KIMBERLY

" manage to look overdressed in denim?" Jace questioned, leaning against the hood of his Aston Martin.

I looked down at my outfit, realizing he had a point.

I was wearing high-waisted, light denim shorts paired with a long-sleeved white corset top. But, unlike my other outfits, this top covered most of my chest and only exposed my collarbone.

I didn't think it was too over-the-top. Okay, maybe the body chain peeking through the top was a bit too much. But, in its defense, it looked cute and tied the entire outfit together. Plus, I needed some spice to the otherwise plain outfit.

My white sandals were also more casual than my typical heels. The only thing that stood out was my red lip, but I had to keep it on. It was a Kimberly-classic.

Rolling my eyes, I snapped at him, making my way to the passenger door. "Get used to it. You're marrying someone who isn't really known for her subtlety." I pushed my sunglasses down to look at him. "In fact, didn't you make a comment about my 'subtlety' a couple of weeks back?"

The realization sparked in his eyes, as he opened the door for me to get in.

"I had a point then and a point now," he retorted.

I took the time to look at him, realizing that our outfits were a different execution of a similar concept. Instead of a white shirt and light denim, he was wearing a black shirt and dark-washed jeans.

It was the middle of August and the heat was coming down at full force. I don't know how he was surviving in those jeans and black shirt, but I wasn't complaining.

The definition of his broad shoulders in the shirt and his exposed arms were enough to keep me visually satisfied. I was glad we made up—or whatever what happened was called—because it took away some of the tension.

My eyes had a mind of their own when it came to Jace and an involuntary roll slipped out as I sat inside. The second he shut my door, he made his way over to the other side. His large physique, once again, completely obliterated any room for breathing and my mind fluttered to what happened last night.

For the hundredth time since we met, I fell asleep to the feeling of his hands all over me, pleasuring me in ways I haven't felt in so long.

A blush threatened to come out, so I mentally changed the subject. "Where are we going again?" I knew he said we were visiting his mom, but it just occurred to me that I had no idea where he grew up.

"Philadelphia." I mentally did the calculations and realized we were looking at—at least—a two-hour drive.

Oh fuck.

Nodding, I asked another question. "Did you like growing up in Philly?" I'd only been there a few times, but it seemed nice enough.

"There's nothing to not like about it." Would it kill him to answer my questions normally?

"Yes."

My head snapped to him and I realized I said that aloud. That never happened to me. He was already messing up my brain beyond measure. "I have a question."

"You always do," he muttered.

Ignoring him, I continued, "How do you look like that?"

"Well," his sarcastic tone made me wary. "Almost twenty-nine years ago, my mom and Alex decided to procreate."

I could feel my left eye start twitching in anger. "There's a reason I said what I said. You don't take my questions seriously."

"What do you want me to say?" he snapped. "It's not like your question wasn't ambiguous."

I don't know what pissed me off more. The fact that he snapped at me or the fact that we had a valid point.

"Fine," I gritted out. "You look built like an athlete. Why?"

"Because I was one." Sensing that I was one second away from exploding, he reluctantly continued, "I played football in high school and college. My football scholarship was the only way I was able to pay my tuition at UPenn before Alex came into the picture."

Football scholarship?

That had to mean he was really good at the sport to be able to get a scholarship at an Ivy League. I was genuinely regretting my question because my mind immediately thought about how his ass would look in those tight pants and how rough he would be in bed.

I really am no better than a man.

"Cool."

Seriously, Kimberly. That's all you can say?

God, I need a drink. Thankfully, I thought ahead and took out my flask. Right when I was about to take a sip, he grabbed the flask with his free hand and sniffed it.

"Is that"—he sniffed again—"vodka?"

Snatching the flask back, I finally took the sip I was deprived of. "And what if it is?" I retorted childishly, not wanting to hear the judgment in his voice that I got from everyone else.

"It's ten in the morning," he deadpanned.

"So?"

"You know what? Knock yourself out."

"Thank you. I will."

♕♕♕

I wasn't drunk.

The tiny little flask was not enough to get me drunk.

