"To my dear Ant,

I know I've probably said all of this before,but I wanted to write it down so you'll always have something there to read anytime you're having a bad day or feeling down!Or maybe just because you are missing me as much as I'm miss you.

Dear Ant,I promise you this comes from the heart.You are truly the bravest person I know,you've been through so much and are still fighting.

I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and how much i love you.You're working so hard to get your life back on track and I know how incredibly difficult that must be!Yes you've had a relapse since your first stint in rehab but you are dealing with it admirably and I know how dedicated you are to your recovery!"

By now tears were pouring down Ants cheeks at Decs kind words,he carried on reading...

"I hope you understand just how much you mean to me?"

"I do" Ant whispered tearfully himself

"It's just practically impossible to put it into words,but I am at least going to try" Dec continued "You are a very special person and I thank God every day that you came into my life.Auditioning for Byker Grove was no doubt the best thing I've ever done as it brought us together,I can't begin to imagine what my life would have been like without you in it,it would have been so empty.No one could could ever fill your shoes!

I am so sorry for what you are having to go through,I'd do anything to help you get better.You have so much love and support out here.Everyone knows you made a mistake,but also accept that you are ill so are not yourself.None of the fans want you replaced or for me to go it alone without you,they are all desperate for you to be back by my side where you belong as am I!

So until we're together again,please stay strong and concentrate on your recovery,that is all that matters at the moment.I know you can do this my friend and remember,even when we're not together,I'll be thinking of you,I've got your back always!"

Dec signed off his name and Ant counted the 29 little kisses,he knew there was one kiss for every year they'd known each other.

"Soppy little git" Ant mumbled to himself as he held the card close to his chest,overwhelmed by Decs loving words.He stayed in that moment with tears flowing freely down his face for a couple of minutes before peering down at the picture on the front of the card and smiled.He hadn't even noticed it before,having been so keen to open it and read what was written on the inside.He laughed at the picture,it was of a small dog alongside a much larger one and Ant knew it represented their dogs Rocky and Hurley.

That night they both went to bed alot happier than they'd been in a long time,Decs visit lifting both of their spirits immensely.

When Ant awoke the next morning,he smiled at Decs card that he'd placed on the bedside table.He picked it up and read the wonderful message again,filling his heart with warmth.He then decided he'd like to do the same for Dec,to tell him how he felt so he could also read it when things got too much!

He managed to persuade one of the staff members to go out later that day to buy a few cards that he said were for a special friend,then he would choose from the ones they brought back.

Once the staff member returned,he laid the assortment of cards out on the bed.Rummaging through them,one stated in big gold letters on the front 'To an amazing friend' with a picture of two teddy bears hugging

"That's the one" he smiled to himself

He immediately started writing,keen to be as honest and heartfelt as Dec was in his card.

"Dear Decky,

Thank you so much for your beautiful card and kind,loving words.You gave me so much hope and encouragement and are keeping me positive.I am just so grateful,knowing I have you on my side to fight my corner!

I seriously don't know what I would have done without you,I know i would have given up all hope.You keep me going,you keep me strong,you keep me feeling loved and I genuinely believe without a doubt that you keep me alive,I would have just wanted to curl up in a ball and die without you,I know I would!

Thank you so much for being my friend,for always being there for me,for loving me unconditionally,for understanding me,for never giving up on me.You are an amazing,beautiful,kind soul and are so loved by me and all those around you.

I just hope you know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me?I will always be so grateful for that,you are my rock and I can't wait for us to be together again to face the world as a United duo.

I will get better,I promise you that and I'll never let you down again!You deserve better and I will give it wholeheartedly this time.

I'm so looking forward to coming to stay with you and Ali and I promise I will spend the rest of my life making up for the stress and worry I've caused you,from the bottom of my heart I assure you I will!

So my dear friend,this is the start of the rest of our lives together as a friendship,a partnership,a duo which I know will be as amazing as the last 29 years with you have been.

I love you and am so thankful for all you have done for me,I will never forget it.

All my love

Ant.xxx"

He sealed the envelope and placed it in the bedside drawer to await Decs next visit.

The following Friday soon came around and this time Ant ran out to the car park to greet Dec,waving enthusiastically as he pulled up in the car,huge smiles on both of their faces.

Dec was slightly early again and as he climbed out of the car Ant joked

"I wish you'd always be this early"

Decs timekeeping had always been the bane of Ants life and it drove him crazy.

"Nice to see you too" Dec grinned before closing the car door and practically leaping into Ants arms once again.Ant scooped him off his feet and swung him around like a small child before placing him back down and holding him tightly in his arms as Dec returned the embrace.

They held each other warmly,both crying happy tears.

"Come on" Ant smiled,leading Dec to his room "I've got something to tell you"

Dec was delighted to see Ant looking so happy,wondering what his news could be.

