《His Last Hope | ✓》19: I'm trying to help you, you big idiot.
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Lincoln and I had been making progress over the course of the last few days. Since me finding out about his father Lincoln had become less reluctant to be himself around me. It felt like the rough, stoney exterior of Lincoln's personal dam had burst open.
Okay... maybe there hadn't been that drastic of a change but there was definitely a noticeable chip in the teen's usually closed off disposition. His punctuality on the other hand was something we still needed to work on.
"Don't you have class?" I accused barging through the side doors of the school building. "You can continue your bromance later, give me back my pupil."
Andrew extracted the lit cigarette from his lips, releasing the toxic fumes into my face. "Sharing is caring, Sweetheart."
The pollution threw me into a coughing fit, my hands flailing about in a poor attempt to bring fresh air to my lungs. "Put that shit out. It's illegal to smoke on school property." I choked, giving both boys a stern glare - Andrew for puffing poison into my system and Lincoln for encouraging it with his snicker.
"How would you know?" Andrew questioned, his thin lips surrounding the filter of his cancer stick once more.
"I just do." I protested weakly, flinching when he looked ready to exhale again.
The smoke left his mouth in a slow, steady stream as he spoke, "Lawyer material right here." Andrew chuckled, taking his last puff and dropping his cigarette to the asphalt. "Keep this one around Link, she might be able to bail you out next time, eh?"
Flickering my gaze down to the still smouldering butt on the floor I said, "Littering can get you into trouble too, you know?"
"So can stalking." Andrew countered with a know-it-all grin. "But if you have your handcuffs Officer I'll come quietly... or, not so quietly."
"Okay Chuckles," Lincoln intervened with a heavy hand on Andrew's t-shirt clad shoulder. "That's enough out of you for now. Take your delinquent ass back to Barber's before California here pops something."
"Like the blood vessel protruding from her forehead?" Andrew leaned over to faux whisper in his friend's ear.
"No, like Ernie and Bert." Lincoln mocked, whispering loud enough for me to hear from a couple feet away.
Andrew's eyes expanded, his hand instinctively hovering over his crotch as he scampered away. "Over my dead body. Peace out girl scouts!"
I found my words only once the metal doors to my rear banged shut. "Ernie and Burt? Really?" I eyed Lincoln as he attempted to fight back a grin.
"Have any better suggestions?
"There's a million better combinations than th-" I paused, shaking the scarring images from my mind. "You know what, never mind. You're making me forget the purpose for me coming out here without my jacket in the first place." I huffed focusing my gaze on the tall teen. "You do realize it's spare right? I've been waiting for the last twenty minutes."
Pushing off the bricked wall he'd been leaning against Lincoln moved closer, blocking me from the wind. "I felt I needed a break."
"You get breaks after you start not before." I reminded him, eyebrow raised. I hated waiting but his boyish grin caused my exasperation to melt away like an ice cube in the savanna.
"I meant from studying in general. I could have compared you to Stalin yesterday. You wouldn't even let me take a bathroom break. Let me have the period off."
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"That's only because you take ten hours in there. But that reminds me, how did the math midterm go today?"
"Hopefully alright." Lincoln responded modestly. His smile was sending me more positive vibes.
"Better not make me look bad." I warned, boldly poking at his chest. "I have a reputation to uphold."
"I'm sure whether I pass or fail your reputation will be just fine. Especially considering you're the only one who's been able to stick around. Tutoring the untutorable is a pretty impressive feat."
"I should consider putting that on my resumé." I joked causing Lincoln to breathe out a laugh. "If you want a break now we can do that but you're using your night off then." I bargained soon after sobering. "I can go pick up Sadie with you once we leave and -"
"What about work?"
"For who?"
"For you." Lincoln pondered, his eyebrows furrowed. "Did you get the day off or something?"
