We had stopped dancing and we were just staring at each other. My heart was jumping out of my rib cage as I stared up into Chris's eyes which were clouded with desire.

His desire for me.

I would have fallen to the ground if it was not because of Chris's strong arms around me. My heart and mind were screaming at me to just pull him down and kiss him deeply. And the next second my prayers were answered.

His eyes which were now a dark shade of green fell on my lips for a second before they landed on my eyes as if looking for permission.

I wasn't going o back away. I wanted this as much as he wanted it.

I closed my eyes and the next moment I felt wave after wave of complete bliss, warmth, and pleasure surging through my body from where his warm soft lips touched mine. It was heaven and I was lost in it for a few seconds.

And then it was like my body came to life. My hands went up on their own accord and locked behind his neck and my lips began to move in sync with his gentle movements. He tasted so good, a mix of coffee and a faint taste of cigarettes.

At feeling my response, a guttural growl rumbled Chris's chest and he pulled me closer to him by my waist. There was no inch between our hot bodies.

My mind was empty. Empty of any bad thoughts, worries, or nervousness. It was all bliss, pleasure, and peace.

It felt so right.

We pulled away when I was on the verge of passing out because of lack of oxygen. I was dazed, still overwhelmed with the intense feelings of my first kiss. I slowly looked up into Chris's beautiful eyes as the thought slowly sank into my head.

My first kiss.

I touched my lips with my fingertips. I just had my first kiss.

My first kiss!

I really don't know what took over me. Fear? Nervous? Embarrassment? Shock? I really don't know. But my eyes slowly grew wider and the next second I ran away.

God! I ran away!

Different thoughts ran through my head as I opened my way quickly through the pile of teenagers. Why was I running? Was I bad? Had I embarrassed myself? Was it soon? Will Chris care for me anymore? Will he be disgusted with me?

Tears slowly breamed in my eyes. Why was I such a coward and weak girl? Was I really that weak that I didn't have the courage to face the boy I like after kissing him?

Yes! I was!

I couldn't see properly. I was just walking toward the front door quickly when I bumped into someone and was about to fall on my butt but two strong arms caught my shoulders. I looked up to apologize and release myself but came face to face with Ethan.

"Ella!" he said concerend. He frowned instantly when he looked into my glossy eyes. "What's wrong?"

My bottom lip quivered and I was on the verge of crying. "I want to go home." I forced the words out.

Ethan nodded without asking a question and quickly guided me out of the house and toward his car. He quickly covered me with his jacket and turned on the heater before driving away.

"What happened, Eleanor?" he asked sternly not looking at me. "Did Harrington hurt you? Where was he? Were you running away from him?"

At hearing his questions, the dam broke and I began to sob. I couldn't help myself. I had ruined my possible relationship with Chris because of my damn lack of confidence. I had ruined everything for sure.

Ethan cursed under his breath and pulled over. The next thing I knew, He had engulfed me in his arms, caressing my hair.

"Please, Eleanor." pleaded Ethan desperately. "You should tell me what has happened. I saw you with Harrington walking toward the dance floor. Did he try to hurt you? Did he assault you? God damn it, Answer me!"

"No!" I wailed and clutched Ethan's shirt in my hands. "He is gonna hate me. He is hating me for sure. Why did I run, Ethan? But I couldn't stay. I couldn't. I was so overwhelmed."

"Shhhhh, Ella." said Ethan and pulled away to be able to look into my eyes. He wiped my tears and grabbed my shoulders. "Calm down and tell me what happened."

"We ... we kissed." I said and Ethan frowned. He didn't look surprised as if he already knew that would happen. "I wanted it as well. I enjoyed it. But Ethan, It was my first kiss. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I was nervous. Everyone was looking and I didn't know what to do. I ran away. I fucking ran away."

I began to cry again. "He must hate me now." I wailed and hugged myself tightly. "Why can't I act like a normal teen girl for once? Why am I this fool?"

Ethan once again hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder. I hated myself. I was sure even Ethan was thinking about me as an idiot at the moment. But I didn't care. I was only caring about one person's thoughts about me right then.

