(Not Edited) I found this really funny pic (look on the side or at the top)

Best Friends are the only people who will smack you in the head when you start to go the wrong way.....

Chapter 18 : I Am Really Bad At Farting Comebacks

I woke up around noon and since it was Saturday, I planned to be as lazy as possible. I tumbled out of my bed and headed downstairs, without bothering to shower. I could do that later.

Descending the stairs, I was greeted with the wonderful fragrance of my favourite chocolate chip pancakes. Mom was still making pancakes? It was already noon.

But, who was I to complain?

I went down the stairs, happily skipping and jumping. "Hey folks, what's teh occa-," I trailed off as I saw more than two familiar faces.

"And what are you doing here?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"Honey, don't be so rude. It was Aaron who asked me to make these pancakes for you," Mom said as she placed two in a plate and offered it to me.

"I think it's my cue to leave," Aaron stood up and literally ran out from the kitchen as if I was going to come after him with a knife in m hand.

Now I knew. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

And I had to know what it was.

I quietly sat down and started eating my pancakes. My mother was watching me eat them and to my utmost surprise, even dad had kept down his newspaper to observe me. Their behaviour was too suspicious.

After the fourth bite, I gave up. I dropped my fork on the plate with my half eaten pancake.

"What is it?" I asked, raising my eye-brows.

Immediately both my parents began doing some work. I couldn't understand why they were acting weird. It was almost as if they were excited about something. But what?

"Guys? Stop acting weird and just tell me what is up with the both of you," I spoke up, a bit frustrated. First it was Candy, then my parents.

At this, both of them kept everything aside and stood up. Mom had a big grin on her face, it almost divided her face into two. Dad, though had a bit calmer expression, but he too looked like he was having the time of his life.

Now this was scary.

"Alyssa, you know that it is really bad to keep things from your parents, right?" Mom asked as she came to stand to my right.

I shot her a confused look and looked at dad for help.

"Yes, your mother is right. It is wrong to do that," Dad said from my left.

"Okay, I'm utterly, purely, fully, completely confused now. Mind telling me what the heck you're talking about?" I asked, irritated and confused.

At this, mom literally jumped on me, trapping me into a hug. Even dad joined in.

"Why didn't you tell us that you started singing again?" Mom squealed like a kid on christmas as she squeezed me even tighter, making it difficult for me to breathe.

"C-Can't b-bre-eath-he," I let out and dad helped me get rid of mom's hold.

Finally when some air was introduced to my lungs, I relaxed a bit. Then mom's words sunk in.

Holy crackadoodlefudgekins. How the hell did they kn- AARON.

He was going to be dead soon. So that is why he ran like his life depended upon him.

"Uh, it's not like I can sing easily. It still takes quite a lot of confidence boosting to do it even once," I told them.

Mom finally let her giddy smile turn into a sympathetic one and gave me a light hug.

"But I don't understand. It's been what- eight years since you went on that stage? What is scaring you now?"

"I don't know mom. I just don't know. I'm always like- what if I go on stage and embarrass myself again. What if everyone laughs at my singing. What if I forget the lyrics on stage. What if I'm not able to impress people in the audience? All these what if's continue to haunt me."

"Sweetheart, always remember that there's always a choice. You can choose to live with your fears or push them beneath you. You can choose to bring yourself up and you can choose to let yourself down. And there are always going so be 'what if's' in your mind. But it's your choice if you want those 'what if's to control your life.

Even if you forget lyrics on stage, you can always recover. Even if you don't impress everyone, you should know that you're singing for yourself. Not them. You can always find ways to stop people from laughing at you. People will laugh at you if you let them. People will walk over you if you let them.

You need to think about this. Because you are the one whose letting other people stomp over all your dreams" Mom said getting up and leaving me with a whirlpool of thoughts.

But that wasn't my only doubt. What about the attention?

I really need to think all of this over but first, I have a revenge to plan.

****

"NO, no. You are going to shoot from behind the door and I'm going to take him from the front," I explained again.

