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I woke to the feeling of fingertips brushing against my back softly, soothingly. I almost didn't want to open my eyes but I slowly did, and was met with a delicious chocolate, toned chest.

Belonging to Derrick.

He had his glasses on, making him look ever so sophisticated as he was entranced by whatever was on TV. As if sensing me awake, he looked down at me and smiled. "Morning beautiful."

I tried to hide the smile that met my lips and sat up, his hand falling from my back. "Morning," I stretch, holding the sheet to my chest. I noticed that he'd gotten partially dressed, in a pair of gym shorts without a shirt.

"Leaving so soon?" I find my bra and panties scattered on the floor, followed by my dress. I pick them up and begun to dress, I usually opt for taking a shower here but I have nothing to change into.

"Yeah, gotta head back into hell." He chuckles at my words and gets out of bed. As I was pulling my dress on, I felt him walk behind me, heat radiating off of him and onto my back. His hands grip my waist and pull me back to him, his chin rest over my head.

"Can't spare a few more minutes?" His smooth, deep voice made me shiver as he whispered in my ear. I pressed a hand to his toned arm, hating that I had to leave.

"I wish. But duty calls." I turn around in his arms and look up at him, it took every fiber in my being not to compare the two men. Derrick and Logan. They were complete polar opposites.

Derrick is a quarterback for the Carolina Panthers football team, ripped with muscle, and he was nothing but good to me. He would drop anything to see me and at times, I felt shitty for using him, but he always assured me it was okay.

A large part of me could see us together, a happily ever after. But unfortunately, I was born with dumb bitch syndrome, so I never see a good thing coming. Even if it hits me in the face. I was in love with the wrong man of course, gotta love complication.

There's Logan, of course, a man who put me as second best because no matter what I do, his wife reserves his heart. So why couldn't I get over him?

I snap out of my thoughts and kiss him softly on the lips, "I'll call you." He kisses me back before kissing my forehead.

"I can drop you off, rather than you doing all that work to get back home." I'm already shaking my head before he can finished. It would be much more logical for me to drive myself, he was stalling.

"Nope, it's fine, Derrick, thank you." I smile at him before leaving.

"When can I see you again, Yaz?" He looks away then looks at me. I knew this was coming.

The thing is, I have no clue how to answer that question. I was worried he could see that, "I-I—"

"Nah, I get it. Stupid question. Call me whenever you need me." He looks away from me, clenching his jaw.

I hesitate as I close the door, feeling a lot less cheery than before.

I couldn't help but fuck up everything I touch.

I arrived at work punctually, which came to a surprise but the dread in the pit of my stomach settled in. I was once again reminded of what was here that made me feel this way.

Or who.

I ignored him like I had been for a week and organized my things for the day. I heard him sigh and I tried not to roll my eyes. I told him not to talk to me.

"Yasmin?"

Fucking knew it.

"Why are you talking to me?" If he had something to tell me, he could email me—which doesn't require eye contact, talking, or him being near me. I don't care if we're 10 feet away from each other or not.

"Yasmin, I need to talk to you. Please." The urgency in his voice made me look up from my paper but not at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Since you asked so urgently, of course I'll come to your beck and call. How may I serve you, sir?" I hadn't had my coffee yet.

An un-caffeinated Yasmin, is a sarcastic Yasmin.

He sighed heavily again before typing furiously on his keyboard. Within seconds, I received an email.

Yasmin,

Again, you'll never understand how sorry I am but I need to talk to you. Face to face, in person. Regarding us.

I stared at my computer screen for what felt like forever, he made it so clear there was no us. I looked over to find him staring at me with an intense expression.

"Fine." I got up and walked to his desk, keep distance between us. If I didn't like what he had to say, I could just leave. Simple.

"I want us to see each other again."

I let out a laugh before turning away from him to sit back down. I heard a clash and turned to see him getting up.

"Yasmin! Just hear me out dammit!" He got up faster than my eyes would allow me to process and tackled me.

He actually fucking tackled me.

"Aah, Logan! What the hell! I could've died!" We fell onto the couch with him on top of me.

"I would never let that happen." I rolled my eyes at his sappy tone. None of that cliche shit was working anymore.

"Get the hell off of me, you cow." I pushed him but he only moved back a little.

"Only if you promise to hear me out. Just listen for once, Jesus."

"What's He gotta do with this?" I couldn't help the snarky comment but I wanted this confrontation to be over with.

He gave me a blank look before continuing. "I had a dream, okay. About us, and we did something so risky, so bad—"

"Lovely." He gave me a sharp look which shut me up.

"— but that didn't matter because we were in it together. I thought on it all fucking morning and it only made me realize how much I wanted us back. How much I wanted— want you back. How much I need you."

"You need me? But you left me in a closet while you fucked your wife?" He flinched at my words before containing his composure.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do to forgive me. If you don't miss me or what we had, if you hate me enough to cut me out of your life entirely, then I won't bother you. I swear. But look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me." I stared him in the eyes, prepared to tell him just how much I didn't want him.

Oddly enough, tears weld up in my eyes. I blinked rapidly, desperate to keep them at bay. But it was too late, he saw them. "Yasmin," his voice was barely above a whisper.

I bit my lip and pushed him off of me, he let me and sat up on the couch. I stood and turned my back on him but remained frozen.

"I still want your sorry ass, is that what you want to hear? Happy now? But amidst the hatred is so much fucking pain, Logan. Am I that forgettable? So minuscule a thought in your mind that y-you'd just I-ignore my existence. I—" I was struggling to fight the sob crawling up my throat when he pulled me into his arms.

I tried to fight him back, wanting but not wanting his embrace. But the longer he held me, the more I cried. He whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry. There's no explanation, never again." He told me over and over again, until my tense body relaxed.

Sitting back down, he pulled me into his lap and held me tight to his chest, his rapid heartbeat calming me.

I was weak and I hated how being weak felt so good in his arms.