I've never been a traditional kinda guy. Never have I dreamed about my wedding, never planned how I wanted certain things. I always assumed I would get married, but I also assumed it'd be to a woman and she'd want to plan everything, so I didn't bother thinking about what I might want because it was her day, not mine, even though I would've been the husband.

Such a weird way to think, looking back on it. I've been talking to Ryder about things like that a lot, reconstructive heteronormative thinking and gender roles.

Things like: "I'm a man so I won't be emotional during my wedding." Why wouldn't I be? I'm marrying the love of my life. Just thinking about facing him and saying those two special words, seeing his face when I give him his ring, the thought of it alone is enough to make me tear up from joy.

I always assumed a wedding would just happen to me because that would be what my girlfriend wanted. I wouldn't be an active part in it.

But even in that context, it doesn't make any sense. What if I'd gotten with a girl who didn't want a wedding? What would I have done then? Because I want one. But I'm the man, I don't get to want emotional lovey shit like that. I'm supposed to dread the 'ball and chain' and go out with strippers the night before for my 'last hurrah'.

All that sounds fucking disgusting to me. Charlie isn't a ball and chain, he's who I want, forever. And why would I want to ever be with anyone but him the night before our wedding? I want him as close to me as possible, to feel the excitement and joy with him.

That's why we had our bachelor party together. We have the same friends anyway: Xander, Ryder, Toby, Carmen, Scout, and MJ. It was small, but really nice. Though, Carm did get blackout drunk and crashed on our couch. Scout's tonic this morning woke her right back up, though.

I also might've stripped into my purple lingerie, but nobody can prove it.

Charlie certainly put on a show.

A knock on the door shakes me out of my memories. I'm currently changing into my suit with Ry at the King's estate. It was the best place we could think of to have our wedding, so I was given a guest room as my changing room while Charlie took his bedroom.

I know it's tradition for us not to see each other before the wedding, but I nerfed that idea immediately, telling Charlie he can come see me whenever he wants to. Because of his separation anxiety, I don't want him to feel like he's forcefully being kept from me, so instead it's his choice when or if he sees me. I want to see him desperately but Ryder is taking extra long getting my tie tied. He's not very good at it but he wanted to do it since dad's not here to.

"Come in," I call and Xander enters with a small box. "You got it?" I start smiling widely.

"Sure do," he responds with a smirk. "How are you feeling?"

"Excited." I admit and Ryder crowds around the box.

"I wanna see."

I take the box from Xander and open it up to show my brother who 'ooo's in awe.

"Can you send in your parents for a sec, Xan? I wanna talk to them."

He nods and sends a glance to Ryder before exiting to do so. It doesn't take but a few minutes for a knock to sound at the door.

"Come in!" I call as Ryder bounces around the room.

Ava is the first one to enter, dressed in a suit like James. She offers me a smile, her curly hair in a half-up do. "Xander said you called for us?"

"Yeah," I gulp. "You both look incredible."

She smooths out the gray fabric. "Thank you. You look amazing too. It's your special day. Are you nervous at all?"

"A little." I admit. "But not much. I know Charlie loves me and that he wants this and we're surrounded by all our friends and family so there's nothing at all to worry about. Even if I fuck up wording or something, Charlie won't mind."

"That is true." James nods. "It's normal to have nerves. I was nervous when I married Ava." He plays with one of her curls fondly.

My smile returns seeing the gesture. I believe wholeheartedly that Charlie and I will be like them when we get older. I'm going to do everything I can to keep the love alive.

"I wanted to tell you about this so it's not a shock." I hold out the box and open it. "I got Charlie's ring made by the same people who made yours. I hope that's okay."

Jame's eyes widen and Ava slowly approaches, her green eyes studying the piece of jewelry.

She looks up at me, her gaze enough to make me shift despite it not being her lawyer gaze. Something about her eyes is intense and it reminds me of her sons, especially Charlie, whose eyes draw you in without him even trying.

"How did you do this?" Ava raises her eyebrows slightly at the question.

"Xander told me." I admit, hoping she's not upset.

"It's beautiful." She smiles before giving James a look, the man's eyes locking on hers in an intense, yet intimate conversation.

