Even from sitting all the way across the Sixth Form Common Room I'm able to clearly see the fact Imogen and Oliver are talking about me. They have their heads bent low and are shuffled close together, visibly having a murmured conversation that's full of little glances they send in my direction every five minutes. I'm sitting here with a bunch of textbooks, trying to get some revision done but failing due to their weird behaviour.

Their whispered conversation suddenly comes to an end, with Imogen straightening and abruptly appearing very determined. She then pivots on her heel and begins marching toward me, looking as though there's nothing to stand in her way. I stare at her as she comes striding towards me, not knowing whether to make a run for it or to put my hands up in surrender.

"So," Imogen says as she comes to a stop before me. "Still reading that textbook are we?"

I gawk back at her. "Er, yeah-"

"Ruby," she interrupts me. "All you've been doing lately is revision and looking miserable, and I'm tired of it. I want the old Ruby back, the one that isn't such a stressed out killjoy."

Her statement is the definition of blunt and it takes me a little time to respond to it. Miserable? Killjoy? When have I have been any of those things? Sure, for the past few weeks things have been a little gloomy and a little work-heavy, but I sure hadn't noticed anything that different. Well, not really different.

"I'm the same 'Ruby'," I say, flicking to a new page in my textbook, though at the back of my mind a tiny part of me knows I'm lying. "I'm just studying hard, that's all." I hear Imogen scoff loudly above me as I start reading a passage on France's tourism industry for Geography.

"Please," she says, and from the whoosh of air I feel I can tell she's waving her arms about dramatically. "You're deluded! You need a break and you're getting one today. Oliver and I agreed and there's no question about it."

I finally look up from my work. Imogen now has her hands firmly planted on her lips as she looks defiantly at me with her eyebrows raised and her mouth pursed, putting on such a fierce expression it'd make me crazy to question her.

A defeated sigh escapes my mouth.

She doesn't even know why I've been drowning myself in work. Reading textbooks and focusing on exams is a whole lot easier than other things that've been going on, maddening stuff that I need to forget, or rather- a maddening person.

But now all the work is taking its toll, there's something newly tiring about each day and I can't help but think that a movie with Oliver and Imogen sounds a lot more appealing than sitting at my desk, poring over revision notes.

"Alright," I say, somewhat reluctantly. "We'll do something."

Imogen loses her frightening appearance and squeals, clapping her hands together. "I've got just the thing planned! Be at mine at five, alright?" I barely have time before she rushes off, out of the room.

I narrow my eyes as I stare after her, thinking how that was far too a bubbly response from Imogen.

Oliver saunters over, attempting to look clueless. "So, er, got any plans today Rubes?"

I roll my eyes. "You know I have."

* * *

The first thing I notice about Imogen's house, every time I go there, is the Christmas wreath hung on her front door. It's there all year-round, come rain or shine. Her mum claims she never has the effort to take it down but it's been there for so long it's become part of their home, seeing it is as common as seeing windows. If it were to suddenly disappear, it'd be like someone had taken the doorknob of the door- it just wouldn't work.

I ring the doorbell and wait, thinking distantly of which film we're going to watch. I have a feeling it's going to be Legally Blonde even with Oliver's company. No matter how many times he says he hates that film, no one else gets as excited during the ending.

The front door swings open. The action is closely followed by the lurching sensation of my stomach plunging down. Tripping back in surprise I find myself stumbling off the doorstep as my mouth drops open, I barely stop myself from tumbling onto the ground by reaching out and grabbing fistfuls of branches belonging to a bush by the door.

"Having a nice trip, Bug?" Levi says derisively as he stands in the doorway, watching me with an expression that's a mix of appearing unimpressed and humoured. I let go of the bush and immediately attempt to regain my composure- unsuccessfully. Instead, I close my mouth and stare wordlessly at Levi who stands a few feet away from me. Nervousness bubbles in my stomach so strongly it's as though I've never seen a boy before.

What is he doing here?!

"You..." I begin to say before trailing off, suddenly realising that this is the first word I've said to him since the afternoon I'd told him I didn't want to be friends anymore.

