《JAHS/ELEY》Chapter 24: Bitch Are You Dumb D-D-Dumb Dumb D-D-Dumb Dumb?
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So we now have 2 people in our friend group that don't like each other. Jahseh and Val. They were fine when she got here but now after the whole situation at dinner, they're always are making passive aggressive remarks towards each other when we're all together. I don't know how to make them like each other, or make it so no one says something they regret.
I don't think Jahseh regrets anything he's said to Valerie though. The dude is bold as fuck.
It's been a few days and everyone knows what happened so they're aware of the beef between Jahseh and Valerie.
"Y'all niggas wild as fuck." Kim says over the phone. Even though we won't see him for another 6, 7 months or so, we still want to be able to talk to him and we had the opportunity to talk to him over the phone today.
"Jahseh really DID THAT SHIT?" I hear him laugh over the phone. "I didn't know he had man stealing capabilities. Mr. Steal Yo Girl who? We stealin' dicks over there down Jahseh Avenue." He says.
"Kim you're weird." I say to him. I look at the living room from the kitchen where the whole gang is at, I invited Royce, Jordan, Dexter and Dimitri, but Dimitri's big forehead ass said "he's too old for it." Nobody is too old for the happiest place on earth. And yes, Jahseh, Michael and Valerie being in the same room, it's even more mess.
"Ight man, I'm gon see you soon man." Kim says.
"Hey Kim?"
"What's up?"
"I missed you man." I say. It sounds weird saying that but I did for real miss him. Seems like I haven't seen him in forever.
She sucks his teeth, "Stokeley if you don't get yo gay ass outta here." He says before hanging up.
"Asshole." I said rolling my eyes walking into the living room.
I might be acting like a 45 year old dad who just wants all his kids to have "fun" and have some bonding time, but Miles thinks it will be good to have everyone get to know each other better and I agree for the most part. I don't fully think it will go great, but it's worth a shot.
"Y'all ready?" I ask.
"Why the fuck we even going on a road trip anyway? How old are we?" Jared says.
"Because! Bondage!" I say cheerfully.
"Nigga how many times we gotta tell you that ain't the right word." Symere says.
"I think a road trip is a good way to get to know each other better." Gazzy says. "You guys have been all tense and shit, we need to do something." He continues.
"Listen to Gazzy, y'all. He's right." Omar says patting Gazzy on the back.
"But where are we going?" Michael asks.
"You will see." I say.
No one says anything.
I knew that Miles idea of going to Disney World was going to throw everyone off, so I'm just not going to say it.
"Look, we need to spend time together. So, we're gonna go somewhere fun and you guys are gonna like it." Miles says patting Jared and Symere's legs gesturing them to get up.
"Come on now, we have a long time ahead of us."
"Wait nigga, I ain't good at math but there's 12 of us. What car is gonna fit 12 people?" Jahseh asks.
"Miles says he has a ride for us." I say looking over at Miles.
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"Yeah, it's outside."
We all travel outside and go into the parking lot, I don't even know what the car looks like so I was looking for it along with everyone else.
"So...where the whip at?" Jordan asks.
"Over there." Miles says, pointing at some rusty ass, white van, that isn't really white anymore. The whole car screams child predator, and needs to be thrown away.
"I know you ain't talking about 'I kidnap kids' car over there." Symere says,
"That car been to hell and back. Twice." Omar adds.
"Did you fetch it from a big boiling pot of shit or something? Why the fuck is the car so.." Royce says but not finishing the sentence, physically cringing.
"It's that, or we can have some of y'all niggas sit on each other's laps, and chill in the trunk if you wanna take a smaller, nicer car." Miles says walking over to the car, opening it.
Everyone followed, looking scared to even step foot closer to the vehicle.
"Nigga, the car ain't finna kill y'all. Get y'all asses in." Miles says pointing inside the car.
They all groan and line up to get in,
"This car probably finna smell like rotten turkey wings and krabby patty grease." Symere says entering the car first.
Everyone gets in finally, but Jared, Royce and Symere, and Dexter sit in the very back, Michael and Jahseh are sharing a seat, Jahseh sitting on Michael's lap in the middle, giving Omar and Gazzy enough room to sit near the window on their left, Miles is driving, I'm shotgun, Valerie sitting on the left of Michael and Jahseh, poor Jordan having to sit on the ground of the van.
"Alright is everyone comfortable?" Miles turns back to everyone.
"Yes." Everyone saying in unison,
"No." Jordan adds,
"Good. Let's go." Miles says starting up the van and pulling out of the lot.
To be honest, I'm only doing this because I want to spend time with everyone, everyone being everyone but Valerie. Michael elaborated on what he meant when he said that how long Valerie and Stokeley been together was a lie, saying that it couldn't have been a year because he was dating her at that time and didn't even break up with her too long ago.
