"Why am I looking at your ceiling?" Tai said looking in the camera,

"Because I look horrible," I said lowly shuffling in my bed,

"I don't care let me see you," He said picking his phone up. My cheeks flushed red as he held the camera up and laid back,

"Tai seriously," I whined. I had my bonnet on because I was ready to sleep,

"Maniya I ain't playing," He replied. I sucked my teeth and sat up, putting my face in the camera,

"There your pretty ass goes," Tai said biting his lip. I blushed again and looked away from the camera,

"Tell me 'bout your day," He asked, I heard clicking so I knew he was on the game,

"It was my mama's birthday," I shrugged, "So I hung with her today,"

"Your mama huh?" He smiled looking down, "With her fine ass,"

"Ew," I said scrunching my face up,

"What? She's fine as fuck, now I know where you get your looks from," He said turning his attention back to the game. No one really knows that Naala and Dave aren't my real parents but that's no one else's business but ours.

"What did you do today?" I said changing the subject,

"Made some money and now I'm chilling talking to my girl,"

"Your girl?" I laughed, "Where she at?"

He sucked his teeth, "When are you gonna stop playing with me Maniya?"

"I told you before, I'm not for the drama Tai - have you broken up with Chloe?"

"Mannnn, me and Chloe were never together," He said lifting his phone back up,

"That's not what she told me in gym class," I replied raising a brow. After Tai came over after school and we messed around, the next day Chloe was going around telling everyone I fucked her man.

"Why you listening to that delusional girl, I don't fuck with her man,"

"I'm sure you don't" I responded coming off the FaceTime call and putting him on pause. I opened instagram and saw I had mad new followers. Brianna convinced me to make my account open and now people wouldn't stop following me.

"Take me off pause," Tai said after a while of me scrolling,

"You wasn't saying nothing," I rolled my eyes coming back on the call,

"You got an attitude now?" He mumbled,

"Did I say I have an attitude?" I replied, "You're the one that called me but you're steady playing the game,"

"I can turn it off Maniya damn," He said throwing the controller to the side. "You got all my attention now,"

"Whatever Tai, call Chloe or something,"

"Stop mentioning her, I told you I don't fuck with her so I don't fuck with her aight?" He spoke seriously,

Okay lil daddy.

"Okay," I said softly, "You didn't need to shout,"

"My bad but I want you to know I'm serious Maniya, I ain't these other niggas you're used to dealing with,"

That's what every nigga that IS like these other niggas, always says. I'm not dumb, no girl is gonna be claiming you unless you give her the power to do so, so from now on I'm gonna keep my distance.

I yawned and laid back, getting comfortable. It was 3am and I'm pretty sure I was the only one still awake.

"You tired?" He asked me, "I ain't even get to speak to you long,"

"I'm not tired," I said mid yawn,

"Go to sleep Maniya," He said with a smirk, "I'ma see you tomorrow anyway,"

"Who said so? I'm busy tomorrow," I said eyeing him,

"Whatchu doing?"

"My mom and dad are going out so I'm babysitting," I replied. They were only going for an appointment but this was my first chance to show them that I was responsible enough to take care of them on my own.

"I can help babysit," He answered, "I love kids,"

"Mmm, I'm sure you do," I laughed, "I have to ask my dad first though,"

"That's cool, just hit me in the morning,"

"I will," I lied, I was most definitely not gonna hit him in the morning. I meant it when I said I wasn't gonna mess with him like that anymore.

"Sleep well aight?" He said into the phone,

"Goodnight Tai," I smiled sweetly before hanging up. I huffed as soon as I put the phone down, why did I always attract taken men?

I laid still for a moment just thinking. I don't know why but I just felt upset all of a sudden, like a wave of sadness just washed over me. I've never had the perfect life, from the moment I was born I was unwanted. My real mother left me at the hospital and never looked back. I was in the system till I was 14 when I ran away choosing to live on the streets.

I met this man, Tremaine when I was 15. He took me in, clothed me, fed me, gave me a better life. Until, he wanted something in return. He made me feel dirty and disgusting. I tried to kill myself, twice and when I didn't succeed, I resorted to self harm- if I never ended up at that bar that night, I would have found a way to kill myself by now.