"Oh, about that. I've been meaning to tell you," I paused, choking on the next couple of words, "I quit - took a leave of absence or whatever." I admitted, kicking my boot to the ground.
"Why? If tutoring me is too much-"
"No, no, it's nothing like that, really." I insisted, waving my hands in between us.
"Do you need more time for your stuff? Cause I think I've been doing pretty good. We can study a couple times a week instead of everyday." He offered.
"No, it's not that either." The preparation I made for this moment didn't seem like it was enough anymore.
"Then what?"
"I wanted to be more of a help. I figured if I held off my job until this summer I could help watch Sadie for you and your mom while you two are at work. I checked the pricing list at the daycare and part-time care is less than half the price of full-"
Lincoln forcefully cut off my babbling, "Please tell me you're kidding. Please, for the love of pizza, tell me this is your poor attempt at humour."
"Just hear me out." I insisted. "I didn't even need the job. It was just something to-"
"For fuck sakes Calista! That's not the point. I don't need you or want you to help me anymore than you already are." With a frustrated groan Lincoln turned, running his hands through his hair. "This is what I was afraid of. Stop going out of your way for me! Don't pity me, don't baby me, don't feel like you need to trail after me and make sure I don't fall. I'm not broken. Stop acting like I can't manage on my own. My mother and I are perfectly capable of paying for what's needed. Just because my parents aren't loaded-"
"And you think mine are?" I spoke up, wounded he wouldn't accept my help.
"They're wealthy enough for you to think you need to do charity work, like some snob helping the little people."
The venom in his words stung but I refused to let him see it. "This isn't charity work! I'm trying to help."
"We're hardly friends! You're just some girl who sticks her nose where it's not wanted!"
The blood in my veins began to boil uncomfortably. "Shut the fuck up about that. You told me everything on your own!"
"You really think I wanted to tell you anything? I didn't invite you over to my house Friday night. Actually, if I recall correctly I told you not to come over. You're making everything so much more difficult for me! If you weren't always around you wouldn't know anything. You're worse than my fucking shadow!" He roared, his fist flying out and cracking into the school building. Not expecting his surge in anger I flinched back out of fright.
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"Woah now, Pierce." A new voice appeared from my rear. I was so focused on arguing with Lincoln I hadn't registered the metal doors clanging shut once more. "Calm down there will you? Wouldn't wanna strike the lady by accident. Or maybe you would, you know what they say, like father like son." Dominic Silva's snake like presence stopped the both of us cold.
The tension between Lincoln and I simmered down, Lincoln's attention now focused on Silva and his friends. If I thought Lincoln was angry before he was furious now, Silva's words poking him in all the wrong places. The vexation Lincoln was displaying in comparison to how he was with me moments ago was worrying and I silently wished it was just the two of us duking it out again.
"You don't know fuck all Silva. Stop acting like an entitled piece of shit. Out of the two of us we both know who the real fuck up is. If your father hadn't saved your ass you would have done the time to prove it."
Feeling uneasy I inched closer to Lincoln's side despite his outburst towards me. Silva had a wide, unfazed grin plastered on his face but it was not difficult to detect the underlying current of raw rage beneath the surface.
"Those are fighting words, Pierce." Silva seethed with the click of his tongue, taking an unwanted step forward.
"I'm glad you finally figured it out. You're always hiding behind your goon squad." With the nod of his head Lincoln motioned towards the small group that planked his rival. "If you want to settle this once and for all just let me know."
Silva boldly moved closer causing Lincoln to gently nudge me to the side. "You're just begging for it Pierce, just begging for an ass whooping."
"Not so different from how you have to beg for sex then."
Silva jolted forward, only barely being caught by one of his pals. The unexpected movement had me stumbling back. Lincoln hadn't even jerked in response.
"How convenient. They always manage to pull you back just in time, eh?"
