《dream girl ✿ hermione granger》xxii. blonde ferret at diagon alley
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"I cannot look at it," Erin passed the envelope with her O.W.L.s results to her parents who were sat at kitchen table opposite to her.
Her mother, although Erin was not sure if she can still call her that, sighed. "I am absolutely sure you've done great! Right, Elias?"
"Of course, you did. You got the Mckinnon genes," her father said, receiving a glare from Gwendolyn. "And the Hughes genes," he quickly added.
The man passed the envelope back to his daughter and gave her an encouraging nod. Erin inhaled and exhaled deeply before opening it.
With a last glance at her parents, she read it.
Erin Marlene Mckinnon received;
Astronomy A
Care of Magical Creatures E
Charms O
Defence Against the Dark Arts O
Herbology P
History of Magic O
Potions E
Transfiguration E
Study of Ancient Runes E
Erin grimaced at the "Poor" for Herbology but she was surprised she hasn't gotten D or T.
She watched her parents reactions; all of them smiled, eyes lighting up.
"Honey, that's so great!" said Gwendolyn, clapping.
"Indeed," nodded Elias. "Hate to admit it but you've done better than me. I'm so proud of y- hey, what's wrong? Why are you not happy?"
Erin shrugged. "It could have been better, couldn't it?"
"Oh, don't say that! Me and dad are so proud of you!"
"But the Herbology-"
"Herbology sucks!" said Elias. "You won't need it for the future unless you want to become Herbologist and you don't want to become that, right?"
Erin shook her head. "No. . ."
"Exactly," her mother smiled. "Your grades do not define your worth."
Erin could have tear up at that.
Her father nodded. "Wise words! And now, what do you say about ordering your favourite pizza?"
***
The next day, Erin, along with the Golden Trio walked into Madam Malkin's shop.
It appeared, at first glance, to be empty, but no sooner had the door swung shut behind them than they heard a familiar voice issuing from behind a rack of dress robes in spangled green and blue.
"... not a child, in case you haven't noticed, Mother. I am perfectly capable of doing my shopping alone."
Erin scoffed. "Blonde ferret at Diagon Alley."
"Now, dear, your mother's quite right, none of us is supposed to go wandering around on our own anymore, it's nothing to do with being a child —"
"Watch where you're sticking that pin, will you!"
Draco Malfoy strode to the mirror and examined himself; it was a few moments before he noticed Erin, Hermione, Ron and Harry reflected over his shoulder. His light gray eyes narrowed.
"If you're wondering what the smell is, Mother, two Mudbloods just walked in," said Malfoy.
"If you're wondering what the smell is, Madam Malkin, I strongly believe you have an ugly, arrogant and dirty ferret in here," said Erin.
"I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you," replied Narcissa Malfoy in a cold voice.
"What are you gonna do? Kill me? Won't be the first nor the last one."
The women pulled her wand from her robes and pointed it at her. Harry, Hermione and Ron did the same but at Narcissa and Draco.
"I don't think there's any need for language like that!" said Madam Malkin, scurrying out from behind the clothes rack holding a tape measure and a wand. "And I don't want wands drawn in my shop either!" she added hastily, for a glance toward the door at them.
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"Yeah, like you'd dare do magic out of school," sneered Malfoy. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."
Erin stepped forward, pulling her wand from her pants. "You fu—"
"That's quite enough!" said Madam Malkin sharply, looking over her shoulder for support. "Madam — please —"
Narcissa Malfoy strolled out from behind the clothes rack.
"Put those away," she said coldly to Erin, Harry and Ron. "If you attack my son again, I shall ensure that it is the last thing you ever do."
"Really?" said Harry, taking a step forward and gazing into a smoothly arrogant face. "Going to get a few Death Eater pals to do us in, are you?"
Madam Malkin squealed and clutched at her heart.
"Really, you shouldn't accuse — dangerous thing to say — wands away, please!"
But Harry did not lower his wand. Narcissa Malfoy smiled unpleasantly.
"I see that being Dumbledore's favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won't always be there to protect you."
Harry looked mockingly all around the shop. "Wow ... look at that ... he's not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!"
Malfoy made an angry movement toward Harry, but stumbled over his overlong robe. Ron and Erin laughed loudly.
"Don't you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter!" Malfoy snarled.
