《》When He Forgets Your Birthday
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Actual conversation in my household yesterday between me and my real-life boy:
"So, guess what tomorrow is?!!!"
"Wednesday?"
"Yes....and...."
"Wednesday."
"Oh come on, babe, you know what I mean."
"Baby, my birthday is THURSDAY."
"Oh. Right. Well, okay. Tomorrow is Wednesday, then."
-Gets involved in something that takes up all his brainpower (not hard to do) and somehow forgets to put your birthday into his phone calendar
-On the morning of your birthday, you expectantly text him and ask "Where are we going tonight?"
-"Nowhere. I'm training at the gym with Killua"
-Uh oh
-He forgets
-You cry hysterically
-He cries hysterically
-Asks you to forgive him for being a BAD BOYFRIEND
-He actually has a legitimate reason for forgetting, sort of. The job he's on right now is so all-encompassing and keeps him crazy busy that it's not a wonder he forgot
-You try to call him when he doesn't call you on the big day
-He doesn't pick up
-You blow his phone up with repeated calls over and over in a fury
-He finally picks up. "What? God almighty. Did someone die or something?"
-He listens for a minute. "Oh, shit!"
-Is also busy at work and ignores your calls and texts
-Toward the end of the day, he reads your messages, and realizes, oh fucking hell! He forgot your birthday
-Frantically rushes out and buys you a gift at the last minute
-Shows up at your door. "Surprise! Bet you thought I forgot! I just LOVE to tease you and get you all riled up!"
-"Oh simmer down"
-Sends you a dick pic
-"It's your birthday? Oh."
-"I can't believe you forgot my birthday!"
-(He thinks for a minute)
-(Rips off his shirt in one motion and grabs you) "Aha! This is the perfect opportunity to make everyone on Wattpad lose their ever-loving minds! To make up for being so thoughtless, I am going to make MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO YOU RIGHT NOW IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND I DON'T CARE WHO WATCHES!!!!!"
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-He realizes that he hurt your feelings, but Chrollo being Chrollo, this ultimately becomes more about himself than you
-After saying he's sorry ("Sorry"), he obsessively tries to figure out how on earth he managed to forget this important date. You know him, he's a perfectionist and totally puts everything down in his calendar
-Calls an emergency Troupe meeting. "Have any of you been fucking around with my phone?" he barks at them
-He forgets birthdays all the time because he doesn't even know when his own birthday is
-When you are upset, he gives you big, sad puppy-dog eyes over his mask
-Oh my. Not fair. Okay
-Whines "I was busy"
-"Chrollo had me doing all sorts of shit this week"
-"It's his fault, not mine. Blame his crack-the-whip ass."
-(You give him the silent treatment)
-"Okay, geez, fine! I promise to take you out every single night this week and bake you a birthday cake from scratch. Satisfied?"
-(You smile)
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