Tears rolled down my face as I thought about how much they saved me, how much they loved me. This was all new to me but I never wanted it to end. I laid there in my thoughts for a while before I dosed off eventually.

I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing, I turned over and checked the time - it was only 4:30am, that means I had only been sleeping for like an hour. I tossed my phone to the side and sat up, feeling thirsty.

I threw my feet over the side of my bed and stood up. My feet sinking into the plush white carpet at the side of my bed. I slipped my fluffy slippers on and left put my room to the kitchen.

I creeped down the hallway because Dave was like an owl, he heard everything at night, no matter if he was dead asleep. As I passed their door, I heard shuffling and light voices- I'm surprised they were up.

"Ooh right there baby," I heard my mom moan,

"Ewww," I said scrunching up my face and walking past quickly.

I got to the refridgerator and pulled out the cartoon of orange juice and then moved over to the cupboard to get a glass down. I don't know who built this house but they must have been tall as shit because I had to climb on the counter to reach it.

"What are you doing up?" I heard from behind me making me jump.

"Pops," I groaned clutching my chest, "You can't sneak up on me like that,"

"I'm sorry," He laughed, I got the glass and hopped off the counter.

"Why are you up?" I said to her as he took a seat on the stools by the island

"You in my business?" He retorted,

"Oh my God," I mumbled, "Mama's asleep?"

"Yeah she asleep alright," He replied with a smirk,

"First of all that's nasty and second of all, I don't want to hear that," I said sipping my juice. One thing I could say about them is that they had too much sex, and they weren't even quite.

"My fault, why you awake though?" He asked me. He leaned over the counter and took the hot cheetos that sat on the side,

"I was on the phone but now I can't sleep" I said truthfully. I felt comfortable telling my parents about boys, it felt weird to even have parents.

"With who?" He asked before putting some chips in his mouth,

"My friend Tai,"

"Tai knows I kill people?" He said to me,

"Pops it's not that serious," I laughed, "We're just friends anyway," I rolled my eyes,

"You want to be more than friends?" He quizzed,

"I don't know," I said shrugging, "He's got a situation going on and I don't want to be part of it."

He nodded and cleared his throat, "If he's messing with other girls don't get involved Niya,"

"I know but I like him," I pouted,

"Ion like that," He said screwing up his face, "You don't need to be focusing on that. Look I get it, you young and it seems fun but it ain't all it seems to be,"

"What do you mean?" I said sitting across from him,

"I met your mama when we were 16, we started off as being best friends but there was always something about her. I wasn't serious with her though, I used to fuck, I mean mess with hella girls back then, which put her off me. It was only till I grew up that I realised that Naala was the one for me,"

"How did you know she was the one?" I said intrigued,

"You want the adult version or the clean version?"

"Which ever version isn't gonna make me sick," I said honestly,

He laughed and then sat back, "Naala was pure, she was quiet, never bothered anybody but could hold her shit if someone came for her. I was her first but I messed up, I wasn't around throughout her whole pregnancy with Sinai and I missed 4 years of her life - I was selfish. But what made me realise that Naala was mine, was how strong she was, how strong she still is,"

"Pops," I pouted, that was so cute,

"She turned me into a simp," He smirked, "But for real Niya, don't ever forget your worth. You are too beautiful to be someone's second choice,"

"Thank you," I blushed at the compliment, I wish I felt beautiful. "So I should cut him off?"

"I can't make that decision for you Ni, you gotta do that," He responded throwing the empty chip packet away,

"Mama's gonna be mad," I pointed out, he knows how much she loved those chips,

"Mama's gonna be mad about what?" I heard from down the hallway,

"Shit," Pops said wiping his hands off quickly,

"I thought you was asleep baby," He said hiding his fingers, which we covered with cheeto dust,

"I needed water," She said kissing his lips but then made a funny face when she pulled away, "You taste like cheetos," She said leaning into him,

"I do?" He asked acting clueless,

"Yeah you do," She replied before turning to me, "You can't sleep baby?"