Agent Tom pouted," But Agent Jerry, don't you think it would be better if I take him from the front? He won't suspect a thing."

"No. I should take him from the front. He won't expect it from me," Daddy Bear put in.

I sighed. This was going to get us no where. Especially since we just had half an hour left before Candy returned from his workout session.

"Okay. Listen to me. Agent Tom, you are taking the stairs and the sqished tomatoes. Daddy Bear, you're taking the side wall with the eggs. And I'll fire the liquid glue from behind the door. The moment I say 'Pyajama On Fire' you both will attack him with the eatables. But when I say 'Bird in the Nest' you will pour all the feathers over him.

Am I clear?"

For my revenge on my sweet and darling best friend, I planned to get the best allies I could. And what's better than his own parents? SO yes, I asked both of them to assist me and they agreed more than willingly when I told them about this morning.

The surprising thing was that they weren't shocked when they heard that I had started singing again. They just gave me warm smiles when I told them, which made my agenda on revenge even more strong.

So as per the planning, there were three rounds. Round one, meant throwing of only four tomatoes and six eggs. That was so that I could see his initial reaction before he was totally covered in the said ingredients.

Round two, had gooey substances added along with more eggs and squishy tomatoes.

And round three was the best one. Spraying of liquid glue with a nice touch of sprinkling white chicken feathers.

"All set Daddy Bear and Angent Tom?" I asked.

Daddy Bear frowned a bit. "Why is my name Daddy Bear? Can't it be something like Agent 007? The former make me feel like a huge, fluffy teddy."

At this Agent Tom snorted," Oh please. 007? You don't have a single spy-like bone in your body. You are more like a teddy. Cute and cuddly."

"Hey!"

"Wait.'Bird in the nest' is for food and 'Pyajama On Fire' is for feathers. Right?" Agent Tom asked suddenly.

Before I could answer, the sound of the front door opening echoed throughout the halls. My eyes widened and so did Agent Tom and Daddy Bear's.

No. No no no no no. He wasn't supposed to come back this early.

"Round one, Pyajama On Fire," I yelled and the first round of squished tomatoes and eggs was launched along with feathers. I face palmed. Not the feathers.

"What the-" the person yelled.

Hold on a second. Why did Candy sound like-

Oh Shit.

"Abort Mission. STOP," I yelled and both of them stopped.

"Dad? What the hell are you doing here?" I asked as I neared him, hesitantly.

He was covered in four tomatoes and six eggs.

"I-uh was just coming to tell you that your mom and I are going out somewhere so you could stay here till we came back. But if I knew I was going to be ambushed, I would've... just called you," he said, trying to pry off the feathers stuck along with the tomatoes.

I gave him a sheepish grin. "I-uh, sorry Dad. If I'd known that you weren't Aaron, I wouldn't have done it."

"Anyway, since I'm already dirty," he held a deflated tomato in his hand,"HAND ME MY GUN."

I laughed and handed him a tomato launcher (which was nothing but a frying pan filled with gooey tomatoes) and kept a bucket of tomatoes near him for the continuous supply.

"Positions, everyone!" I yelled and hid myself behind the door. "And remember, 'Pyajama On Fire' is for FOOD ONLY."

Agent Tom gave me a guilty grin

After five very, very long minutes, Candy showed up. The twisting of the front door knob ignited the rush of adrenalin in my body and I got ready. As soon as he shut the door, I yelled,"PANTS ON FIRE, ROUND 1 AND 2."

"It's 'PYAJAMA ON FIRE," I heard Daddy Bear yell as he launched his attack.

I saw Candy's confused expression just in time because exactly two seconds later, it was covered with eggs, tomatoes and the gooey stuff.

"BIRD IN THE NEST," I yelled and sprayed Aaron's frozed body with liquid glue and a second later, white was all I could see.

I looked at his shocked form, which was covered in a mess of food and feathers, and started laughing hard. I just couldn't stop.

I wasn't the only one, though.

