《The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal》29 | Precious Metals
Advertisement
-
Kristina's P.O.V.
When I walked into my house, my heart warmed at the smell of lasagna hitting my nostrils.
"Thank you, mom!" I yelled into the abyss, before heading up to my room.
My parents are the kindest people I have ever met; I try and emulate them in everything that I do. Unfortunately, their work hours are in the afternoon so I don't get to see them very often, but they're free on the weekends and we always make sure to make time for each other.
It is also pretty nice that they accept me, personality and all. As long as I don't end up in jail or flunk out of school, they're happy with me. They've approved of my sexuality since the beginning and have even met a few of my girlfriends. They even know about how promiscuous I am. Or should I say was?
Because Adrianna has turned my entire life upside down.
The thought of her had my body release a deep sigh of content, as I plopped myself onto my bed. I don't know how I got lucky enough to have met her, but I am so happy that I did.
I know that sometimes it gets rough and Adri can frustrate me to a point of me wanting to jump off a cliff, sometimes even strangle myself, but she's so worth it. I've never been so amused or breathless around a person as I am with Adrianna.
She's my little psycho and I love her.
Of course, I can't just tell her that. Even though I know the feelings are reciprocated, Adrianna's a little unstable and will most likely try to stab me if the words leave my mouth anytime soon.
And I can't have that. Especially not when things just got good.
My phone rang from my bedside table and I groaned reluctantly before answering it, not even bothering to look at the Caller ID.
"Kris."
The sound of Cole's voice had my body upright and nervous. "Hey. What's up?" I asked nonchalantly despite how hard my heart was thumping.
Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive.
"Is Adrianna with you?" He asked, his voice shaky.
Shit.
"No." I immediately answered, hoping that the next thing I hear is him telling me where she is.
"I'm serious Kristina; If she's there-"
"Cole she's not here." I interrupted, my knuckles turning white from gripping the sheets and my phone so tightly.
"Cole where is she?" I asked. My voice was carrying the same shakiness that Cole's had earlier when he first spoke.
When my ears were met with silence, I immediately hung up the phone and ran downstairs. Adrianna is out in this world, most likely post mental breakdown and with a mind full of bad intentions.
Alone.
Adrianna's P.O.V.
I repeatedly banged my head lightly against the brick wall behind me in an attempt to make all the commotion up there quiet down. What I really need to do to make them shut up is to go home and take my medication.
But home isn't home anymore.
The small reminder made a single tear fall down my cheek, but I didn't bother sobbing anymore. Despite my strong desire to, my eyes have dried up and my throat is so rough sandpaper is jealous. I would just end up sounding like a strangled animal; which probably wouldn't be too bad.
Advertisement
That's what I feel like anyway.
My head tilted up towards the sky, watching the sun fall behind the buildings. It was getting dark, meaning I should probably get up and find shelter from the hobos, potential rapists, and cold.
I stayed in my place.
The thought of going to Kristina briefly crossed my mind, but even though I know Kristina will let me stay with her for a little bit, she'll make me go back eventually and I don't ever want to go back.
I wonder if she knows that I've run away. I wonder if she's looking for me; I hope that she's not. She would be better off eating Sebastio's. But she's Kristina and she's probably doing the opposite of what she would be better off doing.
I tried focusing on the voices outside of the alley, as a mode of distraction. It isn't really working, but it is better than nothing. The screaming has subsided to a mild yelling.
I don't even know why I care so much about making them shut up; they aren't even talking about me. They're calling Cole and, of course, Tabitha crude names. I should be encouraging them, but somewhere deep, deep, and I mean Mariana Trench deep, inside of me I still love Cole.
Even if he is sleeping with the devil.
And the shittiest part about all of this is the fact that Cole might love her. He wouldn't bring the person I hated most in our home unless he either loved her or wanted me to kill them; and since I found them in the position that I did, I doubt that it's the second option.
Eventually, the sun set, and the street became a mix of loud voices and neon signs. Now would really be a good time to move somewhere else.
I got to my feet and fell into place among the crowds of people walking to their twilight destinations. I'll never understand why some people find the night so attractive and welcoming.
The only things I associate with nighttime are nightmares and alcohol. While the majority of the teenage population may enjoy underage drinking, I do not have that liberty. With the medication I'm taking, if I were to ever drink alcohol at a party, some unfortunate soul would most likely find my lifeless body in the middle of the dancefloor.
What a mood killer that would be.
I only half-heartedly looked around for somewhere to use as a shelter because I honestly don't care what happens to me right now. If I get kidnapped, oh well. If I get stabbed, oh well. If I somehow spontaneously explode into a million pieces all over everyone on this street, oh well.
Who is even going to take in a random 17-year old at whatever time of the night it is? What am I supposed to say to them? "Hi. I ran away from home because I had a psychotic breakdown and tried to kill my brother's girlfriend. Can I stay here for the night?"? That doesn't even sound right in my head and I can usually make anything sound like a good idea in my head.