A familiar ache begins resonating in my chest.

Levi doesn't reply. He now appears impassive, as if also remembering the situation between us. The change in expression is so quick it's like someone's just cast a shadow over his face. He folds his arms and inspects me for a moment, studying my eyes before the rest of my face. His scrutinising stare has goose bumps rising all over my skin and makes me lower my gaze, unable to look him in the eye anymore.

Why is it that of all emotions, regret feels so heavy? It sits at the bottom of my chest, as dull and dense as rock and refuses to budge as I stand there awkwardly.

For the first few days after I tried to give back the Santa hat, Levi didn't think anything had changed between us. But I made it change. To the point at which I think I've ruined everything.

I barely even see him now, even though I have him in half my classes. Seeing him now, standing before me with his familiar tousled hair and tall stature makes me notice how empty things have been without him.

Without saying anything more, Levi turns around and walks down the corridor, leaving me staring red-faced after him. I can now hear the sound of buzzing chatter of people in the living room that's floating down the hallway. It's full of laughter and is loud, alerting me that Oliver and Imogen certainly aren't the only other ones here.

Then it hits me. This is Imogen's plan. She bloody said so herself!

The initial shock gives way to anger. Oh, I am going to kill her.

I march into the hallway, slamming the door behind me. The talk in the living room comes to a stop. Breathing quickly, I try to calm myself, focusing on the task of taking off my jacket and hanging it up and not on my sudden urge to strangle my friend. She knows that something's up with Levi and I yet she invites him here?

Imogen walks out the door to the living room; I notice how her red lipstick's not looking as immaculate as usual. This confirms that Max is here.

"Ruby, you made it," she says, and instantly I notice how she appears a little nervous.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" I hiss. It takes a lot of effort to keep my voice low. "You- you set me up!"

"How?" Imogen replies, trying to look innocent. "I said you needed a break and that I had something planned- where's the setting up?"

"Levi fucking Parker's here," I say in a low voice. "That is setting me up."

Imogen stops looking guiltless and swallows. She fiddles with a pink loose thread of her dress. "You know, I'm not doing this to be a prick. This is all for you."

I look at her incredulously. "For me? You've seen how things have been; you know I don't want to talk about him-"

"But why?" Imogen suddenly demands, her voice rising a little. It doesn't matter because the conversation's resumed in the living room again. "What is all this with Levi? You guys don't talk to each other, you don't laugh together- you're behaving like strangers and I haven't got a clue why. What I do know is how depressed you've been because it."

"I've just gone through a break-up, that's why I'm 'depressed," I shoot back defensively.

"No," she replies, shaking her head. "It's not because of Ryan, when we mention his name- sure, you look sad- but whenever I bring up word of Levi your face tells a whole different story."

I grit my teeth. Never did I expect to be bombarded with all these questions, especially like this. I shake my head before looking towards the front door. "I'm leaving."

Imogen looks startled. "No! Don't leave." She no longer appears argumentative but instead apologetic. "I'm sorry, alright, I get you're mad. But honestly, I want to see you happy again."

The remorseful look she gives me appears genuine enough for my shoulders to relax a little as I exhale a long sigh. "You owe me," I say, turning away from the front door. Imogen beams.

"Trust me, it'll be OK," she says before heading into the living room, leaving me to follow behind her.

Upon coming in I see that there aren't actually that many people here and I guess Imogen's only intended for this to be a small get-together. Luke and Natalia are sitting on the floor on a rug whilst I watch Imogen seat herself next to Max on a sofa who's sitting by Levi.

"Rubes!" a familiar voice calls I look toward Oliver who's sitting on the sofa opposite the one Imogen's on. He shuffles to the far side of it and pats the free space beside him. "Come sit here."

Relieved and comforted at the idea of having Oliver as my company I walk quickly over.

"You alright?" Oliver asks as he looks at me. "You're all red."

His voiced observation only has me turning even redder.

I dare myself to quickly glance Levi's way and see he's not bothering to make conversation with anyone. He's just sitting there, quiet and moody-looking as he stares down at his phone, typing away at it. I pull a face. Why has he come if he's going to look so miserable about it?

