I stand scowling at the warriors of the Red River Pack from the side lines of the arena as they listen to Alpha Drake barking orders at them about how they can improve their techniques at the centre of the pitch.

I don't give a shit about any of this. I don't want to be fucking here but Drake has worked several Alpha commands on me over the last twenty-four hours leaving me no choice but to stand here against my will. I've tried to leave already several times, I even got as far as Drake's Jeep this morning before I passed out at the steering wheel. Fuck knows what my warriors think about all this, they've witnessed first-hand me fighting with Drake and disobeying direct orders. But no one says anything, everyone just gives me a wide berth in case I snap. I guess no one wants to be collateral damage if I blow my top again.

Huffing with annoyance, I close my eyes to try and find some sort of calm, some sort of balance but I feel nothing but anger, despair, and most of all regret. My wolf is at a whole new level of fury right now, I barely have any control on him. My mind can't stop thinking about what's going on back at home and it's eating me up inside.

I regret leaving Alice that morning.

I regret not telling her that I'm completely, utterly, and madly in love with her.

I regret not making her mine, marking her as my mate. Making her the Gamma female to our pack.

But I'm too fucking late.

Jay has shown his hand once more at how fucking sly he can be, by concocting this whole Red River training deal bullshit just to get me and Drake off territory for the next few weeks so he can make his claim on Alice, and I can do fuck all about it. Only now, when it comes to truly losing her do I realize how much I want and need her. I thought taking a mate would make me weak, but not having Alice at my side is destroying my very soul. All I can think about is her. I'll never take another as mate, it's her or no one.

My only hope is on my dad, that he can protect her, but I'm kidding myself that he can do much against Jay and his men in his weakened state. I wanted to mindlink him before I left to warn him, but I'm currently blocked from mindlinking anyone for the next week thanks to one of Drakes fucking commands. To say I'm salty with Drake right now is an understatement.

I'm so lost in my own thoughts I don't even notice Drake come and stand next to me. I don't even bother to look at him when he nudges me in the ribs with his elbow to get my attention.

"Cole, this just isn't like you man. You've got to let this thing with Alice go." Drake says quietly at my side as we watch the Red River warriors attempt to follow the drills Drake has just explained.

"Fuck off." I murmur with disrespect.

"I know you're pissed, but if I went against a Blood pact, I'd have the Elder council on my back. They'd have stripped you of your title and rank if you'd gotten involved. You're my best friend Cole, I could never let that happen." Drake says as he runs a hand over his face looking tired. "I never wanted to use my command on you. Can you not see how much all this is killing me? Never once did I ever want to go against you like this. I need you back buddy, at my side."

I look at Drake, my best friend of years, my leader and all I want to do is punch him in the face. I scowl at him before shaking my head and start to walk away.

"Do you love her?" Drake calls after me and I stop in my tracks and turn to look at him dead in the eye.

"Yes." I say with not a single moment hesitation.

"And if I removed my commands, would you go back home and challenge Jay? Then claim Alice as your own?" Drake questions as he walks closer to me.

"Yes." I say firmly.

Drake sighs and runs a hand into his hair and across his braid at the top. "So, I'd either lose my Beta or my Gamma over this girl."

"You already have." I grit out.

"Damn." Drake sighs once more, he looks away at the Red River Warriors for a minute deep in thought then back to me before he pulls his car keys out of his pocket for his jeep and throws them over to me.

I catch them with ease and look up to him with a raised eyebrow. "Well, you'd better fucking win the challenge lover boy. I, Alpha Drake Ramsey of the Grey Crescent release you from the Alpha Commands you are currently bound too. Go get your girl Gamma."

With a small smirk on my lips, hope fills my heart as I feel the commands lift. I give Drake a quick nod of thanks before I sprint off towards the parking bays.

It's already late afternoon, but if I floor it and break a shit ton of driving laws all the way back, I can hopefully get back to the pack by morning. As I yank the jeep car door open, I abruptly come to a halt when I swear I catch the delicious scent of cherries and Apple orchards. I spin around and look around towards the dark forest frantically... but there's nothing... she's not here. I'm losing my fucking mind; my thoughts are so focused on Alice I'm even imagining smelling her for Christ sake.

Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I jump into the jeep and fire up the engine. Drake's mobile is sat on the passenger seat, but it's useless to me as my dad doesn't have a cell and I won't be able to mindlink him till I'm back on pack territory. All I can do now is to speed off in the direction of home and hope to God that I'm not too late.

------------------------

Watching Cole from the edge of the forest drive off without me calling out to him must be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

After finally escaping the river rapids, I ran here at full speed in my wolf form cutting off hours of a what a normal journey would usually take. I shifted back a little over an hour ago when I came across a human settlement and was able to steal some clothes from a washing line. The whole way here I was so determined to get to Cole until I saw him.

Then reality crashed down on me at that very moment.

Cole doesn't want me as his mate. He made that clear when he left me that morning back in the cabin.

Sure, he cares, but where has that gotten me? My heart crushed from his hot and cold mood swings. Slumping down on a nearby log I wrap my arms around myself and finally breakdown not knowing what to do next. I've lost my dad, Cole, I've no idea if Krane is hurt or not... I've never felt so utterly alone in all my life. Even when I was ostracized in my pack, at least I still had a pack. Now what am I?

Fuck, am I a rogue?

Springing to my feet I start to pace about. Think Alice! Think like a warrior, bury your emotions and grief, and try to think clearly. What would my mum of done? What would Cole do or Krane if they'd just escaped from danger. I keep pacing until I see Alpha Drake talking to some warriors in the far distance and duck down to be sure I'm not seen.

Then it hits me.

Alpha Drake's brother's pack is a two-day journey from here. Alpha Lucas has a fierce reputation, but he's within the North West's treaty alliance, so he's friendly enough to still converse with other packs unlike other more volatile wolf packs in the area. From what I hear he needs warriors desperately...so surely, he'd not turn away a Silver if I requested sanctuary? Maybe I could convince him that I'd be an asset to his pack?

I chew on my lip thinking it over. I've not seen Alpha Lucas since I was a little girl, when he left our pack at the age of sixteen to go and form his own pack in the Mountains.

The Black Mountain pack is certainly wilder and more savage than the Grey Crescent pack, but in truth I know little about the mysterious pack of the North... but what choice do I have?

Seek refuge at the Black Mountain Pack or accept Beta Jay as my mate?

Without further hesitation I shift back into my wolf form and head towards the Mountains.

Fuck Beta Jay!

I'd rather take my chances with the wild wolves of the North.