I walk back into the locker room with all my guys proud as I could be. We did it, I might have cussed at them during half time to get their shit together but, we did it. We won the National Championship and I'm on cloud nine.

Nagging in the back of my head though is the fact that Ellie deserves to know that Gillian came to my room and kissed me, I have to tell her tonight. I think I'm ready to propose to her, I know without a doubt I love her. And I'm ready, I don't think I've ever been more ready to make a decision in my life.

"Tanner Kingston?" I hear announced as I look behind me on the way to the locker room with my helmet in my hand. It's the head coach for the Cowboys.

"Yes sir" I turn around shaking his hand as he introduces himself to me. "I'm impressed with you. I know you're going to be drafted. And I know if that that happens, you'll be in a Cowboys uniform. You're the first recruit, meaning I'll get my hands on you first since I know the Cowboys aren't as good as we could be. When you're ready to make a decision, call me and we'll talk. I'd like to see you in a blue uniform." He tells me handing me his information and a large packet.

"Thank you." I mumble looking at it as I see his wedding band on his finger. He catches me staring at it as he looks back.

"What's her name?" He asks me as I hold the packet. I guess he just knows, he knows I'm contemplating what to do. I don't know what's right anymore, Ellie or football.

"Ellie. She's beautiful, she's selfless, and I love her. I just don't want to make a decision that messes that up." I tell him as he nods.

"I get it. But think about it like this, if you come and play for me you can bring her with you. You'd be having two things I know you care about. You've got a good head on your shoulders young man, I know you'll make the right decision." He tells me patting my back as he walks away.

I don't know what to do. Ellie's going to be proud of me, I know she is, but the thought of making her move her whole life for me, it just doesn't sit right. I love her, I love her more than football. And I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't give up football, and I can't give her up.

Entering the door coach yells at us "Hey assholes, I'm proud of each and every one of you. As you know many of you seniors will be in the NFL next year but I think that Tanner here may be going with you. You guys pulled it together and I'm proud." He tells us as I still. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life.

Cheers and clapping erupts throughout the entire room. Just then Brad our three hundred pound center linebacker comes walking out of the coaches office limping. He is met by the athletics physical therapist with a wheelchair. He is then pushed out of the locker room. The boys are still yelling though, it does not phase their hype one bit.

I watch him leave as I see the door pop open and families line the wall. Although mine is not here tonight I know that it's important what they are doing so I'm okay, as long as Ellie's here I'm fine but somethings up and I know it.

This morning she left without even teasing me. Normally we'll wake up and go get breakfast together before the day starts, or we'll just talk for a few minutes. She just lays on my chest as I rub her back and she just tells me what's on her mind. It's the only time we really get to talk, besides before we go to bed, and even then it's fucked up. She'll go to bed at midnight from studying, when I can't get into bed later than ten and expect to play good. She loves to pick at me and mess with my hair when she wakes up. Which usually results in her and I going rounds. But she didn't do any of that this morning, when I woke up she was dressed, and had her hair done ready for the day. When I sat up looking for her she was bent over putting on her shoes and I whistled at her making her blush but she didn't say anything. She just walked over and kissed me before telling me she loved me and that she had to go. It was odd.

So I called Brooke and she told me to take Ellie to breakfast and that would fix it. So I did, and she didn't eat, she didn't even really drink anything I had brought, she was extremely pale and when I asked her what was going on, she told me she'd be feeling off for a few days. So I asked again, and I held her in my arms as she held her stomach and she just told me she felt horrible before she went and puked her guts up. I found her in the bathroom hunched over the toilet as I held her hair back as she puked up everything. I knew something was up, but I didn't know she'd caught the stomach bug until I saw her this afternoon.

She looks sick, like she's lost to much weight. She's only carrying around water because apparently everything else makes her sick, and she's dead set on not telling me what's wrong. I need to see her, somethings up and I know it.

Chad yells across the room "Hey guys, shut up! I have an announcement to make!" as loud as possible, I wonder what his shady ass is up to. "I just want to say that our Captain, the beast Tanner right here is a full time player on an off the field."

What the hell? I hear laughs and ohms, throughout the whole room.

He tells him while throwing his arm over my shoulder, "This man not only has single-handedly broke all the quarterback records here but, he won us our championship tonight". Now that's actually the nicest thing he has ever said to me.

He continues "I had the privilege of watching one of the greatest events I've ever seen unfold today. One of Tanner's ladies I think her name was Gill, hit me up and to my surprise she comes directly to our room and fucks Tanner before our game!"

Now that shits a damn lie, I don't want to break his parade though so he keeps going "I watched her take off her clothes and tongue fuck him, so here's to the biggest player I've ever known!" I can't believe he just told them that, I didn't even touch her.

