Actual conversation in my household yesterday between me and my real-life boy:

"So, guess what tomorrow is?!!!"

"Wednesday?"

"Yes....and...."

"Wednesday."

"Oh come on, babe, you know what I mean."

"Baby, my birthday is THURSDAY."

"Oh. Right. Well, okay. Tomorrow is Wednesday, then."

-Gets involved in something that takes up all his brainpower (not hard to do) and somehow forgets to put your birthday into his phone calendar

-On the morning of your birthday, you expectantly text him and ask "Where are we going tonight?"

-"Nowhere. I'm training at the gym with Killua"

-Uh oh

-He forgets

-You cry hysterically

-He cries hysterically

-Asks you to forgive him for being a BAD BOYFRIEND

-He actually has a legitimate reason for forgetting, sort of. The job he's on right now is so all-encompassing and keeps him crazy busy that it's not a wonder he forgot

-You try to call him when he doesn't call you on the big day

-He doesn't pick up

-You blow his phone up with repeated calls over and over in a fury

-He finally picks up. "What? God almighty. Did someone die or something?"

-He listens for a minute. "Oh, shit!"

-Is also busy at work and ignores your calls and texts

-Toward the end of the day, he reads your messages, and realizes, oh fucking hell! He forgot your birthday

-Frantically rushes out and buys you a gift at the last minute

-Shows up at your door. "Surprise! Bet you thought I forgot! I just LOVE to tease you and get you all riled up!"

-"Oh simmer down"

-Sends you a dick pic

-"It's your birthday? Oh."

-"I can't believe you forgot my birthday!"

-(He thinks for a minute)

-(Rips off his shirt in one motion and grabs you) "Aha! This is the perfect opportunity to make everyone on Wattpad lose their ever-loving minds! To make up for being so thoughtless, I am going to make MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO YOU RIGHT NOW IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND I DON'T CARE WHO WATCHES!!!!!"

-He realizes that he hurt your feelings, but Chrollo being Chrollo, this ultimately becomes more about himself than you

-After saying he's sorry ("Sorry"), he obsessively tries to figure out how on earth he managed to forget this important date. You know him, he's a perfectionist and totally puts everything down in his calendar

-Calls an emergency Troupe meeting. "Have any of you been fucking around with my phone?" he barks at them

-He forgets birthdays all the time because he doesn't even know when his own birthday is

-When you are upset, he gives you big, sad puppy-dog eyes over his mask

-Oh my. Not fair. Okay

-Whines "I was busy"

-"Chrollo had me doing all sorts of shit this week"

-"It's his fault, not mine. Blame his crack-the-whip ass."

-(You give him the silent treatment)

-"Okay, geez, fine! I promise to take you out every single night this week and bake you a birthday cake from scratch. Satisfied?"

-(You smile)