Lincoln was hardly able to finish his sentence. From over his shoulder I spotted the other teen's short dirty blonde head speed forward. Looking more like an enraged bull than human Silva slammed into my human shield with the power of a bulldozer. The combination of their body weight had me barrelling back against the wall, my head bouncing off the rough surface.
I was too preoccupied trying to make the world stop spinning after that. Determined not to fall to the ground like last time I held my head in my palms, eyes closed as I listened to the chaos outside my mind. Moments later and I was able to peel my lids open witnessing Lincoln and Silva being securely separated. I winced in pain as the other boy was dragged off, swearing and screaming his threats.
"You alright?" A firm hand took the place of mine. Rubbing the sore spot gently his hands weaved through my hair.
Thank God I brushed it this morning.
"What is it with you two?" I asked abruptly trying not to display how affected I truly was by his touch. "He literally looks like he wants to kill you."
"Probably does." He admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.
I attempted not to pout when he retracted his fingers. "Why?"
"Wouldn't allow him to be like my sperm donor." He explained vaguely, stuffing his fists into his jeans.
"How-"
"If you're watching Sadie I'm paying." Lincoln interrupted, deterring me from my train of thought.
"What? No, the whole reason I'm doing this in the first place is so you and your family can save up and get the hell out of that house." I argued but Lincoln wasn't having any of it.
"Then she can stay full time. She likes it there anyways."
"You're being stubborn." I stated, crossing my arms.
"And you're being pushy."
Exasperated I raised my arms. "I'm trying to help you, you big idiot."
"And I'm letting you. But we're doing it my way." The challenging stare on Lincoln's face didn't leave much room for negotiation.
Glaring up at him I weighed my options. There weren't many. "Fine." I bit out, wanting to hit him for being ridiculous.
"Perfect. You start tonight." He announced, turning his leather coated back to me. "I'm going out."
"To where?" I shouted after him once his words sunk in. "You took this week off to study, not slack off!"
"To make money. I gotta pay you for your services some how."
"Don't say it like that!" I called after him, my face reddening as the stray students turned. "Stupid idiot making it sound like I'm some sort of prostitute." I muttered to myself when he paid no attention. Feeling no need to watch him press on through the parking lot I headed back inside. The heating of my school embraced the little exposed skin I had showing and I silently dreamed for summer, longing to shed the bulky winter attire.
Halfway on my way to the library a high voice filled the silent hall. "Oh, there you are. I thought you'd be in the library with your secret love affair."
"Aren't you usually harassing Harper at this time?"
"Business midterm. I wasn't able to convince Edward to let me stay." Ella signed at the inconvenience. "I'm doomed to spend my free period in the library like some no-lifer."
I rose my brow. "By Edward I'm assuming you mean Mr Humphries."
"Potato, tomato." Ella brushed off with the wave of her hand. "What are you doing tonight? I feel like shopping."
"Can't-"
"Tutoring lover-boy again?" I watched as Ella fought back her knowing smirk before scanning the corridor. "Speaking of Lincoln, where is that 200 pounds of gorgeous?"
"He needed the day off from studying." I replied in all honesty. "But I can't tonight, I said I'd watch his little sister for him."
"Wow, you're doubling as a tutor and a nanny? I hope you're getting something in return out of all this." Realization dissolved her features. Instantly her thin fingers flew out, wrapping around my bicep like a deceptively strong gardner snake. "You must be getting something out of all this, you're at his every beck and call."
"Pft, most of the time he wishes I wasn't there, but alright." I muttered under my breath as I shoved my way through the library doors, Ella hot on my heels.
She circled the table, standing in front of me while I tidied up the books I'd left. "So, how's he paying you? How's he keeping you around?"
Stuffing the books into my bag I stopped only a moment to furrow my brows at her questioningly.
"He's that good, eh?"
Attention snapping to Ella's face I watched as her eyes glistened suggestively.
"He took your-"
"No!" I shouted, forgetting where I was for a moment. Automatically I lowered my tone, fearing Ms Stewart and her stapler. "No, that's not it at all."