But, the way Jace was looking at me, you'd think I out-drank an entire club. Those judgemental eyes were the first thing I woke up to. About thirty minutes into the drive, sleep overtook me after I finished the contents of my flask.

Normally, I preferred the entire bottle, but it didn't seem too practical to carry around. So, one year for my birthday, Ashton bought me a flask so I could control how much I drank in public—his words, not mine.

I threw the flask at him, but it was cute, so I kept it with me.

"Can you stop looking at me like that?" I asked, annoyed.

He didn't bother responding to my question. "We're here."

I didn't realize the car was stopped until I looked out the window, shocked by the sight before me. We reached an outpatient cancer treatment center, based on the large sign in front of me.

His mom had cancer?

If she was staying at an outpatient treatment center, it must've been a very aggressive form of cancer. Jace already exited the car during my reverie, coming over to my side to open the door. Once I stepped out, he immediately took off for the entrance.

The cool air-conditioning hit my bare skin, causing goosebumps to rise up all over. It took a few seconds of adjusting, but eventually, my body got used to the temperature. The goosebumps, however, stayed.

"Jace," a cheery, older receptionist greeted. "It's good to see you again. Who's this?"

I held up my hand with the ring I had the sense to put back on my finger as we made our way to the entrance, as Jace responded, "Meet my fiancé, Kimberly."

Her eyes lit up in realization, "Oh my god, Kimberly Astor! I knew you looked familiar. I absolutely loved you in the Chanel campaign."

"Thank you, Maeva," I responded, after looking at her name-tag. "It's nice to meet you."

"Oh, please! The pleasure's all mine," she replied, dismissing my politeness. "I read about your engagement in the news, but I didn't realize it was our Jace you were engaged to."

A sudden burst of laughter came out from right next to me. It was so foreign, I thought I imagined it for a brief second. Jace replied, still laughing, "Just how many Jace Kingstons do you know, Mae?"

"Hush," she chastised, slapping his arm. "You've never once brought up a lady in my presence, and Kimberly Astor is the type of woman men brag about to everyone who's willing to listen. Don't you forget it, boy."

"I like you, Mae. You bring up very excellent points." I flashed Jace an overly cheerful smile, scrunching up my nose, making him roll his eyes.

"How's Mom doing? We're here to see her," Jace asked, all hints of amusement gone.

"She's doing a lot better," Maeva consoled, talking to Jace the way a mother would a son. "Remember, she made it past the five-year mark. She's strong, she'll make it through this."

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

This is the worst time for me to get another panic attack. But, those words and this place were bringing back memories I had suppressed for so long.

That's what the doctors told me.

That he was strong. That he would make it.

Lies. All fucking lies.

I could feel my chest heaving up and down in rapid bursts. Up and down. Up and down.

Jace looked at me, worry and confusion apparent in his eyes. Even Maeve looked up at me with a similar expression, and that was it. I needed to get out of here and I needed to calm down.

The number of panic attacks I've been having this month is fucking alarming.

I didn't mean to bring attention to myself when we were here for his mom, but I didn't have control over my attacks. They came when and where they wanted to. It didn't help that we were in a cancer center, the place being my main trigger.

I mumbled something—which I was hoping was an 'I'll be back', but was sure it was gibberish—and raced to the bathroom, locking myself into one of the stalls.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

I needed Vivian.

I ne-

"Venus," Jace's voice rang out from the other side of the door. "Are you okay?"

I didn't know how to answer the age-old question.

I couldn't even open my mouth to form any semblance of a sentence. The last panic attack I had that was this bad was when we were in the bridal boutique and Vivian was there to help me through it. The one in Brazil was mild compared to this.

"Fuck it."

Fuck what?

My mental question was answered when the door opened, and steps rushed to the outside of the stall I was currently in. I really hoped the bathroom was empty because I don't know how people would react if they found a man in the women's bathroom.

"Hey," his voice called out, softer than I was used to. "Name three things you don't like about me."

"What?" My question came out in a rapid burst of air.

"Just do it."