Chris

What was he thinking about me right at that moment? Why didn't he run after me? Why didn't he stop me? Was he that disappointed?

"I'm sure he was not." said Ethan reassuringly and I found out I was thinking out loud. "I'm sure he was just shocked, not knowing what to do. He might have thought that he has hurt you."

"I hurt his feelings." I cried louder and my heart clenched badly. "It was the night of his victory and I ruined it for him."

"Shhhhh, it's okay." said Ethan and pulled away again. "Don't cry, Eleanor. If he likes you I'm sure he will come after you. Now let's take you home so you can rest. Don't overthink. You can talk to him tomorrow at work."

The thought only made me feel worse. How could I bear the embarrassment of seeing him again? He was going to look at me like an obnoxious creature. He was going to think that I didn't care for him.

"Why did I run?" I cried and hid my face in my hands. "Why didn't I turn back?"

I then suddenly turned to Ethan and grabbed his arm. "Ethan!" I said. "Take me back. I want to see him."

"No!" responded Ethan firmly. "You are in no state of facing him right now. Your thoughts and emotions are all over the place, Eleanor. You will probably run away again and honestly, you look like shit."

I dropped my head and nodded in agreement. He was right.

Ethan sighed frustrated. "Don't cry, Eleanor." he said. "Everything's gonna be alright. You will go home, you will rest and think properly of what you want to say to him. Then go and talk to him tomorrow, like a brave grown-up girl you are. I'm sure you can solve whatever misunderstanding that has happened between you."

The rest of the ride to my house was silent. I was feeling so miserable. By the time we reached my house, my crying had subsided and only single tears would fall down my face.

Ethan didn't say anything as he stopped the car in front of my car. He was waiting for me patiently and I was going to use it selfishly. I wasn't ready to go inside. It was half past ten and I was sure Daisy and Liam were asleep. I needed to be with someone.

"What if the misunderstanding can't be solved?" I asked quietly and looked away from my house only to look at Ethan. "What if he hates me?"

Ethan just looked at me for a few seconds with intense eyes. "Do you care for him?" he asked. "Let me rephrase that. Do you like him, Eleanor?"

I felt my face flushed but I nodded slowly. "I do." I answered in a low voice. "I really do like him."

Ethan pulled me into another hug and kissed my head gently. He then pulled away and gave me his warm smile. "Go home, Ella." he said softly. "Take a shower and try to rest. I promise you that everything will be fine. I promise."

I nodded for him. "Thank you, Ethan." I said. "I didn't know what to do if you were not with me. Thank you for taking care of me."

"Always, dear." he said and pushed my hair out of my face. "Always."

I said goodbye and got out of Ethan's car and walked toward my house with a heavy heart.

That was not how I have imagined that night.

***********************************************************************************************

I watched as Eleanor went inside her house. It was killing me to see someone who was dear to me so much, broken like that. I sighed and ignited the engine again and drove away.

My grip on the steering wheel tightened and I clenched my jaw. Eleanor had helped me unconsciously to bear the death of Christy, my sister. She had saved me from depression even if unconsciously and I would be damn if not helping her.

She was a fantastic girl. Whoever had the honor of knowing her immediately would find out what an amazing girl she was. Just her mere presence would lift your spirit. She was just different than most of the girls and that was bothering her.

Harrington should have been more than proud to be with her.

Irritated, I pulled over and picked up my phone, and quickly dialed Harrington's number. I called him once again when he didn't answer me. I called Mia after he didn't answer my call for the third time.

Mia was still at the party and much to my dismay she wasn't able to find Harrington anywhere. He wasn't even answering his best friend's call.

I cursed under my breath and threw my phone on the passenger seat and began to drive again.

"You will answer my fucking call tonight, Harrington." I gritted my teeth.

***********************************************************************************************

I had leaned on the hood of my car, gazing at the lake in front of me. I had lost the number of cigarettes I had smoked. Yet I had another one between my fingers and a bottle of whiskey in my other hand.