"Then what are you getting out of any of this? You spend more time at his then you do at home these days." Ella reminded while tailing after me.
"I'm not getting anything out of it." I said determinedly hoping to change Lincoln's mind later. "I don't want anything."
"Would you say you guys are friends then?" Ella asked hopefully. "I mean, after all the time you're spending with him you guys must be past the 'awkward-eye-contact-in-the-hall' stage."
"Uhhh..." There was nothing I could think of to say to that. Lincoln had stated on multiple occasions we weren't friends and at this point I wasn't so sure it was just a defence mechanism anymore.
"So you're not friends?" Ella pressed, arms crossed.
"Not exactly. Not to him."
Ella joined me on the path back to our lockers. "Well then why are you doing any of this for? I get the whole good samaritan thing, but why go out of your way to do more?"
I took a couple of moments to process the question. Why was I going out of my way to do more for Lincoln? He obviously didn't appreciated my helping hand.
But that's what bothered me.
Lincoln didn't have a helping hand. Him and his mother were single handedly trying to bare this burden on their shoulders while attempting to shelter Sadie. And they couldn't do it on their own. No one could do that on their own. Lincoln's stone hard defences were not going to stop me from aiding his family.
"Because I wish someone would have done the same for me."
* * * * *
I was descending the stairs when the front door unlocked. Lincoln's bulking frame slipped in, his duffle bag over his shoulder. Turning before he closed the front door he saluted Andrew, the Jeep Wrangler ripping over the asphalt.
"Welcome home." His attention was completely on me now. I stayed on the steps, lowering myself to sit. "Sadie just fell asleep."
"Thanks." Lincoln replied shortly, voice low. He turned his face from me, like he did the other night when he came home battered. I was guessing it was still hard for him to accept I knew about his secret. It was a vulnerable side he didn't trust with anyone besides Andrew until now. And even then Andrew didn't know the whole story. I did.
I stayed my distance, analyzing the angry purple that stained the skin over his temple. Except for that one blemish Lincoln appeared perfectly fine and knowing he was okay allowed me to breathe easy again.
"Are you hungry? There's leftover soup and crackers in the kitchen for you." I questioned from my carpeted seat.
Lincoln paid my comment no heed, instead he reached down into his bag and pulled out a roll of bills. His thick fingers untied the elastic before handing out half of his earnings to me.
My eyes focused on his face, keeping my arms resting on my knees.
"It's for the week. Take it." Lincoln insisted, arm still outstretched.
"You said you had to pay me but you didn't specify with what."
His thick brows furrowed in confusion, his arm lowering an inch as he thought. Rising from the staircase I made my way down the last two steps. I reached out, pushing down his hand with the cash in refusal.
"What?"
"I don't want your money."
"Then what do you want?" I watched as Lincoln's eyes searched my face, his confused expression making me want to laugh.
"Turtles."
"You want what?"
"Turtles. You know, the chocolate?"
"Wha-"
"If you want to pay me this is what I want to be paid with. I'm the one working, I should be able to decide what I'm working for." I said, proud that Lincoln actually seemed to be considering my ultimatum.
"You want to be paid in chocolate?"
Sending him a baffled look I responded, "Who doesn't want to be paid with chocolate?"
Lincoln bowed his head, shaking it in disbelief while a smile forming on his lips. I took his silence as an opportunity to leave without him thrusting his money at me. Making my way over to the front door I scooped up my bag from where I had left it after slipping on my boots.
"Hey, California."
Turning back to him I released the handle of the front door. "Yeah?"
"If it's worth anything I'm happy you broke into my house that one night." He paused, a meaningful look transforming his usually heartless gaze. "It's good having you around California."
And as I turned around to leave I had to calm down the overzealous fluttering of my heart.
Because I was pretty sure that was as close to an apology that anyone ever got from someone like Lincoln Pierce.
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