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I woke up with a jolt, my heart hammering in my chest. Where the fuck am I?

I turn to find Yasmin peacefully asleep. Looking around, I realize this is definitely not my house. I've never gotten out of bed so fast, I pulled my clothes on and checked the time.

4:55 am.

Fuck. I walk into her bathroom and make sure I don't look like I was caught in a tornado, just as I put my shoes on to leave, I remember Yasmin. I search for paper and a pen and write her a quick note.

I leave it on her nightstand before practically running to my car. The sky was still dark at this time and the road was damn near vacant.

I fell asleep at work and woke up, that's my story.

Definitely not me and Yasmin having a sex fest all night long, I wake up in her bed and return home.

Definitely not that.

In my car, I speed home, lucky that the red lights were quick throughout the drive.

I arrived and I looked up to see the sky a bit lighter than it was half an hour ago. I had never been more worried in my entire life. I practically ran to the house and set my things down. I walked upstairs and found Sarah sound asleep. Pausing for a moment to toe-off my shoes, I walk into the bathroom for a shower.

After washing, I let the water run over my body for a while as I finally gave my thoughts the opportunity to circle around my head.

Can you really keep this up, Logan?

How do you keep two women happy at the same damn time?

Why did you tell Yasmin you'd make it work, you idiot?

This can't happen again.

I shut my eyes tightly and lean against the wall.

What are you doing this for... sex?

No, no, I-I feel something strong for Yasmin. It won't go away no matter how hard I try.

So you love her?

No... no? Fuck, I don't know anything anymore.

Do I love Yasmin?

"Logan?" Jumping slightly at the sound of her voice, I wipe the foggy door a little to see Sarah rubbing her eyes sleepily. I turn the knob to cut the hot water off and open the door.

I reach around her for the towel and wrap it around my waist. Her eyes move from my eyes to my abs and back again. "I fell asleep at work, I'm really sorry, Sarah." I run a hand through my drenched hair and push it back.

"Did you know what day it was Logan? We had plans. I was sitting there like an idiot. And then— I-I went to her house and..." I look down at her as she breaks off into a sob, covering her face.

"Sarah, whoa, you went to whose house?" I pull her hands from her red face and wiped the tears away as best as I could.

"Olivia! She was such a bitch to me! She brought up my m-miscarriage—"

I stopped her, suddenly feeling angry as she spoke.

"Why the fuck would she bring that up?" Sarah scrunched her face up and began to cry harder.

"I-I may have said some harsh things to her that she didn't deserve. But that doesn't even compare to what she said to me, Logan. I lost a baby, she's losing a husband. How could she do that to me?" I grabbed her hand and brought her to the bed to sit her down.

I had yet to dry off from my shower but I was much more concerned with Sarah. She was never one to get this upset over someone's words.

"Well what exactly did you say to her?" I frowned and looked at her as she grabbed a tissue to blow her nose.

"She was whining about Devin cheating on her, but it's like, okay what's new? We all knew Devin was a slut so why is she just now talking about it?" She waved her hands around stared at me with her head tilted. I tried not to smile at her calling Devin a slut.

"So what did you say, I know that's not all."

She looked at the floor with wide eyes for a while before mumbling, "something about her being pathetic or whatever. I can't really remember..." she purses her lips and rubs her temples.

"Yes you can, otherwise you wouldn't be this upset. She might have brought up something painful to make you feel the same. You can't blatantly compare pain, Sarah. Something that hurts her may not hurt you, you both know each other's weaknesses and used them against each other."

"Are you sticking up for her?!" She gets up abruptly and starts to walk off but I grab her and pull her onto my lap.

"Baby, look at me. I'm trying to help. Whether you listen to me or not is up to you. You and Olivia have been best friends since elementary school, are you really going to let this end it? Both of you were in the wrong." I push her hair away from her face and stare into her eyes. She looks at me before grabbing my hand and pressing it to her stomach.

"Logan, that wasn't the only thing I was crying about." My brows furrowed at her quick topic change.

"I want another baby. I want us to try again." Another tear slipped from her eyes as she spoke, her lip trembling.

Completely alarmed, I began to pull away, but she wouldn't let me. "Sarah, the doctor sa—"

"She said near impossible! There wasn't a hundred percent chance of a miscarriage if we try again!" She grabs my face to get me to look at her but I wouldn't this conversation to be over with.

"Of course it wouldn't be one hundred percent! They're fucking doctors! What if we try again and we have another miscarriage? Then what?" I move her back onto the bed and stand up, moving away from her.

"Logan! Please, just hear me out! Please!" She began to cry again, holding her hands out in front of me. I said nothing and finally got dressed.

"But what if we do? What if this is our chance? I could never forgive myself if we didn't try. You won't even think about it?" She wipes her face and stares at me with the saddest eyes.

I pull on a pair of boxers and joggers to over them. I clench my jaw as I stare at her, my chest hurting at the pain on her face. I pull on a shirt and walk into the closet.

"Logan? W-where are you going?" She follows me and stops when she sees me pulling on my running shoes.

"I'm going for a run okay, I just need time to think." I grab a baseball cap and pull it over my wet hair.

"I'll go with you—" she starts looking for something to wear but I stop her.

"I need time to think alone." She tears up again and I close my eyes and look down. "I'll be back in about an hour, we're okay. Just give me time to think." I kiss her forehead and walk past her to leave. I look back to find her wrapping her arms around herself, biting her lip as she watches me leave. Her eyes now bloodshot, nose red, and her cheeks tinted pink.

I've never seen her so upset, and I have no idea if a baby is what I want.

What do I want?