Koleen's POV:

My heart was hammering against my chest, and not from the run I just had with Jaxon. I was nervous of going back to school the next day.

I tried going on a run to calm my nerves, but thinking about seeing him again makes me feel nauseous.

I didn't want to face him. I wish I could just never see him again, and forget him just like that.

I still missed talking to Bryson.

Our little convos, and his touch.

Even though I was enjoying spending time with Jaxon, at the end of the day, I still wanted him back.

"Nervous going back?" He mentions as we walk around the dirt track for our cool down.

I hesitated to answer. "Maybe..."

"Well you let me know if he causes you any trouble, I'll make him run laps throughout the whole period."

I smiled half heartedly, as tempted as that sounded I didn't want to mess with him.

I knew it wasn't right to hold grudges no matter how much they hurt you, but the toxic Latina in me still wanted to key his car and spray paint foul words.

"Well I have to go now, thanks for going on a run with me."

"Of course, my ego gets checked each time you pass me. It's humbling really."

I laughed. "Maybe you can keep up next time."

I walked to my car, and waited for Jaxon to leave first. Afterwards I just sat there, and tears started slipping down my face.

Gosh, just the thought of seeing him tomorrow, hurt my heart.

I wish it didn't end. But I knew there must've been a reason it didn't work out, wether I saw it now or in the future. It'll all make sense in the end. Things don't just happen without a reason. I was a firm believer in that.

With that thought, I drove off listening to loud music to drown my thoughts.

Even though I took melatonin to try to get some sleep, my brain still didn't shut off.

I dreamed that Bryson wanted to see me, he missed me so much during our break that he wanted me back.

After I woke up from that emotional dream, I wiped the tears from my face and got ready for the school day.

I just needed to get through my classes, and practice. It's all I asked for for today.

The good thing was that soccer practice was in the morning, and track was after school.

It would keep me busy to clear my head.

Our coach made us run a mile as part of the warm up.

Everytime I thought of him, I told myself to push myself harder.

Each time his name appeared in my head, I kicked the ball harder.

Each time I'd imagine hearing his voice, I'd run with the ball faster.

"Pairs! You have other girls open! Don't be hogging the ball, it's all about teamwork!" My coach yells.

Right.... I kicked the ball to Stacey , one of my teammates, but the ball was stolen from her.

"Oh come on!" I sigh frustrated.

This is why you should only ever count on yourself, anyone else will always disappoint.

Always.

I cooled off in my morning shower in the girl's locker room. Having been all sweaty, I didn't want to stink for the rest of the school day. I let the cool water drip down my body, wanting to wash away all the emotions I've been feeling.

To wash away the nerves I felt, because I was scared that I'd come face to face with him.

Finally I shut off the water, and started drying myself.

Usually I never listen to the meaningless morning gossip that fly around in the girl's locker room, but I couldn't help but listen once I heard his name mentioned.

"Yeah, Bryson was there. I haven't seen him in any outings, but he was there."

"Oh my gosh, why didn't you text me? I would've totally ditched my tutoring lesson if I knew Bryson would be there. He finally ditched that icky fat girl, I could've made my move!"

"Oh trust me girl, you would've embarrassed yourself if you were there. Someone already beat you to it, you know who was all up on him that night?"

"Oh my gosh, who?!"

"Crystal Richardson."

My heart stopped. It couldn't be.

The girl scoffed, "Wait isn't she like besties with that fat girl? Are you sure she wasn't like, trying to get them back together or something?"

The other girl laughed, "Yeah if you call sitting on his lap, and twerking on him back together!"

"No! I mean I don't blame her, I'd betray my bestie just to get that man too. At least they make sense. I think he was just doing charity work with that other girl." They both laughed this time, then started talking about something else.

I couldn't believe it. Maybe Crystal was drunk, and didn't know who she was doing it with ?

She couldn't.

I know we weren't on the best of terms at the moment, but she couldn't have betrayed me like that.

Yes she was at the party, but it must have been some other chick who looked like her.

Yes. It must have.

I wiped away my tears, and finished getting dressed.

The hallways were as noisy as ever, I used it to drown out the conversation that kept replaying in my head.

But it was useless when the party was all everyone talked about.

Including in class.

In my first period everyone seems to have gone to that party.

"Oh my gosh Kimberly, you and Sean were so loud at the party. Everyone heard y'all!" One girl laughed.

"Y'all are just jealous we were getting some on New Years."

"Oh please, the only person I wanted that night was Bryson. But someone had beat me to it."

I could feel Kimberly looking at me, I looked up for a moment and looked back down.