Sarah and Mark (Aaron's lovely parents) were on th ground with me while Dad supported himself on the wall while tears streamed dowm our faces.

I clutched my stomach as it started stinging. My lungs were literally yelling 'STOP' to my brain but it wouldn't listen. Candy still stood in shock as he watched his parents laugh along with me.

I caught a little incredulous look that he was sending his parents as if to say,'I can understand why this little lunatic(me) would do it but you are my PARENTS!"

The thought itself made me laugh even harder.

Finally after what seemed like years of laughing and crying altogether, I managed to shut my mouth. But a chuckle and giggle escaped despite that.

Candy seemed to have gotten out of shock since he pointed an acuusing finger at me. But I just broke out into laughter again.

I mean he looked too funny.

You guys can imagine it yourself. Imagine your best friend covered in tomatoes, with the gooey subtance in eggs and it's yolk dripping down his face and clothes. Now imagine the feathers stuck to him, making him look like a snowman having a beard worse than Santa and tell me you'll not laugh at that. Especially when he has a feathery finger pointed at you.

I think I just died from laughing so damn hard.

***

"FUCK! This shit won't get off."

"It's stuck in between my abs. MY FUDGING ABS!"

"My hair! I might as well be DEAD. DO YOU HEAR ME ALYSSA? DEAD."

"Get off you filthy...GOOEY STUFF!"

"FUC- ALYSSA WILLOW MUFFIN BENT, YOU OWE ME A BOTTLE OF MY FAVOURITE SPIDERMAN SHAMPOO"

What are these, you might ask?

Well, these are some lines, due to which I may die (mainly due to lack of breath) since Candy won't shut up and I can hear him (well, he's practically shouting, so I maynot have a choice) and let me tell you something. I fell off the bed NINE times.

I think I might have a bruise on my arm in the morning.

I heard a click before the steam came out of the bathroom. My eyes widened upon seeing the amount of it.

You won't even need those fake steam creaters at parties. You can ask Candy to take a 45 minute shower and viola! Seriously, though, those smoke machines have such an obnoxious smell. Wait, can a smell be obnoxious? Whatever, but the smell is so bad that it makes me wanna choke, that is if I'm already not choking due to it.

WAIT. Now I'm getting off topic.

"So, I heard you had a lot of fun in there," I said pointing towards the washroom that was still giving out steam.

Candy glared at me.

"He he," I let out a nervous chuckle as he started advancing towards me.

UH OH.

I backed up on the bed and he kept on coming towards me with a wicked glint in his eye. He was shirtless but was wearing his pyjama bottoms.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't answer but kept on advancing until he blocked any means of escape for me.

He was about to say something when something interrupted him.

'Prrrrft'

Oh no. God Please NO. Don't let it be-

"Did you just fart?" Aaron asked, trying to control his laughter.

"N-No," I defended.

"Oh yeah? Then why does it smell-ew- like a rat just died?," he asked, holding his nose.

"Hehe, maybe it was just a ra-Prrrrsft"

Shit.

At this, he broke out into laughter. My face burnt as I tried to defend myself.

"Did you just fart, again?"

"No. I did NOT fart. My intestine just blew you a kiss," I said crossing my arms to retain some of my dignity.

But this made him laugh even harder.

"W-What?" he stuttered out before falling into another fits of laughter.

"Excuse me. But did you even know that if you control your farts, the come back with even more force, sound and smell?"

He fell on the ground after hearing this.

I just realized some things today.

One, I am really bad at farting comebacks

And two, karma is a real b*tch.

***************

Hey people. I hope I made you laugh (even a little bit)

I had so much fun writing this chapter. Honestly, I was thinking of making it a sad and intense chapter but I couldn't even write it. It was sooo boring.

Anyway, hope you liked the chapter.

Btw, something else to make you laugh....

I just found out the full form of FART. Wanna know?

F: Feeling

A: A

R: Rectal

T: Transmission

I laughed so hard at this! I literally had tears streaming down my face.

Anyway, PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT. I LOVE YOU ALL.