Don't know why Stokeley is dating this hoe..but at the same time, I'm dating Michael, but I can't help but compare him to Stokeley.
The road trip starts off like any other bullshit road trip, it's talkative at first, music playing, everyone is having a great time. But then after a while, you're either sleeping or zoned out.
"It's hot in here.." Valerie says fanning her face,
"Close your mouth, then." I replied, rolling my eyes. "Jahseh.."
Michael then squeezes my arm, "Why would you say that?" He says in my ear, chuckling.
Bitch, because.
"I'll turn the AC on.." Stokeley says, disregarding what I just said.
"Can we play music? Y'all breathe too loud." Jared says from the back.
"What song?" Miles asks,
"Play anything." Jordan says.
Miles turns on the radio and turning the volume up, 6ix9ine's new song "Stoopid" playing, everyone getting into the song.
"No turn that shit off bro." Michael says. I chuckle, "You don't like the song?"
"Fuck no." He says playfully.
It's been hours since we left Miami, and we still don't know where the fuck these niggas are taking us.
We got Michael's heavy ass head leaning on my shoulders, Valerie's hot air balloon breath blowing on neck and shit, everyone else either in their own world or having small conversations.
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"Yo, we should all play truth or dare." Royce says.
"Here we go with more pubescent teenager shit." Symere says.
"Y'all wanna year each other breathe for the rest of the time? It ain't about the destination, nigga it's about the journey from point A to B." Royce says,
"Man shut yo goofy ass up." Symere argues back, Miles shushing them, "We should play truth or dare. It will be fun."
"Okay, let me go first, I DARE one of y'all to switch me spots because I got scoliosis up in here sitting on the floor and shit." Jordan
"Yo skinny ass staying right there." Dexter says.
"Whoever passes 3 dares or truths..has to lick the rim of a public toilet seat when it's lifted."
"Ew that's disgusting, ain't nobody wanna do that." Gazzy says.
"Then don't lose. Anyway, who's going first?" Miles says.
"Let me go first.." Valerie offers up. I think I have an idea of who she's going to pick..
"Jahseh." She says finally. "Truth or dare." She asks.
"I never said I wanted to play."
"Well I already asked you so you're gonna have to." She replies.
Jahseh was about to make a comeback but caught himself and sighed. I'm glad he controlled himself because I don't feel like there being an argument right now.
"Truth." He replies.
"You better have a good one, I'm tryna see tea being spilled." Omar says.
"Tell us your coming story." She suggested.
I feel Miles swerve the car a little bit, I look at he has a scared and worried expression on his face.
"M-my coming out story..?" Jahseh says, "Coming out to my friends?"
"No, your family. Like your mom and dad, brother, sister." She says seeming annoyed.
"No..I rarely tell people of this story."
"Come on..we're all friends here." Valerie insists,
"Jahseh you don't have to tell the story." Miles says seriously.
I want to know what the story is, because one I'm nosy, and two, he's never told me personally that he was gay. He told everyone else one on one but I had to figure it out.
"Why? It's just a-" Valerie starts, but Jahseh cuts her off by waving her off.
"Okay, shut up bitch, I'll tell it..shit." Jahseh says rolling her eyes.
I felt a vibration on my phone, I turned it on to see a text from the group chat, that being from Symere:
👺😭💀
👊🏿💀💀💀
🔆
I was about to reply when I notice Miles texted. I look over at Miles who's on his phone while driving. I don't know why this nigga is so dangerous, if he crashes this car, we are all dead.
I slap his shoulder. He puts down his phone, "Ow." He whines. "Eyes on the road." I ordered him.
"Okay, Jah. Start your story." Valerie says.
"I told my mom and she kicked me out, I dropped out of school, went to live with Miles, I got in trouble a lot with police, and now I'm here." He quickly explains.
"What did your mom say?" Valerie asked
"None." Jahseh replied,
"None? What does none mea-"
"I means none of your business and on to the next round." Jahseh quickly says. It goes quiet after that, I look back and see everyone on their phones. Just then my phone starts to vibrate like crazy.
🔨
😭
👊🏿
🐲
👺
🕴🏼
🛸
🤓
"Okay. It's Jahseh, it's your turn now." Miles says.
Why did I agree to go on this trip. It's getting dark out now, I can barely see some of the niggas in the car.
And not to mention it's been like 3 hours, all we had in here are chips, sour patch kids, stale McDonald's fries and dried cereal, and all the good chips are gone, all that's left is SunChips.
Plus! We're playing this bullshit game and it's my fucking turn.
"Jared, truth or dare." I say. "It's gon have to be a dare for me." Jared says boldly.
"Oh shit.." Symere says, "I hope you got a good one Jah."
"Shit..we got anymore chips back there?" I say.
"Yes sir." Jordan says.
"Jared, I want you to..bird feed Symere."
Miles gags obnoxiously, everyone else chuckling or cringing.
