inherited, nor the estate he was granted for his duties and all the jewellery and dresses he then gifted you with." I teased, finally allowing a small smile.

Margaret sighed wistfully, staring out the window, "I will admit that his wealth did help gain my affections, but I truly have grown to love him. He is a good and fair man, and I do believe he loves me too. I will not try and tell you that it is easy, but with work and patience, you could find some sort of comfort in your companionship with Lord Lyall."

I said nothing in reply, staying silent as I mulled over her words. I didn't think it would be as simple as she made it sound. Her husband was kind, a smile never far from his face, he was easy to get along with. Torian was the exact opposite and I had only been in his presence for a few short moments.

Claude finally tied the laces together, allowing me to move.

I turned, staring at the soft yellow dress embroidered with golden and white thread that lay on the bed. It was far too fancy for my father's pockets to afford and I frowned, wondering how he had managed to get a hold of it.

"Do you know where my father got the dress, Claude?" I asked, running the silky fabric through my fingers.

It truly was beautiful. I had never owned anything like it before, perhaps my father did still hold some care for me after all.

Claude frowned, "Your father? No, Lord Torian had it delivered for you, my lady."

Now that was a surprise and only added to the myriad of small details that made no sense to me. A high ranked family like the Lyall's must have demanded a pricey dowry, one my father would definitely not be able to afford.

"What is the matter, Máili?" Margaret asked, standing by my side with a hand on my shoulder.

"My father barely has enough money to keep our estate going with his frivolous spending. I am beginning to wonder how he is paying for my dowry." I said, confusion filling me, "They must have asked for a substantial amount, especially as I don't come from a very prominent family. This arrangement makes little sense to me, I do not understand what they are gaining from this. Why would they want to associate with me when their name will be tainted by the rumours that follow me around."

Claude stayed silent during this, making herself busy picking hair pins off the floor and rearranging the pillows on the bed but I had no doubt that she was listening with the ears of a hound.

"I hated to say anything, but that is why your marriage is the talk of the court," Margaret whispered, tugging me to the window seat she had occupied, "I know you hate to hear of it but it is no great secret that your mother was believed to be a witch and that your father is soon to be desolate from lack of money. I heard from a group of men talking with my husband, they said it was the Lyall's that propositioned your father for your hand."

I froze.

The more information I got, the less I seemed to know.

"You are sure?" I pressed.

She nodded, eyeing Claude before looking back at me, "I would not lie to you. I can ask around some more, but I am sure what they spoke of was true. It's not that I do not love you as a sister, and I think you are a wonderful woman, but I too do not understand why the Lyall's would have you as the wife to their heir."

It stung a little but as I agreed with her, I couldn't speak out against her comment.

"No, I believe you, there's no need to deal out more, but I still struggle to make sense of it all. Why would they be so eager to have me when Torian could have had his pick of the richest women at court?"

"I can not explain it. Perhaps you will find out, you can always ask him once you are married." She suggested, "I do suggest you perhaps forget about your love of herbs, you walk a dangerous path not bothering to hide the knowledge of healing you hold."

I nodded, unsure. Claude reappeared by my side, picking up the dress and I moved so she could help me put it on. She deftly tied up all the laces, fixing the front so it sat right. The cut of the bodice was a little lower than I was used to but more suited to the fashion of the year. I couldn't deny that it was exquisite as I stood in front of the mirror that reflected the image of my mother back at me until I blinked and subtle differences turned the image back into me.

"You look beautiful, of course." Margaret praised, looking like a proud older sister as she stood next to me, "We should pin some of your hair away from your face on the day, to let the world see you."

I nodded, playing with a curled tress of black hair and suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest constricted painfully, panic swelling until I knew I had to get out of the dress. Claude helped me out of it then picked up the dress from earlier but I quickly shook my head.

"I want to go riding." I told her and she nodded, putting the dress down, "Will you go and ask for my horse to be readied as soon as possible, I will dress myself."

Claude looked like she wanted to argue, her eyes darting to Margaret like she would protest on her behalf before she mumbled and ran from the room to do as I asked. I wondered if she had been asked to watch me, Claude was always hesitant to leave my side.

