"I love her. And that's the beginning and end of everything." -The Great Gatsby

My chest throbs with pain in a way it never has before. I can vaguely remember my fight with the Nightshade and the slashes of its claws that led me to this state. However, the image of Alessandra with tears streaming down her face is at the forefront of my mind.

My eyelids feel heavy but I'm able to wrench them apart. I immediately regret my decision when the bright lights of my bedroom overtake my vision. Once I'm able to blink away the fogginess, I attempt to sit up. It takes a few tries, but I'm able to prop myself onto my headboard. I still feel sluggish, and if I was less confident I would believe that what I am seeing is a result of my delirium.

Alessandra and Isabel sit out on the balcony of this room with a smile on each of their faces. The sight of Alessandra happy and with no tears on her face puts me at ease. A small grin makes its way onto my lips because it's hard for me to recall the last time I saw the Romano sisters like this. There was a time where they were inseparable and I've always harbored some guilt for their strained relationship.

I watch through the floor-to-ceiling windows as Alessandra tosses her head back and laughs at something Isabel said. If I did not feel like my body was run over by a bus, twice, then I might have been able to use my werewolf hearing to eavesdrop. Silently, I thank Isabel for taking Alessandra's mind off things. I do not know how long I have been out but I can see from here that Alessandra's eyes are swollen from crying and a lack of sleep. Hopefully, she remembered to eat.

I feel too weak to call out to her so I opt for mind link.

Il mio amore.

Her head whips to the side with such speed that I almost think I imagined it. She pushes up from her chair, the piece of metal falling to the ground, and uses her supernatural speed to get to me. For a second, she just stands there, taking me in, then she leaps onto the bed and gently places her face onto the small part of my chest that was not ripped up by the Nightshade.

"Oh goddess," she croaks out.

I bring my hand to the back of her head and stroke it in an effort to comfort her.

"I don't plan on leaving you mate," I tell her. It's the truth.

"You don't know that," she says into my neck.

It's said with contempt, not for me, but for the situation.

"If I lose you in this life then I'll find you in the next."

"I'll get the healer," Isabel says from a distance. She quickly scatters out of the room after uttering the words.

"I'm glad you two are making amends."

"There's still a long way to go but I know we can do it. I just want my best friend back," she tells me.

"I'm so sorry Alessia," I say earnestly. The guilt from breaking their bond makes me nauseous.

"I don't blame you anymore, Zane. I used to, but now I've realized that she made those choices. She chose to be a bully to my friends, she chose to say those cruel things about me, and she chose to ruin our relationship. I'm happy we are fixing our broken relationship but it's going to be a slow process."

Sometimes I wonder how in the hell I got so lucky. To have a mate like Alessandra is a blessing, a blessing I don't deserve but one I plan on treasuring till my last breath. No matter what she says, I will always feel the guilt of pushing her and Isabel apart. It was never my intention but it does not change the fact that it happened.

A knock on the door sounds and the small frame of Ambar Khatri enters through the door.

"Of course you get yourself attacked the day I'm visiting my family upstate," Ambar remarks.

I chuckle and surprisingly the pain is minimal.

"Always a pleasure seeing you, Ambar," I say.

"It would be more of a pleasure for me if you weren't on the brink of death a few hours ago," she mutters.

"I'm feeling perfetto!"

Ambar was my mama's best friend. Some of my best memories are the huge dinners we would have at her house with delicious Indian cuisine courtesy of Ambar herself. She's a sarcastic woman and if I was anyone else maybe I'd think she's okay with this situation but the shaking of her hands and rapid fall of her chest tell me she's scared.

"Ambar," I say quietly while grabbing her hand in both of my own.

"I promise you that I am ok. Nothing will happen to me."

She sniffles.

"I know you're Alpha now, but you're always going to be the baby of my best friend. The little kid who was always too mischievous for his own good but also the little boy who just wanted his mom back," she croaks.

"Ambar.."

"I'm sorry I couldn't save her!"

Her shout startles me but the sob that escapes her mouth breaks me because in all the ways that matter she is a mom to me.

"I've never said it before but I'm so sorry. No child should live without his mother and if you died too, I wouldn't be able to live with myself," she whispers.

"It was never your fault."

I open my arms up with a wince and she falls into them. I give her a tight hug and a chance to gather herself.

"I'm so glad you found her."

"Found who?"

"Alessandra Romano. You finally look like yourself again," she says, her face still buried in my chest.

I smile and look into Alessandra's eyes.

"Me too."

She pulls herself off of me and takes a deep breath.

"Ok, I'm fine now. No more crying, I promise."

She turns to Alessandra with her hand extended.

