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Techno woke up because his body ached. Maybe because last night he fell asleep sitting. When he opened his eyes, he felt that there was warmth covering his right hand. Kengkla's head lay next to his hand, with Kengkla's hands clasping it tightly, as if afraid that Techno would leave him if the hand was released. Techno couldn't bear to let it go, even though his hands feel very sore.

Techno doesn't know anything about the Kengkla family. He is not a nosy person with other people's lives. All this time all he saw was Kengkla who was polite, cheerful and never lacking in anything. Kengkla always looks shining. But the tears last night made him curious about Kengkla. Who is Kengkla? What's behind that shining light? What is he hiding ??

Techno subconsciously caresses Kengkla's head gently. Techno does not recognize what feelings are running through his heart at this time. Sympathy, pity, affection or anything. He doesn't know, anyway, it's not important for him. Techno is used to keeping and protecting people around him like a mother. Like his attitude so far to his only brother Technic, to his team mates in football and also to his juniors. Type and Technic often scold him because he always runs out of money, which is used to treat his juniors. He also always lacks time. He always arrives first on the field, prepares everything and comes home last after clearing it all up. That is why all those who know Techno love him very much.

And Techno has never been angry. No matter how people insult him, he will only respond with a smile or laugh, as if he doesn't understand their words. Abstinence for him shows anger and weakness in front of people, except in front of Type and Champ. They are the most trusted person for Techno because they have been friends for a long time. That is why they are very protective of anything or anyone who approaches Techno.

Last night's event grew his 'motherly' feeling. He wants to erase Kengkla's hidden sorrow. At least, reduce that feeling. He did not want to see him sad when he was with him.

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Kengkla woke up when he felt his head gently stroked. This is P'No's hand, he thought. He pretended to be still asleep to enjoy the caress. But instead of enjoying, his heart actually felt hurts. Not hurt because of P'No, but hurt because of his parents. Kengkla doesn't even remember the last time his parents stroked his head and showed love for him, their only child.

Unconsciously, Kengkla's tears dripped again. He tried his best to hold back his sobbing, because he still wanted to feel P'No's caress. But it turns out he's not that strong.

"Nong ... Nong Kla ... why are you crying ????," Techno asked frantically as he felt Kengkla's body tremble which was accompanied by sobbing.

Kengkla was still in his original position, sinking his face into the handle of the sofa. He did not want P'No to see his weaknesses. He wants P'No to always see him as a strong man who can he count on.

"Nong ... Nong Kla, don't scare me. Why are you crying ??? Did I make you cry ?? Did I do something wrong ?? Answer Nong ..."

Techno sound really panicked. Kengkla just shook his head, making Techno even more confused. Techno immediately pulled his hand from Kengkla's grasp and then moved, positioning himself behind Kengkla and hugging him tightly, while whispering soothing words.

"Sshh ... sshh ... Phi doesn't know what your problem is, but if crying can reduce your sadness, cry Kla. You're not alone, Phi is here to accompany you."

Hearing the words of Techno made Kengkla's crying even harder. The sound that was only started with a small sob, is now sounding like a heartbreaking cry. Techno kept caressing Kengkla's head, giving him the strength he could. He let Kengkla cry as much as he could, releasing all the burdens he had been carrying out. While hoping that after this, Kengkla's feelings will get better.

They don't know much time has passed, they didn't count it. Finally, Kengkla's sobbing slowly disappeared and he started breathing normally. Techno wanted to pull his hand from Kengkla's body.

"Just a minute, Phi. Please, just for a moment. Keep hugging me like this, Phi," Kengkla asked in a trembling voice.

Techno returned to his original position, hugging Kengkla from behind. He was determined to reduce Kengkla's burden, so he would obey whatever Kengkla wanted today

(A/N: Be careful with your words, 'No hahahahaha)

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Kengkla finally calmed. He let go of Techno's arms slowly. Techno immediately sat waiting for Kengkla to sit down. Fortunately this sofa is enough for both of them, so Techno doesn't need to move to sit and stay away from Kengkla.

"Thank you, Phi. Sorry you have to see me like this," Kengkla said with a small smile.

"Just relax. You are free to cry anytime. My shoulder is ready when you need it," Techno answered jokingly while wiping away the tears left on Kengkla's cheeks.

Kengkla took Techno's hand and held it tightly with both of his hands. He bowed his head. He really wanted to talk and share his burden with P'No, but he was afraid that P'No would pity him. After all, he is Kengkla, he hates being pityed.

"If you need someone to talk, you can talk me if you want to, Nong Kla. Don't hold your own sadness. My mother said, sadness that was held, could kill you slowly. You're still young and healthy, don't die first. "

Kengkla was confused, he should be happy or laughing at P'No's words just now. He said it with a serious face. Finally, Kengkla's sincere smile adorned his lips.