"No," I said shaking my head, suddenly feeling sad all over again. It was something about my mom that made me feel vulnerable enough to talk to her

"Do you wanna talk? I can make you some hot cocoa" She said moving away from Pops,

"Mommy you don't have to," I replied quickly,

"Shh, I'm doing it," She waved me off, "Amir let me talk to her,"

"Alright," Pops said standing up stretching, "I'ma go check on Saint then go back to bed,"

"Okay, good night dad," I said with a light smile,

"Goodnight," He said bringing me into a hug and kissing my head. I hugged him back and felt myself getting a bit upset, I've never had anything like this before so I didn't know how to feel.

"What's going on baby?" My mom asked leaning against the counter, "I know you Niya, you're not okay," She added,

I started to speak but I got choked up and tears started to fall down my face. I covered my face quickly and I heard her put something down and come over to me,

"Niya," She said softly, "What's the matter?"

"I-I don't know," I cried,

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, "Shh, I'm here,"

"I'm sorry," I mumbled pulling away and wiping my face, "I think I'm a bit overwhelmed,"

"Don't apologise," She said, "What brought this on? A dream?"

I shook my head, "I wasn't dreaming, I was thinking about y'all and how much you've helped me and then I started to think about my real mom,"

"Oh," My mom said stepping back,

"Not like that mommy, you're my only mom but I was thinking about why she abandoned me," I said quickly when her face fell,

"Niya," She replied rubbing my arms, "I know how it feels but look at you now - you're doing well, you're top of your class, let's not forget that you are absolutely gorgeous. She's missing out but I'm glad because that means I can have you,"

I nodded and sniffed, "I don't know why I care, I have you,"

"It's normal, I always wanted to know why my mom left me - I hated her for it. Never think that your feelings don't matter. You're right, you do have me and you have your dad, we aren't going anywhere,"

"Thanks mommy," I said quietly. She pulled me into a hug,

"Bend down a bit so I can give you a kiss," She laughed. I always forget that she's a midget.

I bent down and she kissed me on my cheek, "I love you," She whispered wiping my eyes,

"Love you too ma," I smiled, "Are you still gonna make the hot cocoa," I said with bright eyes,

"Anything you want my love," She replied stepping away from me. She put the milk in the pan and turned the stove on,

"How does it feel to be engaged?" I asked her. Her face lit up and she looked down at the ring,

"It still doesn't feel real," She responded, "Did he tell you about it?"

"Yeah, I went with him to pick the ring," I told her. He had been so nervous that he would get the wrong thing,

"Really?" She smiled, "That's so sweet,"

"He really loves you ma," I said to her,

"I know, I just hope love is enough," She mumbled the last part but I still heard her. I didn't want to push so I acted as if I didn't hear it.

"Hand me those mugs please?" She asked pointing at the mugs sitting on the counter, I reached to get them and hand them to her when I saw her paused in front of the stove,

"Ooo," She groaned rubbing her stomach,

"Are you okay?" I said quickly when I noticed her tense up. I put the mugs down,

"Mmm," She nodded, "It's a bad stitch, this baby doesn't let up at all,"

"Are you sure ma? This doesn't look like a stitch," I said watching her lean on the counter and breathe in and out,

"Ahhh," She said rocking back and forth clearly in pain.

"I'm getting dad," I said leaning off the counter and rushing out of the kitchen. I ran up the stairs and into their bedroom,

"Dad," I called out, he jolted out of his sleep and sat up straight away,

"What's up? What's wrong?" He rushed out,

"It's mama, she said her belly's hurting but she's bad dad," I said out of breath,

"Damn," He said getting out of the bed. We left out the room and he rushed towards her.

She was now sitting on the floor, panting. He reached over her and took the pan off the stove, turning it off.

"Amir, I don't like this," She said in pain,

"You wanna go to the hospital?" Pops said getting down beside her,

"No, I'm scared," She said crying. I bit my lip because I hated seeing her cry,

"Niya go get your mama something to wear. We're going Naala," He said lifting her off the floor,

I nodded and hurried to get her something. I went through her closet and just grabbed the first thing I saw and took her slippers.

When I got back down the stairs, my dad was holding her in his lap while she cried in his neck,

"Stop thinking like that," He mumbled to her,

"Here dad," I said handing the clothes to him. He thanked me and then got up still holding her,

"Look after them, I'll call you from the hospital," He spoke directly to me. I nodded and wiped my eyes,

"Don't worry she's gonna be fine Niya," He said to me. I guess he could sense my fear,

"I know," I replied. He walked them out of the door and they left.

