CHAPTER 2: Britney/Brittany

(SEASON 2 Episode 2)

It was the start of another week of Glee club. As Mr. Schue began the glee lesson for that week, he asked the group a question. "Alright. Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"

"He discovered America." answered Brittany innocently. Haley laughed quietly and whispered. "No honey, that was Christopher Columbus. He was problematic and racist."

"Close." Mr. Schue sighed, picking up some sheet music to hand out to the group. "He did write an iconic chart topper Sailing."

"I have a bad feeling about this lesson." sighed Kurt

Mumbling in agreement Tina said. "Never heard of him. Don't want to hear about him."

"Now, some people think of the term 'easy listening' as a bad thing but I'm gonna let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones and you guys are really good about putting it all out there but really good music can also be controlled and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience." Mr. Shue said, even though he sensed no enthusiasm over this week's assignment.

"How can you get caught between the moon and New York City?" Finn asked, with confusion evident in his voice as he browsed the sheet music. "They're like a hundred miles apart." he added.

"Mr. Schue, if I may." Kurt asked while raising his hand. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. It's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand? That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly the McKinley High school Glee Club perform a number by -- wait for it -- Ms. Britney Spears."

Immediately, everyone suddenly cheered enthusiastically. Conversations were started and the interest and attention span grew. The only person not too interested in this idea was Mr. Schue himself.

"Yo, Spears is fierce, yo." Artie said.

"Sorry, Kurt, Sorry." Mr. Schue said, interrupting the conversation and interest, causing the group to look at him. "No. No. No. I don't think she's a very good role model."

"But Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her." Rachel replied. Haley actually hated to admit this, but she nodded her head in agreement.

"She's literally why I wanted to become a performer." Tina added to the responses that were forming.

"I don't want to do Britney." Brittany said aloud, causing everyone to turn to her.

"Why no Britney, Brittany? Kurt asked.

"Because my name is also Britney Spears."

"What? Huh?" Haley turned to look at her again, confusion gracing her face.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Mercedes rhetorically asked.

"My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce." Brittany began to expand on her answer. Haley couldn't believe her innocence and this current insanity. "That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce. I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears' shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."

There was a moment of confused silence,, but Mr. Schue kept it short, pointing at Brittany while he spoke.

"Well, there you have it, guys. It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry."

Thanks, Britt." Kurt said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes at the innocent Cheerio. "Thanks a lot."

"Leave her alone." Santana and Haley said in unison. Both were quick to defend the naive girl.

"Thank you for understanding." Brittany whispered towards the both of them, sending them her gentle smile.

"Um, can we move on?" Rachel asked, trying to get their meeting back on track.

"Yes, Let's talk about Michale Bolton." Mr. Schue quickly answered.

----

During class the next day, Mr. Schue introduced Dr. Carl Howell, a dentist. The group listened as he talked about the importance of hygiene and so on. Haley was kind of zoned out and did not catch the entirety of the conversation.

:All right. So here's the deal. You chew this little capsule." Carl said, while handing them the package of capsules to the group. As they distributed the capsules among each other, he continued. "If there's any plaque you missed, the dye will stick to it and turn your teeth blue."

"Can I just say that you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen.: Santana confidently spoke up as he smirked in response.

"Wanky." Haley said aloud, receiving a laugh and proud look from Santana.

"Yeah, I get that all the time." He shrugged, brushing it off like it was no big deal.

"No. Like, seriously, you can totally drill me whenever..."

"Santana.: Ms. Pillsbury awkwardly interrupted the girl and Haley snickered."Okay, let's stay focused."

"Rock and roll, Ems." Dr. Howard agreed before moving to stand beside Mr. Schue. He gestured toward him. "Now, this guy's pretty easy on the eyes too, huh? And you know what? No matter how hard I tried I bet I couldn't sing and dance like him."

"Ah, probably not.: Mr. Schue said. The exchange made Haley and Quinn frown.

"Alright. Let's take a look at those chompers, huh?"

"Before we chew, I would just like to alert Mr. Schue that there's been a new addition to the Britney Spears Facebook campaign." Kurt tried to make a point as Mr. Schue just shook his head.

"Sorry. The answer's still no." He replied as everyone sighed. He continued. "Capsules guys."

"Yes. Chew away. Chew, chew." Ms. Pillsbury said as she smiled.

Haley chewed her capsule until there was nothing left. She held up a mirror, she borrowed from Santana, surprised at how there was nothing. "Wow for being anxious, depressed and struggling that's impressive." she thought to herself.

As she was giving the mirror back to Santana, Finn's voice interrupted their movement. "Oh my God." He explained looking at Rachel shocked.

"What?" She asked, humiliated and immediately reaching for her mirror and gasping at her very blue teeth. She squealed. "Ah! I don't understand. I floss between classes." She said paranoid.

"Well, sometimes it's genetics." Carl assured her.

