Dec woke up early the next morning not really having slept very well at all.He looked at the clock on the bedside table and sighed when he saw 6.15am shining at him in bright digital numbers.

He desperately wanted to talk to Ant but knew better than to disturb him so early in the morning,Ant had trouble sleeping at the best of times so there was no way Dec was going to add to that problem,no matter what the situation was.

So he lay in bed,staring at the ceiling,thinking about the day ahead that he was now dreading more than ever and fought to hold his tears in.

At 7am his phone ringing suddenly jolted him out of his thoughts.He smiled to himself when he saw Ants name on the screen.

"Hi Ant,how are you?" Dec asked in the cheeriest voice he could muster up.

"I'm fine" Ant replied "don't worry about me.How are you doing?how was last night with your family?"

"It was fine for the most part" Dec sighed "but me and Martin had a bit of a disagreement" he knew that probably wasn't an accurate description of the previous evenings events,but he just wasn't sure how to put what happened into words.

"Oh Dec,that's not like you two,you're so close" Ant was concerned,a family argument was the last thing any of the Donnelly family needed at this moment in time.

"Yeah I know,it was emotional to say the least,you know what I'm like?" Dec said "unfortunately the paps turned up and Martin understandably didn't take kindly to it.Kind of took it out on me which of course upset me.I guess all of our emotions as well as our tiredness caught up on us.But we talked it through and hugged it out and we're all good now"

"Fucking vultures" Ant snapped "the last thing any of you need is any arguing.Glad you're ok now anyway!

Dec I'll be at the church before you get there,I'll be waiting with open arms and please don't worry about anything,i know today is going to be dreadfully difficult but you can get through this,I'll be there for you"

"Thank you Ant,it really means so much to me that you are here" Dec smiled "you know you are still welcome to come to the house first if you want to?"

Ant had decided against this,mainly because Decs extended family was so huge,it would already be quite a squeeze to get them all into Annes house.As much as Ant had always been treated like part of the family,he knew they took priority in this situation and rightly so!

"No problem kidda,I'm always going to be here for you no matter what,that's what best friends are for.I'll still meet you at the church though,you be with your family and I'll see you later"

They hung up and Dec reluctantly dragged himself out of bed to prepare for the day.He could hear Anne was now up and about and clattering around the kitchen,no doubt preparing breakfast for everyone.She'd always been an early riser,unavoidable really when you've brought up seven kids.As sad as the circumstances were,she was loving having them all under her roof at the same time so she could spoil them.It wasn't long before the delicious smells of sausages and bacon cooking wafted up to tease Decs smelling senses.

He decided to go downstairs to say good morning to Anne.

Anne smiled at him as he sleepily strolled into the kitchen.

"Morning Mam" Dec yawned

"Morning sweetheart" she replied,kissing his cheek as he sat down at the table.

"How is it that my boy who loves his sleep so much is the first out of bed today?" Anne joked

"Just couldn't sleep Mam,too worried about today" Dec quickly looked up at his mothers sad face,feeling incredibly selfish all of a sudden.This woman had lost her husband of many years after all,the father to her children,the love of her life who she was supposed to grow old with.

"Sorry Mam,how are you feeling?"Dec queried

"It's fine Dec,I want to know how you're feeling,he was your father after all.But I'm ok at the moment,just trying to keep busy as I'm sure it will hit me like a ton of bricks later"

"Yeah" Dec agreed,he knew that would happen for all of them.He got up and hugged her.

"I'm going to go and have a shower before breakfast before they all wake up and hog the bathroom"

"Ok sweetheart,it'll be ready by the time you come back down" Anne smiled as she watched her beloved youngest son leave the room.She always worried about him so much,what with his line of work and the pressure and scrutiny he was often put under!

Dec knew what a worrier she was so he very rarely shared any of his concerns with her,choosing instead to always use Ant as a shoulder to cry on and confide in should the need arise,which it often did!

A few hours later,everyone was up,had eaten breakfast and were showered,dressed and ready to go.Martin had helped Dec with his tie,no matter how much he tried,he just couldn't get his fumbling fingers to work properly!

All the family were now gathered at Annes house,Decs brother and sister in laws,nieces and nephews,cousins,aunties and uncles all crammed into every downstairs room.Dec always loved being with them all,he just wished it could have been for a happier occasion.

