《Evolve》16 - Cash Grab
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We're in the lounge, watching a documentary on grass. I'm not sure why we're doing this but for some reason I'm stuck here, watching the mind numbing show. My other friends all sit quietly, not making any moves to change the channel.
And now, back to the documentary channel's feature presentation, Grass: Nature's Carpet. There are many different types of grass, for example, Bermuda-
"Okay, why are we watching this?" Nicole asks, and I throw my hands out in frustration.
"I'm not the only one who's slowly dying inside because of this?" I sigh. "I thought I was losing my mind."
"I hate grass!" Michael tells us.
Dana tells Chase, "yeah, change the channel."
"On it," he says, and picks up the remote, which doesn't work, and the grass documentary stays on.
"Make it stop!"
"I'm trying," he tells Michael, "the remote's not working!"
Nicole makes a sound, like she has an idea, "my grandfather said that when he was a kid, they would just walk up to the TV and change the channel by turning a dial or something!"
"A dial?" I ask, confused. TVs don't have dials, they just have strangely shaped holes.
"So I have to get up?" Chase asks her, reluctant to move. This is a fair argument, but I'd say that watching grass is worse than momentarily leaving your seat.
"Just do it," Dana scoffs, and he gets up, walking over to the TV.
He feels the TV edge and looks behind it. He turns back to the group, looking sceptical, "I see no dial."
"Papa lied to me?" Nicole says, shocked, and I shake my head at them both.
"Try the other side," I say, and he frowns at me, but makes his way over.
"Nicole, Dana, Harper, gues what I did!" Zoey says, and I look over to see her standing next to the TV, having just run into the lounge.
"You bought a universal remote!" Chase jokes, and she looks at him in confusion.
"No?"
"Forget him," Nicole says, "what'd you do?"
"I signed us up to be on the planning committee for Spring Fling!" She tells us, and I groan.
"Us?" Dana asks her, while none of us show any signs of excitement. I would be excited, but Logan had shut me down immediately and explained how awful the Spring Fling usually is. Now I'm just a little bummed.
"Yeah, you, me, Nicole and Harper! How cool is that?"
Michael pretends to get excited then turns stoic, "not very."
"Yeah, Spring Fling is lame," Chase tells her.
"Lame?"
"Lame," he insists.
Nicole is curious, "why?"
"You don't know?" I ask them.
"Every year they get some band that no one wants to hear," Michael explains.
"And we all sit outside, eat lukewarm wienies and wish we were somewhere else," Chase says, sitting back down.
"I hate lukewarm wienies!"
I sigh, "well, maybe this year can be different."
"Yeah, this year, Spring Fling's gonna be awesome," Zoey tells the boys, "cause us girls are planning it, right?"
"Yeah," I say, hoping this isn't a stupid idea and that we can actually make it worthwhile. The other girls just moan, sinking lower and avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, act excited," the blonde tells them, and they keep moaning but wave their arms as they do it.
Michael turns to the disappointed girl, "face it, Zoey, nobody wants to sit outside in the hot sun and watch some lame band."
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"Well, what if we get someone awesome?" She suggests, and I stand up, getting excited.
"Like, like-" I can't think of anybody who isn't too famous to perform at a school, "Britney Spears?" I say, running out of steam.
"Maybe not," Zoey says. "But, maybe, Drake Bell?"
"I love him!" Nicole says.
Dana leans forwards, interest building, "wait, we're gonna get Drake Bell?"
"We're gonna try!"
"Oh, this might actually be good," I say, happily, and then we're left in a brief silence which allows the documentary to settle back into my consciousness.
Look how green it is.
"No more grass!" Chase shouts at it, desperately trying the remote. "I can't take it!"
Coming up next, weeds.
I laugh, "you got your wish, Jim," I say, and keep laughing as the girls and I go off to begin planning the Spring Fling.
Zoey gets on the phone. "Yeah, I'd like to speak to the manager for Drake Bell."
Nicole whispers to Zoey, "ask him if he'll sign my poster!"
Zoey shushes her eager friend, and turns back to her call, "oh, hi. I'm in charge of Spring Fling here at PCA, and we'd just die to get Drake Bell."
"Tell him I think he's cute!" Nicole says, reacher across Dana and me to get Zoey's attention.
Zoey shushes her again. "Really? That's awesome!" She covers the phone to share her news, "they give discounts to schools!" I high five Nicole.
"We go to a school!"
"Yeah we do!" I say, enthusiastically, and I see even Dana is smiling.
"Huh?" We look at Zoey, who's gobsmacked by whatever she's just heard. "Um, yeah, okay." I watch her, knowing what she's like, and am certain she's lying about how okay everything really is. "Let me check, and I'll call you back." She hangs up.
"Well?" Nicole asks.
"Either of you got five thousand dollars?" She asks, and I gape at her.
"Five grand?" Dana asks, and I stand up, feeling a nervous desire to move coming over me.
