《Youth ✿ Paul Lahote [1]》xvii. vulnerability
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"I don't think I have ever been in your house before."
Paul stated this as he walked through the door to Alex's home. Alex was close behind the boy as she shut the door.
"That's a lie," Alex gave the boy beside her a funny look at his mistake. She wanted to smile at the slight brush of their shoulders as the two walked down her hallway. "You have been in my room plenty of times."
Paul rolled his eyes at this retort. His arm came around to tug Alex's tiny frame against him with the pull of her shoulders. "Fine, I haven't been in your house except for in your room. And even then, I sneak through the window."
"Minor details," Alex mumbled at the logistics of the relationship they currently held.
It wasn't that Alex was hiding Paul from her parents—in fact both of them knew about the boy. Due to the horrible timing of all the events recently, the girl hadn't actually had the chance to introduce Paul to her parents. Whenever the two got a free moment together it was usually late at night, or Alex simply wanted Paul to herself. They didn't see each other much, she wanted it to count.
Alex had realised that she could be very selfish when it came to Paul Lahote. And she wasn't exactly sorry about it.
Even tonight, despite the pair hanging out at Alex's place her parents weren't even in. They were out at a work dinner for Alex's father.
But Jordan was home—something that Alex was very grateful for. She didn't want him going back to Ohio, not when the situation with his peers was as bad as Jordan had said. Alex was still trying to work out a plan in which he could stay in La Push—so far she had come up with nothing plausible.
Jordan was allowed to stay back home for another week though, thanks to a glowing review from his Coach in Ohio. But after that he would have to go back, which was something Alex had been avoiding even the thought of.
"What do you want to do tonight?" Alex asked Paul as the two strolled into the living room. Alex plopped down on the sofa and Paul easily slid onto it next to her.
Paul's hand gripped her side and slid her over so that Alex was pushed up against his side. His warmth instantly bled through to Alex, the brunette already snuggled closer to get more of Paul's heat on her. "I could think of a million things."
Alex smirked at the boy before her fingers came to pinch his side. Paul let out a tiny noise of pain. "Jeez, Lex. You were the one that asked."
"I'm about to walk into the room," A voice spoke from the hallway which Paul and Alex had just walked through. Alex knew it was Jordan instantly—not just because he was the only one home, but because it was a voice she could recognize from a mile away. "Stop all fondling and funny business so that I don't have to vomit in my own home."
Alex rolled her eyes at the dramatic nature of her slightly older brother. Paul was chuckling from beside Alex, she could feel the laughter move off him as his body shook underneath where her's sat.
"I wouldn't come in if I was you," Paul managed to speak through his laughter, he gently squeezed Alex's side so that the girl's attention moved back to him. She watched as his smirk grew bigger. "We're both naked."
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"We are not!" Alex's cheeks flamed red at the insinuation. Her instincts made her head dive deeper into Paul's chest, hiding as she knew Jordan would stumble through the door with means for more teasing.
Alex realized quickly how much Paul and Jordan would get on—the two both found teasing Alex to be the most amusing thing in the world.
"You dirty dog, Lexi," Jordan's voice was closer now, yet Alex couldn't see anything from where her head was buried in both the couch and Paul's chest. She felt Paul's chest rumble with laughter again, only adding to the burning feeling that crept up her face. "I leave you alone for two minutes and this is what you get up to."
"She jumps me all the time, I can't get her to stop."
Jordan's laughter echoed through the room at Paul's statement. The pair found amusement in Alex's embarrassment together. Alex would have loved the bonding moment had it not put her on blast—but the sixteen year old had grown used to it rather quickly.
"And I thought you were both annoying on your own," Alex mumbled as she rose her head from where it had been submerged. She flattened her strands of hair down that began to frizz up. The first face she saw upon her reentry to the world was Paul, who smiled down at the girl like she was the only thing he had ever seen. "Together you're unbearable."
"Get used to it," Jordan had come to sit on a separate chair in the living room. His legs easily kicked up to rest on the coffee table. "We're not going anywhere."
Paul nodded along with this. Alex's stomach heated at the insinuation that Paul was going to be around for a long time, it was something that the brunette craved without even knowing it. Now that the boy was in her life, she found it very hard to picture him out of it. "We'll be here to annoy you for a long time, Lex."
Paul moved to place a lingering kiss to Alex's forehead, a kiss that the brunette leaned into easily. Jordan watched the two with a smile on his face—there was nothing that he liked seeing more than his little sister happy. It was all he could wish for.
"What are we even doing tonight, guys?" Jordan had hopped back off of his seat and walked into the kitchen. Alex's head turned to watch him rifle through the refrigerator, his head submerged in search.
"We?" Alex questioned.
Jordan's head popped out of the refrigerator at the confusion lacing his twin's tone. "Yeah, us. I will happily be a third wheel if it means beating boredom."
