I wake up by a pain in my cheek that makes me rememmber the terrible night I had. My mum hasn't done anything violent in a while but I guess that she's back to it again. I know what everyone's thinking: Why don't you tell someone? If I do, they will take her away from me and I will live on an orphanage or some shit. I don't want my last small piece of family gone as well, even if she's pure evil. My eyes are still red and puffy from crying and I feel like complete shit. I get up and sit down in front of my mirror. My face looks terrible, like always but even worse. I cringe when I see a big bruise on my cheek where she hit me. There's no way that someone won't see it, so I apply some concealer to cover it up.

I start walking to school without saying goodbye to my mum. I'm fucking scared of her right now. I hope that I get to be alone in school today, i'm not really in the mood to talk to someone after everything. Fuck, I have to work with Billie today again, I hope that she doesn't notice the bruise. If she notices, I honestly have no idea what to do. The best thing to do is maybe to keep a distance so no one can see it, but what if Billie does? She'll probably act like she cares and then just tell everyone about it, like everyone else. I pull my hood over my head before I enter the building, just to show people that I don't want to talk to them. At all.

I walk past a group of people, accidently bumping into someones shoulder.

''Hey, try to watch were you going!'' Karen Wilson snaps. I hate that girl. The worst teacher in the world's daughter, and she's not better than him to be honest. What's wrong with that family?

''Hey, try to shut the fuck up and keep licking your dad's ass!'' I mimic her before continuing my walk to the classroom.

I slide down in my chair, still feeling like shit. Can't this day be over already? A noice makes me turn my head to the left. It's Billie, who sits down by my side.

"Hey", She says, happily but her mood changes when I look at her.

"Hey", I mumble before looking down again.

"Are you okay?" She asks, a bit concerned.

"Yeah, i'm fine", I sigh, giving her a fake smile. She nods, not really believing me. We both just sit down in complete silence. I just play with my fingers nervously and she observes me, like she doesn't know what to say or do . We just sit like that until Billie grabs my hand, leading my out from the classroom. She closes the door behind her and cross her arms, looking into my eyes.

''Ems, tell me what's going on", She says firmly.

''What do you mean?'' I ask, pretendning to have no idea what she was talking about.

''I know that something is going on. You can talk to me", She says and I look away. I hate when this happens.

''I'm fine'", I mumble, looking down at the floor.

''No one who behaves like you do is fine, trust me", She snaps back.

Now I feel how my tears escapes my eyes and I quickly try to brush them away. I don't want her to know about this. I can't let her know. She puts her hand on my arm, definetely seing that i'm in pain. Suddenly my mood shifts.

''Billie, don't", I say and push her arm away. She looks at me confused.

''What?''

''Don't act like you care!'' I snap back.

''What do you mean? I do care, Em!'' she says desperately.

''Please, please just leave me alone. Don't care about me, just go back to your amazing life and sing or whatever. I don't want to ruin you like I always do with everyone!" I'm about to continue when Billie's eyes lock on my cheek and she interrups me.

''Hey, what's that on your cheek?'' She asks, concerned. She takes a step closer and brush her thumb carefully against the skin on my cheek, making me shiver.

Fuck. She knows.

"Ember I-" she starts.

''Just leave me alone!'' I yell before walking away with tears in my eyes. I can hear how Billie is trying to chase me, but she eventually stops after a while. Everything is spinning in head, why does Billie have to care? Or pretend to. I walk home, trying to think about everything that doesn't have anything with Billie to do.

Weakness. Something that shouldn't be a negative word, but many people would consider it as one. I think that weakness can be beautiful if you only show it to people who deserve it. It's like another word for trust. Unfortunately, sometimes you'll show weakness to the people that don't deserve it at all and it will really punish you. That will make you stop showing your weakness to people and be rude instead, just to protect yourself. It's like putting up defenses. Imagines a castle, a hundred years ago. If everyone's nice to the people in the castle, they won't have to build a wall, but if someone shows aggression, they might have to just to keep the city safe. The problem is that a city with defenses will keep everyone out, even the good people. If they break the wall just to let the good people in, and then suddenly it turns out that they were lying and are evil, aggressive people, the castle will loose everything. They have lost.

I close my notebook and lay down in my bed again, staring at the ceiling. How will I explain all this tomorrow? Ava and Liam will wonder why me and Billie left the classroom and Billie... I don't know how she works yet, so I have no idea how to handle this.