He looks up from his wife's gaze before placing his hands in his suit pockets. "It's fitting. Xander really pays attention to detail."

Ryder smiles fondly at the comment. "He does. He remembers every little thing. He's amazing."

I chuckle and ruffle my brother's hair, making him race over to the mirror to fix it.

I close the box. "I wanted him to still feel connected to you all after connecting with me."

Ava looks at the ring on her finger before grabbing Jame's hand. "I like that. He will too. Thank you for telling me. It makes me especially happy."

James chuckles and moves his ring on his finger while continuing to hold Ava's hand. "That makes sense."

I look between them, wishing I had the context of their life together. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She smiles and James nods.

"That's all I wanted to say." I smile, but Ryder whips around.

"No, we need help! James, can you tie Ethan's tie?"

I look down at my feet and blush. "I can figure it out."

"It's been twenty minutes."

I purse my lips. He is right, I just don't like looking incompetent in front of the Kings.

Ava looks at her husband. "I'd do it, but I just got a text saying Charlie is asking for me."

He nods and approaches me. "I know a thing or two about tying ties."

I look up again. "Thanks. And thanks for coming, Ava. Tell him I said I love him and I can't wait to see him."

She smiles. "I'll make sure to do that."

Ryder comes close so he can watch James.

As he works, he narrates, teaching us both how to do the task. He works slowly, but meticulously, so our eyes can follow, but the tie will still look good.

I breathe out a sigh of relief when it's done, the pit in my stomach slowly fading. I really miss my dad. I wish he was here, that he could see this moment, this milestone of my life. He missed everything that was important, teaching me how to drive, graduation, my first girlfriend, getting accepted into college, moving out on my own, and now my wedding. It hurts a lot but I'm glad I at least have James here and my mom has been incredible.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He smiles at me. "You're my son now, so it's to be expected."

The word catches me off guard and I find myself starting to tear up. "Thank you, I'll do my best."

James squeezes my shoulders before pulling me in for a hug. "Your best is perfect, Ethan. You're perfect for Charlie."

The damn breaks and I hold onto him tightly, tears spilling and mumbling thanks. Ryder joins the hug too and eventually I calm down and let them go. I needed that. To hear him say I'm good and good enough for his son.

"I'm going to go see Char, but if you need either of us again, just call." James smiles and gives Ryder a look as well so he knows the invitation is extended to him too.

Ryder smiles and I nod. "I will."

"Good." He fixes his cuffs, checking his watch. "Your other family members seem to be restless, if you want to talk to them."

"That's the plan, now that I'm dressed." I chuckle.

He nods and raises a hand in farewell before making his exit.

"He's so cool." Ryder mumbles and I just shake my head.

"He has that effect."

"I don't want his dick, Ethan."

"Neither do I!" I whirl on him. "Motherfucker, it's my wedding day, don't start shit!"

"But I'm such a cute shit starter!" Ryder whines and evades my advances before running out of the room giggling. I smile once he's gone and chuckle at his antics, going out to find my mom, noticing that Ry has perched himself on Xander's back for protection. Little shit.

I find mom and Kaz in the living room, Kaz fussing with her dress.

"You know, you're allowed to wear a suit, kiddo. This isn't exactly a wedding where gender roles matter." I tell her.

Mom chuckles and Kaz huffs. "I couldn't find one that fit and getting one fitted is too expensive, shithead. This is fine, I at least got to pick it out myself."

"Awww, baby's finally picking out her own clothes!"

She throws a pillow at me. "Go fuck yourself, Ethan!"

"Jesus, Kaisley." Mom marvels at her language.

I dodge the attack and just laugh. "You do look nice, though. For real."

"Charlie said I was the prettiest girl here." Kaz brags.

"I agree." I smile, but she shakes her head.

"You haven't seen Carmen yet."

"How are you feeling, Ethan?" Mom asks and I take a seat.

"I miss Dad, but I'm feeling really happy. I'm excited to finally do what we've wanted to do for so long. I'm excited to see Charlie wearing his ring, saying our vows, everything. I feel like crying. I'm so happy." I admit and my mom hugs me tightly.