Alex couldn't even say no to Jordan, she didn't think she ever could. She would let him hang with her whenever if it made him happy—plus his company was always a bonus to her. And then add in that the boy had felt so alone the past few weeks, there was no way Alex was saying no.
"We should have invited over Embry," Alex muttered to Paul now, knowing that a mere whisper from her could be heard with his wolf hearing. "At least then he could be occupied away from us."
"We can't force it, Lex," Paul reminded the girl. She had been advocating to try and set Jordan and Embry up from the get go. The imprint was already there, so Alex just wanted to speed things along. "They'll figure it out eventually. Just give them time—and let them go at their own pace."
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"Their pace at the moment is non-existent," Alex commented as she watched her brother. He had moved from the fridge and was making a sandwich with whatever he could find.
There was no other reason that Alex wanted Embry and Jordan to work besides wanting them both to be happy. They were two of her favorite people, and she knew just how perfect they would be for one another.
And it might give Jordan an ultimatum to stay, instead of going back to Ohio.
Paul cupped Alex's cheek in his palm, causing the girl to look back at her boyfriend. A smile was placed on his face, one of pure admiration. Alex's cheeks heated slightly at the intensity. "I know why you want it to work, but forcing it won't help. They'll be fine without us intervening. Trust me."
Alex was the one that leant in so her lips brushed against Paul's. The girl gently moved her lips against his. It was a kiss that showed that she did trust Paul, and that whatever he said always counted for something with her.
"Okay," Jordan's voice erupted the two as it appeared closer to them. Alex looked up to see he was watching her, with his nose scrunched in slight disgust. "Let's make a no kissing rule—while I'm in the room anyway."
"Leave the room then," Alex suggested, a small smirk resting on her face. Paul's hand squeezed her side playfully at the suggestion.
"That's not what a third wheel does," Jordan had placed himself back in his seat, feet kicked up on the coffee table and sandwich in hand. He watched both Alex and Paul, a tiny sight of amusement glinted in his eyes. "Since you two haven't decided, we're watching a movie. My pick."
Alex let out a groan at this idea. "Why does it get to be your pick?"
"Snooze you lose, Lexi," Jordan paused after he said this and looked at his twin sister more intently. A thought popped into his head that amused him, Alex noted this instantly as his smile only grew bigger into a full on grin. "Or should I say kiss you miss."
Alex easily grabbed a cushion from where it rested behind her. She threw the pillow at Jordan, who ducked so it narrowly missed his head. "Don't be a smart-ass. Just play your stupid movie."
Paul moved so Alex could cuddle closer into his side, his warmth enveloped her again. She didn't mind watching her brother's choice in film if it meant she could do this.
"Gladly. Hope you're in the mood for horror."
Alex could only groan again.
---
"I have never felt more selfish than I do when I'm with you, Lex."
This statement from Paul made Alex move so that she was looking up at him. Her head had been lying on his shirtless chest, an arm draped over his torso. The pair had been lying in Alex's bed for a while now, as it was already in the early hours of the morning.
It was these times that the pair talked about more serious things. Ones that meant a whole lot more than their normal conversations.
"What do you mean?" Alex watched Paul with intensity, wondering how he was selfish in actions with her.
"You've seen what we can do to people," Paul said bitterly. His eyes moved away from Alex now as his jaw clenched.
Alex let out a small breath. "You mean Emily."
Everyone in the pack got reminded about how careful they had to be with their imprints every day. Not just from looking at Emily's fading scars, but also in Sam's thoughts. The alpha had never forgiven himself for losing control with the girl he loved, no matter how many times she told him to.
It was Alex that spoke again in the silence. Her arm tightened around Paul's torso, making the boy look back down at her. "You won't hurt me. I know you won't."
"You think Emily didn't think the same thing about Sam before it happened?" Paul spoke with more force now. He had to look away from Alex again—her delicate face staring at him only made the guilt in his stomach flare up. She was too innocent, she didn't deserve any of what he had dragged her into.
Alex sat up in her bed. The sudden movement caused Paul to look at her from where he lay again, his need to assure she was okay got the better of his guilt. Alex's hand came to rest on his bare chest, palming the skin softly. The look on his face nearly caused the brunette to cry, tears welled behind her eyes. Pure vulnerability shone off Paul's face—all his armor laid aside for Alex to see underneath.
The thought of hurting Alex had really cut him up, she saw that instantly. His anger wasn't something the pair discussed regularly, a conversation here and there was the extent of it. But it was something that bothered Paul a lot more than he had let on.
"I know you won't hurt me," Alex stated confidently. The words seemed lost on Paul however as the boy barely responded. "But if you did, I wouldn't blame you. It wouldn't change anything."
Paul didn't seem to like this answer either. He too moved to sit up in the bed, his hands rubbed over his face in what seemed to be pure agony. "It would change everything, Lex. I couldn't stand to look at myself if I hurt you."