There were mostly just a bunch of stores that were closing up on this street anyway, not a lot of apartment buildings or houses. Maybe I can spend the night in a park. Parks are friendly and have swing sets.
Advertisement
Swing sets won't sleep with the person you hate most.
Parks could have dangerous predators Adrianna. You also told me it was a good idea to throw a vase at the lady who can send us away to a psych ward. It was the heat of the moment; I'm sorry. Your heat of the moment is the reason we're out here right now. Whatever; why don't you just go to Sebastio's. That's the best idea you've had since we were born.
Finding Sebastio's proved to be a little difficult seeing how I had to walk there and was a little lost, but my body has a sixth sense solely dedicated to pizza so it wasn't that hard. Luckily, Sebastio's also stayed open pretty late because they understand the meaning of late-night cravings and how upsetting it can be to not fulfill said cravings.
"Adrianna." Matthew greeted me with a questioning voice from behind the register when I walked inside. I waved back as a reply, ignoring his tone of voice before sitting in the booth in the furthest corner. Matthew is pretty nice. He's usually the person working when Kristina and I come in to order. He knows our order by heart and sometimes slips us extra slices of pizza for free. The one thing wrong with Matthew is that he doesn't know that I'm crazy.
No one at Sebastio's knows that I'm crazy.
I usually don't have time to be crazy at Sebastio's because I am always stuffing my face with pizza and pizza is on my very short list of things that don't make me want to hurt someone. So as happy as I should be to be in a place where people treat me like I'm normal, right now I could end up saying something that costs me another safe space, and that is only making me more anxious.
"Adrianna..." Matthew spoke slowly, as he walked up to my booth. Maybe he does know that I'm crazy and has chosen to approach with caution. Usually, I would be mad at the universe for putting a giant sign that read "Caution: Crazy" over my head, but I don't really mind right now.
I just looked up at him, waiting for him to continue speaking.
"Adri...your head is bleeding." He whispered quietly.
I tilted my head slowly before bringing my hand up to my forehead. My eyes closed in slight discomfort when blood dampened my fingertips, not because of the pain, but because I couldn't feel any actual pain.
A few more exploratory touches told me that my injuries were because of the vase. The first vase didn't hit her nor did the chair, and the second vase that did hit her shattered onto me. I walked into a room, had my heart broken, tried to break said heartbreaker, and ended up with a face full of glass. I'm just so full of luck today.
And glass shards apparently.
When I opened my eyes again, I found that Matt was staring at me. I can tell that he's waiting for me to say something, but I don't really have anything to say to him. Like I said earlier, I don't really care what happens to me. Having a face full of glass might not have been on the list of things I thought could happen to me, but I still don't care.
"I'm going to go call Kris." He whispered, before walking back towards the counter.
I opened my mouth to object, but yet again didn't have anything to say. This is probably for the best anyway. My head has been bleeding for who knows how long and Kris is way better than a hospital or Cole.
Matthew and Kristina had an extremely short conversation, meaning she already knew that I was missing. I wonder if that means that she's going to tell Cole that I've been found. She's loyal, but if Matthew told her that I have a bunch of glass in my face she may be more inclined to call him.
When Matthew came back over, he offered a bottle of water to me. He didn't say anything, which made me feel a little better because it meant that I'm not the only one who doesn't know what to say.
Now is probably a good time to figure out what to say to Kris. I could just tell her the whole story, but not even Kris will congratulate me for throwing vases and chairs at somebody. Especially since the throwing of those objects got me a face of glass.
Should I be concerned that I can't feel the glass? No, it's just the adrenaline. I have no more adrenaline; I am literally just dozens of pounds of skin with working legs at this moment. Adrianna, you have been fighting off a good majority of the voices in your head, without your medication, for a good few hours. I can hear you and a couple others just fine. There are so many more and you know it.
I wonder what would happen if I allowed them all to just flood in. The things that they would say and tell me to do. The ones I've heard so far have been on my side, telling me that I was justified in trying to kill Tabitha. At the same time, I know those are the very same voices who have told me once before that it was right to try and kill myself.
The voices are not good people. They're selfish and rude. There are only two voices I trust myself to have a conversation with. One of them convinced me to throw the vase but has apologized for it. I haven't heard from the other one in months, ever since Dani left me and I went to the psych hospital, and will probably never hear from again. Things like me throwing vases and pushing people away got to be too much for her. I understand that.
But I miss her so very much.
Advertisement
Young Alpha, Little Mate
No one even knew that it was possible, but seeing is believing.Usually werewolves meet their mates after they meet their wolves for the first time when they are 16 years old. What will happen when the young alpha meets his mate at the age of 6?Alana is a small abused 5 year old, Elijah is a overprotective 6 year old alpha. They have a connection like no one has seen before.What will happen if soulmates meet as such a young age?♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡This is my first book ever! There might be some spelling/grammar mistakes, it might be cliche. Who knows? Let's see what happens... I hope you enjoy!Comment and Vote!Pictures are from the internet and does not belong to me.