"May I hug you, Phi? I don't want you to see my face when I tell the story." - Kengkla

If the one who speaks this is the cunning Kengkla, of course this is his sneaky way to take advantage. But the one who spoke this time was the real Kengkla, Kengkla who was fragile and needed a someone to lean on. Techno smiled and spread his white hands, waiting for Kengkla to hug him.

Kengkla puts himself in a comfortable position and embraces Techno. He immersed his head in Techno's chest. He tried to regulate the breath and the pounding of his heart which began to beat improperly. Techno just hugged in silence, waiting for Kengkla to talk. Then Kengkla took a long breath of sign that he was ready to tell a story.

"My parents divorced when I graduated from middle school." - Kengkla

Degh ... Techno never knew about this. Is this the reason Kengkla doesn't have friends? Because he closed his heart to anyone or is there another reason? Techno didn't ask anything and let Kengkla continue the story. His hand continued to caress Kengkla's arm or head, giving him calmness and strength to speak.

"I never saw them fight. We looked like a happy families. They both had their own business but always had time for me, even though sometimes only one of them accompanied me because the other one was busy. For example, my Mom had come to take my report card and the other day, my Dad had come to watch the match I competed. We rarely can go out together in a month. When we were at home, we always had breakfast together, occasionally having dinner together if they came home early. But at that time, I didn't think of anything except that they were busy. At the day of my graduation, they both came to school. At that time I felt very happy. The first time my parents came to school for me. And you know, Phi? I ranked first in school. Imagine how happy I was to stand on the podium giving a thank you speech to my parents who were sitting in that chairs?? '

Kengkla's voice trembled again. He tightened his arms and Techno responded.

"After returning from school, we stopped by our favorite family restaurant. We arrived home around 4pm. There were no signs. I went straight to my room and slept. I woke up at 6pm, showered and had dinner with them. After dinner, we gathered in the family room, that's when they said that they had been legally divorced and decided that I will going with my father. Can you imagine how I felt at that time, Phi? Have you ever heard the term 'They've taken you up to heaven and dropped you into hell in the next second?', that's how I feel, Phi. "

"Then what did you do at that time, Nong Kla?"

"I just fell silent. Maybe too shocked. I didn't say a word, went back to the room and locked it. I heard them knocking on my door many times for quite a while, but I didn't care. I wondered why they divorced? So their attitude all this time was just a play? Since when did they intend to divorce? Am I the reason they divorced? Was it my fault? I always was being a good and obedient child. My rank was always good in school. I never made any problem. They don't even gave me a chance to improve myself. Then suddenly they decided I had to come with Dad , without asking me first. "

Kengkla's talk began to ramble. All the questions that filled his heart spit out everything.

"Even though I don't know your parents and don't know their problems, but I am 100% sure that you are not the reason for their divorce. It is purely because of their selfishness. Because you are their lovable son. So please, stop blaming yourself," Techno said trying to calm Nong.

Kengkla, who began to calm down, continued the story.

"Shortly afterwards, I knew the truth. They both cheated. Dad with his accountant and Mom with her business partner. Even Mom married that person a year after the divorce. But she hasn't had children until now. Whereas Dad is still alone. He broke up with that woman. And that woman is now married too. "

"Then what about you? Have you forgive them?" - Techno

"Not yet. I can't, Phi. I didn't even come to Mom's wedding. I also rarely see Dad. I avoid it as best I can."

"By acting like that, are you happy, Nong?"

Kengkla is silent. Enough answer for Techno.

"Now, Nong Kla is listening to Phi."

Techno let go of his arms and looked straight into Kengkla's eyes. He didn't forget to hold the fragile man's hand in front of him.

"First, don't blame yourself for your parents' divorce. If you keep blaming yourself, then forgive yourself. Forgive your parents too. They have a world and problems that are different from you, which you might not understand. Whatever their reasons at that time, nothing will change today. All you have to do is to be . How? Gradually, step by step. Start by forgiving yourself and your parents. Others will follow. Will it be easy? Of course not. But that doesn't mean it's impossible. You just need to try it. If you tried but it didn't work, then stop it. But you have to be happy with whatever your final choice is. Phi is here. Nic is here. This family is here too. You have been our family since the first time you became Nic's friend. Since you loved this family. So, don't ever feel alone. Okay ???. "

This time, it seems like Techno borrowed Type's brain. But Kengkla doesn't care. He absorbed all of Techno's words and promised to do all Techno's advice. One thing that Techno didn't realize, his happiness was not started by forgiving himself and his parents, but by loving a man with an angel's smile in front of him.

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Published : 17.01.19 ; 10.03am