《》Loading The Dishwasher
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Insomnia got me again. No sleep till Brooklyn.
So anyway, I get up to make a cup of coffee and notice that the PITA I live with (oh sorry, poopie-boy, I meant LOML!) didn't do the dishes again.
Which got me thinking. You know where I'm going here...
-After a huge dinner, Aunt Mito tells the two of them to rinse all the dishes, then load them in the dishwasher
-They start out doing this obediently at first but soon enough start fucking around and a full-on water fight ensues
-They make a huge mess all over the kitchen floor
-Aunt Mito is pissed and tells them to clean it up
-As they are wiping the floor, Killua says, "Hey do you remember in Greed Island when we had to wash dishes for hours to pay for two goddamn sodas? I think we got ripped off"
-Gon replies, "Look, asswipe, I would have been fine with a glass of water, you're the one who ordered the drinks"
-You already know what I'm going to say
-He has a meticulous, orderly, and efficient way of loading the dishwasher which ensures all the dishes are positioned for optimal cleaning and he literally does this every time even if he's tired and really just wants to go watch Netflix
-He also has preferences regarding dishwashing soap and will get annoyed if you buy the "wrong kind." ("That kind leaves streaks.")
-He also is one of those types who has an opinion on how to hang the toilet paper roll
-Out of all of them, he's the most normal in this department
-He loads the dishwasher in an orderly fashion but isn't going to lose it if, say, a knife gets into the spoon section, or anything like that
-He has zero opinion on how to hang the toilet paper roll nor is he really concerned if there are streaks on his glassware
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-He doesn't wash dishes
-He just makes them look clean using Texture Surprise
-(Ew. I know, I know--nobody wants to go eat over at his house, now)
-Has never touched a dish in his life except to eat off of one
-When you tell him to take his dirty dishes and put them in the dishwasher, he merely raises his eyebrows at you
-"You don't know how to put a dish in the dishwasher? You're not qualified to be an adult"
-"Oh? I didn't realize I needed to qualify"
-Like Kurapika, he's anal as hell and has a whole system regarding how to arrange the dishes
-He hasn't done it in ages, though. He makes someone in the Troupe do it
-But he checks to see if it's done right
-Usually get stuck loading the dishwasher
-Take perverse pleasure in fucking with Chrollo's OCD
-"Look, how about I put a fork in with the knives? I'll kind of, like, bury it in there so he doesn't see it right away"
-"Naw, that's amateur. Take a couple of the good wineglasses, you know, the ones that cost like $50 a stem, and put them on the top rack"
-"How about I leave in a few unrinsed bowls? Like one with dried oatmeal on it? That'll make him shit his pants." Feitan rubs his hands in glee
-"NOOOO I got it. Let's run over to the hotel across the street and rip off a bunch of used ashtrays and stick them in with the dinner plates!"
-"NOOOOOOOO even better. Doesn't someone have a dirty-ass bong around here? Let's throw that in on the top rack!"
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