《Decs grief》part 2
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It felt like a lifetime to the young Dec,but in reality only about ten minutes had passed before he saw a dark figure in a rain coat running towards him.
Fonsey quickly bent down and pulled his quivering son to his feet,opened his raincoat and wrapped it around Decs entire,tiny body.
"Decky,my boy,it's ok,you're safe now,I'm taking you home" Fonsey lovingly stated.
"Dad,I'm scared" Dec whimpered into his dads chest
"I know,but you're with me now,no harm is ever going to come to you as long as you're with me" Fonsey said "you believe me don't you?"
"Yes Dad" Dec whispered while clinging onto him tightly.
"Now then" Fonsey smiled "me and you are going to run home through this storm,you are going to stay wrapped up inside my coat and my arms will hold you tight all the way home.Your Mam is already waiting with dry towels and hot chocolate,so we best not keep her any longer"
He kissed Decs head "ready?"
Dec nodded sheepishly
"Let's go!" Fonsey smiled as they both set off into the frightening storm.
Dec ran as fast as his little legs would carry him,clinging onto his Dad as much as he could manage in the situation.Fonsey had to run pretty slowly,almost just fast walking so Dec could keep up with him.The rain pounded harshly on both of their heads.
"Nearly home boy" Fonsey shouted through the rain and rumbling thunder before deciding to scoop Dec into his arms thinking it may just be quicker to carry him.They were almost home anyway and a small child like Dec was as light as a feather for a strong man like Fonsey!
They soon arrived home and Fonsey threw the door open where Anne was waiting.Dec entangled himself from Fonseys arms and raincoat and fell into her arms,clinging onto her tightly and soaking her to the skin.Even with Fonseys protection,he couldn't stay dry from the heavy rain.
"Shhh baby, it's ok,you're home safe and sound now" she comforted as Dec snuggled into her motherly arms while letting the tears fall.
"Mam,you're all wet,I'm sorry" Dec whispered,
Anne laughed "Don't you worry about that sweetheart,it doesn't matter,I'm just glad you're home,now let's get you out of these wet clothes shall we?"
She had already brought his clean clothes downstairs and helped Dec get undressed and dried off.He knew he might be getting a little bit old for his Mam to be pampering him like this but he didn't care,he just loved being taken care of and looked after,that was something he would feel his whole life and there were always plenty of people willing to step up and do the job!
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Anne wrapped him up in a huge bath towel that swamped his small frame.
"I don't want to get dressed Mam,can i stay in the towel?it's so soft and cosy" Dec pleaded sweetly.
"Of course you can,as long as you're warm enough?' Anne smiled
"I am" Dec replied and sat down on the sofa next to Martin as Anne handed him a mug of hot chocolate.
"Thanks for getting Dad Mart" Dec whispered and snuggled into his favourite brother.
Martin placed an arm around him "no worries titch,I wasn't going to leave you there was I?silly little squirt"
Since that day under the railway bridge,Decs family and friends had always been absolutely wonderful whenever there was a bad storm.Comforting him if they could,or phoning him to distract him from his inevitable feelings of terror.
Ant especially was particularly helpful,he would drop everything and run through the storm,making the short dash to Decs house a little further up the street in record time to be with him!
But on this present sad day,where they all gathered in Annes house,Decs fear wasn't at the forefront of anyones mind,although not completely forgotten.
Anne peered out of the window "definitely going to be a storm" she sighed,looking at the deep grey sky.
Then a bright light went off very close to her face.
"That wasn't lightning" Martin scowled and made his way to the window "Bloody press,can't they have a day off?" His blood was boiling at the sight of the gutter press collecting outside.
"Oh no,I'm so sorry" Dec bowed his head,knowing it was him they were after.
"I don't fucking believe it" Martin ranted angrily "can't even be left alone in our time of grief,this is all your fault" he pointed at Dec accusingly.
"What?" Dec could feel the tears stinging his eyes.
"Martin" Dermott shouted "that's not fair"
Dec looked at Martin,so hurt by the cutting words coming from the older brother he'd always looked up to adored.He didn't know how to react,so just ran upstairs up to his old bedroom and threw himself down onto the bed,sobbing into the pillow,just as a huge clap of thunder echoed around the room.He subsequently buried his head under the pillow in a feeble attempt to block out the terrifying sound!
Meanwhile downstairs,Martin was already regretting his harsh words,not even knowing why he'd come out with them!
Dermott had proceeded to give him a good telling off.
