"Guys, this is the last performance of my tour. And during all the other shows I would do one or two more songs, but today, as I am back in my home town New York, in want to tell you guys something that everyone has been speculating about since the beginning of my carrier.

(Oh if you could see me now)

(Oh if you could see me now)

It was February 14 Valentine's Day

The roses came but they took you away

Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm

Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone

It's about the circle of rose on my left upper arm. And this story starts 10 years ago. Well much earlier, but the point of the story starts then. It was February 14th, so valentine's day. Will, my best friend, was going to come over to hang out, just as was normal for us. Gut I had a mission that day. I was going to tell him I was in love with him. When Will came over, however, he was crying. He explained to me that he and his parents were moving that day. His parents had kept it a secret until the night before. The circle of roses that I had bought for him stood forgotten behind my bed. His parents were waiting outside and he had only a few minutes left. The roses are a symbol for our friendship, and it keeps me strong.

And I'll never get to show you these songs

Man you should see the tours that I'm on

I see you standing there next to Mom

Both singing along, yeah on and on

Will always told me to do something with my passion for music. All the songs I wrote while he was around are now hits. And whenever I'm touring, preforming on stage, I see you standing next to my mom, singing along in that off-key voice of him.

And there are days when I'm losing my faith

Because the man wasn't good he was great

He'd say "Music was the home for your pain"

And explained I was young, he would say

Maybe I should explain more. See Will gave me his address to visit him in the future. And when I was finally able to travel to his house to see him, there was an iron fence surrounding the house. A big sign on the fence said.

After asking around a little, I was told that the owners had died during a gas explosion. There were no survivors. And now you might think, wtf Nico? Why do you cry about some dude you were in love with 10 years ago? That's because Will was just my friend. He helped me through every bad time in my childhood. And if you're crush is taken away from you, your first crush, you'll never forget them. Because they made you feel special. When my mom died, Will told me to write my feelings down in any form.

Take that rage, put it on a page

Take that page to the stage

Blow the roof off the place

I'm trying to make you proud

Do everything you did

I hope you're up there with God saying "That's my Neeks!"

He would say: Take your emotions and turn them into a song. Turn that song in your kick-start for your career. He always cheered me up. And I hope, Will, where ever you are you're watching this somehow and you'll say: that's my Neeks!

I still look for your face in the crowd

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now) (Oh if you could see me now)

And Will, every time I preform, I look for one face in the crowd. Yours. What would you do if you saw me like this? Would you be proud of me? Would you scold me for every mistake I made? If you could see me now. I still love you, and maybe the feelings were never mutual. Maybe, you never died and left as you always said, the day you turned 18. Maybe you have a family now. Kids, a wife, a dog, a husband. I don't know. But I know something else. I would give anything if you could see me now.

If you could see me now would you recognize me?

Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me?

Would you follow every line on my tear-stained face

Put your hand on my heart that was cold

As the day you were taken away

I know it's been a while but I can see you clear as day

Right now, I wish I could hear you say

I drink too much, and I smoke too much dutch

But if you can't see me now that shit's a must

Would you still recognize your Neeks? The shy, introvert, bullied, broken kid that blushed when asked to answer a question. If you met me now, would you dry my tears, warm the heart that hasn't beaten properly since that valentine's day? And I didn't follow your orders. Will, the future doctor, told to always be healthy, and whenever I would do something unhealthy, I had to think of him. The truth? I never stopped thinking of you. Not when I drink not when I smoke. NEVER! You would be so angry at me for like ten seconds, because you just could stay mad at me.

You used to say I won't know a wind until it crossed me

Like I won't know real love 'til I've loved and I've lost it

So if you lost a sister, someone's lost a mom

And if you lost a dad then someone's lost a son

And they're all missing out, yeah they're all missing out

So if you get a second to look down on me now

Mom, Dad I'm just missing him now

I still look for your face in the crowd

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

Oh, oh

Would you call me a saint or a sinner?

Would you love me a loser or winner?

Oh, oh

When I see my face in the mirror

We look so alike that it makes me shiver

I still look for your face in the crowd

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

Yeah I'm just missing you now

I still look for your face in the crowd

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow

Oh if you could see me now

(Oh if you could see me now)

If you could see, you could see me now if you could see, you could see me now

And his face is all I see. He... he is right there!"

And that was right. Standing on the stage next to me was a tall, blonde man. He looked at me. He took three steps forward, and cupped my face in warm, soft hands.

"My little Neeks. Of course I would sing along to every song. And yes it would be terrible. But it would be filled with love. Because, if I'm honest, I loved you all those years, but I was too afraid to admit it. But I still love you."

Will slowly leaned towards me and softly kissed me on the lips.