"I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror." Artie said.

"I don't brush my teeth." Brittany said, causing Haley to look at her. "I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."

"Oh, Britt." Haley said, shaking her head, slightly in shock.

"I got this Em." he told Ms. Pillsbury before leaning down towards Brittany to get a better look. "Alright. Open up."

Brittany complied, making a face as he laughed.

"Close." He finished laughing as Ms. Pillsbury laughed at him. "Close again."

----

As Mr. Schue tried to get the group interested into yet another singer. Haley didn't bother listening. She was rather listening to Santana tell her about her and Britt's visit to the dentist.

"Making Christopher Cross a Golden Globe, Oscar, and five-time Grammy award winner." He seemed to have just finished a sentence, but Haley wouldn't know as she was too enthused on listening to Santana's story.

Suddenly, Brittany raised her hand. "I would just like to say that, from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club." Everyone turned to look at her.

"What?" Rachel asked, horrified.

"When I had my teeth cleaned I had the most amazing Britney Spears." Brittany explained. "I sang and danced better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am."

Haley smiled as Santana added. "I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy too. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined. It doesn't make sense."

"You see, Mr. Schue? I told you." Kurt said as everyone looked at him. "Britney Spears busted our Britt out of her everyday fragmented haze of confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform."

"I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now." Brittany said. "It's Brittany...Bitch."

"Guys, we're not doing Britney Spears, and that's that." Mr. Schue protested as Haley rolled her eyes.

"Mr. Schue, you are letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do." Kurt argued. "I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture and Britney Spears is pop culture. To suggest otherwise is heretical."

Haley nodded in agreement and sent Kurt a smile, which he acknowledged.

"Kurt! I'm done talking about this."

"Geez! Let loose a little, would you? Kurt asked, annoyance and frustration evident in his voice. "Stop being so fricking uptight all the time."

Silence suddenly struck among the group. Kurt looked at the ground, as Haley tried to hide her laughs behind a shocked expression.

"Kurt." he finally said. "I'll see you in the principal's office."

----

Haley was in complete shock as Rachel Berry walked into the choir room dressed like Britney Spears. She wore a white tied up shirt, short skirt, and a black cardigan. Two braids completed the outfit.

"Oh my god. What the actual hell." Haley giggled and she then continued on to whisper something in Santana's ear who smirked.

"Well, Rachel, congratulations." Santana said sarcastically. "Normally you dress like the fantasy of a perverted Japanese businessman with a very dark, specific fetish but I actually dig this look. Yay." Her and Haley mockingly clapped, discreetly laughing at the insult.

"Thank you." Rachel smiled, completely ignoring the rude insult.

"I think what Santana's trying to say, Rachel--though I risk expulsion by saying so..." Kurt said, sending a pointed look towards Mr. Schue. "Is that it seems Britney Spears has really helped you blossom. That's all."

"Wait, Rachel, is that true?" Mr. Schue asked. "I mean, you are sort of dressing differently."

Finn went on to interrupt Artie's rude comments and Haley's remark of his comments being sexist.

"Look. All I know is that I had a very vivid Britney Spears fantasy at the dentist and since then it's made me feel free to get out of my own way." Rachel expanded on her explanation. "I think I've just always been afraid to dress like a pretty girl because I've never really felt like one before. Now I realize it's okay to feel that way about yourself every now and then. Maybe it's a good thing.

"It is such a good thing, I can't believe it." Agreed Brittany.

Before Mr. Schue could add anything, Coach Sylvester stuck her head in the room looking utterly displeased. "William, a word?"

---

Haley was back at her house with Santana, Quinn and Brittany.

"I believe I can pull off looking confident. Berry inspired me to get out of my comfort zone." she said to the three girls.

Brittany was off in her own world, grateful that Haley allowed Lord Tubbington to join. Santana and Quinn were more attentive and nodded at her.

"Let me look through my closet." she continued talking as she went into her closet.

After awhile, she pulled out her top clothing options, laying them on her bed.

"I have this purple shirt, this fuzzy sweater, these other sweaters.... I could wear this." She showed the girls a purple shirt with floral designs on the sleeves. "No that's kiddish... I don't care, I can find something. God why don't I have anything trendy or presentable in my closet? Everything is all cute and girlish! Ah." she began rambling and her breathing began to speed up and she suddenly broke down into tears.

The girls rushed to her side. Britt stroked her hair, while Haley leaned into Santana crying and Quinn comforted her by rubbing her back, telling her to breath.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" Quinn asked.

"Did Lord Tubbington do something offensive? I swear the dinosaurs in the clouds got him addicted and now he is struggling to kick his ecstasy problem." Brittany said innocently.

"You can tell us." Santana said quietly.

Sniffling, Haley sat up and began to talk. "I guess I don't feel confident in myself sometimes. You know? It sounds stupid. But there are much deeper problems going on, that I didn't want to share, because I already felt like a burden."