"Oh, Ethan. My baby boy. I'm so happy for you. You deserve this. I never expected when I became a mother that I'd end up raising you all on my own, but I'd never trade any of you for an easier life. I'd do anything for you three. I love you so much, Ethan. My first born." She smiles sadly and sincerely and I hold her hand.

"Thank you, Mom. I'm so lucky that I had you to lean on, thank you so much for always being there for us. You're incredible."

She pets my hair and even Kaz looks touched. After a moment of silence, Ry enters with Xander.

"You ready Ethan?"

I smile. "More than anything."

We all get up and make our way outside, Ryder giving me one last once over. All our friends are taking their seats. The empty seat beside Carmen and Scout makes my heart hurt for a moment but I push the feelings aside. Tony hurt Charlie. He doesn't fucking deserve to be here, even if he apologized.

I go to stand in my place at the end of the isles. There's two paths, one for me and one for Charlie and we'll join in the middle. I hand Ryder the ring and he holds it gently as if afraid to break it. He runs off to meet up with Xander before taking his place as ring bearer and best man.

Charlie's eyes meet mine despite our distance and he smiles, his hair in its natural state and his dangly earrings swaying. He's dressed in a dark purple suit, contrasting prettily with his tan skin.

He's breathtaking. Literally, my breathing comes to a halt when I look at him. My Charlie. My husband. I get to look at him for the rest of my life. It'll never get old. I could stare at him for hours just admiring his beauty. Charlie is the handsomest man I've ever seen and by some miracle he ended up falling in love with me.

I'm the luckiest emo cowboy alive.

With a giggle, he blows me a kiss before preparing to make the walk to meet me.

The music starts up and we walk, me never taking my eyes off of him for even a second. I'm lucky I didn't trip over something or fall into someone's lap.

When we reach the altar, Charlie is glowing, hazel eyes locked on mine as he reaches out to grab both of my hands, waiting for us to begin the formalities. While we wait for the crowd to take pictures and silence themselves, Charlie winks at me and mouths: "You're really pretty, Eetan."

I squeeze his hands, hypothetically drooling, and mouth back: "So do you, handsome. Absolutely astonishing."

He blushes and bites his lip before mouthing a quiet "thank you" and looking to the person leading the service.

I work hard to listen, but every move Charlie makes draws my attention back to him. I just want to hold him, look at him, kiss him, but it's not time for that quite yet. I do notice that my mom's already tearing up, Kaz handing her tissues.

Charlie is hyper-focused on what is going on, doing exactly what the person says, his face dusted a faint rose gold as he does so.

I repeat my vows right after him, staring into his eyes the entire time to drive it home. I mean every word. I'll be there for him through everything and anything life throws at us. I'm his.

The blond's breath hitches once it is time for the rings and his pretty fingers reach out to grab the one for me before he looks shyly into my eyes.

I look at it and give him the correct hand. "I love it, baby."

He smiles, slipping the silver ring of braided metal onto my finger, the jewelry masculine, but still pretty. And from the look and feel of it, it is sturdy enough for me to wear without having to worry about it breaking.

Smiling, I hold out my hand to Ryder and he places Charlie's ring into it. I hold it out to him. "This ring was custom made for you by the same people who made your parents rings. This isn't like the olden days, you aren't being given to me by your parents, I want you to know you're just as connected to your family as you are to me."

His eyes widen and he leans closer, only for the person leading the service to chuckle.

"I didn't say you can kiss the groom yet."

Charlie blushes and the crowd giggles, moved by the man's eagerness.

I blush too and carefully slide the ring onto Charlie's finger before lacing our ringed hands together. "They're perfect."

He smiles. "I think so too. I love it, Ethan. I love you."

My heart swells with joy at the praise, the knowledge that he loves it just like I thought he would. I didn't fuck it up.

"I love you too, so much." I reply, eyes shining with adoration and honesty.

The person smiles and looks between us. "Are you ready?"

Charlie bounces. "I am."

"Then you may kiss the groom."

My hands instinctively move, one to Charlie's neck and the other to his waist as I pull him close and kiss him, pouring all of my emotions into it. I want him to physically feel how much I love him and how happy I am right now.