"That's the school discount rate?" Nicole asks, stunned.
"I can ask Logan?" I suggest, "maybe he'd let me take out a loan."
They think it over, but are interrupted by Dustin running in, and my own brother next to him.
"Zoey!"
"Hey, Kiddo!"
"Harper!"
"Jake?" I ask, concerned.
"Is it true?" Dustin asks.
"What?" Zoey asks?
"That you're getting Drake Bell!"
"The Drake Bell?" Jake asks, and I groan, realising why he's here.
"Absolutely not, you can't meet Drake Bell," I tell him, pulling him off to the side, while Zoey talks to her brother.
"Why not?"
"Because you're a menace, and he's a cute guy who I don't want you talking to!" He sticks his tongue out at me, and leaves, and I roll my eyes.
"Fine! I'll figure it out alone!" I watch him turn the corner, and tell the girls that I'll ask Logan, before they break Dustin's heart by telling him there won't be any Drake Bell.
H: If we needed five grand to get Drake Bell to perform at Spring Fling, would you give that to me?
H: :)
L: no way
H: I'd pay you back!
L: hey you cant pay me back the girls attention that drake bell would steal from me
L: have you seen his hair
H: You're not giving me the money because you're jealous of Drake Bell?
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L: no
H: Logan...
L: im not jealous i just dont want him here
H: Fine, thank you anyway
"Logan said no," I tell them, and they groan.
"Sorry, kid, Drake's not coming," Dana tells Dustin.
"Why not?" He asks, sadly.
"His manager wants five thousand bucks," Nicole explains.
"So get it," he says, and I laugh.
"Sure, we'll just go get it at the five thousand dollar store!" Dana says, sarcastically.
"It's not that easy," I tell him, more gently.
Zoey thinks of something, "you know, we could have a fundraiser."
"Do you think we could raise enough money?"
I shrug, telling Dana, "it's worth a shot."
"There's, like, hundreds of kids at this school," Zoey rationalises, "we should be able to raise five grand."
"If they all gave five bucks, that might even be enough," I add, hopefully.
"Here, I'll make the first donation," Dustin says, and I coo at him.
Zoey looks at the money, "where did you get twenty bucks from?"
"Quinn."
"Quinn?"
I groan, "what's she up to, now?"
"She's paying me to help her with an experiment," he says, and I frown.
Zoey is unsure what to do, "what kind of experiment?"
"Not sleeping," he says, simply. I tilt my head, thinking that this might not be safe for him. He continues to explain about the bracelet he's wearing, and how it's designed to keep him awake.
"It shocks you?" Zoey cries, grabbing the bracelet.
"Only if I start to fall asleep." He pulls away from her, "see, watch." He acts as if he's sleeping and the bracelet shocks him, making him yelp. "See!"
Dustin! You must stay awake!
"I know!" He shouts into the bracelet, and I shudder at the thought of having Quinn attached to my wrist, preventing me from sleeping. I've been exhausted from the exam prep I've been doing lately, and that's led to a lot of naps. I shudder again, at the thought of not having nap time. "Man," Dustin shakes his head, leaving the room, and I focus back on the girls, who all watch him leave with open mouths.
We go to find the Dean, hoping to ask about our fundraiser, and about getting Drake Bell. We wait outside, near his office, until we see him coming.
"Here he comes," Dana alerts us, pointing at him. He seems nervous, but I ignore this as we approach him.
"Okay, everybody look cute!" Nicole instructs, and we all try to make ourselves look worthy of holding a fundraiser.
"Um, excuse me, Dean Rivers?" Zoey approaches him, with all of us in tow.
"Yes, what is it, girls?" He ask, and I notice that he's even edgier up close than he was from a distance.
Zoey begins to ask about the fundraiser, "would it be okay if we-"
"Please, please, please, please, please," I watch as Nicole gets onto her knees, excessively begging him, even though he doesn't know what we want yet.
"Nicole," I sigh, pulling her up.
"First I ask," Zoey reminds her, "then you beg."
"Oh, right." She dusts herself off, and Zoey gets ready to start over.
"So, would it be okay if we had a fundraiser?"
"For what?"
"So we can get a really great band for our Spring Fling," she tells him, and he seems to think about it for a second.
He then asks us, "would there be any clowns at this fundraiser?"
We frown. "Probably not," I respond, not knowing anyone our age who would appreciate that kind of entertainment.
"Yeah, we hadn't planned on clowns," Zoey says, and he sighs.
"Good. I hate clowns." He goes back to nervously looking around, and I wonder we're interrupting some kind of breakdown.
"Is everything okay?" Zoey asks him.
He turns back to us, sharply asking, "why?"
"You seem fidgety," Nicole tells him.
"That's because I have a meeting today with PCA's chairman of the board," he explains, although surely that shouldn't make him quite so on edge.
"Oh," Zoey says.
"I see."
"Ah."
"Gotcha," I say, with finger guns and a wink.
His face screws up, "he's a little bit weird."
