It was an awkward plane ride home.

I ended up coming back to the house. Everyone had been drunk and was recovering from a hangover, so they hadn't really been concerned about my abscence. Jay, on the ohter hand, even with bloodshot eyes and liquor on his tongue, seemed concerned.

But I didn't want to hear it.

I was hurt beyond words. My own former best friend despised me, took advantage of a drunk guy, and fought with me. Grifin no longer wished to speak to me. Jay did embrace me, but I had just pushed his arms off of me.

"What was that for? I was worried about you!" Jay said.

I had scoffed. "Oh yeah? You didn't seem to care about me too much when I was talking to you last night."

"Alina, I was drunk."

I shook my head. "Drunken words are sober thoughts. You were still able to function. You caught me in a bad moment and being in that place was a mistake. You caught me kissing Griffin. I couldn't stop you from fucking my best friend."

We argued the whole time we were there. We argued in the car, until everyone else told us to shut up.

As Jay always did, he eventually grew stone cold and took back everything he said, and barreled hurtful words at me.

Now, here we were, side by side, sitting on the plane, not speaking a word to one another. He looked nervous as ever and couldn't seem to settle down. At one point, my hand reached for his, but I stopped myself before we touched. He looked as if he were on the verge of tears, but I knew him. He wasn't.

I was able to fall asleep. I rested my head against the window and drifted away. I told myself I didn't care if Jay had even one moment of peace on this plane. But deep down, I felt bad for him. I still wanted to hold his hand and assure him, like I had when we were first flying to Texas.

When I woke up, drowsy with sleep in my eyes, Jay was tapping his fingers against the armrest. Whenever he was uneasy he would fidget or fumble with a nearby object, or tap his fngers against a surface.

I looked up at him. We made eye contact. I opened my mouth to say something--anything--perhaps to reassure him. But before I could get any words out, Jay snapped, "What are you looking at?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him. We were behaving like three year olds, but I didn't care.

When we arrived, after a rough landing that had Jay pale and nervous and sweating, we drove home. That was an awkward and silent ride too.

Jay's parents weren't home. It was just us, Kristof, and Jay's dog at home.

Jay went into the kitchen and I heard him making food. I just headed upstairs and unpacked everything I needed to. I also changed into a fresh shirt.

When I went back dowstairs, Jay was sitting at the table, finishing the last of his meal. He'd made toast with tomatoes and basil. It looked so good and I could smell the fresh basil from here. My mouth watered and I craved what he had made. He looked up and made eye contact with me. Jay quickly got up and put his plate in the dishwasher before heading upstairs. When he got up, I was able to see what had been next to him. A plate of food for me.

I softened at the sight. Even though he wasn't speaking to me, he still made me food, and remembered how I was vegetarian.

I ate the toast. It was delicious. I wished Jay was here with me. Even when we hadn't been speaking, I had to admit I was comforted by his prescence. I finished eating and put my plate in the dishwasher. I headed to my room and decided to finish my homework and read. I hadn't done that in a while.

I also needed to charge my phone. My friends from Texas told me to call them once I was back. Savannah had asked me to show her my room and Jay's house. I laughed and told her I would try.

I remembered that I lent my charger to Jay. He had lost his at the airport when we first got here and I lent it to him as we were waiting at the aiport to go home. That was one of the very few verbal exchanges we had.

I decided to walk into his room and take the charger from his bag. I saw him tuck it in there last minute and he'd forgotten to give it back. I knocked on his bedroom door, but got no response. I sighed and opened the door. I heard the water running, which is why he hadn't heard me. His red suitcase was unpacked, true to Jay's nature, and I found my charger in the side pocket where I knew it was.

As I was preparing to leave, I heard quiet sobbing beneath the shower. The water was running but I could still hear Jay crying.

My heart softened. I had never seen him cry, and to audibly sob was another thing.

I rapped on the bathroom door. "Jay?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

A few seconds passed. "Yeah. I'm fine."

I lingered by the door. I felt bad for him.

I set the charger down and went in the bathroom. I knew this was a bold move but Jay was never going to cry in front of me and tell me what was wrong. If he didn't want me in here, he would tell me to leave and that would be it.

I heard the water shut off and Jay pull a towel off of the rack.

"Jay." I said, opening the door.

He looked up, startled. He wiped his eyes instinctively and looked at me. "Alina?"

I stepped into the bathroom, Jay's eyes following me the whole time. His eyes were soft and he was chewing his lip, as if he were trying not to cry.

He was bathing in very hot water. Steam had formed and I couldn't see myself in the mirror.

Jay still looked as if he was holding back a sob.

"Come here." I said. He stepped forwards and buried his face into my shoulder. He began to full-on sob. I rubbed his back and held him against me for a few moments, not caring about how soaked my clothes were getting. He just needed to be held. I don't think he had been in a long long time.

"Jay" I said.

"Hmm?" he mumbled into my skin.

"Do you want to talk?"

I felt him grow still in my arms. He lifted his head and I grew nervous. I had just ruined the moment between us.

He took a deep breath and nodded. He opened his mouth as if to speak but just burst into tears again.

I held him once again.

After a few moments, he pulled away.

"Ill meet you in my room." He said, his voice all cracked and raspy. "You probably want to shower in peace."

With that, he looked into my eyes once more, nowhere else, and stepped out of the bathroom. I watched him in the corner of my eye. He dried himself off and got dressed with shaking hands. He then ran a hand through his wet hair and walked out.

I finished up my shower as fast as I could. I felt dirty after the plane ride so I soaped up my whole body and washed my hair. When I was done, I quickly dried myself off. I didn't want to put dirty clothes back on, so I tiptoed to my room. I changed into a tshirt and leggings before padding over to Jay's room.

He was laying on the bed, playing with a loose thread on his comforter. I'd never seen him like this.

He looked up at me. His eyes were red and puffy. He looked so defeated.

He scooted over as I neared the bed and I lay down next to him. I took a sharp breath when I felt the cold. His room was awfully chilly. He looked at me and noticed my slight shaking. He grabbed the blanket at the foot of his bed and placed it over us.

"Thanks." I said and smiled.

He nodded and began fumbling with the pillow tassels.

"Jay, what's going on?" I began. We had to start somewhere.

He ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture he always did.

"Come here." I let him lay his head on my stomach and I began to stroke his damp locks.

"I-"

to be continuedddddd