Oliver pokes me in the side and I look back toward him. As discreetly as he can, he nods towards Natalia and Luke. "Honestly," he whispers, "Luke reminds me of you."

"Why?" I ask, watching Luke who's taking part in an animated conversation with Natalia. He appears to be livelier than his usual gloomy self and is laughing far more than he usually does.

Oliver shrugs. "I dunno... it's probably how excited he gets when he's around Nat." I grin, seeing that Oliver's habit of giving nicknames also applies to Natalia. Then I take in what he's said.

"What? Are you suggesting I have a crush on her?" I ask incredulously and Oliver laughs. He shakes his head whilst giving a cryptic smile.

"No, not Natalia," he says, putting on a ridiculous mysterious voice. I'm about to hit him before Imogen announces she's going to get some drinks from the kitchen. I feel the familiar squirm whenever alcohol's mentioned but Oliver gives me a reassuring nudge with his shoulder.

"None of them will care that you're not having any," he murmurs quietly before giving me a broad grin. I nod, feeling the agitated sensation in the pit of my stomach fade as I realise none of the people in this room will particularly care if I opt for lemonade.

After Imogen hands the drinks out, everyone seems to get a little more comfortable. All the nervousness about sipping a glass of fizzy lemonade disappears completely when no one picks up on it and everyone's attention elsewhere from the beverages.

The next couple hours go by surprisingly easily, even with Levi's presence. Well, he's made it kind of easy considering throughout the evening he hasn't bothered to talk much. I, however, start talking to Luke who's keen on talking about the upcoming new Sherlock season. If it weren't for that T.V. show I doubt we'd have much else to talk about.

Eventually though, Natalia gets bored. "Alright, alright so let's talk about something interesting," she says. She's really let herself go ever since she helped herself to a vodka and coke that's eased her normally uptight manner. She's now sat on the middle of a fluffy white rug giggling, with even her brown curly hair looking a lot more bouncy and excited.

"Like what?" Luke asks. He's sitting beside her but not drinking since he's driving himself and Natalia home- the same reason Levi isn't. Luke appears amused by Natalia's cheerier mood as he waits for her answer.

"Well, I don't know," she says, swinging her bottle around. Imogen lets out a squeak, clearly worried for the rug. "How about, uh, first times?"

Oliver chuckles whilst my face flushes. First times? My eyes widen a little at the idea of having this conversation, or having trouble being a part of it seeing as I haven't actually slept with someone and how embarrassing this conversation is. The idea of just diving into a conversation about sex doesn't seem so fun.

Oliver notices my change in mood and laughs. "Ah, look at Rubes getting all uncomfortable," he jokes, grinning more widely when I send a scowl his way.

"How come?" Max asks. I feel the warmth of my cheeks flare as everyone looks towards me.

I open my mouth whilst still calculating a response. "Because, because-"

"You haven't done it yet?" Luke bluntly asks. Subtly will never be one of his qualities.

I feel myself turning even redder and I don't know whether to start getting defensive or run for it. I'm not embarrassed about the fact that I haven't 'done it' but voicing that fact in front of all the guys is no way an easy task.

It doesn't matter, since my silence serves as Luke's answer. Thankfully, there's no laughing- only Oliver chuckling childishly and Natalia shrugging. I'm about to move on from the situation when I catch Levi smirking as he continues to stare at his phone. His eyes are glinting with amusement and for the second time that evening, I feel like hitting someone.

"How'd I guess?" he mutters quietly underneath his breath and I feel my blood boil. I'm about to yell at him before I'm promptly reminded of the fact that I'm not meant to be speaking to him.

"Who wants to go first?" Oliver asks, thankfully distracting me from the idiot. There's a beat of silence before Natalia shrugs.

"I could," she says. She doesn't get the opportunity to do so, however, because then Luke gives a loud noise of shock as he stares at her, aghast.

"What- you've, you've done it with someone?" he gasps, his jaw falling open. "When? With who?"

Natalia doesn't seem to notice his shocked state, either because she's drunk or she genuinely doesn't think anything's wrong. "Well, remember that guy, er... Leon Miller? He's that blonde one from the school's football team. We went out a little last year."

