Ever call an Uber, like, after a long night of drinking or something like that, and you end up getting the WEIRDEST freaking driver ever? And you're not quite sure if it's just the liquor hitting you or this guy is a bona fide freak?

I have some interesting Uber drivers here for you...

-"Dude, I am so broke"

-"Go arm-wrestle someone"

-"Hell. I'm sick of arm-wrestling. I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome. Can I borrow some cash? You're rich"

-"Not anymore. I left the family, remember?"

-"I know. Let's be rideshare drivers"

-"We're only 14, baka"

-"Your family must have a shit ton of cars. Let's go bust the Testing Gates open and steal one"

-"Okay, but we need that official 'Uber' sticker in the window. How are we going to get one of those?"

-"We'll make Hisoka do his thing"

-As usual, this Uber thing is part of another one of his undercover security gigs. He's not thrilled about it, but being Kurapika, he accepts the responsibility with steely resolve

-Is probably the only Uber driver on earth who has actually read all the terms, conditions, and rules set forth upon employment

-Drives silently and does not engage in conversation

-As a cash-strapped medical student, Leorio hits on the idea that driving for Uber will be an ideal way to make some money. He can work around his school schedule!

-He's an excellent, conscientious driver, but he's also THAT one who chats your ear off for the entire ride, when all you really want to do is stare at your phone

-Hisoka was bored one day and went out and killed the first person he saw, who happened to be an Uber driver

-Just for kicks, he steals the dead man's car and--for fun--decides he'll try the Uber thing to see if he runs across anyone interesting (he's really bored this particular day)

-He attempts to pick up 10 separate riders, but every single one of them takes a look at him and refuses to get in the car

-Illumi really hates having to do shit like this, but he's disguising himself as an Uber driver as part of an assassination mission

-Silva warns him that he needs to "curb that leadfoot" and drive like a civilized human being. Illumi sighs in exasperation

-He picks up a couple of drunks, who puke in his car because he's driving like a maniac and they're too sloshy to hold it

-The vomit smell reminds Illumi of poison training; he loses his temper and destroys both drunks with his needles

-Silva is pissed and says "For Christ's sake. Fine, I'll make Milluki do it"

-Chrollo can't drive for Uber. Everyone would recognize him. He's the leader of the deadliest gang on earth, remember?

-Feitan wears a mask, so nobody will recognize him and he's good

-Chrollo has cooked up a scheme where he's fucked with the Uber app, allowing him to steal everyone's credit card data and also sneakily upcharge the living shit out of them for rides, which they don't realize until much later

-But he can't drive the car because he is the leader of the deadliest gang on earth and despite being a genius he doesn't do anything to disguise himself except occasionally wrap a scarf around his forehead. So he makes Feitan do it

-Shalnark is actually the one who did the real work behind infiltrating the Uber app. He worked really hard and long hours on this

-Chrollo takes the credit

-Shalnark accepts this as his fate