She smirked. "Oh yeah? I heard Crystal," She said her name loud and clear enough for me to hear it. "Was the one who was all up on him that night."

Her friend sighed, "Yeah she wouldn't leave his side at all. I heard they locked themselves in one of the rooms. I didn't see him anymore for the rest of the night."

"Oh I bet they were in there all right. I bet she had the best night of her life. He is the best of the best, so I've heard." Kimberly giggles. She then turns around, facing me. "Hey, Koleen? Aren't you friends with Crystal?"

I didn't say anything, just kept looking down and tried finishing my assignment.

"Are you okay with them being together? Gosh, you are such a good friend Leen. Letting your best friend have your ex boyfriend. I mean, they make such a cute couple. You and him, just didn't make any sense at all. You're doing a good deed Koleen." With that she turns around and laughs with her friend.

I clenched my fists, resisting the urge to grab her by the hair and drag her.

But the anger I felt inside wasn't directed towards her, it was mostly towards the person I thought was my best friend.

After first period I stomped down the hallway towards Cryistal's first period.

I wanted hear it from her.

I wanted her to tell me it was all a lie, she couldn't possibly have betrayed me like that. Not after seeing me heartbroken from him. She wouldn't do something so low.

I spotted her exiting her literature class, and grabbed her arm dragging her towards a quiet corner.

"Ow! Koleen why are you dragging me? What is it? I need to get to calculus !" She exclaims rubbing her arm looking at me confused.

I push back the tears that wanted to come out, and in a shaky voice I whisper "Tell me it isn't true."

"What? What are you talking about?"

This time, more loudly I tell her, " Tell me those rumors about you, and Bryson aren't true."

Her face turns pale, she looks anywhere but at me.

"Koleen, I don't know what you are talking about...I need to get to class." She tries walking off, but I grab her arm again, and push her against the wall.

"Bullshit!" I yell getting the attention of others now. "You know exactly what I'm talking about! Everyone is talking about it! I want to hear it from you, did you really betray me like that?"

She pushes me away, and shouts, "Y'all are broken up! You aren't together anymore! Besides, I wanted him first! You would've never known about him if it wasn't for me! So really, who betrayed who? Huh Koleen? You knew I liked him first! And you still dated him behind my back!"

"Please! You're like that with every boy!" I yell back. "You use one and get with another, excuse me for dating the one guy that I actually liked, and liked me back too!"

Crystal laughs, "Oh please, you really think he liked you Koleen? He was only using you! I mean y'all don't even make sense, why would he go after you? Y'all were only together for what, less than a month? He must've been real tired dealing with a big fat cow like yourself!"

"Fuck you!" I yell, the tears coming out now.

"Ooh!!" I hear the shouts of other kids listening to our conversation now.

"No fuck you Koleen! Bryson was, and forever will be, mine! Get over it! I bet he only used you to get closer to me. No one will take you seriously, I mean look at yourself. I felt bad for you so I took you under my wing, but I don't see why I should do that now. Good luck on your own honey." She forces a smile at me, then shoves me.

Everyone else looks down at me, and laughs.

"I knew he wasn't serious about her!"

"What a fake bitch! Going after your friend's crush? Serves her right for thinking she had a chance."

Tears streamed down my cheeks again, this wasn't how I wanted my school day to go.

I pushed everyone out of the way, and ran towards the parking lot to get the hell away from here.

"Koleen!" I don't know why I turned around hoping that it'd be him.

Hoping Bryson would all of a sudden come out of nowhere, and come to comfort me after hearing those horrible words Crystal told me. He would come to tell me it was all a lie, that it was only ever me he wanted.

"Where are you going? What's wrong?"

But it was the wrong boy.

"Leave me alone Jaxon!" I ran away from him, tears trailing down my cheeks making my vision blurry. My chest hurt so much I had to stop to take a breath.

I didn't even realize Jaxon was still following me, when he pulled me towards him. "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Did he do something to you?"

"I need to get out of here, I don't want to be here!" I try to say while sobbing.

"It's okay, it's okay." He pats my back, and holds me close.

I cry harder this time.

I wish it was him holding me right now, telling me it was not true. That Crystal was the one who forced herself to him.

But I knew him. He would fuck anything, and anyone. Including someone he knew was my best friend.

* ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡*

The school week was hell for me, I stopped sitting with the girls at lunch. Everyone sided with Crystal. Everyone thought I took her man.

The rumors circled everywhere.

Every time I walked into a room everyone started whispering to each other, looking at me with distaste.

