I quietly opened the door, smoothly sliding myself inside. I hope no one is gonna yell at me later for waking them up or something. I took off my shoes and jacket, soon after quickly walking up the stairs and finding myself in my room again.

My nap yesterday lasted almost as long as the flight here, and I absolutely couldn't fall asleep later. My whole biological clock has turned upside down, and after just mindlessly listening to music I decided to go and see the sunrise, like good old times. I took my skateboard with me.

Long story short, I thought about everything that happened recently. Me and Johnny, Alex, Maxine, my work, writing, just everything. I liked to think, but only if my thoughts weren't disturbed by any anxiety. That's why I decided to watch the sunrise while doing so. Then anxiety could fall on it's stupid face and let me go.

Now I'm back and it's currently about 6 am and the house is quiet as ever. Honestly, I didn't mind it being filled with all the chit-chatting either. I really like when I'm with a group of people who take things easy and joke around. That was the atmosphere of the house right now, and I felt great. I think that everybody sort of grew up and minded their own business instead of being problematic. I didn't have to loose the vibe over small fights and it was the most important.

Yesterday's evening we gathered in the living room again, catching up. It was indeed like a family meeting, remembering old times and even laughing around. It was so different from what I used to experience and finally, finally I thought something have changed.

But of course, I haven't yet been on our little dinner later in the day, but that's in the evening. Now let's focus on the current conversation I was having with Johnny this morning.

As soon as I sat on my bed I got on my phone since I felt it vibrating earlier, and who knows, maybe it's something important?

My heart dropped for a second, as first to my mind came the bad scenarios. It was only 9 am in New York right now, and I wondered if Johnny went to bed early and woke up at a reasonable hour or haven't even gone to sleep yet.

My thumbs fidgeted together as I held the phone in my hands. The text sounded so serious, but I couldn't really think of anything. We, indeed, talked yesterday after my nap, but not for long since I only told him how I feel here, as promised. Most of the evening I spent with my family.

Wow, it sounds so.. I don't know, earlier in my life I wouldn't spend a second to hang out with them, and now look at me.

He read the message and I saw the bubbles moving.

I raised my brows in surprise, but still waited for him to explain further.

I almost bursted out laughing at the emoji but contained myself as I knew people were sleeping. Instead, I sat with my mouth open in half-smile and raised brows. I swear, this man is the most unique and unusual person I've ever met. And I mean it. You'd literally start your day with him telling you he identifies as an Oompa-Loompa and then he casually goes on with his life. Amazing.

After grinning like an idiot and few escaped giggles I realized I have to text something back.

Like I said, casually goes on with his life.

As we texted, I suddenly heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I softly said and the door opened to reveal Arabella in her pajamas.

"Hi," she greeted me and closed the door behind her.

"Hey," I replied, motioning her to sit on the bed. "What are you doing here this early?"

"I heard someone entering the house and then the door to your room opening," This house has completely thin walls, so no surprise she could hear it. "I couldn't sleep. Can I stay a bit?" she asked, uncertainty written all over her face.

"Of course you can. I was just about to go and make some breakfast."

She agreed happily that she would also like to eat something, and I said that we can go right away, but I just have to text goodbyes to someone.

As I finally put my phone in my back pants pocket and was all ready to go, I noticed the mysterious smile on Arabella's face.

"What?"

"Why were you grinning so much while texting this someone?" she asked curiously, almost eating me up with her gaze.

"I wasn't grinning," I denied.

"Yes, you were." she argued. "Like a monkey." she added, showing how wide the grin was, going all the way up from her lips to her ears with her fingers.

I rolled my eyes with a smile, but she still didn't let go. At least we know from who she's got the stubbornness.

"Was it someone you like like?" she wriggled her eyebrows up and down, grinning in a cheesy way.

"Nope," I tried to shake it off but after some time I realized it's going nowhere. "Alright, it was a friend of mine. His name is Johnny."

"And you.. like like him?" she asked again, her look completely innocent.

"What? No! He is just a friend. Best friend, that's all." I quickly replied but she still seemed unconvinced.

"Can I at least see a photo of him?" she questioned with these little, blue puppy eyes.

"Who raised you to be this curious?" I frowned but pulled out my phone anyway.

I showed her a photo I once took to make fun of Johnny's hair, where only one strand would stand upright.

She really gave it a look and I saw the gleam in her eyes. I chuckled and she woke up from her somewhat trance, and soon after frowned.

"He's got these looks and you two are just friends?" she asked like it was something bizarre, exchanging glances between me and the photo.

"What- That's-" she giggled as she watched me get speechless. "You know what? I'm gonna send you on a hippie camp to fix your.. attitude or something."

"Oh, come on. I was just joking." she said with a smile, playfully hitting my arm. "Though I wouldn't mind meditating and listening to John Lennon all day."

"Then I'm gonna sell you to gypsies." I replied, standing up from the bed and walking towards the door. Arabella wasn't too far behind.

"Great, I always wanted to see Peaky Blinders from up-close." she quickly countered.

