《》American Idol
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The American Idol auditions come to town and there are a few hopefuls trying out that I think you should keep your eyes on this particular season...
-Tries out, nails it, all three judges give him the Golden Ticket to Hollywood
-Comes back home and brags to everyone about how he made it to the next round
-What does this mean? they all ask him
-"Oh, just means that if I win I become famous and I'm on TV and I get a recording contract to make an album, and all that. Nothing special or anything," he boasts
-That's it. Everyone decides they will show up at auditions the next day
-"You can do it, bro"
-"I can't go out there. This is live TV. Oh my God. I'm going to pee my pants, dude"
-"You've been practicing your song all week! Get out there"
-"I can't do this, Gon, I'm serious, I feel like I'm going to faint"
-"Want me to get your brother? Maybe he can jam a needle in your head, or something to take the edge off"
-Gon ends up dragging Killua bodily out there in front of the judges
-He also ends up singing the song because Killua is frozen stifff
-Luke Bryan says, "Son, didn't we just see you yesterday?"
-Calls up Melody. "I need a favor"
-Melody comes over and rehearses with him, and agrees to accompany him when he tries out on the live broadcast
-They do Lady Gaga/Bradley Cooper's "Shallow" and are really quite good
-Melody's odd appearance, plus both of their tragic backstories, charm all three judges
-They move on to Hollywood and become total fan favorites throughout the entire season
-He knows he can't sing, but he is competitive and he isn't going to let the others try out without him
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-Tries to do a hard rock song with a lot of screaming, figuring that will mask his inability to carry a tune
-The judges all give him a resounding no, but kindly tell him maybe he should go audition for The Voice
-When it's time for his audition, he strides out and immediately says something so lewd about Katy Perry's rack on live TV that the network frantically bleeps him and he is kicked out and banned for good
-He knows he's not that great of a singer, but he also knows he's got nerves of steel, so figures he'll do fine
-To give himself an advantage, he decides to impress Lionel Richie by selecting a hit from his catalog
-When it's his turn, he walks calmly out and gives a surprisingly decent rendition of the Commodores' "Still"
-By the time he gets to the final line, the one with the big dramatic "But most of all...I do love you...(in a sad whisper) STILL!" Katy Perry is a puddle of tears
-"Not bad," says Lionel.
-"I'm not sure he pinned that one down, actually," says Luke
-Because he's gangsta, he has a friend of a friend of a friend who owes him a favor and knows Kelly Clarkson, so he manages to finagle some private vocal lessons with the original American Idol
-Is charming as fuck during his audition, and is of course good-looking, so he makes for great TV
-Katy Perry flirts outrageously with him and announces, "This one is going to steal the entire season, I'm making my bet now!"
-The producers of the show clip that soundbite and use it incessantly in upcoming commercials
-Like Killua, he gets a massive case of stage fright and is unable to push himself out there in front of the cameras
-Says, desperately, "Why can't I try out for The Masked Singer instead?"
-I don't want to spoil it but let's just say he is a surprise dark horse who ends up going head-to-head against Chrollo in the finals
-His fans call themselves "Shal's Pals"
-He wins
-Chrollo kicks him out of the Troupe
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