They know I've been seeing a girl and I've kept Ellie away from them because once they know how serious I am, they will want to fuck her and I'm the only man she's going to do that with as long as there is breath in my body. They know now though, I made her public, because I will have an engagement ring on her finger this time next year. They just don't know that Ellie is the love of my life, they probably think she's a girl I fuck. She can't be farther from that.

I slap Chad on the head angrily, he had no right telling them something that didn't even happen.

"Don't fucking say that, she's off limits." I whisper to him as he stills. I don't know where it comes from but the feel song of protecting her, it just happens naturally for me.

One of the guys asks, "Hey man, what's your secret to fucking all the hot girls?"

I think about Ellie, she's the only one I've been with in eight months, but I know that being with her is all I want to do for the rest of my life. I just don't want to hear crap for being pussy whipped at 19 years old from a bunch of dicks.

I'll be nineteen in a few months ago anyway. I'll be twenty soon, I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

I tell him the truth about me and Ellie, "I don't have a secret, she just came to me; but you have to make sure you keep her happy, comfort her and keep her full of dick." I tell him bluntly, they all start cheering thinking I'm talking about my conquest's but honestly it's my relationship.

Ellie literally walked right into my life, she came and messed up everything I had planned but, all for the better and I always make sure she's smiling, that she knows I'm here for her and that I don't want her to be sexually frustrated. It's not about that though, I love her. I just can't let them know I do or the endless amount of shit I'm going to get won't stop.

I've never felt more connected to anyone having sex. I love her soft moans, her whimpers and her dirty mouth. I love when she touches me and I love her small but long fingers, her hair, her hips, everything.

I was definitely not a virgin when I met her but, having sex with someone you love is completely different that fucking for a release. I can't imagine being with anyone else anymore, she's the one.

I think I knew she was the one after I met her, but the day she spent with my mom and sister, make it clear to me. Sage couldn't be quiet about how much she loved her, and my mom was so happy that Ellie was real.

Coach yells at us to get in the showers so I quickly make my way over and into them, I wash quickly before drying off and putting on our signature sweatpants and pullovers. About five minutes later I walk to the guys telling them what a great season we had, I don't want to be remembered as the rude dick. I just want to get to Ellie and celebrate our way.

After, I tell everyone goodbye I walk out the door and am met by Gillian, again for the second time today. I look over trying to find Ellie but I don't see her anywhere, she must still be walking down the tunnel to get here.

"What the fuck do you want?" I ask her questionably as I keep walking past her and she follows me.

She smiles and starts, "Us, you pushed me away before we could talk." She demands rubbing her hand down my arm as I pull it off.

"No, you took your fucking clothes off, that's not talking" I tell her.

She laughs at me before saying "Oh really because you didn't mind claiming to fuck me to your teammates. You also ate me out in a hall closet months ago! I must have been good." That was a fucking mistake.

"I ate you out because you begged for it. Not because I wanted to. How do you know what we were talking about? That shit has nothing to do with you." I tell her as she stops in front of me.

"Tanner the door was left cracked, the walls are thin and you all were screaming, It's kind of obvious" she says while rolling her eyes.

"Fine, talk. What do you want?" I ask trying to get this shit over with so I can find Ellie. I look around the stairs and see a glimpse of brown hair but it's not her, the girls ass isn't Ellie's ass. I know what Ellie looks like from behind, I know exactly what she looks like everywhere.

"I'm transferring here next semester, and I want to get to know each other more than just fuck buddies, I really care about you Tanner. My dad, he's not-, he's not happy with me and my mom is trying but you know how bad it is. Tanner I love you, and I will always love you. Why can't you love me back? We were perfect, the head cheerleader and the hot quarterback. We fit, I'm coming to Alabama to cheer, and I just want us back. I'll do anything to be able to be with you. What do you want? I'll do it all." She demands as I look down at her. Her dads a fucking asshole, and the only reason her mother and her had someone to look after them was because of me. I have connections and I made sure they were okay, but Gillian took it the wrong way. Her family is loaded, but money doesn't buy love.

I take her hands off of me and start, "I have a girlfriend, I don't know how else to say this but I don't want a relationship with you. Gillian you're codependent on me because you don't have anyone else, but their is someone who's going to love you like they should one day." I tell her as tears whelp in her eyes.

"Tanner don't do this. Please, I'm here for you. I love you so much. You can't tell me you don't love me, I've been at your feet forever. I'll be her, whatever you want I'll be it." She tells me as she steps closer. "Tanner please." She whispers as she hugs herself into my chest. This has always been the moment I've caved for her. Whenever this used to happen, I'd always tell her that it would be okay, and that I'd try. But now, but now, I'm in love with the woman waiting for me.

"Gillian" I whisper prying her off of me as I look down at her.

"I love someone else. Gill she's beautiful, she's amazing, she's everything I didn't think I wanted in a woman. But she keeps me in line and I love her." I tell her as I smile thinking about Ellie.

She looks up at me and raises an eyebrow as she wipes her tears, "So, she wouldn't happened to be named Ellie would she?" She asks.