"Aren't you a little too young to watch this series?"

"I read somewhere that age is just a number." she said as we were walking down the stairs.

"Oh, really?"

I was so curious of her and how she's like, but now I'm only and completely proud. She's so smart and it's very kinda comfortable to talk with her.

As we talked, I remembered something.

"Oh, Johnny says hi." I told him about Arabella and the first thing he replied was to say hi from him.

"Tell him that I say hi too." she smiled softly as we entered the kitchen.

It turned out she looked at him this long because she knew she's seen him somewhere already, but couldn't really put a finger on it. When she found out it's Johnny Depp, well, let's limit it to just saying she has almost collapsed on the floor right there and then. I reassured her that I'll try to arrange a time when she could meet him in person. And then she, literally, laid on the floor and pretended to be dead with her tongue sticking out and eyes closed.

Arabella stated, actually very excitedly, that she loves Pirates of the Caribbean, she's just not really interested in actors playing there. She let out a few gasps more about me being friends with Captain Jack Sparrow, and then we went outside, to the garden, to eat our cereal. It was actually a pretty and warm day, so the whole vibe to sit and eat there was present.

"So," I started. "Has any boy or girl caught your eye yet?" I winked and she rolled her eyes. I promised to myself long ago I'll be that aunt.

"Not really," she replied. "I'm waiting for someone special."

"What do you mean by special?"I asked and continued to eat. I mostly knew what she was about, but I wanted to see it from her perspective.

She thought while mindlessly messing with the milk in her bowl. She finally raised her head, smile playing on her lips. "I feel like it's someone who will make me laugh until I turn blue, is not too serious- god, I can't stand serious people." she said and I mentally wiped the tiny proud tear in the corner of my eye. I loved how similar we were. "They will just exist and let you know how wise they are and openly wonder when you will be as serious as them-"

"Did your grandma tell you that?" I asked and she furrowed her brows.

"How did you know?"

"She's my mom, duh, I went through the same thing. Don't worry, she will let go eventually." I told her and she breathed the sigh of relief.

"Going back to the topic, uh, also someone who will care for me with all their heart, ask if I ate today and how I've slept, these kinda things." she continued, dreamily looking around at the sky and trees. Her blue eyes were almost glowing.

She talked about it with so much passion, I have no doubt she will know when someone is good for her. I definitely agree with her here.

"At last, I think just someone who will love me and make me feel safe." she turned her head towards me, watching my expression.

"You've read some romance books, haven't you?" I finally asked, and she looked at me with a 'why are you even asking?' look.

"Of course I did. They are the best!" she replied enthusiastically.

"Yess! I've read like hundreds of 'em myself." I agreed and proceeded to take a piece from my cigarette box. I quickly lit it and inhaled the pleasurable nicotine, smoke covering my surroundings.

I stole a look at Arabella and she literally looked at the cigarette mesmerized, like she has never seen it before. I glanced at her questioningly.

"Can I.. you know.. try?" she asked uncertainly.

"You've never tried a cigarette before?"

She shook her head and I thought for a while, soon after quickly checking if no one is around and turning towards her again. My first reaction would be, and was in my mind, no, but I remembered Lexy, Luke's fiancee treating me with my first cigarette when I was exactly Arabella's age. I was always somewhat closer with Luke and Lexy than Peter, since he was playing all adult and there was nothing to talk about with him really.

Anyway, it's not like she will suddenly get addicted and I also understand her curiosity. I explained to her how to take a hit and handed her the cigarette. I saw the excitement in her eyes when she looked all over it.

Coughing slightly, as you do, she gave me the cigarette back. She shot me a reassuring smile and a nod, saying she liked it.

"Now go wash your hands thoroughly and brush your teeth. If someone's asking about the smell, just say you were with me."

--> few hours later

I put one more ring on my finger and checked my outfit in the mirror one last time. I was just heading for the big family dinner outside. Actually, the last one for me since I have to be back in NY by tomorrow evening, so I need to leave in the morning. Elsie tried to handle most of the business, but to some stuff she still needs me. I've got a few projects left, and I wanted to finish them all before I start working on the movie. Just kinda to be able to fully focus on it.

I tucked my wavy bangs behind my ears and sighed happily. I was so proud of the outfit I had today. I wore white sneakers and the same colored Nike socks that reached above my ankle. Next we have light blue, baggy jeans with a navy blue, old Nike jumper kinda tucked into the jeans, but not completely. There was my favorite, silver alien necklace and the Gonzo Fist one hanging from my neck.

Thanks to Johnny I got to know more about the work Hunter S. Thompson did. I loved the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas book, and so I read all about gonzo journalism and got loots of informations from Johnny himself. You could tell how close these two were just from the way he was talking about Hunter. I decided to honor him by wearing the signature Gonzo Fist necklace, and Johnny helped me get one since it's not the thing you can buy in every store.

The dinner was planned on 6 pm, so I still had about 7 minutes left. I thought I could go downstairs and help a little to prepare all of it.