"Hey, at least he's not a clown!" Zoey jokes. We laugh, but Dean Rivers leans closer.
"Never joke about clowns," he says, seriously, and I begin to think I'm dreaming. Zoey apologises, and he leaves, without giving us permission to do our fundraiser.
"He's kinda freaky," Nicole tells us.
Dana scoffs, "kinda?"
"Yeah, well, he didn't give us an answer, which is way worse," I say.
"He didn't say 'no'," Zoey shrugs. "I think we got our fundraiser!" We take it, walking off to begin planning, when a cool car pulls in behind us. The car is clearly expensive, is loud, and has music blasting out of it. Music by Drake Bell. "Whoa."
"Really whoa," I agree, watching the young-ish man getting out of the car.
"Check out that ride," Nicole says.
The man walks near us, "what's up, girls?"
"Hey, were you just playing a Drake Bell song in your car?" Zoey asks.
"Oh, yeah, why? Do you like him?"
"Yeah, we're trying to get him to play at our Spring Fling," she tells him.
"Really? Wow, man, when I was a student here, Spring Fling was always lame."
"We're trying to break that tradition," I inform him.
Dana looks at him, confused, "you went to school here?"
"If I didn't, would I have this on my arm?" He shows us a mark on his arm.
"A pimple?" Zoey asks, and he looks quickly at his arm.
"Oh, no, sorry, wrong arm." He pulls up his other sleeve, "there ya go!" We look and see a tattoo of a stingray, our school's mascot, along with the 'stingrays' on it. It's the classic school symbol, and n one would have it if they didn't go here. Most people who go here wouldn't have it.
"Whoa, a PCA stingray," Dana says, impressed.
"How cool."
"Yeah, sweet tat," Nicole says. "Tat means tattoo," she explains to us.
"We know," I tell her. "Cool tattoo," I say, as he pulls his sleeve back up.
"Oh, cool car, too," Dana says.
"Oh, thanks, yeah, I love it," the man tells us.
"Yeah, it's nice," Zoey says.
"No, seriously, I love it. Like, I would totally marry it if that were legal. And if I hadn't already married Elaine." I awkwardly scratch my head while he solemnly thinks over his life choices. "Man, she bugs me. Oh well! I gotta pay a visit to your dean."
"Hang on!" I shout, stopping him from leaving.
"You're the chairman of the board?" Nicole asks him.
He nods, "that'd be me."
Zoey asks, "what does a chairman of the board do, anyway?" And I wait for his answer, since I have no idea.
"Not much, really. Basically, I just stop by once a month and harass the Dean."
"Why?" I ask, starting to understand the Dean's anxious state.
"Why not?" He asks. "Oh, that reminds me." He goes into his briefcase and pulls out a clown wig and nose which he immediately puts on. He squeaks his nose twice, and tells us, "he hates clowns."
"So we've heard," I say, stunned.
"Later, girls." He walks off and we all laugh in disbelief, before getting back to work.
We get our fundraiser set up and are about to begin.
"Okay, people, thanks for coming to help out with this fundraiser," Zoey says, addressing our volunteers. I had forced Logan into coming, and there are actually quite a few of us.
"Do we get paid for this?" Michael asks, and I roll my eyes.
Dana tells him, "no." He leans away from us, and we turn our attention back to Zoey.
"Now, all we gotta do, is raise five thousand dollars, and then we can get Drake Bell to play at our Spring Fling!" We all cheer at this, except for Logan. "Now, let's make sure everyone knows their jobs. Dana, you're in charge of the Bully Bash."
"Love the bashin'," she says.
"Oh, and than you to Jack," Chase says, pointing to the bully, "for taking time off of his bullying to help us out."
We all look at the boy, "you just better get Drake Bell. Or you're all dead." I step away.
"Alright," Chase says, uncomfortably.
"Nicole, you're gonna start off with the watermelon smash," Zoey resumes.
Nicole raises her hand, "are you sure kids are gonna pay money to hit a watermelon with a baseball bat?"
"Yes, boys love to smash things. Trust me."
I look to Logan, to confirm this, and he shrugs. "We have a lot of pent up feelings," he explains.
"It's true," Michael adds.
"We enjoy smashing!" Chase says, and they all chuckle.
I shrug, and Zoey keeps talking. "Okay, now, Michael, you're gonna start off by selling the new Drake t-shirts."
"I can do that," he pulls up one of the shirts. "Hey, these are cool! Where'd you get 'em?"
"Zoey designed 'em!" Nicole says, proud of her friend.
"Now, me, Harper, and Chase and Logan, and the rest of the girls are gonna start off by washing the teacher's cars."
"Whoop," I say, excited to have a job.
"Now, we've got eight hours to raise five thousand dollars. We gonna do it?" We all cheer, with me making Logan's hand wave in the air as he refuses to cheer. He's still smiling, though, and I think he's starting to warm up to Drake Bell.
We all take our positions, and get ready to raise money.
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