"Are you alright?" Margaret asked, watching me pull out leather breeches instead of a dress.

"Simply feeling a little overwhelmed. Things are changing rather fast, a ride will clear my mind and I will be back before anyone notices that I am missing." I replied, tugging on my riding boots and cloak to hide the outfit that would surely cause outrage at court.

A woman in breeches indeed.

"I will walk you to the stables." Margaret said with a smile, opening the door before linking her arm through mine to lead me towards the stable.

Breò-chlach was stomping restless hooves while the small stable boy attempted to calm him down. I turned to quickly kiss Margaret's cheek, whispering by her ear, "Please do not tell anyone I have gone unless you truly have to."

She smiled and nodded, "Of course."

With that, I was jumping into the saddle and racing out the castle gates before the stable boy could so much as offer me the reins. The clatter of hooves was the only warning people got of my fast approach and they were quick to jump out of my way, yelling obscenities.

I headed for outskirts of the city, towards the rolling hills and trees that covered the land. Not slowing down until I was deep in the countryside, I was finally able to breathe. Tugging on the reins, Breò-chlach snorted as he slowed down. I patted his neck, murmuring encouragingly, guiding him into the forest at a much more relaxed pace.

"That was a good run, boy." I complimented and he gave me a noise of agreement.

Birds song filled the air, along with the occasional sounds of foxes and rabbits that scampered around the forest floor. The fresh air of nature was an antidote to my worry, every exhale like a release of pressure that had built in my chest. Breò-chlach happily chose the path to take, winding his way through trees while I took in the beauty of the forest.

I took another deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. Times like these made me wish I had the advice of my mother, she would know what to say, how to guide me, but I had only my instincts to guide me now.

Breò-chlach faltered suddenly jerking me in the saddle. He stomped and fidgeted on the spot, his nostrils flaring wildly as his ears pinned back against his head. My heart hammered, my eyes scanning the surroundings. I knew my horse well, he was not easily spooked which had me worried. A flash of brown fur in the trees had me gathering the reins and tugging to try and turn Breò-chlach away. I kicked at his sides, urging him on and he was quick to follow my lead. We galloped back the way we had come and I swore I could hear panting behind me but I dared not look back for fear of what I would see.

I was relieved to see the edge of the forest ahead, sure that the whatever creature followed us would not leave the cover of the trees.

Before I could breathe a sigh of relief as Breò-chlach calmed down, he was rearing up, whinnying loudly. It took all the strength I had not to slide off the saddle. He steadied again and I looked up to see Torian watching me with a guarded expression from his place high in the saddle on a stallion bigger than even mine. I was panting, my heart hammering in my chest as I gathered the reins again and shifted more comfortably in the saddle.

"What are you doing out here?" He snapped, his eyes narrowed as if I had been caught doing something that I shouldn't.

He was wary, I could tell, but I couldn't think of why and I felt indignant at the accusation in his tone. I wasn't married, I wasn't his wife yet, I could go where I pleased and he had no right to glare at me so.

"I am out riding, I take pleasure in it." I replied honestly, lifting my chin.

He seemed to debate whether he believed my answer or not before he nodded.

"It is not safe out here for a young lady alone with no protection. You are lucky I found you and not a highwayman or group of bandits." He warned, nodding his head back towards the city, "You should be within the city walls where someone can watch you."

It was then I came to the conclusion it was Torian who had ordered Claude to not let me out of her sight and I wondered if she also reported back what I spoke of in confidence to my friend.

"I assure you, my lord, I can take care of myself perfectly well. I have been riding out alone since I was a child." I defended, allowing Breò-chlach to walk beside Torian's horse as we made our way back, "There is nothing dangerous in these woods, they are very familiar to me."

He looked over his shoulder, back towards the forest, and then back at me, "You looked quite spooked when I found you, did something scare you? What did you see...Are you well?"

I wondered at the reason for his question. He seemed far more concerned with the idea that I had seen something rather than the fact that I had been startled. Him asking if I was well seemed more of an afterthought than a genuine query.

