Hey I got straight A's

Hey, Hey I won SGA president

Hey,Hey, Hey I'm performing this weekend

Hey I got that scholarship from TSU

Hey I got that acceptance letter from Hampton too

*chuckle*

But you don't care

I am so sick and tired of acting like this is normal

I'm done with feeling isolated as my friends go on and on about their grandmother's love

And I'm sitting there wishing this woman would just give me a hug

Even though I'm 19, I still feel like that same 9 year old still healing the same old wounds of that little girl that still lives inside

Rebuilding the self esteem because I remember when I was on the hefty side and being afraid to walk up the steps of your house

Being afraid that I would experience another tongue lashing that did more damage that any belt ever could

I mean I was I child what was I supposed to do

Even if I did everyone would say I was rude and disrespectful and maybe that's true

Because I've heard it enough times I thought it was a synonym for my identity so that any time someone calls me sweet I act as if they're the ones who insulted me

And I know you're thinking there must be a missing piece to this story

Well unfortunately it's not...

I can only count on my hands how many times I've been granted the pleasure of her warm embrace.

How many times I've reached out my arms

Waiting for you to close the deal but it didn't occur

I now say I don't do hugs because I'm afraid that someone else would have me relive that pain I've put away stored next to silent tears and whispered prayers.

And my mom would say you're the matriarch of the family and I don't know what that means because you weren't there when I needed you

When my business got blasted all over the news

When I sat up in that courtroom only two people's blood was equal to mine

But I'm supposed to believe that blood is thicker than water who told y'all that lie

But I wish it was my truth I wish I could depend on you

I wish that you could say I love you without Facebook knowing it too

I wish that you took the time to get to know me

I wish I could stop tip toeing around the issue and listening to everyone say that's just how she is.

I'm breaking that cycle

I will not accept nothing but respect

I mean will you please hug me?