I went back into my room and sat on my bed, now I definitely won't be able to sleep.

"We're just gonna have a quick look at what's going on here okay?" A doctor said pulling out the scanning machine.

I squeezed Amir's hand and laid back, "It's gon be okay baby relax," He said into my ear.

I anxiously watched the nurse hook up the machine, she pulled out the gel and poured it on my stomach.

"Mmm," She said rubbing the sonographer ladle over my stomach. I couldn't see anything on the screen and my heart dropped,

"Where's the heartbeat?" Amir asked sitting up and looking at the screen,

"Let me get the doctor," The nurse smiled at us,

I twisted my lips to the side and looked away from the screen at Amir. "I'm sorry," I whispered to him,

"Sorry fa what mama?" He asked rubbing my hair,

"The baby's gone and it's my fault," I cried,

"Stop it. We don't know that yet," He replied, "Everything is gonna be fine, relax,"

I nodded and looked away, waiting for the doctor to come back in. Moments later, he came in holding a clipboard.

"Okay Naala is it?" He asked me,

"Yes," I nodded,

"And I take it your dad?" The doctor said to Amir, who just nodded, I could tell he wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Right, so the nurse here told me she couldn't detect the heartbeat." He spoke sympathetically, "I know that sounds scary but sometimes that happens, what I'm going to do is a more thorough look,"

I didn't respond, all I heard was that they couldn't find the heartbeat. It was like everything was quiet but his mouth was still moving.

"Did you hear that Love?" Amir said to me,

I nodded even though I didn't hear anything he said.

"We normally ask moms to try and wake the baby up, so could you gently massage your stomach, or dad can,"

"I don't want to do that," I said softly, if the baby was already gone I didn't want to get my hope up.

The doctor smiled awkwardly and Amir sat forward and put his hand on my stomach,

"Hey there baby girl, I say baby girl because I know that you're a girl - I can feel it. We can't wait to meet you, you're our little surprise."

I looked away as my eyes started to water. Amir noticed and held my hand,

"Mommy's a bit scared, so we need you to wake up baby girl, for me?" He said lowly, "You can do it now," He said to the doctor,

He pulled forward the machine again and started to look for the baby,

After a minute of pure silence, the heartbeat sounded through the room, making me sigh in relief and drop a few tears,

"Daddy has that magic touch huh?" The doctor chuckled,

"He does," I breathed out looking at Amir. He leaned down and pecked my lips twice,

"I told you, she's good," He mumbled wiping my face,

"Okay, I need to run a few more tests so bare with me," The doctor spoke before leaving the room,

"I was so scared Amir, I thought -"

"I know but this our miracle baby," He said to me, that was true - I didn't think I would get pregnant so fast after Saint especially after the complications I had with him.

We sat in silence as he rubbed my hand, waiting for the doctor to come back. "Have you texted Niya?" I asked looking at the time, it was almost 6am.

"Mmm, she's okay," I nodded, "Should I call her?" He asked pulling out his phone,

"Please?" I said sitting up. He dialled her number and she answered on the first ring,

"Is the baby okay?" She asked quickly,

"Yeah she's good," Amir smiled,

"Daddy, I told you it's a boy," Maniya replied, "Mama's okay?"

"I'm fine baby, go to sleep I know you've been up," I said as Amir held the phone closer to me

"I wanted to make sure y'all were okay," She responded, "Saint's up now," She added,

"Aw Papa," I pouted, "I hope he's not giving you trouble,"

"He knows not to," Amir said mugging,

"Leave my papa bear alone," I laughed, "You gave him a bottle?" I asked her,

"He keeps moving his head, I don't think he want it," She replied,

"Just keep trying, he's always like that in the morning," I said as the doctor walked back in,

"Niya we'll talk to you later," Amir said and they said their goodbyes.

"Right so not the best news. You're blood pressure is now a cause for concern. It's putting a lot of strain on the baby. You're only 4 months, so as you can imagine that's not good," He started, "I can see here that you've had a still born before and during both births you were early,"