《written experiments》Hamsterboy (Part 3)
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You know when it's just not your day. Where you think, I should have stayed in bed. We, that would be once me, my annoying sister and Dieter stood in line at Burger King and that already for the second time and exactly here was the problem. We had been through the drive-through earlier and had ordered a menu and two ice creams. Just placing the order had been an adventure.
krskschkrr "Your order, please?" came choppily through the speaker.
"A Whopper menu, please," Dieter addressed the column.
A short pause, then again ...
krskschkrr krskschkrr "Your order, please?"
"A Whopper menu," Dieter now spoke in a raised voice.
Another pause occurred, then again ...
krskschkrr "Your order, please?" ... krskschkrr
With his right, Dieter unfastened his seatbelt, leaned his upper body through the driver's window, and shouted at the pillar, "A whoo-paa-me-nu," he said, dragging out the syllables as if he were communicating with an idiot.
This time the answer dragged on a bit and then came another:
krskschkrr "Your order, please?"
"Damn it," Dieter grumbled, slapping the steering wheel with both hands. "I don't want to order shit!" he bellowed, leaning back in resignation.
krskschkrr "Okay, a Whopper menu," came through the intercom.
"Uh? ..." For a moment Dieter was completely off track, but then took the initiative again and said, "Yes, a big Whopper menu with ketchup and Coke and two caramel ice creams on the side."
krskschkrr "Maxi or regular?" came the question.
"Large Whopper meal with ketchup and Coke," Dieter repeated.
krskschkrr krskschkrr "What kind of drink with the menu?" the faceless voice wanted to know.
"Coke," Dieter repeated irritably, on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
krskschkrr "Mayo or ketchup?" krskschkrr
"Ketchup," Dieter muttered, visibly annoyed. After some back and forth, he was finally able to place the complete order and pull up to the second counter.
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That would actually have settled everything, right (?), if there hadn't been one thing missing from the brown paper bag. Yes, that's right, the Whopper. We now had to go back again, but this time we walked into this crap burger joint and straight to the cash register.
"How can their employee forget a Whopper on the Whopper menu?" outraged Dieter loudly to the shift manager. "You can forget the bag of ketchup once in a while or mix up the drink for all I care, but how do you manage to forget the Whopper in the Whopper menu? Do only bananas work here?"
In short: Dieter finally got his Whopper and we went to the zoo afterwards. The day started already strange, but it should come still much worse.
PS I would not have eaten the Whopper if I had been Dieter. I'm pretty sure the banana has spit in to make his point. But Dieter ate it and even said it was the best burger he'd had in a long time.
(...)
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