Even though I felt lonely at school, I felt less lonely once I got home.

The girls I met from the college tour had actually reached out to me.

They wanted to hang out.

At first I didn't want to go; I just wanted to stay at home.

But I knew I'd be crying all day.

So what was better, crying all day at home? Or go out, and cry only in the night when I get home from having fun for a bit.

I was going out.

The girls arrived to my house, and were waiting for me outside.

I walked to their car, but before I could reach the door handle, Mónica rolls down her window.

"You're not leaving the house like that are you?" Her and Steph both looked at my outfit which consisted of jeggings and a sweatshirt.

I looked back at their outfits.

Mónica was wearing a short plaid skirt, with tights, long boots, and a cozy cream sweater.

Steph had a turtle neck layered underneath a short brown dress with boots and tights.

They both had their makeup, and hair done.

"Well I didn't realize getting coffee was worth getting dressed up for." I commented feeling embarrassed now.

"Girl we're going to La Dulce Bunny Cafe, have you not heard of that place? Everything is pink and girly! You want to know the best part ? It has bunnies to pet! Totally Instagram worthy to take pics for your feed as well." Steph explained.

Wow. I have never heard of that place.

Mónica turned off her car, "Okay come on, we have got to get you dolled up girl."

Before I could say anything they both entered my house, and into my room.

Steph starting on my hair and make up, while Mónica dug through my closet.

"Ooh how about this skirt?" She pulled out a ruffled, white, skirt that my mom bought me a year ago from a boutique store.

I refused to ever wear it, because I thought I looked ugly in it.

It's been collecting dust in my closet since.

"Isn't it cold outside? Why are we all wearing skirts and dresses?" I protested.

"Um hello, that's why we have tights on?" Mónica replies pulling on hers.

"Yeah, plus we have our coats, and we'll be inside." Steph agrees.

"Mhm, you're wearing this, and let's see..." Mónica goes back into my closet looking for a top. "How about this?" She pulls out a pink sweater that I've also never worn.

"That sure looks comfy." I replied sarcastically.

"Just go try it on!" She tosses it onto the bed.

"I'm done with your makeup, go change while we pick your accessories!" Steph tells me.

I grab my outfit and walk into the bathroom.

When I looked at my reflection, I was shocked to see who I was looking at.

The makeup was subtle, but you could still tell I had some on.

She did a neutral brown eyeshadow with a small wing, and nude lips.

Once I put on the outfit, I never felt so pretty.

It was nice.

After the break up, I started feeling more and more insecure about my appearance.

Wondering if all the rumors were true...I was too ugly for him.

"Does it look okay?" I shyly walked out of the bathroom to reveal the whole fit.

"Yes!" They both exclaimed.

"Look at you Koleen, I think we did a good job! Okay, lets go!"

Once we got to the coffee house, not only was it full, but people were dressed up.

Everyone was taking pictures, with the bunnies, by themselves posing against the pink wall they had decorated in vintage prints and frames.

Everything was so cute, and I'm so glad I let them dress me up, or I would've felt out of place.

After taking some pics, and petting some of the bunnies we finally sat to eat.

We all got hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows, and whipped cream. Each of us got a pastry to eat with.

"So," Steph looked towards me. "How is your senior year going?"

I wanted to lie, and say it was good, but part of me wanted to share what was really going on.

I felt alone.

Sure I have my parents, some of my teammates who still supported me, but I couldn't talk to them about what I was really feeling. And even though Jaxon was always there, I didn't feel comfortable telling him how much I still loved Bryson. How much I still wanted him back.

Besides, I'm sure these girls could care less about high school drama. So I told them about the break up, how my best friend betrayed me, and everyone at school hated me, and was talking behind my back.

"You have got to be kidding me, what a bitch! Both of them!" Mónica exclaims, almost spilling over her hot chocolate.

"Girl you are too good for both of them, let them fuck each other! You're better off without them in your life." Steph says.

"Exactly!" Mónica agrees. "Koleen, I'm not just saying this because you are a good athlete, but you are way too good for everyone at that school. Believe me, when I competed against them in high school they were a bunch of snobs. But you're different. Don't let their words get to you, it's just drama. High school drama that is, they're just bored with their lives."

"This just means that what's coming after high school will be so much better, and so worth it." Steph holds out her hand towards me, and squeezes my hand in reassurance.

"Thank you guys. You don't know how much it means to me to hear that." I sob.

I didn't want to ruin my makeup, or cry again in public, but their words filled my heart up.

I felt supported by them. I believed everything they said to me.

And for the first time I thought maybe things would be okay.

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