CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“soonyoung really?” jeonghan groaned. his younger friend stood in the middle of their living room with plant soil splattered everywhere.

“no, oh hell no not again!” soonyoung marched over to the doorway, dragging the soil out more. he stood when he was only inches away from jisoo's face.

his glare was strong, it really brought out the phrase 'if looks could kill'.

the atmosphere was definitely filled with tension, it was undeniable. none of the boys felt comfortable, especially jeonghan.

“listen asshole, you need to leave. jeonghan is doing great, and so are you. goodbye now!” soonyoung began to shut the door in jisoo's face, but jeonghan's hand caught it before it shut.

soonyoung's mouth nearly hit the ground. an uncomfortable feeling rising.

“what is it you want?” the blonde coldly asked. the bitterness in his voice couldn't be missed.

seeing jisoo again, it just made his palms sweaty and his head spin. all kinds of memories overfilled his mind, when they first met in that shabby bookstore, when they first kissed under jisoo's large tree in the front yard around midnight so his parents wouldn't catch them.

when he walked through his bedroom door only to find his lips connected to another's.

“i just...I wanted to talk..” jisoo answered, his voice was soft. regretful.

jeonghan stood in the doorway, unsure how to answer. does he have the right to deny him this? is this a good idea? sure, seeing him makes him feel insecure, but he can't hate him. nor seokmin.

because love is love.

“please..” he added.

“fine. come in.” jeonghan gave in, his stomach feeling a bit queasy as jisoo took step into their dorm. soonyoung mumbled a few curse words before grabbing his caot and pushing past jisoo and heading out the door.

leaving the two of them alone.

“so...how have you...uhm...been?” jisoo scratched behind his neck while staring at the ground.

jeonghan was in the kitchen, grabbing the broom from the side of the fridge, “amazing. yourself?”

“good...” jeonghan could feel the awkwardness, he could even see it. he was trying to figure this boy out, why was he here? “so you and seungcheol..? ”

jeonghan stopped sweeping, he knew this boy all too well. there was something he was implying, maybe even not saying, he needed to figure it out.

he turned around, “listen, why are you even here? jisoo it has been almost nine months and you haven't shown up once. so why now?”

jeonghan just wanted him gone, he just wanted him to leave and never show up again. it seems that every time he finds an ounce of happiness, the world pulls the rug out from under him.

“how could I jeonghan? I knew you hated me, seeing me would only hurt you more....I wanted to..but I couldn't..” jisoo furrowed his brows together as he looked at the boy in front of him.

the long hair he used to love running his fingers through was gone, replaced with short wavy platinum colored hair. his high, prominent cheek bones looked even better today for some reason.

his small nose that he used to place kisses on was scrunched a bit, and the forehead he used to rest his on was shining under the living room light.

“not seeing you hurt more,” jeonghan clearly remembered those first few weeks.

no calls, no texts, nothing.

“jeonghan, you'll never understand how sorry I am. I never wanted any of that to happen...but you're really with him now?”

seungcheol. he knew from the minute he said that.

“honestly, this isn't any of your business. you have seokmin, and I found seungcheol. let's just let this be over now,” jeonghan stated.

he had not realized it, but the two of them were oddly close to each other now. inches maybe, when they were a few feet away earlier.

“i can't...” jisoo claimed.

“well figure out a way. after months of thinking why I wasn't good enough for you I found someone who doesn't make me think that way.”

it was true, seungcheol healed his heart. it sounds so cheesy but it is true. after meeting seungcheol, jeonghan feels genuinely happy with him. everything about seungcheol makes jeonghan's heart pump a million miles per second.

jisoo never did that.

but seeing him again, it made him think about everything they used to have. he has only known seungcheol for a few months, but he's known jisoo for a few years.

he hated thus confusing feeling. it drove him mad.

“jeonghan, seeing you again...it...I just...I miss you...”

jeonghan shook his head, “no, you don't get to do this. why couldn't you have come when I really needed you? I'm sorry jisoo, but I don't miss you.”

just as jeonghan was going to ask him to leave, jisoo grabbed the sides of his face and smashed his lips into jeonghan's.

at first, jeonghan squirmed and fought against it. but jisoo was strong, and his grip was tight. but soon, it loosened and jeonghan found his lips still connected.

it was unbreakable.

he knew this was a mistake, so why can't he pull away?

it doesn't feel the same, not like seungcheol. it feels needy and full of regret.

with seungcheol it feels soft and passionate.

jeonghan stop, his mind was screaming at him. every nerve in his body was feeling horrible.

still, he could not pull away.

—

HENLO I JUST SAW CHANGE UP. THE HECK. THEY LOOK SO GOOD FUCK ME UP !!! anyways, I'm in school but ehhh. I'm crying I freaking love seventeen.