Everywhere was dark except for the sky which had a red light. Heavy clouds had covered the sky, giving an eerie feeling to the dark surroundings, but my mind was so fucking occupied to care.

Why did she run? Did she regret our kiss? Was she that repulsed by the thought of kissing me? Was it possible that she had remembered suddenly that she was kissing her tormentor? Was she hating me? Why didn't I run after her, stop her, demand answers?

These were only a few of the fucking questions that were roaming my mind, killing me slowly for the past hour. I had left the party right after Eleanor had left. I was only a bit relieved because I had seen her leave with Miller, so at least I knew she was safe.

I took a long swing of the whiskey, let it burn my throat, and begged it to numb me a bit. But it was as if my body wasn't getting drunk or calm by drinking more alcohol. And I had only brought one bottle with me.

"Fuck!" I yelled and threw the now empty bottle forward with full force, watching it fall into the lake, making big ripples. I was dying. My soul was on fire and my heart was wrenching constantly.

Wasn't she like me?

I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes. I was needing desperately to calm down and the only one who could calm me down had run away from me.

How ironic.

My panting decreased as droplets of cold rain fell on my face one after the other. At first slowly and then it turned to a pouring. But I didn't get into the car. I just stood there and let the rain fall on my face. Maybe the force of nature could calm me down. The sky was crying for me.

I finally get into the car when the pouring intensified. I was drenched and shaking slightly from the cold. Yet I didn't turn on the heat. I think I was punishing myself. At least the thunderous sound of raindrops on the roof of the car was soothing a bit, disturbing my miserable thoughts.

My train of thought was broken by the sound of my phone, vibrating in the coffee compartment, making me aware of an incoming call. I groaned and picked it up, staring at the unknown number. I was about to reject a call but a thought invaded my mind.

What if it was Liam who was calling me? What if something had happened to Eleanor and it was about her?

I quickly answered the call and put the phone on my ear. "Chris Harrington." I said.

"Fucking finally."

I frowned as I heard Miller's voice on the other side and my mind instantly began to panic at full speed. "Why are you calling me?' I asked instantly. "Is it about Eleanor? is she fine?"

"No, she is not." I heard Miller answer and my heart sank. "And you are the only one who can help her."

I quickly turned on the engine, while talking. "Is she hurt?" I asked franticly, my heart practically beating in my throat with fear for my love. "Where is she? I'm coming."

"Calm down. She is not hurt physically." sighed Miller. "She is suffering mentally."

At hearing that, I turned off the engine once again and leaned on my seat. Silence fell on both sides.

"I know you two kissed." said Miller, breaking the silence.

"The whole school knows by now." I scoffed and ran a hand through my wet hair.

"I took Eleanor home." said Miller. "She was crying her eyes out, you know, all the way to her house."

I shut my eyes tightly and leaned my head on the headrest while forcing out my question. "Was she regretting it?" I choked out, not believing that I was talking about this stuff with fucking Miller. But I needed that talk a lot.

"She was regretting." answered Miller and my heart dropped. "But not your kiss. She was regretting running away from you."

I sighed in relief and rubbed my face with my free hand aggressively. I was going nuts. But what Miller said next stopped my heart and my thoughts completely.

"She likes you, Harrington, a lot." said Miller. "She was cursing herself for leaving you. She was saying over and over that you might hate her now, thinking differently about her."

"Really?" I whispered, shocked to the core. My breathing increased as hope blossomed in my heart.

What a dangerous feeling is this hope.

"Look, Harrington." sighed Miller. "I can't believe that I'm talking to you about this. But Eleanor needs you. She is suffering, cursing herself over and over for leaving you. It was not because she hates you or anything. It was just because she was overwhelmed with her lack of experience."

He paused for a second, letting his words sink. "You know that you were her first kiss." he stated.

Fuck! I knew that.

"She is a so shy girl and inexperience in the field of relationship and the other gender." said Miller. "She isn't like other girls, Harrington. I think you know this by now. Her way of thinking, her morals, and her ethics are different from the girls around you. She had been so engrossed by providing for her family and living a life of an adult that hasn't had the time to think about romance stuff like a teenager her age."