8 492Billionaire's nanny
A story about a girl named Tina white desperately in need of a job and just came out of high school . She was a straight A's student but cannot continue going to college with her reasons.A story about Ashton knight who has it all but still needs a nanny for his three old son named Andrew knight . A story about love, betrayal, ex wife, mother and a lot of twist and turns to revolve around . Again you have been warned this can be cliched for some and not for some . All characters belong to the author and please dont try to copy the plot and story..
8 193The Bone Cutter
Inanis Messor is The Bone Cutter. He's America's most fierce and cursed celebrity. He's America's modern prophet. He's America's very own murderous darling. Inanis's job is to broadcast a live death on public television once a month, as a sacrifice to the public. Every month on the 15th, Inanis steps on a large, vibrant stage, in front of dozens of cameras, and executes a living political individual as repentance for the sins of America's government. It keeps the public satisfied. It keeps the government from having to own up to their mistakes.Mirea Dhalmi is the daughter of a famous state governor; a man who involves himself in every political discussion the media has to offer. But when he's chosen to be Inanis's next victim, Mirea desperately pleads with The Bone Cutter to spare his life. Inanis agrees, but at a price. Mirea must now become his bride, his public display. She becomes The Bone Harvester, the woman who stands beside The Bone Cutter on the bloody stage that is broadcasted throughout public television.The unfortunate woman who stands beside the celebrity who kills in front of the nation.
8 207His Belleza
Book 1 of the [His Everything] series.Amélie Levine Beaumont is the - first female - heir to the French Mafia (the second largest and most powerful mafia in the world). After her mother's unexpected death, Amélie hasn't been the same, and neither has her father. In hopes of making her parents proud, Amélie has been determined to prove her worth of becoming the next mafia leader, to her father, by becoming the world renowned assassin "La mère de la mort" [The Mother of Death]. However, when she is deemed as an unworthy disappointment by her father, who will she seek comfort and reassurance from? Who will help heal the scars that mark her heart? Romeo Angelo Basilio is the leader of the Italian Mafia (the largest and most powerful mafia there is). He is known as the most incomprehensible, cold-hearted killer, who shows no mercy nor love except to his sisters. When Romeo's mother died (when he was 13) at the hands of his father, Romeo swore that he'd never let anyone love him if love was as tragic as his parents made it seem to be. Without his mother or an acceptable father figure, Romeo had to step-up and become the leading father figure in his four younger sister's lives. But when he feels as though he is a worthless entity, who will he seek comfort and reassurance from? Who will help heal the scars that mark his heart?Will an arranged marriage be the answer to all their problems?Will they find love through this arrangement?Will they help each other heal from their past?Will contain:-Smut-Mentions death-Mentions abuse-Mentions rape Started : 11/07/2022Finished: /#1 in Assassin (8/8/22)#2 in Donna (16/10/22)
8 178My Mate Is Who?
"What now?" She asked. "I don't know. I guess tell our families." I replied. "No!" She said pushing me away. I growled. "Why not?""We're girls. Our families won't accept it." She pointed out.I growled again and Rachel put her hand on my arm. "Let's just not tell them.""Why, because we're girls? How long do you wanna hide this Rachel? Until our families think that Austin is your mate or that Colton's mine? Or they'll send us away to find our mate because they'll think we haven't found each other? How long Rachel? Tell me." I told her sternly.She looked down and I continued. "I have no shame in us being together but you do. You're ashamed of me because we don't fit society's vision as a couple. Well let me tell you something, fuck what society and our families say."Rachel and her family are new to the Blood Moon pack. When she gets there she instantly finds her mate. But it's not who she thinks it is.
8 356[BL]The Little Merman
Author : Du LaiStatus: CompleteStatus in COO: 92 Chapters+6 ExtrasJiang Yu was a small mermaid who couldn't sing. He had always felt inferior because of this. Not until he came to shore to find the father of his baby did he discovered that his talent turned out to be acting. Since then, he had trampled on the scum man, going on the acting road all the way, and progressing triumphantly.Qin Shen: ??? You ran away after sleeping with me, and you still call me a scum man?The not yet met Jiang Yu: Oh, it's a small star who wants to hug my thighs.The after contact Jiang Yu: Really fragrant.Qin Shen found that things around him often disappeared, at first it was handkerchiefs, then ties, and then his shirt. And every time he lost something, there will be more pearls around him. One day, he caught all the things he had lost in that room, and he saw a little thief in his pajamas.The little thief Jiang Yu is not happy, pointing at the jar of pearls, I am not a thief, I have money for you.••••✷ PLS DON'T REPORT.✷OFFLINE PURPOSE ONLY ,NOT MINE.if u have any problem with novel u can PM me .DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ.✷IMAGE cover is NOT MINE.✷ Beaware of GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES.
8 80