"Um," I tried calming down my breathing. "How much space you take up, how you only give one-word answers, how you always find a way to get on my nerves, how you turn me on, how you boss me around, how you—"

"I only said three."

"Well, I have a list," I retorted.

My breathing was returning back to normal and the world stopped spinning for a second. I needed to continue taking my mind off of things if this panic attack was going to subside.

Jace, almost sensing my thoughts, gave another prompt. "Name three things you want to eat."

"Tacos, fries, and a milkshake... preferably cookies and cream." It was a completely normal combination for my upcoming cycle.

"Name three—" He was cut off by another person entering the bathroom, most likely shocked to see Jace in there. "My fiancée's in here."

The poor woman retreated back to the hallway, leaving the two of us alone again.

Before he could resume, I interrupted him. "Jace, I'm fine now."

"You sure?" he dubiously asked.

"Yes, I'm gonna unlock the door, but can you help me up?" Jell-O had more structure than my legs after that panic attack. Thankfully, my arms were more mobile and I was able to unlock the stall door.

The door swung open and Jace stood there, taking me in.

I hated myself for letting him see me like this. Weak, vulnerable, defeated.

I put out the version of myself that I so desperately wanted to be at all times. The confident, sexy, extrovert who didn't take bullshit from anyone. And, I wanted Jace to see me like that, not this.

Never this.

I already cried in his presence more than I wanted to. I needed some of my dignity intact.

I reached my hand out, and he grabbed it, easily pulling me up with him. Now... I'm a tall girl. And, with height, came more bone density and shit. So, I wasn't used to people being able to lift me up like I weighed nothing. But, Jace was so good at it.

How could I possibly forget the size of those obnoxious muscles?

"Your obnoxious muscles," I whispered against his chest. I could feel his eyes burning holes—not ones of anger—into the top of my head. I was weak. I didn't want to look up into those hazel eyes of his and feel things I didn't want to feel.

"What?"

Reluctantly, I looked up to those eyes that were now boring into mine. "Another thing I don't like about you."

A smile broke out onto his face as he shook his head and looked away. Those damn smiles were infectious because—in a matter of seconds—I felt one forming on my face.

"You, Kimberly Astor, are going to be the death of me. Come on, let's go," he stated, letting go of me.

My body had whiplash from the sudden lack of his warmth. I didn't even realize where he'd been touching me until he was gone. Mindlessly, I trailed out of the bathroom, following him to his mom's room.

When we reached the door, he put a hand on the small of my back, supporting me while moving me forward.

Inside of the room was a frail woman, laying down on a bed, with bundles of tubes sticking out of her. The image brought me back to him, but I forced the thoughts away, too scared to have another panic attack in my future mother-in-law's presence.

I'd always thought that Jace looked eerily similar to Alex, but looking down at the woman before me, I realized that she and Jace had the same tan, olive complexion and hazel-brown eyes.

I could see how Alex was once in love with her. She's absolutely beautiful, with that kind smile and warm eyes. A timeless beauty.

"Ma, this is Kimberly, my fiancée," he introduced me. She sat up in her bed with great effort as we made our way closer to her.

"Hello," I began with a genuine smile. "It's nice to meet you, Ms-"

Shit. I didn't know her last name.

Correction: Jace never told me her name.

"D'Angelo," she laughed, seeing my wide expression. "But, you can call me Carina."

She, just like her son, had an infectious smile and laugh. Smiling back, I replied, "It's nice to meet you, Carina."

"Likewise." She reached her hand out for mine—which I accepted—before turning her attention to Jace. "Caro, it's nice to see you too, but can you give us some privacy?"

"Wow," Jace teased. "I don't see you in how long and you're trying to get rid of me."

He leaned over to give his mom a kiss on the forehead, looking down at her in admiration. My heart skipped multiple beats at the sight.

Stop beating, overdramatic bitch.

"It's your fault for not visiting, not mine," she chastised.

Jace leaned over to whisper in my ear so his mother couldn't hear me. "If you upset her, you're walking back home."