I closed my eyes again, letting Miller's talking calm my nerves down. He was fucking right.

"I shouldn't have kissed her in front of everyone." I groaned.

"Maybe it was a wiser decision to kiss her somewhere more private." said Miller, confirming me. "She was shocked, a bit frightened and nervous about the fact that whether she had been good or not. Those feelings had intensified in her and had caused her to run away without thinking. The only possible way that had crossed her mind at that moment."

He sighed again before continuing. "I told her that everything will be fine." he said, "I told her to rest tonight and talk with you tomorrow. She was afraid that you will not understand her reasoning."

His tone then changed and become hard and harsh. "She is the best girl you can find, Harrington." he said. "I know that you like her too. It is obvious from the way you look at her and treat her. You will be going to listen to her well tomorrow and will make sure she is fine. You will break her heart and I will kill you. Do you understand me?"

"You should not be worried about me breaking her heart." I huffed irritated. "My heart will break a thousand times worse if hers breaks."

Miller was silent for a moment. "Please, take care of her." he said softly this time, almost pleading. "She had been through a lot. She has grown to like you a lot and sees you as a light in her life. She trusts you and finds you a person to rely on. Please don't leave her alone. Please take care of her."

"You don't need to worry." I said and once again turned on the engine. "She is more important to me than something you think. She is my light too, a light that I will die without."

I turned the car and began to drive to the main road again. "I should go now, Miller." I said. "Thank you. For helping me and Eleanor."

"You're welcome." he answered and then end the call.

I put my phone in the coffee compartment again and began to drive carefully down the now sliding road. Once on the main road, I began to drive as fast as I could toward Eleanor's house.

I wasn't going to wait until tomorrow and let her suffer.

I parked my car in front of her house and got out. It was raining so hard now. Thunder was rumbling, only making rain intensify, pouring down on me as I stood in front of the front stairs. A light was coming from the living room window, saying that someone at least was awake.

Was it a good idea to go and see her? I stood there for a few minutes, thinking of an answer.

To damn with everything!

I thought and walked up the stairs and rang the bell.

***********************************************************************************************

I was curled up on one of the sofas in the living room, wrapped tightly in a blanket, flipping through the tv channels. I was feeling too down, unable to sleep. Thoughts were swarming my mind making me unable to sleep. I had taken a quick shower and changed into my PJs.

I sighed and turned off the TV. Nothing could capture my interest. I rubbed my face tiredly and leaned my head on the backrest, closing my eyes. I was going to be a mess tomorrow at work. The heavy rain was making a lot of noise that at least was making me calm a bit.

Just then, suddenly, the bell of the house went off. I frowned and opened my eyes and stared at the door. Who could have been at that time of the night in that heavy rain?

Could it be dad? No! He couldn't come here. Liam and Daisy couldn't see him.

The mere thought made my eyes wide. I jumped out of the sofa after the bell went off again. I slowly made my way toward the door and opened it slightly without taking off the chain lock. The lightning lit up everywhere, especially the figure that was standing there.

"Chris!"

My eyes were almost popping out of their sockets. I quickly took off the chain and yanked the door open.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" I said as I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. He was drenched. Water was dripping from his hair and his leather jacket. His jeans too looked wet as well as his shirt.

"We need to talk." he said sternly while looking at me with a stoic face. He did his best to not show it, but his voice was shaking from cold.

"First we need to dry you up. come." I said. "Take off your shoes."

Not protesting, Chris quickly took off his shoes. I took his elbow and dragged him toward the stairs.

"What's going on here?" asked Liam. He was blinking and squinting his eyes, trying to adjust them to the light. Surely the sound of the bell had woke him up.

"Nothing." I said as I practically began to run up the stairs with Chris on my heel. "Go back to sleep, L."

"What's happening?" asked Liam as we passed him. "What are you doing here, Chris?"

"Liam, to bed. Now." I ordered Liam sternly, leaving no room for argument.