"It wouldn't be your fault, Paul."
"But it would be!" Paul's voice rose slightly in frustration. He looked at Alex now, his voice beginning to plead as he spoke, begging for her to listen. "I'm selfish with you because I brought you into this world. This world of monsters, violence and danger. That's on me. Anything that happens to you because of it is my fault."
"I didn't have to stay," Alex's voice was desperate now as she spoke. The two were just as desperate as each other to share their opinion, to make the other understand where they were coming from. It put them at a cross roads. "When you told me everything, I could have ran for the hills. I could have ignored you and removed myself, but I didn't. That decision is on me."
Paul seemed to still disagree, his head shook in dismissal.
Alex slid on the bed to sit directly in front of Paul. Her hands found both of his, their fingers intertwining. This caused Paul to look at Alex, their dark eyes locked. "Yeah, you're right. There is always a risk being with you. But no matter what happens, it won't make me regret it. Nothing could do that. Because this feeling—the one deep in my chest—is something I never want to go away. I would risk everything for it, I have risked everything for it. And I would do it time and time again—no matter the cost."
Alex let go of one of Paul's hand to cup his cheek in her palm—an action he often found himself doing to Alex, to get the girl's attention fully on him. It was a tactic that Alex stole but one that was just as effective the other way around. "I'm in this—with all the good things, and the bad. You don't scare me, Paul, and I have faith that you won't hurt me. And if you do, we deal with it. Together."
Paul's lips hungrily found Alex's once the words tumbled from her mouth. It was a kiss of passion, one that made Alex's stomach dip. It conveyed everything it needed to as their lips moved against each other. Paul's hand came to tug Alex's body into his lap, her legs straddled on either side of him.
"I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you, Alex Rosita Santiago," Paul whispered against Alex's lips, the words making a grin beam off her face.
Because she was almost positive she was feeling the same thing. Her stomach clenched at the thought—of being so invested in someone. She liked the feeling, the feeling of the fall. So she repeated the same words back to her boyfriend. "I'm pretty sure I'm falling for you too."
And maybe the reassurance wouldn't last forever with Paul—he would probably still feel selfish about being with Alex. And maybe Alex would become scared of Paul's outbursts at some point. But that didn't matter in that moment. All that mattered was them, together.
Alex's lips easily slipped back onto Paul's, her tongue quickly meshing with his. Maybe they weren't in love yet, but they were definitely on the way.
And that would have Alex on a high for at least the next week—or five.
---
Alex was definitely not expecting a call from Sam Uley on a Sunday afternoon.
To be fair, she didn't expect a call from Sam ever.
So when he was the person that showed up as the caller id when Alex's phone started ringing, the brunette knew it was important. She didn't think he would call if it wasn't.
A million scenarios filled Alex's head when she pressed accept as fast as her fingers could. She hoped to God it wasn't about Paul, she couldn't bear the thought of something happening to him. Not now, not ever.
Alex let out a short breath as she answered. She tried to stay calm as she spoke. "Hey, Sam."
"Hey. Paul asked me to call you," Sam started off. His voice was short like usual, but Alex noticed the huffs of breath in between his words—like he was out of breath. A small amount of gratefulness filled Alex at the mention of Paul wanting this call, that had to mean he was alive.
"Harry Clearwater had a heart attack not that long ago while we were chasing Victoria. Paul is over at the Clearwater's place now."
Alex's head spun at that news. She had met Harry and Sue a few times at pack gatherings—the pair had been essential in the makings of the pack and Paul spoke highly of them both. Her heart hurt for Sue and for Harry's kids, for the pain they would be going through. "Oh my god. Is he going to be okay?"
The pause over the line didn't bode well for the answer to come. Alex thought she knew before she even asked. "He's gone, Lexi."
Alex's stomach only sunk more. "Was it because of Victoria? Is that why he had the heart attack in the first place?"
"I think so," Sam answered the girl quickly. "We chased her as far as we could. Hopefully she steers clear for a while. At least until we deal with this."
They could only hope so, but Alex had a funny feeling the vampire didn't care. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Not yet," Sam spoke, although his tone sounded grateful that Alex was ready to help. "Just be careful—stay inside and hang tight. Paul will come over to yours as soon as he can, he will explain everything. For now just lay low, Embry would want Jordan too as well."
"Will do," Alex responded. "If there is anything else I can do, just let me know."
The sound of a door shut over the line and Alex presumed Sam had just arrived at the Clearwater's. "I'll ask Sue if there is anything and let you know. Stay safe, Alex. I'll talk to you later."
"Thanks for letting me know."
With that, the pair hung up. Alex's body flopped onto the bed in astonishment—Harry Clearwater was dead. And although it was of natural causes, she hadn't a doubt that Victoria might have been at the root.
Everything was beginning to get more dangerous, and Alex could only hope that nobody else would die in the process.
---
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