"How the fuck do you know that?" I snarl as she wipes her face and glares at my head.

"We met, about fifteen minutes ago. You're right, she talked to me without thinking twice about who I was. But she left heartbroken after what you said about her. She loves you" she tells me while crossing her arms. This is the most mature Gillian has ever been. She heard me, she fucking heard me. I'm screwed.

"Where is she at?!" I ask as I get looks and she stills.

"Oh, now you want to talk? She heard what a fantastic guy you were through the door, she was standing there when I got here. She introduced herself and we talked for a few minutes. She's a really nice girl. She however broke out into tears when Chad said that we fucked. If you love her so much why keep me a secret? She should know about me then." She tells me as she glares at my head.

"I am not your man! Where is she at?" I say and grab her arm, I have to clear up this bullshit, she thinks that I'm cheating on her.

She snatches it out of my grasp and starts, "She left, about ten minutes ago, she was crying and went running to her car, let's just say your single now. I want us Tanner and she doesn't care about you if she just runs away!" She demands as I instantly walk away from her.

"Tanner don't go." She demands walking behind me as I pick up my pace into a sprint. I grab my truck keys and sprint out of the building leaving Gillian. I don't give two shits about what she wants, I want Ellie.

I immediately pull out my phone and call her. She doesn't answer, as my pulse increases. She never does that and it's two times today she's been distant.

I sprint out of the door and to my Bronco, I speed all the way to my dorm which takes a total of one minute and 45 seconds. I call her again from my car and it goes directly to a line that speaker, "The number you have called can not be reached at this time", she sent my calls straight to voicemail.

"Baby please be here" I whisper. I don't see her car anywhere, hopefully she's in my room waiting on an explanation or something. I need her to be there. I roll into the parking lot seeing her cry her eyes out as she sits in her car and I feel the blow hit my gut. Her backseat is full, she's taken all of her stuff.

No, no, no.

I sprint to her window before tapping on it continuously as she sobs. I hurt her, and I can't live with doing that to her. She's sobbing her eyes out and the only thing I can see her say softly is that I cheated on her when I know I didn't. And then she's out of my fingers when she disappears onto the freeway leaving me completely crushed. I just hope she's not leaving for good, she's got to come back. I drive back to my dorm room and pray somethings still there.

I open the door and I am met with the worst sight of my life. Everything's gone that she had here, her underwear aren't on the fan, he clothes aren't on my bed or in my closet and her shoes aren't by my desk.

She took all of her stuff, every last bit of it. I'm speechless, I walk in with tears in my eyes. I reach the bathroom and see that her makeup and toothbrush is gone. Along with all of her endless hair products for her hair that's so long are gone.

I walk back to my room and reach my bed. All of my tees and hoodies she has every worn are sitting there folded neatly. I see a bag and box next to it.

I pick up the box next to them and see that it's my Christmas gift's. I open it slowly, and realize she got me the customized Nike Jordan's I wanted, I knew they were expensive and I remember telling her vaguely one day how cool they looked and how much I would like them. She bought them though, and I know she does not have much money. I can't believe she would spend so much.

I find the bag and take out the tissue paper. I open it and my tears break loose when I see it. Every single picture we have taken over the past eight months is in it. The selfie she took while kissing my cheek, the picture we took when she ran onto the field to see me, the large screen photo of me kissing her before my game caught on the stadiums kissing camera, one of me pitching her butt while she was in my arms smiling, my favorite picture of her laying in this bed with nothing but my tee, and endless others. She placed them all so that a single one is not out of place.

The look in our eyes is priceless, we look so happy and in love. The bottom says I LOVE YOU TAN! in her hand customized writing. I lay it down on my bed and lean back. I feel something behind my back so I reach behind me and pull it out. I sit up and turn around when I see it.

Gillian's bra, she found it, I knew I should have thrown it away but it slipped my mind. I was so worried about my game I didn't even think about it. I rip that thing apart and walk into Chad's room putting it in his trash. I can't even look at it.

Coming back to my room and reaching beside where the bra was, I see a piece of paper with her necklace on it. She gave it back, she's done with me. I pull open the paper and cover my hand on my mouth as I read what she wrote in her famous straight and precise handwriting.

I can't breathe, the words hit me so fucking hard. I can't even tell her I never cheated, and that it didn't mean what she though it did, she's breaking me. She's gone and I can handle losing the woman who I was going to marry.

That's it. She just left it here with her necklace, it is her's. I don't care if she broke up with me, this was her's. She won't even talk to me, she hates me. I cry into my hands, a full blown man sob. I've never cried before over a girl but she is my world, was my world.

This can't be it, this can't be the end. I love her so damn much I choose her over football and this is what I get in return.

I sob into my hands for a hour before I fall asleep holding my hoodie to my face because it smells just like her, while holding her necklace in my hand as I pray to God he brings her back.

I'd pick her over football, I'd do it.