"A wild boar maybe, or a wolf, perhaps even more terrifying a thought, it could have been a grey squirrel." I joked, grinning.

Looking up and expecting to see amusement in his eyes, the smile quickly left my face at the sight of his frown. He really wasn't the easiest person to converse with and I wondered how we would possibly get along in our future.

"I tease of course."

His smile was tense and he said nothing more, getting lost in whatever thoughts were plaguing him. On arrival at the courtyard, he dismounted and helped me down, wrapping my cloak tight around me.

"I am sure you are capable of fighting off some squirrels. Forgive my earlier rudeness, there is a lot on my mind. Do not let anyone see what you are wearing, you will cause quite a stir." He said, taking a step back, "My father and I will be away tomorrow, the day after, I will see you for our wedding. I hope the dress was to your liking."

Before I could answer, to give him my thanks for the beautiful dress, he was walking away. I sighed in frustration, so many questions left unanswered did not settle well with me and I had missed my chance to ask before I was to be wed to him.

The sun was setting low in the sky and I knew I had to get back to my rooms before my father thought to punish me. I took a small moment to admire the full moon that shone down before making my way into the warmth of the inner castle.

The queen and her ladies were walking down the hall, all dressed in the finest gowns and jewelry. The four Marys, as they were known, each childhood friends that had accompanied their Queen to France. I pressed myself against the wall, hiding my clothes as best I could while I bowed low as they past.

At first I thought they had barely noticed me until the shrill voice of my Queen tore through the air.

"My, Lady Máili, whatever are you wearing!"

I froze, my eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. Slowly rising, I looked at up at the young Queen who's eyes were wide as she stared at my breeches that peaked through the folds of my cloak.

"I wear them for riding, your majesty." I answered, unable to keep the tremble from my voice, "They are more comfortable than long skirts."

Her laugh was musical as she studied me, "Quite right too. However, I imagine you should be seeing to wedding preparations instead of riding, do you need one of my ladies to attend to you? I'm looking forward to such a happy celebration and I would be happy to offer you anything you may need. I'd hate to think you were overwhelmed."

I was completely dumbfounded. Surely she'd heard the rumours about my mother, had heard the disdain in the way the people of her court spoke of myself and my father, so I couldn't understand why she would offer her services to me. My mouth fell open but no sound came out and my Queen looked all the more amused.

"Lady Beaton." She summoned, and a woman with fair hair and dark eyes stepped fourth, "Tomorrow you will help lady Máili with anything she so needs. I will have my servants decorate the hall and will make sure the best of food is cooked."

"Your Majesty, though your help has me most humbled, I cannot accept." I protested.

"Nonsense!" She cried, dismissing me, "Consider it a wedding gift. I expect you are tired from a day of riding, you should go and rest in preparation for the busy days ahead."

"Then I give you my thanks. Good evening, Your Majesty." I said gratefully curtseying again, committing Lady Beaton to memory so I could find her tomorrow.

The group of women moved eerily as one to wherever it was they were headed. It must be nice to have so many childhood friends forever by your side, a small part of me wished I had that.

Repositioning my cloak to avoid further confrontation about the way I was dressed, I took the stairs quickly, keeping against the wall. When I finally made into the chambers, my father was nowhere to be seen. No candles were lit, the fire was nought but soldering wood. He wasn't here and I knew what that meant, he would be out drinking and doing things that I'd rather not think about.

Claude was also missing and no other servant was nearby to help me with the fires. It didn't matter too much to me, it was June and even at night, the air still held a warmth to it. I could sleep without a fire and there was enough light filtering from the torches outside and the moon in the sky for me to see while I got ready for bed.

There was a variety of fruit left on the table and I decided to take it with me into my bedroom. It's probably be one of the last things I managed to eat before the nerves made it impossible to keep food down.

Stripping and pulling on a light nightgown, I curled up on the bed and ate some fruit, pondering over all the possibilities and reason that Torian and his father would be doing business so close to our wedding.