-You get him some new fishing equipment

-His birthday is in early Spring so he's thrilled and can't wait to go try it out when the weather cooperates

-You buy him a new hoodie

-He puts it on immediately and looks soooooo cute

-Hard guy to shop for

-Doesn't want or need anything

-You finally settle on a GC to a local spa for a therapeutic massage

-He says, "I really could use this!" and tells you he'll call for an appointment next week

-You cook him dinner while dressed in a skimpy French Maid's costume

-You can practically see little red hearts flying around his head the whole time

-You decide to inject a little culture, so you purchase tickets to the Philharmonic

-He wears his hair down and his black Phantom Troupe suit and looks super hot

-His family wants to throw him a party, but you know he'd hate that

-He really can't stand being fussed over

-You appease his family by saying he'll come over for lunch on the weekend

-You order his favorite food for dinner, sing to him, and make him blow out candles

-That was more than enough for him

-You find a small oil painting in an antique store that you think he'd like

-He says it's beautiful and he'll carry it with him while he travels, to put up wherever he's staying and remind him of you

-"Fei, let's celebrate your birthday this weekend!"

-"I don't have a birthday"

-"Oh come on. Just pretend"

-"Whatever. Sure"

-You get him a birthday cake and decide to be kinky and chain yourself to the bed with handcuffs and restraints

-You get messed up trying to do this by yourself, get all tangled up, and accidentally roll on the cake

-Feitan arrives home to find you in tears trying to get free, plus smashed-up cake and frosting all over his bed

-You haven't seen him laugh this hard since he killed Zazan

-"How about we go back to me not having a birthday?" he asks

-There is a new version of his phone that just came out

-It is super expensive but it has a bunch of new cool features

-You know he's going to love it, so you save up your money and get it for him

-He is shocked and tells you that you shouldn't have, but can't hide how pleased he is

-You tell him, "You're worth it"