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You ever cried so much that your body shook? Your throat hurt and your teeth tremble when you tried to speak? You ever found yourself in a situation that you can't even begin to explain when someone asks you? You ever just kept crying and crying because the words refuse to come out? You keep crying and crying to where your body physically hurt, you're wondering if your eyes ever do stop and all you want to do is numb the pain. Anything for it to go away, right?

That's where I was laying on my bathroom floor wondering how I got myself into this situation.

People say that sobbing is worse than crying but today I realized that the worse type of cry is when you're all alone, you feel like your own thoughts are against you as you silently cried. Not bothering to wipe your eyes because it just make no sense. You don't even make a sound because you can't and even if you do, you're worried about anyone hearing you.

In three days I was supposed to be off in a plane to the NightMist pack where the doctor's conference was being held. I still needed to ask my brother to be my date. I still needed to find a dress. Evander really knows about bad timing. White wouldn't even speak to me. When I would reach for her she would be a whimpering mess. I felt bad for her and angry at the selfish Evander Spade Rowan.

My heart hurt. My eyes hurt. My arms hurt. My head hurt. You know what, my entire body is in physical and internal pain. My eyes begin to feel heavy and I feel sleep calling out to me.

_♤_

I wake up on my bed and immediately jolt up. How the hell did I get here? The last thing I remembered was passing out on the bathroom floor. I looked to my room door that was in front of my bed. There was a fist size hole through the once beautifully painted white wooden door. I frowned, remembering that I spent an hour when I saw ten choosing that door. It was ten in the morning, I knew that because of the alarm clock on my table.

Great.

I took my broken body to the bathroom so I could shower and brush my teeth. The flower that was once in my hair lied on the marble countertop. I didn't have it in me to destroy it so I looked away and pretended I didn't see it. When it was time to change, I chose a well thought of outfit. Sure it was simple and cute but I would usually wear a hoodie and jeans when I would go to the mall. Today I chose a cropped top with high waisted jeans and a denim jacket over it since I wasn't into my shoulders being bare. I was a normal insecure girl after all. I stare at the girl in the mirror.

It's going to be okay.

Smiling, I walked out of my room and down the stairs. When I walked by the breakfast table I already had my car keys in my hand. "I'm going to the mall today and you know I only go if it's necessary. If you need me I'm a link away," I tell nobody in particular before walking out. I made sure not to look at him. I didn't need negativity this morning.

As I made my way to my car I mind linked one of the maids to get someone to repair my door. I really didn't want to know who helped me on my bed this morning.

Kira Leeus

"Brandon had to pick her off the floor, Evan!" I protest against my Alpha. Evander frowned. "It had to be done. To protect her and save our asses," he mumbled. Evander keeps repeating that he had to reject her as if he was trying to convince himself. "Yeah but you've been through so much, Evander. The abuse, the trauma, the constantly putting yourself last, how much longer can you be a hero?" I rambled off.

Evander stops in his tracks and I do the same. "This way it is better. She gets to move on with a boy she deserves and I deal with him and Iris. It makes no sense driving her into this mess she doesn't deserve. And don't tell me that I hurt her because I was the one that saw behind her smile this morning, I cannot win," Evander sternly told me.

He's referring to the way he lost Rieka and put her through pain while saving her from danger at the same time. I wanted to protest longer but I knew he couldn't. "Let's just stick to the plan," Evander added and I'm forced to agree.