And that's exactly what I did, however as I noticed how others were dressed I felt kinda out of place. My mom even wore a dress and Selena had some fancy make up on. I didn't have any of these, but I don't think anyone paid attention since it was crowded in the kitchen from people bringing food outside. Even the toddlers had something fancy on, goddamn.

As we finally sat down, I admired how pretty the table looked. Everyone had their plates and cutlery formed perfectly, there were some candles lit since it was becoming kinda dark and the half-moon already shone in it's full glory. The food was in the middle, looking delicious as ever.

I sat at one of the two ends. On my left sat Arabella and on the other side my mom. Next to her sat my dad, Peter with Selena and the kiddies, and Lexy with Luke who closed the circle.

We simply talked while eating, and after the dinner we stayed outside since it was pleasurably warm. The mood was right, and I thought that the cherry on top of it would be a nice meeting with nicotine. My parents did smoke when they were young, but stopped at some point and now they only had a 'I despise you' look written over their faces when they saw someone smoking.

Although I'm afraid I'll be the only one getting this look tonight. I took a step back with my chair as I didn't want people present here to be disturbed by the 'awful' smell of it. I opened the cigarette case as the guys were consumed by conversations. I noticed I have the only two cigarettes left, and they are from Johnny. He gave me them so "I could think of him" while I'm away. I smiled and shook my head slowly, what a cheesy bastard.

But I frowned when I took out one of them. There was a little piece of paper folded at the bottom, and I only saw it now as it got exposed. I put the brown cigarette between my lips and picked the thing with my two fingers. I carefully unfolded it.

J'espère que cela améliorera votre humeur, mais ne fume pas trop sinon je vais te retrouve.

N'oublie pas de penser à moi. X

Sweet lord. My cheeks hurt from how much I'm smiling. It's Johnny's handwriting and it basically means:

I hope these will improve your mood,

but don't smoke too much or I'll find you.

Don't forget to think of me. X

Or something like that. I knew he was planning something when he volunteered to fill up my cigarette case.

"What's wrong?" Arabella suddenly asked and I raised my head to look at her. "You're blushing like crazy!" she whisper-yelled.

"Nonsense," I mumbled, hiding the piece of paper into this tiny pocket you have just above your normal pocket in the front of your jeans.

She followed my hand with her gaze and then looked at me again, this time knowingly. I rolled my eyes while she still smiled, but now minding her own business.

I looked around the table to maybe treat someone with the last cigarette, just out of politeness. My parents - definitely not. Peter - god bless this pure soul as he never ever smoked and that's why our parents liked him so much. I skipped the kiddies and my sight landed on Lexy. She used to smoke, but I don't know now.

We made eye contact and I raised my brows as a question, showing the cig. She thought for a while before giving me a 'yeah sure, whatever' expression but in a kind way, and nodding.

She has my respect eternally, because she was the one who helped me a lot with my mental health when I was younger. You see, back then I thought I'm a weirdo or just seeking some sort of attention, but she showed me that's not true and I couldn't be more grateful for her. She herself had a past full of unpleasant stuff, yet she still managed to be the coolest person I know.

I handed her the cigarette and pulled out the lighter. She bowed and I firstly wanted to light her's, but it suddenly stopped working. It was fine this morning!

I quietly damned god as I looked for other ways to light it. An idea popped into my mind.

I took out one of the long, white candles from the candlestick and lit Lexy's cigarette with its fire, soon after also mine. I put it back down and leaned back in the chair, taking an inhale. I looked to my right to see, who would've guessed, my mom's famous look. Smoke escaped my nose as I grinned. Maybe they played serious, but to me it was hilarious.

"I thought you will be smart enough not to smoke these. What even is it? It doesn't look like a normal cigarette." she spoke as everyone listened to the conversation.

Oh shit, here we go again.

"It is a cigarette, just a home-made one." I replied.

"You weren't smoking before you met this guy, what was his name?" she furrowed her brows as she thought.

"Johnny." I helped, taking another hit.

Suddenly, Selena spoke up. I liked her, she wasn't mean, more like very curious. "Right, go ahead and tell us. He is your boyfriend, correct?"

I opened my mouth to deny, but my mother was first. "Boyfriend?" she chuckled mockingly. "He's an old man, why would she date him?"

"How exactly old is he?" My dad asked, looking not at me but at my mom.

"I don't know, around 60, I think?"

My dad's expression jumped with surprise, telling me he definitely agrees with mom.

My heart rate has increased, but outside I kept calm. You see, it wasn't anything big, but it was indescribably pissing me off. Now imagine how they didn't give a shit about what I had to say through my whole teenage being. I think they still don't.

"He's not my boyfriend, if someone even cares a bit of what I have to say. We're friends." I said.

"Great. Now tell us," Peter started. Why they have to ask me about everything? "Are you planning to get married someday? I did when I was your age." he said.

I could feel the atmosphere tensing, but I had to stay calm.

Like always.

"I don't wanna get married. I-" I got interrupted by him again.

"So you wanna end up lonely?"