Alex could only watch as Jordan paced in front of her. The girl let her fingers clench into fists at her sides, more of a nervous tick than anything else as she prepared herself for what her brother was going to tell her.

It was scary for Alex to imagine what was going on inside Jordan's head. He seemed so broken, so unlike himself that Alex knew it had to have been serious to have him this worked up.

He had spent a solid half an hour in Alex's arms and had cried his eyes out. That wasn't usual for Jordan, it was always the other way round. Jordan held Alex when she cried, he put her back together.

Maybe that was what scared Alex the most—he was so out of character, so not himself that Alex struggled to recognise parts of him.

"I don't even know where to begin," Jordan continued to pace in the small space that his current room, the study his parents had converted, allowed. "My life is just such a shit show right now."

Alex didn't doubt that the boy had been homesick like he stated earlier, and that was part of the reason for him being upset. But there was more, Alex knew that and cursed herself for not trying to find out earlier. It had taken such a toll on her twin and Alex didn't notice nearly as much as she should have.

"Take your time," Alex let her small voice speak from her seat on Jordan's bed. "I'm not going anywhere."

Jordan looked grateful for that, a small smile graced his face as he watched his sister.

"I guess it started when I move to Ohio. It was fine in the beginning—I knew going into it that it would be hard, I was a new addition to the team and they had been bonded for over a year. But I would be fine, I have been any other time I've needed to make friends."

Alex knew that was the case—he had always been the outgoing one of the two. He did the talking, the socialising and any other extroverted thing whereas Alex was the opposite. She could never even imagine moving across the country, but she could easily imagine Jordan doing so.

Jordan let out a small sigh and he stopped walking. He stayed put in one spot and focused his attention on the ground in front of him. His fingers started to fiddle with the woven bracelet on his wrist—the one that both Jordan and Alex had gotten for their tenth birthday. Alex lost hers a long time ago but Jordan never took his off, it was a gift from his parents that he adored. "I don't know what part about me they hated, Lexi. They just did. From the minute I got there they made me feel like shit—and at first I thought that maybe it was because I was new, that they would warm up to me eventually. But I was so wrong.

"Everything I did, they hated. I got spat at, got called names that I could never even think about repeating—one guy even punched me once. For no other reason that I simply looked at him too long."

Alex felt her heart break—it was the only thing that she could pin on the feeling in her chest. It so heavy, such a massive pressured nailed down on her, so much that Alex nearly felt breathless. Her eyes got blurry before the drop of tears as she imagined what her brother had to go through, the ill treatment he got from his peers.

"I think when I really realised how fucking shitty those boys were was when they used my ethnicity against me—telling me to go back across the border, calling me names that are too derogatory to even tell you. That's what hurt the most for me—when they started to use a part of me that I have always been proud of and used it against me."

"And that's why you couldn't tell Mom and Dad," Alex concluded quickly from where she sat. The small girl used her hand to collect some of the tears that had ran down her face. "Because they used you being Hispanic as a reason to bully you—the one thing Mom and Dad are the most proud about giving us."

And that made Alex's heart break even more. Jordan had suffered, had let all this happen so that he didn't have to upset his parents. Ever since they were little, their Colombian and Mexican culture had always been a staple in the twins' lives—they went on holidays there, learned to speak the language, Alex even had her quinceañera only around a year ago which tons of their extended family flew in for—and they had always been taught to be nothing but proud of their heritage.

Being hispanic wasn't something either of the twins' could change—and Alex thought that maybe that was hurt the most about racism. Other people would never know what it's like to get ridiculed, hated and discriminated against due to the simple colour of your skin or heritage you had—something that you could never ever change.

Jordan had never been afraid of his culture, until his time in Ohio. And he knew that would hurt his parents more than anything.

Jordan nodded. "I didn't want them to blame themselves, which is exactly what they would have done."

"But they would have wanted you safe more than anything," Alex spoke to her brother as she watched him. He was being so vulnerable, so raw with her. Alex hated that he had to do that—let down his walls that had never even existed. Not before Ohio.

"Do you know how proud they were when I told them I got into a Cleveland team?" Jordan asked his sister, to which Alex could only draw on how she had felt. She was proud, of course she was but the brunette was sad more than anything. Sad to lose her twin to another state.

Alex shook her head.

"They had these smiles that I have only ever seen a few times—once at your quinceañera, a few times at school prize givings, and whenever any of us would start talking in Spanish instead of English as kids. Their smiles then, matched when I told them about the team. They were so happy, so proud."

"They're always proud of you—of us," Alex didn't even bother trying to clean up the tears on her cheeks now, she had noticed Jordan had done the same. They both let them fall freely now. "They wouldn't have loved you any less if you came back here."

"It's hard to think like that when you're at your worst."

Alex realised quickly how she didn't understand all of it. Sure, people had been mean to her in the past but never to the extent Jordan had described. It was for that reason that Alex only watched him, ready to listen to what else he had to say.