"Oh honey, you aren't though. We are here for you." Quinn said. "And if it's any consolation, I've struggled with my insecurities too."

"Overcoming challenges and struggles only makes you stronger." Santana added.

"We are all here for you, even Lord Tubbington is too." Brittany added stroking Haley's hair.

"You aren't alone, and you underestimate yourself. You are beautiful." Quinn said to her.

"I have an idea. Why don't we go shopping? Buy you some new clothing additions? Auntie Snixx knows some clothing that will suit you" Santana asked. Haley nodded.

"I also have another idea." Quinn smirked, making Haley laugh.

"Thank you girls, it feels good to know I have a stable support system." Haley responded, Surprised, she didn't ramble about her anxiety, depression, abuse and other issues. She knew the girls were there for her.

----

Strolling the hallways of McKinley in a cheerios uniform never felt so satisfying, thought Haley to herself. After shopping, and long discussions the girls had convinced Sue to let her join the team.

She watched the crowd of teens flow to the side as she walked alongside Santana only to pass Sam and Finn, and Kurt who just looked surprised at her newfound confidence.

"Hi boys." she attempted to flirt bumping right into Santana.

"Sorry." she giggled as Santana rolled her eyes playfully.

"Huh that's weird. It's unlike her to be that confident." Finn mumbled aloud to Kurt who nodded.

Sam sent her a wave which she returned with a wave and a smile. The two had become good friends hanging out during breaks and occasionally outside of school.

Finn ran after her. "Hey Haley, what made you decide to join the Cheerios?"

Haley turned around. "I had this sudden newfound confidence." she replied. Half of her answer was true, the other half was still a little lie. She winked and walked off after Santana.

Finn couldn't help but notice something might be wrong. "Whatever is going on, we need to figure it out." He said to Kurt who nodded. They weren't the only ones who noticed, a certain blonde had seen past her confident exterior and was determined to get to the bottom of the situation.

----

The performance had gone wrong. Well in Haley's opinion, it was only horrible because Mr. Schue decided to perform alongside them, and the fire alarm went off as well. She expected Sue had something to do with it, since their show caused a sex riot. It was unintentional. "Sure, Britney is "sexy"," she thought, but she didn't expect the resulting reactions to be how they turned out to be. She was sure teenagers could control their urges way better than she had seen today, "right?"

However even though she was on Cheerios, it still didn't prevent her from being bullied, slushied or in this scenario, hit on.

A guy walked up to her. "Hey you looked really sexy up there." he said.

"Um thanks." she replied, very unsure of what to do and how to get rid of him. She tried to walk, but he followed her.

"Do you want to go out with me tonight and we can go back to my house?" he asked her.

"Ew are you pressuring me into having sex with you? The answer's no." she answered, disgusted.

She continued walking, trying to come up with ways to get rid of him. He kept pestering her with questions and sexually harassing comments. When she thought it couldn't get worse, he put his hand on her waist and cornered her into a wall.

"Answer me now, because I might have to just take you now." he said, right in her face.

"Leave me alone. Please...I am not interested, you are freaking me out." she rambled, trying hard not to cry.

"Come on." he said, as he leaned in. She looked away. "God if you are up there, or any god if you exist, get this kid the heck out of my hair." she thought.

"LET GO of her." she heard a stern voice becoming louder as the person approached. "She asked you to go away. She isn't interested." She recognized Sam's voice and sighed in relief.

The guy reluctantly let go of her and walked off, leaving Haley trying hard to not breakdown or have an anxiety attack on the spot. She held onto the wall, attempting to control her breathing.

Hoping she hadn't revealed her anxiety attack to Sam, she turned around only to be greeted by his arms wrapping her into a hug.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently as she pulled away to look him in the eyes and nod. "Yeah I'm fine I guess." she looked away and back at him.

"Thanks for scaring him off for me." she said, giving him a small smile.

"No problem." he smiled down at her.

"So, I heard that coach Bieste gave you the Quarterback position, huh?"

"Yeah!" he answered proudly, giving her his signature smile. Haley blushed, and looked down.

"That's cool, Congrats." she said. He nodded in response.

"I guess that explains why you didn't show up for glee club auditions." she said slowly.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry about that. I truly am." He paused. "Believe me, I really wanted to. Really I did. I just saw how the guys talked about glee club and seeing that I am the new guy, and just got the quarterback position, I didn't want to cut my chances of being respected at this school." he finished sheepishly.

"I get it Sam, trust me i do." Haley nodded, sadly. "I know how it feels to want to feel respected. Been there. But I want to add that it isn't about labels. That isn't important. Anyways, I...I have to go."

He nodded sadly, watching her as she walked away, discreetly scolding himself for not asking about the confidence and Cheerios thing. "Well it's better for now if nothing is said. It was not the right time." he thought to himself and wandered the other direction.