"Hello there child, my name is Ambar and I swear I'm not this much of a trainwreck most of the time."

Alessandra shakes her hand with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you, Zane always talks about your cooking."

"You'll have to come over and try it some time! I plan on moving back full time so timing shouldn't be an issue."

"That sounds great!"

They talk back and forth about their plans as if they've known each other longer than a minute.

"Ambar, don't you need to take a look at my injuries?"

Even though she's turned away from me, I know she's rolling her eyes.

"Men, always complaining or needing something," she mumbles.

"My injury did not impair my hearing," I deadpan.

"I'm aware," she muses.

She steps closer and applies bandages to my wounds. Most of them have begun the process of healing but the Nightshade's poison will make it a lot slower.

"It looks like Donata's balm worked well. It's critical that you continue to apply it until they are fully healed, but other than that, everything looks good."

She pulls me in for a goodbye hug and does the same to Alessandra.

"Don't be a stranger, Ambar," I tell her just before she exits the room.

She smiles and nods before leaving.

I know it's been hard for her to stay here without my mom around but I fear that the arrival of the Nightshades means it is better to have our healer on standby instead of just Donata.

Hiro, my dad, and the Romanos all trickle in after Ambar's departure. While I'm thankful for their presence, I want some alone time with Alessandra. She doesn't look quite like herself and I've caught her in a trance more than twice now.

"We were so worried!" Valentina remarks.

I assure them all that I am fine and eventually, they take their leave.

Even though the healer has told me that my body has almost returned to its normal state, Alessandra still looks uneasy. The whole experience has shaken her up pretty badly. She sits by my side, staring out the window like it holds the answers to the world.

"Alessia," I say the words as my hands hold hers. She flinched and my worries continue to grow.

"Tell me what's bothering you, little wolf."

She bites her lip in hesitation. I can tell she's not sure if she wants to disclose the information so I pull her onto my lap so she's facing me. The position allows me to have her full attention. I stroke her hands gently to encourage her.

"I thought you were going to die," she whispers.

"I realized that there's so much we haven't said or done and that I would never get the chance if you died," she says, her eyes glistening.

"I should have done something," she says. The words are soft and it nearly tears my heart in two because there is so much I should have done throughout the years with Alessandra. I should have handled the situation better, I shouldn't have let my anger and resentment get in the way, but most of all I should have given her a chance. A real chance.

Her cheeks are wet with tears that I immediately wipe away with my hands.

"Never cry for me. When you live with regrets you never truly get to live at all. We can fix our problems and start anew, okay? I don't want to have our past hold us down."

She nods in agreement. I pull her forward so she's laying atop my chest.

"I think I'll start with a date. Then we can plan our pack run because we never got a chance to do ours."

When new alphas take their position in a pack, whether it be an alpha or a Luna or both, it's customary to go on a pack run after. It's typical to do it after the mating ceremony but our circumstances were special.

"And what would we do on this date?"

Her playful tone brings a smile to my lips, at least she seems better.

"Well, I know how much you love the beach so I think a road trip to Southern California's best beaches would be perfect. You can teach me how to surf and we'll eat our weight in ice cream. Then at night, I'll take you to a fancy dinner with champagne and candles. We'll eat too much because we're wolves and the waiters will think we're crazy for ordering so much food. Then I'll take you back to our hotel, strip you bare, and make love to you."

It's meant to be romantic but I catch the brief scent of Alessandra's arousal. My penis twitches in response so I decide to goad her further.

"Maybe I'll have you put on whatever skimpy bikini you wore to the beach that day, then I'll fuck you nice and slow," I whisper into her ear.

The scent gets stronger. Alessandra lays on top of me and I catch her pelvis move just a bit. She wants to do something but she's scared for my health.

I could be bedridden from a deadly disease and I'd still fuck this woman.

"But I know how you like it, Alessandra. Once I'm done being nice and gentle, I'll fuck you like the slut you are."

That's what does it. She loses the small shred of control she had left and starts to grind against me. I'm only in my boxers but Alessandra has running shorts and a t-shirt on.

"Tell me why I'll fuck you like a slut, amore."

"Because that's how I like it," she pants, desperate for more friction. Her hips move faster against the bulge of my cock but they don't lose their precision.

"Take off your clothes," I growl. She obeys instantly. I watch as her hands reach for the bottom of her shirt. She pulls the material over her head and holy fuck she doesn't have a bra on. Her shorts are the next to go but I don't have the patience for her to hop off my dick and take them off.

"Wait," I tell her.