Jordan let out another deep breath, as if the next thing he was to say would be more serious than the rest. He moved from where he stood to sit next to Alex now, which allowed the brunette to grab his hand supportively. Alex gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It didn't help that among it all, I began to realise something."

Alex only smiled a little at her brother, which encouraged him to go on. There was nothing he could say that would change anything, within reason of course. No matter what damage they had done to Jordan, Alex didn't care. They would be okay—they always were when they were together.

There was a slight pause and Alex could easily tell Jordan had been working out a way to say what he had to. His eyebrows pinched together. "Actually that's a lie—I have known for a while but I think I only let myself come to terms with it when I was away. When I had all that time without anyone."

Alex didn't interrupt, only waited patiently as her brother let out another large breath.

"I'm gay."

Alex didn't know whether knowing that Embry had imprinted on her brother made this something that the brunette was cool with, or whether she always would have been.

It was definitely the latter, it didn't matter whom her brother fell in love with—girl or boy. He was still her brother, that hadn't change.

"I think I've known that since my first kiss with Jessica Stanley—I just never let myself think of the possibilities. I like boys, Lexi and that was hard pill for me to swallow. I didn't want to disappoint anyone further."

Alex let her hand cup her brother's cheek, which made him turn to face her, their dark eyes meeting one another. Alex smiled easily. "You think being gay is going to make anyone disappointed in you? That would never happen, not with the people that matter. Anyone who says otherwise can fuck off, seriously. I love you, you're still my brother—my womb mate. That same guy that just so happens to like boys."

Jordan let a smile take over his face for the first time in their talk. Both of the twins had cheeks sticky with tears but were both smiling in that moment. Jordan—because he finally felt accepted and like a ton of weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. He was back where he should be. And Alex—because her brother trusted her enough to finally tell her, and now she knew the whole truth.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all that by yourself," Alex finally let her mouth move with the words that had been brewing since Jordan finally broke down his walls. "I should have been there—not giving you rain checks to hang out with other people when you needed me."

Jordan shook his head faster than Alex was done talking. "Don't blame yourself, Lexi. You talking to me wouldn't have stopped them being assholes to me everyday or have stopped me from denying what my brain had told me for years."

"But you wouldn't have had to go through it alone." Alex let her brother wipe away a few stray tears from her cheeks. The girl had thought she was done crying but apparently not when she let the top off of her regret.

All Alex could think about was those times on the phone or on Skype that her brother seemed out of the ordinary, and she had done nothing about it. She would drop their talks to hang out with Paul and the rest of the pack.

"It would have happened whether you talked to me more often or not," Jordan reiterated now. "I don't blame you for anything for a second, Alex. You did exactly what I told you to do when I left, you lived your life fully. I'm so proud of you for that."

Alex would never say that her happiness related back to her brother, she was her own person and thought that opinions of others didn't do much to her—or so she liked to think. But Jordan being proud of her was something that Alex had always wanted and strived for when they were kids. Any opportunity the brunette got to make her twin proud was taken.

That familiar bubble came to rest in her stomach at Jordan's pride, one that uplifted her slightly. It wasn't life changing like Alex used to remember it was back when they were little, but it did make the teenager feel slightly better.

Jordan wrapped his arm around Alex then, which allowed the brunette to fall into her usual spot against his chest. He smelt like he always did—the musk evident from the cologne he continuously wore, the same one Alex brought him for their last birthday.

Alex squeezed her brother, to keep him there with her.

"Thank you for being okay with it," Jordan mumbled to his sister, Alex noticed that his grip got slightly tighter as he spoke those words.

About him being gay, she presumed. Not about him being bullied, that wasn't something Alex would ever be okay with. In fact despite being of rather tiny height, Alex was already interested in the names of Jordan's teammates, and the girl wouldn't hesitate in punching them. She just needed Paul to teach her how first.

"No problem, hermano," Alex smiled up at the brown haired boy from where she hugged his chest.

"Paul is hot by the way—I have been wanting to say that since I arrived. Actually, all the boys you hang out with are. You did well, Lexi."

Alex rose her eyebrow at this, her mind immediately hopped straight to Embry at this. The brunette tried her hardest to contain the smile that harboured knowing fully well that the two were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. "We have shared a lot of things in life, J, but I refuse to let my boyfriend be one of them. He's mine, the rest are fair game."

"Good to know," Jordan laughed at his sister's words.

Although Jordan's words had rocked her world, Alex knew that he was safe with her here, and that was where she intended for him to stay. For a long, long time.

---

people are assholes, especially those who hurt my precious son jordan :----(

but alex will not stand for the jordan slander! she will fight anyone who comes near him despite her being the tiniest thing in the world lol

also he came out to alex!!! yes!!! obvs there will be more discussion about it, espesh in jordan's own book because there are still other people he has to tell

only about 4 chaps left of this book, i'm sad to let my paul n alex go but they will live on in book 2!