Of course he was able to make me feel a spectrum of emotions towards him in the span of five seconds.

Rolling my eyes, I snapped in a whisper, "I'm not a monster."

He gave me another pointed look before leaving the room. I stuck my tongue out at his retreating figure, eliciting a laugh from Carina.

"Please"—she nodded towards the chair—"sit."

I did what I was told, before looking back at her. I couldn't help but blurt out, "Why aren't you mad at me?"

"For what?" she replied, as if I wasn't the elephant in the room.

"Well," I started, not knowing how to continue. "It's my fault Jace got into this arranged marriage mess. As his mother, I assume you'd wish that he was marrying for love instead."

She stayed quiet for a few seconds, showing no emotion on her face. For a second, I thought I did upset her and would have to walk back home.

These shoes were not made for walking.

"Obviously, it's every parent's dream to see their kids find love and happiness. But I know that it's not always a possibility in your world." She had a point there. A lot of the people I knew had marriages of convenience. "That being said, call it maternal instinct or whatever, but I know that this isn't what you wanted either.

"That's the understatement of the year," I mumbled.

Her eyes held pity at my admission as her eyes clouded with memories. "Jace tells me you know his father well."

I nodded. "Alex has always been like a second dad to me."

"Then, surely, you know he had an arranged marriage too." I nodded again. It was common knowledge that Alex and Efthymia had an arranged marriage. I didn't know all the details, but I knew enough.

"Tell me," she continued. "Are they happy?" Her voice was distraught, and I couldn't help the way my heart wrenched for her.

I know what it's like to lose someone you love more than anything.

I know the pain, the anger, the distress.

But I had to be honest.

"Yeah... they are." The way I was convinced Vivi and I were platonic soulmates was the same way I knew Effie and Alex were platonic soulmates. At the end of the day, they may not have romantic love for each other, but they were one another's best friend.

"That's why I don't blame you for anything, Kim," she sighed. "Because I know that my Jace will be able to find happiness with you too. As long as he has happiness, I don't mind if he lives a life without love. Happiness means so much more."

I stayed quiet.

Because how could I tell her that I wasn't sure if I could give her son either?

♕♕♕

We spent the next hour and a half talking about everything.

She would tell me stories about Jace and I would tell her about myself. Occasionally, I would slip in stories with Alex to sate her unspoken curiosity about the man she once loved. She didn't say more about the history between her and Alex, and I didn't pry.

If it wasn't obvious from the 'no personal questions' clause, I didn't like people knowing more about me than I wanted them to.

"I hope you don't take offense to my question, but I just wanted to know," I gently asked her. "What type of cancer do you have?"

"Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma," she stated. "It's a type of—"

"Blood cancer," I finished for her. "I know. I actually fund a cancer center in the city. It's one of the best in the country, and we're known for our advancements in blood cancer research and treatment. If you want a change of scenery, just let me know."

Even though it was best for her to stay in a place she was familiar with, it wouldn't hurt either her or Jace for them to be closer. And I would do everything in my power to make it possible.

Family was the only thing that kept me going all these years.

"Thank you for offering, cara," she replied. "But, I think I'll stick here for now. If I do end up wanting to take you up on that offer, I'll let you know."

Jace decided to walk in at that moment, looking back and forth between Carina and I. Pleased to see that I didn't make her cry, he sat with us, questioning his mother about her health and wellbeing.

I don't know why he was gone for that long, but I chalked it up to business.

I couldn't help but constantly look at him from the corner of my eye. This was my first time seeing him so at ease and happy. While he was somewhat relaxed in Brazil, the workaholic in him kept him tense. Now, it was addicting to watch him.

To see the way the corners of his eyes crinkled whenever he smiled.

The way his hand would come up to rub his jaw when Carina would tease him relentlessly.

The way his head would roll back with laughter when either one of us would say something amusing.

Before I knew it, Jace checked his watch and indicated it was time for us to be heading back. The second he left the room to bring the car out front, Carina turned to me.

"You know, I think you two will have no trouble finding happiness together," she stated matter-of-factly.