They sat down on the sofa in the corner of the room.

"You've obviously got good news?" Dec questioned "you're positively beaming"

"I have" Ant replied,a grin spreading even wider across his face

"They're letting me go home"

"Ant that's brilliant,they must be so pleased with your progress?I knew you could do it,I never doubted you for a moment,I'm so proud of you.When?when can you come home?" Dec was so excited,he felt like a kid at Christmas,knowing he was about to get his best friend back,it was the best possible news.

He hugged Ant tight,kissing him all over his cheeks and forehead.

"Calm down will ya" Ant laughed

"I can't help it,I'm just so happy" Dec replied gleefully

"When?" He asked again

"On Thursday" Ant smiled

"Really?that soon?that's less than a week away and I was so looking forward to our Friday visits " Dec teased.

"Shut up you" Ant laughed and pulled him in for another hug.

It had been so long since either of them had felt this happy.

"There is one thing though" Ant said "I have to carry on with my therapy programme at home,for the time being at least"

"Ah ok,how do you feel about that?" Dec enquired

"I'm fine with it,at least I'll be at home and free to see my loved ones whenever I like,that's what I've missed the most being here" Ant smiled "it's all for my own good"

"It's such good news" Dec said thoughtfully "but does this mean you won't be coming to stay with us?" The look of disappointment was clearly evident in his eyes.

"I was So looking forward to having you around,can you still come if you're having home therapy?" he could feel the tears stinging his eyes.

"Hey" Ant held Dec close,comforting him lovingly "of course I can still come,I'll just have to pop home for the sessions or can even have them at yours,it's not a problem!They think I should stand on my own two feet as soon as possible and get back to some sense of normality.But the fact I was coming to stay with you when I leave here played a big part in their decision to let me go home,so of course I'll still be coming to stay,I'll be there on Thursday so get the spare room ready!"

Dec smiled through his tears "great,I can't wait"

Ant hugged him again then moved back a bit so he could see Decs face,he gentlly wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.

"Hey little one,I've caused you to cry so many times recently and I'm truly sorry for that.I hate that I've done that to you but we've now got better times ahead,things can only get better right?"

He walked over to the bedside table and pulled the card that he'd so lovingly written out of the drawer

"I've got something for you" he handed it to Dec "I was so touched by the card you gave me last week and your beautiful,loving words.It gave me such strength,as you do.Thank you so much,I just wanted you to know how I feel too so I've written it all down the best I can"

"Thank you" Dec whispered "can I open it now?"

"Up to you?" Ant replied "you can if you want to"

"I do want to,I want to read your words while I'm with you" Dec smiled

They decided to move over and relax on Ants bed while he read the card, snuggling close to each other.

Dec began to read to himself,Ant studied his face as he did so.

Tears were welling up in Decs eyes once again and by the time he'd finished reading,they were freely cascading down his cheeks.He folded the card over and kissed it,before turning to Ant.

"Thank you" he whispered through gentle sobs "it was beautiful,I'll keep it forever"

He kissed Ants forehead again,leaving his lips fully on his skin for a few moments,

"I love you Ant" he said affectionately

"I love you too" Ant replied "and I can't wait for Thursday"

"Me neither" Dec replied while wiping his tears away.

They spent the afternoon as they had the previous week,having lunch,an hour in therapy,then the rest of the time just hanging out in Ants room,chatting,laughing and hugging as only two very close friends could.

When 5 o'clock came around,neither of them felt as sad as they had the Friday before,knowing it just meant Thursday was getting closer.

Ant walked Dec to the car where they hugged tightly.

"See you Thursday" Ant smiled "love you"

"Love you too" Dec replied "yes,see you Thursday,I'll pick you up,let me know what time you'll be leaving?"

"Will do" Ant said cheerfully as Dec got into the car.He waved happily as he watched Dec drive away,none of the hurt present that he'd felt last week when he left.

They both left each other with joy in their hearts,just willing the following Thursday to come around!

Dec couldn't wait to get home and tell Ali the good news.He burst through the front door of their home calling out to her

"Hi baby" she greeted him with a loving kiss "I'm guessing by the big smile on your face that he's doing well?"

"He's coming home" Dec excitedly informed her "on Thursday"

"Oh sweetheart,that's great,he's still coming here right?can't wait to see him"

"Yes he's coming here" Dec replied "I'm going to get his room ready"

"Slow down" Ali laughed "we've got loads of time if he's not coming till Thursday,and it's not like there's much needing to be done to it"

"It's going to be so great" Dec grinned as he kissed his wife.

Ali couldn't hide her delight at seeing her sweet,sensitive husband with so much joy in his heart after an unbearable few weeks.

Everything was going to be ok!