"Jahseh, ew." Symere says. "I am not doing that shit."
"And..if you both pass, that's a strike for both of y'all..meaning you'll only have 2 passes left." I add.
"Nigga that's not fair, it ain't even my turn."
"Life isn't fair."
"You passing it or not Jared?" Royce says.
I can see Jared thinking hard about it, "Shit..no I have to pass. I can't do it."
"You a whole pussy ass bitch." Stokeley says chuckling. "Shut up, Stokeley."
"It's your turn now, Jared." Jordan says.
"Hm..Omar. Truth or dare." He asks.
"Dare."
"I dare you..to kiss Gazzy."
"Oh shit, let me get out this car, it's getting gay as hell." Jordan says trying to get up but Dexter holding him down, "Bro the competition is to get people to pass so someone loses and has to lick a toilet bowl."
"Are you finna do it?" Jared asks.
"Do it, Do it, Do it.." Dex, Jordan, Jared and Royce start chanting.
Omar sends Gazzy a questioning look. Gazzy gives an awkward shrug then nodding.
"Ok, ok, ok, ok..I'll do it." Omar says, everyone going silent and focusing their attention on Omar and Gazzy.
"Hold on, nigga I gotta see this." Miles says pulling over and turning around.
"Okay um..how do I do this.." Omar says,
"I-Iguess you could just.. like-"
"It's just a fucking kiss, bruh. It ain't too late to back out." Jared says.
"Can I kiss him on the cheek."
"No." Everyone says simultaneously.
"Has to be the lips." Jared says, recording as usual.
I'm actually surprised Omar and Gazzy agreed to do this. I feel bad for them because they're being put under so much pressure but I honestly been shipping him and Gazzy together.
Gazzy then speeds things up by giving Omar a quick kiss and pulling away,
"There. It's over now, next person." He says.
I swear the car was going to tip over, Jared, Royce, Dexter and Jordan were hollering so obnoxiously and jumping up in their seats.
"They should just be together." Michael mutters, assuming he's only wants me to hear his comment. "For real." I reply, "You've been quiet, what's wrong?"
He sighs before shaking his head, "Ain't nothing wrong." He says. I know he's lying but I don't want to push it, I'll just ignore it for now.
"Alright, Omar. It's your turn." Jared says.
This dumbass game goes on for god knows how long until it finally rotated back to this bitch Valerie.
"It's back to me?"
"Yup. You can end off the game." Miles says.
"Well I'm just gonna go back to Jahseh." I roll my eyes, not even wanting to play the game anymore. I passed two dares but did all the the rest and answered all truths they've asked, what do I have to do now?
"Truth or dare, Jahseh. I swear I have a good one."
"Truth.. I guess."
"You better be able to answer this one, one more pass and you gotta lick shit." Symere says chuckling.
"This better be good." Jared says
"What is your honest opinion of me?" She asks.
"Mmm..I'd rather not answer that."
"Answer, please. Don't think you're gonna hurt my feelings, because you won't. Be honest too."
In order for me to not hurt your feelings, I'm gonna have to lie to you. That would be breaking the rules of answering honestly.
This woman is just trying start something, I don't understand. I just want to get where we're going and have the supposed "fun" Miles and Stokeley have planned.
I sigh and start thinking about what I should say. I'm tying to work on thinking before I speak, I have a serious obsession with being too bold. But I don't think I'll ever get over it, especially when people give me opportunities like now.
"Well, since you're asking me to be honest..." I start, putting my fingering on my chin, examining her.
"Your..your whole vibe makes my ass itch, not even in a good way, like the way you go about yourself really makes me feel weird and that whole shit you rockin wit, I am currently not fucking with." I say, I see her eyes widen as I finish that sentence. She goes to say something, but I put my hand up because I'm not fucking finished.
"The only reason I still hang out around you is because you're friends with my friends, and you're dating one of my friends, that makes us mutually connected. But truth is I don't feel that the feeling is mutual and will ever be at any point in time...I don't doubt you are not that bad, but I would appreciate it you'd stay a good 500 feet away from me so I'm not rubbing on the bullshit you radiate." I say, twisting my dreads, "I think he has low standards, but fuck it, it's your life..who am I to judge." I said referring to Stokeley.
I probably said too much, but oh well. I learned to speak my mind, and was given an opportunity to do so. What you think I'm gonna do? Pass on it? Youre funny if you think Jahseh Onfroy would ever give up on being petty.
I think a normal boyfriend would put his homie in check for saying all that but..I agree with everything that Jahseh just said.
👊🏿
🛸
👺
🕴🏼💀💀
I'm having 2nd thoughts about this whole trip. I don't know what tomorrow will possibly have in store for us that's any better than this whole car ride to Disney World. Hopefully the "Happiest Place On Earth" can help fix the tension that's overflowing, and we could ACTUALLY create some good memories there together.
Something tells me that there's almost no chance of that happening.
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