"It's all right, Draco," said Narcissa, restraining him with her thin white fingers upon his shoulder. "I expect Potter will be reunited with dear Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius."
Harry raised his wand higher.
"Harry, no!" moaned Hermione.
"Harry, yes!" said Erin.
Hermione grabbed his arm, attempting to push it down by his side. "Think ... You mustn't. ... You'll be in such trouble. ..."
Madam Malkin dithered for a moment on the spot, then seemed to decide to act as though nothing was happening in the hope that it wouldn't. She bent to Malfoy, who was still glaring at them all.
"I think this left sleeve could come up a little bit more, dear, let me just —"
"Ouch!" bellowed Malfoy, slapping her hand away. "Watch where you're putting your pins, woman! Mother — I don't think I want these anymore —"
He pulled the robes over his head and threw them onto the floor at Madam Malkin's feet.
"You're right, Draco," said Narcissa, with a contemptuous glance at Hermione, "now I know the kind of scum that shops here. ... We'll do better at Twilfitt and Tatting's."
"The only scum here is your son and you, Issa," called Erin.
Narcissa stopped in her tracks and turned around very suddenly so Draco almost bumped into her.
"What have you just called me?"
From the corner of her eye, Erin could see her wide-eyed girlfriend watching her, silently begging not to do anything stupid.
Erin, in fact, did not mean to call the woman Issa. It just happened. Sometimes she spoke without thinking about it first and that was exactly what happened then.
"I believe you heard me correctly."
Narcissa stayed quiet. She grabbed her son's hand and walked out of the shop.
"Are you crazy?" whisper-yelled Hermione when the Malfoys were out of sight.
"Only for you, darling."
"Don't do that!" warned the Gryffindor. "She knows something now!"
Erin rolled her eyes. "If she's just as stupid as the ferret, then we're safe."
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"Didn't you see the way she looked at you?"
"Well, I hope not the way I look at you."
"Erin, can you take this seriously for a second?"
The Slytherin shrugged. "Sure, I can."
"Well-"
"Oops, the second already passed, sorry."
"As much as humouring to watch you two is," said Ron, "me and Harry have no idea what are you talking about."
"Yeah," agreed Harry. "What did you call Malfoy's mother 'Issa' ?"
"Cause her name's Narcissa."
Harry, Ron and Hermione gave Erin the same look.
"Fine," she groaned. "We should go somewhere else. No offence to Madam Malkin but she is not a person I would tell this."
***
"So let me get this straight," said Ron.
Erin shook her head. "Wrong way, Ronald."
"Well, let me get this in your lesbain—"
"Lesbian."
"—way," Ron finished. "You may be related to Malfoy."
"And not only him," said Hermione. "Also Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange—"
"That makes me feel so much better that I'm related to psychopaths."
Hermione frowned. "But there's also Andromeda Tonks, Dora, Sirius and his brother. . ."
"Who was a Death Eater," reminded Harry.
"As I'm thinking about it," said Erin, "am I also related to you, Ron?"
"You are! Nice to meet you, my favourite cousin!" The ginger boy shook the Slytherin's hand.
"Will you talk to your mum about it?" Harry asked and Erin shrugged.
"I already tried to but how am I supposed to ask it? Maybe it's not even true. I thought about talking to Andromeda first. She's most likely on the picture, after all, and Narcissa, too. But, let's not talk about it now. I believe we have a certain joke shop to visit."
Hand in hand, Hermione and Erin, along with the boys, started walking forward, where they believed the joke shop was.
They only walked about twenty meters when Ron let out a "woah.", stopping in his tracks.
Set against the dull, poster-muffled shop fronts around them, Fred and George’s windows hit the eye like a firework display. Casual passersby were looking back over their shoulders at the windows, and a few rather stunned-looking people had actually come to a halt, transfixed. The left-hand window was dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, popped, flashed, bounced, and shrieked; Erin’s eyes began to water just looking at it. The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters:
WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO?
YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO—
THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION
THAT'S GRIPPING WITH THE NATION!
Harry and Erin started to laugh. They heard a weak sort of moan beside them and looked around to see Mrs. Weasley gazing, dumbfounded, at the poster. Her lips moved silently, mouthing the name “U-No-Poo.”