I will myself to extract my claws. They come out with a pop and I easily use them to slice through her shorts. Her white lace panties are all that remain between me and her. With as much gentleness I can muster, I use my middle and ring finger to stroke her clit, making sure to use the curved side of the claw. A shiver passes through her body, it might be fear or arousal, but I suspect it's both.

Werewolf claws are very sharp. I've used them to pluck out people's eyes, rip out their hearts, and much more. However, this is a first.

I continue to stroke her lightly with very little pressure. Then, I peel away the part of her underwear that sticks to her opening. The wetness from her vagina coats my claws as I pull away the fabric. With one slice, I've made a hole in her panties. It's the perfect size for her to impale herself on my cock. She arches her groomed brow at my actions but doesn't question it.

I let go of her panties and put my claws away. She immediately gets back to business. I watch as her dainty hand grips the base of my dick. It takes a lot of effort to not touch her, but I want her to control this.

For now.

With her hand still at the base, she angles her pelvis so the head of my cock brushes against her clit. She moves her hips forwards and backward. Each movement leads to her clit rubbing against my cock.

Fuck.

She lets go of my cock and grasps her breasts.

"Zane," she moans.

She starts to hump me. It's slow and full of finesse that drives me mad. She brings her face forward and captures my lips in a kiss. It's slow and sweet. My tongue caresses hers with delicacy and patience.

I pull away to watch as she squeezes her breasts. Her mouth is open and releasing the hottest little sounds. Just when I think she's going to kill me, she grips my cock again and lines it with her opening.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Then she fucking teases me again by rubbing the head against her heat.

I growl.

She smiles at my discomfort and before I know it, she's impaled on my cock.

"Fuck," I mutter.

She winces from taking all of me in one go. I angle her hips forward so she can alleviate the pain with some friction on her clit.

She moans at the pleasure caused by the stimulation. Her hips rock forward and backward to cause more of the pleasurable feeling. Then, she pulls herself almost completely off my cock before slamming back down again.

"Fuck!"

She grins at my response before doing it again. Once her rhythm is built, Alessandra rides me like I'm a stallion and fucking hell it feels amazing. Every time our skin meets it feels like an out-of-body experience. The sensations are so intense that I can feel every nerve in my body.

My hands rest below her ass to provide support as she bounces on my dick. The view of her just taking charge and lost in her own pleasure is almost enough to make me cum. I hold off because this is not going to be over so soon.

I feel her body tense as her orgasm approaches. She's almost there but she just needs a little bit more.

"Grab your tits," I rasp.

She complies.

"Now squeeze your nipples for me."

Her fingers pinch the sensitive brown buds. Just as she begins to roll them between the pads of her fingers, I bring my hand forward to rub her clit. The stimulation sends her over the edge and she chants my name like a prayer as she comes. Her pussy squeezes my dick like a vice but I'm not done with her yet.

I squeeze her ass in my hands and flip her onto her back. For a moment, my chest stings but the pleasure outweighs it. I retreat from her entrance and slam into her again.

I can always figure out the angle she likes by the little whimpers that escape her lips and the scrunch of her face as pleasure consumes her.

"Fuck, you're soaking wet for me aren't you baby?" I hold her chin in my hand as I deliver the words. She nods in response before letting out a long moan.

I thrust forward with more speed, each movement making a loud thwack.

I start to feel Alessandra's pussy convulse as she cums again.

"Zane, Zane, oh!"

The words die on her lips as the last wave trembles through her. My cock shoots out semen right after. I slowly pull out of her, watching the white substance leak out of her. With my middle and ring fingers, I rub my cum into her pussy lips, her entrance, and onto her thighs. She shivers at the contact.

"This is when you look the best," I whisper.

I lean forward so our chests are touching. She stares at me with her piercing eyes. They are slightly dazed from pleasure but I love it. I gather the remains of my release onto my fingers and slowly massage them onto her nipples. Her back arches off the bed. I know how sensitive her nipples get after sex which makes this more pleasurable for her.

"Thoroughly fucked like my slut, with your hair all messed up, flushed cheeks, gleaming eyes, and my cum leaking out of you," I whisper directly into her ear.

"Oh goddess Zane we can't go again, it's bad for your injury!"

Her words don't match her actions because she's already trailing her fingers down my abs and towards my cock. Dirty words always do the trick with my mate.

"You're never going to be bad for my health, now get on all fours."

They aren't empty words. I'm fairly certain she revived me with her body.

We end our night with a couple more rounds before we pass out from exhaustion. Just before the darkness claims me, I wonder how I ever lived my life without this woman.

A life without Alessandra is like a life without color. A cold existence with darkness and nothing to give it life.

That night, I fall asleep with thoughts of my mate but wake up to the horrid nightmare that has not stopped plaguing me for the past two years.