We all recognise who Natalia's talking about, Leon's in our year. When Luke twigs who he is he stops looking so surprised and instead surly and silent. He suddenly gets up and glances towards Imogen.

"You got any Coke or something?"

She nods in response and we watch Luke stalk off to the kitchen, muttering thanks quietly.

I don't know whether to smile or feel sad, Luke's crush on Natalia has gotten as clear as day recently but, still, she seems to be none the wiser. She simply shrugs, probably dismissing Luke's sudden change of mood as his usual temperamental, moody nature.

Everyone looks at each other awkwardly as we hear loud banging come from the kitchen, probably the sound of Luke angrily closing the fridge door and venting his anger. I glance towards Natalia once more, now a little surprised that she can't have twigged onto the fact he's mad by now.

She's staring distantly ahead, like she's thinking hard about something.

Luke comes striding back into the living room but he doesn't have a drink in his hand, instead he storms into the hallway before coming back in, with his coat on. "I need to leave now," he says, and I notice how his voice sounds a little thick. I feel a pang of sympathy for the poor guy.

"Now?" Natalia asks, getting up. When Luke doesn't respond she blinks before turning to us, looking both confused and annoyed. "Well, bye, I guess." We all reply bye back and watch her follow after Luke. When the front door closes Oliver lets out a low whistle.

"I wouldn't want to be her in that car ride home," he comments.

It's quiet with Luke and Natalia's sudden absence so Imogen puts on some music and sits in the corner, giggling and chatting quietly to Max. Oliver abandons me to go and talk to Levi, much to my dissent.

Levi seems to like Oliver's company and for the first time this night I see him actually take part in a conversation.

I sit alone on the opposite sofa, pretending to be on my phone but secretly watching their conversation as subtly as I can. Oliver says something that makes Levi laugh and I'm wonder at the immediate warmth that floods through me at the sound of it.

It's insane that you can be in awe of the way someone laughs. I shouldn't be so captivated with the way Levi's eyes crinkle as he smiles, with how his face looks so much brighter or with the way he gives a slight shake of his head as laughter rumbles through him- as if he's reprimanding the gorgeous sound leaving his mouth.

I look away when he stops laughing, scared I'll be caught. There's no denying that Imogen's right. The both of us have been different ever since I managed to brilliantly fuck things up. I guess I'd convinced myself that everything would sort itself out if whatever we had was over. I was wrong.

Another half-hour goes by, but now time travels much more slowly, but not in a boring way. The minutes tick by in a leisurely manner and I find myself sinking into the cushions of the sofa, content with listening to Paloma Faith's deep, dreamy voice that floats from the music player Imogen's turned on.

Then things start to go wrong.

Oliver gets up, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've got to head off," he says before strolling over to me and giving me a winding hug. "I'll see you at school, Rubes," he says just as I feel panic rise up within me.

"What? You're leaving?" I ask as he breaks away from me and straightens. "But, I'll be all alone." I know I was alone just now but that was fine, Levi was with Oliver. But now it'll just be me and him with Imogen and Max playing tonsil tennis in the background.

Oliver nods, yawning slightly. "Yeah, I've got to finish some Art homework and I'm already pretty out of it."

I glance towards Levi; he's back on his phone listening to music. Nope, there's no way I'll be able to stay here with him here.

I turn to Oliver. "Can I go with-"

"See you later, Rubes," Oliver says, giving me a last hug and sauntering outside the living room. I stare after him, a little insulted that he'd cut me off like that.

Listening to Oliver shut the door only kindles the panic I'm feeling. Trying to add some rationality to my thoughts, I think about how bad this could really be. At best, Levi could just ignore me, or even leave. At worst, well I could be in for some hell- which I really don't feel like enduring, no matter how slim the chances are.

I get up too, picking my bag up from the sofa. "Er, you know what Imogen? I think I might head off -" my voice trails off when I realise I can't find either her or Max. Quickly hurrying out the room, I set out to find her. I don't have to go very far.

Imogen and Max are in the hallway, shrugging on their coats. What on earth?