He kisses back, hands tangling in my hair as he tries his best not to escalate it too much since we have quite the audience. When we break away, he rests his forehead against mine, hazel eyes locked on mine as he giggles.

"You're stuck with me now."

"I wouldn't want it any other way, cupcake." I smirk, using the first nickname I ever used for him.

The crowd cheers.

With a grin, he hugs me tightly. "Neither would I, Superstar."

I squeeze him close and run my fingers through his hair as the person pronounces us husbands.

"I'm so happy," Charlie whispers, gripping tightly as our loved ones share this moment with us.

"Me too." I reply. "The happiest I've ever been."

-

I'm exhausted when it's finally time to go home after the dinner and party. I can't lie, I did cry dancing with my mom and I also cried watching Charlie dance with his parents. Maybe I even teared up seeing Ry all suited up, looking how he's always wanted to look, and smiling radiantly at my new brother in law.

I didn't know joy like this existed.

"We're home, baby." I whisper, picking Charlie up out of the car. "And no, you can't stop me from carrying you all the way to the threshold."

He giggles, looking up into my eyes, makeup still in good condition despite the crying on his part too. "I know there's no stopping you. You're pretty stubborn. I should know, I am your husband."

My heart flutters and I press my forehead to his in the elevator. "My husband." I repeat, in awe. "God, I love you so much."

Charlie cups my cheek and closes his eyes. "I love you too, Superstar."

"I can't believe that just a few months ago we wouldn't have even been able to legally marry." I sigh. "It's good to see progress, even slow progress."

With a hum, he nods. "We would've found a way. But it is nice to do it at home. Though, I do want to take you on a honeymoon."

"I would absolutely adore that." I smile and unlock our door, swinging it open and walking Charlie through before kissing him lovingly. "Welcome home, husband."

His eyes look around. "It's good to be home."

"It sure is." I kiss down his chin, then back up his neck until I reach his ear. "I'm so happy, baby."

He grips me tighter, shivering slightly. "Me too. You make me so happy, Ethan."

I smile. "You make me happy too. This is all I ever wanted." I walk us to his room. "I've always felt lost in the world, not really having a direction to take my life in, but right now I genuinely feel completely content." I set him down and sit next to him, taking his hands. "This is where I'm meant to be."

Charlie squeezes my hands before planting gentle kisses to them. "I'm glad we found our way to each other."

"Me too. Even if it wasn't the easiest route." I agree, rubbing my thumbs over his skin.

"At least we know we can overcome obstacles." He chuckles, earrings dangling.

"Yep." I peck his lips. "And I get a new brother and a new dad!"

He rolls his eyes playfully. "That is true. I also get new family members." Charlie looks into my eyes. "And your name."

I press my palm to his chest. "Charlie Dechart."

"Charlie Dechart," he whispers.

"I love you so much." I say for the hundredth time today. "You looked so fucking stunning in your suit, it's literally a miracle I didn't fall over." I giggle.

He leans back on his hands. "I wonder if you'll feel the same about what I have underneath."

I smirk, licking my lips. "I'm pretty sure I'll feel even more about that."

"Is that so?" He cocks his head to the side coyly.

Turning onto my hands and knees, I crawl over him. "Mhm."

He twirls my tie around his hand. "Good thing I had the foresight to wear something for your eyes only underneath."

Said eyes widen a fraction, my body humming with excitement, mind buzzing with ideas. "Really?"

"Mhm. Guess what color it is."

"Purple?" I cock my head.

"Babe, it's for you." He chuckles.

I crowd closer. "Black?"

"Mm." He shifts and I can see a dark outline underneath his white dress shirt. "I seem to have forgotten. I may need someone to jog my memory."

I bring my lips to his, drawing everything out to be as sensual as possible. "I'm sure I can help you with that, Mr. Dechart." I purr.

He bites his lip. "I'd appreciate the help, Superstar."

Carefully, I begin untying his tie. "I just learned how to do this." I giggle, slightly proud, slightly embarrassed.

"You're so cute." He walks his fingers up and down my arms. "Is it your first time with a man, Mr. Dechart?"

Well that's new.

I swallow and set the tie down, taking my jacket off next along with my cufflinks. "With a man like you, that's for sure."