The funeral cortege soon pulled up outside the house.

'This is it' Dec thought to himself,the time he had willed to stay away had inevitably came around.Anything anyone was saying to him at that point didn't really sink in.

As he stood outside the house,all he could do was stare at the coffin in the front car.He felt numb.How could this be?he couldn't take his eyes off of that long wooden box in front of him.He felt glued to the spot,he was vaguely aware of the occasional arm around his shoulder and a gentle reassuring hand rubbing his back,but he had no idea who they had came from,nor did he care.

He just stared.

How was his beloved father in that box?the man who had shaped him,loved him unconditionally,supported him,always been there for him.How could he just be laying in there,alone,lifeless,cold?Dec couldn't make sense of it and the tears were already flowing.

"Come on sweetheart" he heard the soft,reassuring voice of his Mam as she took him by the hand and led him to the car behind the hearse where his siblings were already waiting.

"How are you doing Dec?" Martin enquired

"I'm ok" he mumbled as he climbed into the car,he really didn't want to talk at that precise moment.

He spent the slow journey to the church just staring out of the window.Anne held his hand the whole way,but the journey was torturous.he actually wished the driver would go faster but obviously that wasn't possible.He now just wanted to get this day over with.He was avoiding staring at the car in front,being very careful to not even accidentally steal a glance.He still couldn't make sense of the fact his dad was in there,it just felt so wrong!

When they arrived at the church,he kept an eye out for Ant who he spotted immediately in front of the church doors.

Ant wasn't sure if he should approach Dec as he was about to begin his pall bearing duties and Ant certainly didn't want to get in the way of that.

Dec soon solved his dilemma by holding his arms out to Ant who quickly ran over to him and took him into his arms,holding him close.Dec wept into his chest.Ant sighed,worried how Dec would get through the funeral if he was already this upset before it had even started.

"You can do this Decky" Ant comforted while stroking one hand up and down his back and resting the other on the back of his head,gently tousling his hair.

"You'll be ok,I'm here for you"

"Thanks" Dec wept quietly "I have to go back"

Dermott patted Dec on the back as he returned to the hearse.

He then had to concentrate solely on being a pall bearer and doing Fonsey proud.The weight on his left shoulder felt almost unbearable but he knew that wasn't from the physical heaviness of the coffin but from the heaviness in his heart.

He was now just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and staring straight ahead,that's all he could do!He was aware that some of their fans had gathered and was trying to ignore the sound of a camera clicking.He felt hundreds of eyes on him as he continued up the aisle,he still stared straight ahead and had started counting how many steps,one,two,three,four.He had no idea how many steps he had counted in the end though,he'd already forgotten!

After the coffin was gently placed down he took a seat next to Anne and she took his hand once again, squeezing it lovingly.

The funeral was actually a mixture of tears and laughter as Martin,Patricia and Dermott got up one by one to share funny tales about their dad.Dec was happy to let them do that and not do it himself.He knew the congregation would barely be able to make head nor tail of what he was saying once he was sobbing his heart out in front of them.

While Martin was speaking,he looked over to his family in the front row.

"Dad was so proud of us all,but especially our Decky" he smiled at Dec who shyly smiled back.

Martin continued "he loved the fact that a whole nation fell in love with our littlen,that blew his mind.He told everyone he met who his famous son was"

Everyone in the church turned to look at Dec,fond smiles on their faces,causing him to blush furiously. He was used to attention but this was different and he felt slightly awkward and looked at the floor.Anne sensed his discomfort and squeezed his hand again.

A few rows back,Ant was also smiling through his tears.

The funeral eventually finished and everyone made their way outside for the burial.

Dec had kind of gone into autopilot by now as he stood at the graveside,refusing to look down while the coffin was lowered into the ground,he didn't want that image in his head for the rest of his life.He didn't really take in anything that was being said during the burial,choosing instead to focus on the airplane high in the sky,that was leaving a white trail.

'I wonder where it's going?' He thought to himself before he snapped out of his thoughts.

It was over!He'd got through it with the help of his family and friends.Many,many tears had been shed,he felt absolutely drained and his eyes felt so sore and tired from the endless weeping.

In the end,he couldn't stop himself stealing a glance at the grave.With a heavy sigh,he backed away from it and went to search amongst the crowds for the one person he really wanted to see-Ant!