"Martin you can't be incredibly proud of Decs achievements one minute,then throw them back in his face the next.We're all emotional and upset at the moment but let's not turn on each other eh?It's awful that the press are here,but Decky has to deal with that every day of his life,we need to cut him some slack,you know what a sensitive soul he is.Why don't you go and talk to him?he'll be terrified with this storm"
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"I will" Martin said,getting up "and I'm sorry,I don't know what came over me"
"It's ok" Dermott smiled "now go and see the littlen"
Martin made his way upstairs and quietly opened Decs bedroom door and smiled pitifully at the quivering outline buried beneath the duvet and pillow.
Martin walked over and perched on the edge of the bed just as another loud clap of thunder made the shape of Dec jump and tremble even more.
Martin could hear the muffled sobs of his beloved baby brother and felt incredibly guilty for causing his distress.
He of all people knew first hand just how terrified Dec would be,having been there that day under the railway bridge and during endless thunderstorms since.
"Hey" he whispered gently while trying to coax Dec out from under the pillow so he could see his face,only causing Dec to grip onto it even tighter like a petulant child and not saying a word.
"Come on Decky" Martin cajoled "I'm sorry,please come out"
Dec soon loosened his hold on the pillow and slowly sat up,leaning back against the headboard but still looking downwards,not wanting Martin to see his tear stained face.
"Hey" Martin said softly "you don't have to hide the fact you've been crying from me,it's ok"
Dec looked up at his big brother who was gazing at him adoringly.
"I'm so sorry littlen,I'm so sorry" Martins eyes began to water "I don't know what I was thinking,you're the last person in the world I'd ever want to hurt,please forgive me"
"You're right,it is my fault" Dec sobbed "I don't want them here but they are because of me,they never leave me alone"
Martin couldn't begin to imagine how awful it must be for Dec having his every move photographed and felt more guilty than ever over his little outburst.
"They're gonna upset Mam even more than she already is" Dec cried.
Martin pulled him against his chest,wrapping his arms around his little brothers sad body.
"Nothing is your fault little fella,so please get that idea out of your head.We'll all look after Mam tomorrow so don't worry about that,now can I get one of those adorable smiles that light up a room" Martin teased as he pulled back from the embrace.
Dec really didn't feel like smiling,but managed to force one upon his face to keep Martin happy.
"That's better,I hate to see you cry" Martin said "now are you going to come back downstairs and join us or stay here trembling under the duvet?"
Dec smiled again and held his hand out which Martin took and led him back downstairs.
Everyone looked up as they entered the living room.
"Ok sweetheart?" Anne asked
"I'm fine Mam,sorry" Dec replied in a quiet,slightly embarrassed voice.
He sat down on the sofa and the family chatted until late into the evening.Eventually one by one,they started trailing off to bed,until it was just Dec and Martin once again.
Martin placed a protective older brotherly arm around Dec and kissed his head,Dec willingly snuggled into him.The two men adored each other which is why they'd both been so upset at the evenings unusual events!
"Martin?"
"Yep?"
"I'm scared" Dec admitted
"Scared of what?" Martin enquired intrigued
"I'm scared about tomorrow" Dec replied "I don't want it to come around,what if I break down?what if I can't cope?why did I agree to be a pall bearer?what if I can't do it?" Decs anguished tears were falling once again.
"Hey hey,calm down" Martin soothed "for a start it doesn't matter if you break down,it's a funeral,everyone will be crying,there's no shame in that.We'll all be there for each other,we'll get each other through and if you don't feel like you're up to being a pall bearer,then that's fine,there'll be plenty of other people willing to step in,popular guy dad was!Please don't worry,let's try and get some sleep and see how you feel in the morning shall we?"
He looked at Decs tired and tear stained face.
"I think this cheeky little face that we all love so much needs some rest,you're getting bags under your eyes little Decky" Martin winked.
Dec laughed "yeah I'm exhausted"
They made their way back upstairs together.
Martin waited while Dec got into bed,his brotherly love kicking in big time.He pulled the duvet up to Decs shoulders and kissed his head.Dec felt like a small child being tucked up for the night but he really didn't mind,he still liked being fussed over.
"Goodnight littlen" Martin whispered
"Goodnight bigun" Dec replied and they both laughed.
Dec actually loved the nickname his family had bestowed upon him.They'd done it for as long as he could remember and even though he was now a grown man in his thirties,none of them were showing any sign of stopping using it anytime soon which Dec was happy about!
He rolled over and attempted to get comfortable,already doubtful that he'd get a decent nights sleep.
He closed his eyes while trying to put things out of his mind so he could hopefully drift off into the land of slumber,but he knew that was unlikely.
All he knew was how much he was dreading the day ahead!
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