“They’ll be murdered in their beds!” she whispered.
“No they won’t!” said Ron, who, like Harry and Erin, was laughing. “This is brilliant!”
Ron and Harry led the way into the shop. It was packed with customers; they all almost couldn't get pass them.
“ ‘Patented Daydream Charms …’ ”
Hermione and Erin had managed to squeeze through to a large display near the counter and were reading the information on the back of a box bearing a highly colored picture of a handsome youth and a swooning girl who were standing on the deck of a pirate ship.
“ ‘One simple incantation and you will enter a top-quality, highly realistic, thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens.’ You know,” said Hermione, looking up at Harry and Erin, “that really is extraordinary magic!”
“For that, Hermione,” said a voice behind them, “you can have one for free.”
A beaming Fred stood before them, wearing a set of magenta robes that clashed magnificently with his flaming hair.
“How are you, Harry, Erin?” They shook hands. “And what’s happened to your eye, Hermione?”
“Your punching telescope,” she said ruefully.
“Oh blimey, I forgot about those,” said Fred. “Here —”
He pulled a tub out of his pocket and handed it to her; she unscrewed it gingerly to reveal a thick yellow paste.
“Just dab it on, that bruise’ll be gone within the hour,” said Fred. “We had to find a decent bruise remover. We’re testing most of our products on ourselves.”
"Does this work for hickeys?" Erin asked, scanning the tub. When Fred didn't answer, she looked up only to be met with them all looking at her in confusion. Although, a smirk seemed to be tugging on Fred's lips as Hermione started turning red. "I'm asking for a friend. . . "
"Is that friend you?" Fred asked.
"Maybe. . . "
"Well, we haven't tried it for hickeys yet. . ."
"I'm sure me and Hermione can test it," said Erin and winked at her girlfriend, whose face was still on fire.
Fred cleared his throat. “Come on, Harry, I’ll give you a tour.”
"When did you get so cocky?" asked Hermione when Fred and Harry were out of sight, smiling.
"It's the hair," Erin explained. "New hair, new personality. Don't say you don't like it cause we both know that's a lie."
"I never said anything."
"Good." Erin pecked Hermione's lips, making them both smile widely.
"You both make me sick."
Erin was about to say something very inappropriate when she turned around to see Astoria, Luna and Daphne.
Daphne scoffed. "It's the puking pastilles you took yesterday so you didn't have to visit grandma and grandpa. By the way, thank you very much, I had to suffer alone there!"
"I already said I'm sorry!"
"None betrayal will ever compare to this!"
"Ugh, stop being so dramatic!"
"Both of you, be quiet!" said Luna, surprising them all. The Ravenclaw came closer to Erin and Hermione and gave them both a hug.
After all the greeting, Ginny joined them so the girls spent a few minutes just talking about everything when Fred and Harry came back.
“Haven’t you girls found our special WonderWitch products yet?” asked Fred. “Follow me, ladies. …”
Near the window was an array of violently pink products around which a cluster of excited girls was giggling enthusiastically. The girls, a hung back, looking wary.
“There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.”
Ginny raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do they work?” she asked.
“Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question —”
“— and the attractiveness of the girl,” said George, appearing suddenly at their side. “But we’re not selling them to our sister,” he added, becoming suddenly stern, “not when she’s already got about five boys on the go from what we’ve —”
“Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie,” said Ginny calmly, leaning forward to take a small pink pot off the shelf. “What’s this?”
“Guaranteed ten-second pimple vanisher,” said Fred. “Excellent on everything from boils to blackheads, but don’t change the subject. Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?”
“Yes, I am,” said Ginny. “And last time I looked, he was definitely one boy, not five. What are those?”
She was pointing at a number of round balls of fluff in shades of pink and purple, all rolling around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks.
“Pygmy Puffs,” said George. “Miniature puffskeins, we can’t breed them fast enough. So what about Michael Corner?”
“I dumped him, he was a bad loser,” said Ginny, putting a finger through the bars of the cage and watching the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it. “They’re really cute!”
“They’re fairly cuddly, yes,” conceded Fred. “But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?”
All of the girls looked at him in disbelief.
"Last time I checked," began Erin, "It took you nearly two years before Angie finally started dating you. You should be glad that Ginny has some charms when you obviously don't."
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