《Bangtan 1- Jimin and Me ✓》Tear

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The conversation that followed between Jimin and myself was not as pleasant as the time we spent in bed. After we confirmed that we had both been tested recently and were clean, the conversation changed to a potential pregnancy. Jimin wanted to have his bodyguard run out and buy the Plan B pill. I didn't want to take it. It wasn't that I wanted to trap him into a surprise pregnancy but the thought of ending any life- at any point in which it was created just didn't sit well with me. Things got heated. I insisted that if I ended up pregnant, I wouldn't expect anything from him. He didn't like that one bit but I meant what I said. I had no intention of trapping him in a situation that he didn't want to be in.

That's where we left things between us and I now found myself walking alone up the beach, feeling utterly disappointed. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Jess was right. He was going to break my heart. It felt like it was already a little cracked.

I understood where he was coming from. I couldn't fault him for not wanting to be tied down to someone who was practically a stranger for the rest of his life. But I have always felt strongly about the whole idea of when life begins. And while I respect the choice for others in how they would want to handle an unexpected pregnancy, those choices just weren't an option for me. I stared out across the water as the gentle waves lapped the shore. It was late evening at this point. The sun had just started to set. We had spent all day in bed.

Thinking about the incredible time I had just spent with Jimin brought fresh tears to my eyes. I couldn't help but think that whatever short little fling we had was now over. I twisted my hands together and looked down at my feet as I walked. Maybe at this point, I should just plan to go to a hotel room until Jess got here. Or maybe I would go back home for the rest of the summer.

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I stopped walking and stared out at the ocean, contemplating my next move. I really didn't want to go back to the house with him there. I knew that I was being immature but my feelings were hurt. I sat down on the beach and wrapped my arms around my legs. Maybe I would just sleep on the beach. Okay, that was ridiculous. My frustration mounted as I couldn't figure out what I should do at this point.

I stayed on the beach in that position until the sun was long gone and the moon and stars were out. It was gorgeous and peaceful. I breathed deeply and started to give myself a pep talk before returning to the house.

At that moment, I felt two arms wrap around my shoulders as someone squatted down behind me. I recognized that familiar perfume and immediately felt comforted knowing that I was no longer alone.

"Miss me?" Jess asked.

Those two words were my undoing. Jess was like a sister to me. I broke down sobbing and buried my head in my arms.

"Oh, sweetie!" Jess exclaimed coming to my side and sitting down. She wrapped me up in her arms and rocked me from side to side.

I looked up at her and saw the pity in her eyes.

"Dia."

She knew. She didn't have to say anything else.

"I made a mess of everything" I cried.

She sighed and continued to hug me until my tears subsided. I wiped my eyes and we sat there looking out at the tranquil ocean and the beautiful night sky that blanketed it.

"I wish you would have listened to me," She whispered, "I can't stand to see you upset."

"It just sorta happened."

"I know. Those boys are deadly. And what's worse is they know it."

I nodded in agreement and we sat for a few minutes longer. The temperature began dropping as it got later in the evening and we finally relented to going back to the house.

"We can just get some ice cream out of the freezer and we can chill out in my room." Jess comforted me. "We don't have to interact with him at all."

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"Yeah, that's fine. I'll just sneak in through the door to my room and meet you there. I don't want either one of them to see that I've been crying."

Jess stopped walking. "Either one of them?"

"Yeah. JHope is here too."

Jess's eyes got big and her body tensed up.

"Hobi is here?!?" The look of panic in her eyes had me questioning what was going on between the two of them but she took off in a firm march towards the house before I could question her.

I tried to catch up but she had longer legs and was more determined to reach the house than I was. I gave up and walked back to the house at my own pace. I wonder what about Hobi got her so riled up?

I was still a little bit off from the house, hidden in the dark when I saw Jess stop short on the stairs of the deck. I stopped moving forward and looked up to the top of the stairs, seeing JHope standing rigid, looking down at Jess.

"Hey Jess" He spoke with a soft fondness that I hadn't heard before. Yeah. There definitely was some history there.

"Hobi. I...I didn't know...." Jess seemed for a loss for words.

"How are you, Jess?" JHope began walking down the steps towards her. Jess was frozen in place. I felt like I should go rescue her from this situation but I couldn't bring myself to move. My gut told me that this conversation needed to happen.

"I've missed you." JHope continued when he got no response.

The spell that seemed to have been cast on Jess was broken at that moment. She crossed her arms in front of her body and scoffed.

"Baby, please." Baby? So there was something between them.

JHope was now standing in front of her. He reached up and wiped a tear away from her cheek. They stared at each other and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a very private moment. He reached forward and slowly pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest. I turned away. I couldn't very well go inside. I'd have to walk past them and he'd know that I was out there. But it seemed like they needed some privacy.

I stayed that way for several minutes.

"Jess told me you were out here." I heard Jimin speak behind me. I turned around, startled by the voice that I wasn't expecting. Looking over his shoulder, I noticed that she and Hobi were no longer standing on the stairs.

"They went inside to his room to talk." He explained when he saw where I was looking. "She told me to come find you. She didn't want you to think she abandoned you and honestly, we need to talk."

I didn't want to talk. I just wanted everything to be okay. And I wanted to go eat ice cream with my best friend.

"I'm sorry." He started, taking a step towards me, "I don't really know what to say. I guess we just have completely different opinions about this but it's my fault. I'm the one that forgot to put a condom on."

"It doesn't land solely on you to remember." I responded.

"Maybe not. But I have to be more responsible than that. I just couldn't help myself. You get me so distracted. You're just so sexy."

I tried not to smile at that comment. I failed. It was a boost of confidence to know that I affected him as much as he affected me. He smiled back at me and continued, "Let's just wait for now. Maybe it isn't even an issue. I was having fun with you though. I really don't want the fun to end."

He had been moving closer to me with every word and now had his hands on my waist. I placed my hands on his arms and looked out at the ocean again. The boy caused my emotions to move the same way that the waves did. Back and forth and back again. He was going to be my undoing.

"You hungry?" He asked. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled at that very moment. Jimin chuckled.

"Starving." He smiled his wretchedly beautiful smile at me and grabbed my hand as we walked back up to the beach house.

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