We had gotten back from the hospital in the early morning hours while it was still dark. So it was no surprise that I had slept most of the day away. When I finally woke up, it was late afternoon and the ray of the sun were coming through the window, hitting the bed in a way that was making me sweat. Jimin wasn't around. I didn't know where he went but I couldn't worry about anything else until I took care of the most important matter of my bladder.

I eased out of bed gently, feeling ridiculous. I felt great. Maybe I just needed fluids and a good night's sleep. I took my time using the bathroom, washing my face, and brushing my hair. I thought back to hearing that beautiful heartbeat and how amazing that moment was. I didn't feel any different after getting that confirmation from the doctor. I thought I would. I still felt like me. I turned to the side, pushing my stomach out in an attempt to give myself a belly. It was surreal to think that I would be huge in nine months. It was a rather lame attempt. Being that I am a swimmer, I have always had a very slim body and flat stomach. I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Dia?!?" Jimin called out to me, sounding alarmed.

I pulled open the door to see his panicked face.

"Everything's okay," I reassured him, "I was just using the bathroom."

"You weren't in the bed when I came in. I assumed you were using the bathroom and I wanted to give you privacy." He continued to ramble on, "but you were taking a really long time. I thought something was wrong. I." Jimin pulled at his hair and shut his eyes.

I had never seen him like this.

I had never imagined Park Jimin, member of BTS, would be so shaken up. None of this felt real.

I pulled Jimin to me and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hey. I'm fine" I reassured him again. Jimin sighed and put his arms around me enveloping me in a big hug.

"I don't know if I can do this, Dia" Jimin whispered. My heart sank.

"It's okay." I choked out, "I promised you from the beginning that you didn't have to be involved. I meant it." I did mean it. But I thought things had changed. How could I be so stupid to think that he'd want any of this?

Jimin let go of me and walked over to the bed and sat down. He leaned forward, placing his arms on his knees.

"No, Dia." He said firmly, "That's not what I meant."

I stayed quiet. I didn't even know what to say or what he expected. I didn't want to pretend to be strong. He patted the bed next to him, beckoning me over.

"Come sit down. You are supposed to be on bedrest."

I didn't really want to sit down next to him while he broke my heart but he was right. I was supposed to be on bedrest. Reluctantly, I shuffled across the room and sat down on the bed, purposely creating some space between us. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Dia, I didn't know what to do last night. All I could think of was you being at the hospital by yourself. I didn't even know you were pregnant. Can you please look at me?" I had started crying and I didn't want him to see. But I felt him take my hand and tug. I forced myself to turn my head and meet his eyes.

I don't know what I expected to see. I guess a part of me was hoping that he would be cold and full of disdain. That if he was angry about all of this, it might make things easier. Instead, his eyes showed the same tenderness that I saw the first night we made love. It broke me then and it broke me now. Big, fat tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Baby, please don't cry." Jimin whispered, reaching up and wiping my cheek, "I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted to be there with you. I was so disappointed in myself and my situation when I couldn't go to the hospital. I can't be a dad that is half involved. Even more so, I won't be a dad that is only half involved."

"No, I get it." I sniffled. I was trying to compose myself but my words were coming out between sobs. "You deserve to be with someone that you can go to every appointment with and where you are able to be a part of everything. I know you'll find that one day. I am not going to hold you back."

"Wait, what?" Jimin reached over and hauled me into his lap. "Dia, what the hell do you think I'm saying? Didn't you hear me a minute ago? That's not what I meant. Dia, I want to do this thing with you."

It took me a full minute to comprehend his words. I stared at him in disbelief.

"I was just trying to say that I didn't want you to do this alone." He explained, "I want to find a doctor that can make house calls. I want to be involved in all of it. I love you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jimin wanted to have this baby with me? I had to be dreaming.

"I love you too but what about all of your fans? What about the guys? What about touring?"

Jimin sighed. "I honestly don't know. I don't know what the guys will think. Hobi and Tae are already freaked out but they promised to keep quiet for now. I don't know what Hitman Bang will think or how it will affect anything with fans. I know a lot may have a hard time with it. Which is why we need to keep it a secret for as long as possible."

There it was again. I didn't like that. I didn't like being a secret. I knew that he could see it all over my face as he continued, "It protects you too, Dia. Keeping things a secret for now keeps you safe." He kissed my forehead and pulled me into his body, holding me tight. "I was so scared last night. I don't want anything to happen to you."

He held me for a while like that before forcing me to lay back in bed. I tried to insist that I was fine but Dr. Jimin wouldn't let me have a say in the matter. He did bring me yummy food and everyone took turns keeping me company. I just had to hope that the next week would pass by quickly and that I'd be cleared by my real doctor for regular activity again.

Maybe then Dr. Jimin could provide a more thorough examination of my body.