"I'm an open book, I'll tell you everything I know to the darkest corners of my mind." —Mia Wray.

••

I open the transparent door and enter the music room. I am not feeling as confident as the last time because Blaze is not with me. However, to my good fortune, I see Mal sitting at the corner, and a small smile grace my lips as I ignore the staring faces and plod over to him, occupying the seat right next to his.

"Hey."

He smiles widely at my presence, splaying an arm over his chair. "Hey..." He glances behind me as if looking for someone and my brows pull together curiously.

"What?"

"I thought the troublemaker would come with you." His expression holds aggression saying that statement, and I can tell he detests Blaze a great deal.

"Well...he'll be here soon," I mutter, hoping he doesn't hear but attempting to be honest at the same time.

He looks over at me with disbelief etched on his face and I shrink in my shoulders. "So, you still talk to him?"

I shrug lightly, but I know it's not a light matter for him. I feel so guilty.

"Yeah...I kind of still do."

He sighs and looks away. He has the right to be mad, but I have no control over myself when it comes to Blaze. Mal wouldn't understand.

I know he's thinking of me as nothing but a peabrain right now, but I can't find it within me to care. I see something in Blaze that they probably can't see.

"Okay, but you can't say I didn't warn you," he concludes. "He's not a good person and he only uses others to get what he wants."

"I just...I just kind of want to understand him for myself." I reply softly, more to myself than to him.

"If you try to understand him or even get close to him, he may pull you down with him. He'll drown you with himself. Be careful."

I sigh. What Mal is saying does, in fact, sound possible but I am not going to judge Blaze and I am not going to run away from him either. I wish everyone would just stop telling me to stay away from him. I guess I will learn my lesson if a lesson is there to be learned.

I try to change the topic.

"So um, when will you give me a chance to hear you play the flute?" I jerk my head to the instrument in his hand, and his smile comes back instantly as he shrugs his shoulders, red tints in his cheeks.

"Well, one day."

I chuckle. "Okay. You heard my talent so it's only right that I hear yours."

He laughs and during our shared blithe my eyes land on Justine's. She's eyeing me with absolute disfavor while she talks to the group. I look away and pretend not to notice, but it's hard to avoid two pair of obvious stink eyes even in a room of crowded people. I don't know what relation she has to Blaze for her to be regarding me with such loath.

I realize that it has been forty-five minutes and still no sign of Blaze. Maybe he isn't coming? What if he got into a fight with his dad and stabbed him? I inwardly chastise myself for thinking that little of him but what can I do when I have witnessed him gripping pointed objects two separate times to harm someone?

The music meeting is almost over, and he still hasn't shown up.

I guess he is indeed not coming.

I keep glancing in the direction of the glass doors and eventually Mal notices. "Didn't you say he was going to come?"

I shrug. "Maybe he got caught up with something?"

He shakes his head dismissively. "No. He's just finished playing his games with you and is probably moving on to his next victim. I told you Harmony, he will destroy you."

I blow my cheeks out but don't say anything because honestly, I have nothing to say.

The music meeting has ended and Mal flashes me a bright smile and promises to see me in Literature tomorrow before he leaves. The room is clearing out and I reluctantly get up to make my exit, still hoping that Blaze will come through the glass door. My head is hung deep in thought as I slide through the aisle of chairs and at the corner of my eyes, I see Justine approaching me.

She still has the stern glare she was wearing throughout the entire meeting and I notice that only one girl is left inside, and she is already pushing her way through the door which leaves me and Justine alone. She could stab me with that pointed flute she's holding and no-one would know.

I stand there awkwardly. "Do you need anything?"

She scoffs at the question and crosses her arms against her bust. "Don't give me that polite shit. What's your relationship with Xander?"

I blink. "Sorry?"

"Do you not hear well? You and Blaze, what's up with you two?"

I roll my eyes, and she narrows hers in disbelief. "Did you just roll your eyes at a Sophomore? Listen to me, you little first year—"

"If you are older than me then act as such. I don't need to answer your question with all due respect."

She gasps and I turn away to walk out when she speaks again.

"He's going throw you away when he's done with you."

My steps cease and I look back at her. She's wearing a smug smile. "He always does."

"Blaze and I aren't like that. We are just friends."

"That's impossible, dear. Blaze doesn't keep friends with a girl unless he wants to have sex with her. It's the same for you. He is hanging around you so he can take you to bed. Don't think otherwise, princess."

Her words should hurt me, but they don't. For some strange reason.

"Thanks for the advice," I reply, and she is taken aback by my intelligent response as I turn around and leave.

••

I am indeed a little disappointed that Blaze didn't show up, but I have no right to be sad when we spent almost the entire day together. I wonder how the talk with his dad went; I hope he doesn't get kicked from the school because of the altercation between him and Leo. I love his company too much not to see him anymore.

As soon I step through the door of my dorm room, April gets up from the bunk bed and I am just recalling that I have a matter at hand to deal with considering Blaze lied about us having sex.

"There you are, I have been waiting for you," she says.

I force a smile. "Hey."

She takes my hand in hers. "We need to talk."

She sits on my section of bed and I sit in front of her. She pushes her bouncy hair back from her forehead and her freshly painted blue nails are so aesthetic that I am almost distracted.

"Where did you guys go?" She asks.

Immediately, my mind replays the events that took place in his car at the beachside. Him kissing me, then touching me and I realize that I definitely cannot share that with April.

"I just tried to calm him down...that's all. We didn't really go anywhere; he just drove around."

You are a big fat liar, Harmony. My subconscious rubs in painfully.

She narrows her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we didn't have sex as he said. He was just trying to pull your leg I guess."

Well, that part wasn't a lie though.

She nods. "I know, I can tell when Blaze is kidding around. Plus, I know you wouldn't let him touch you."

A tide of guilt spreads over me, and I swallow it down.

"Um, yeah..." My response is thickly laced with agitation, and this doesn't go unnoticed by her.

"Hold on, did he..."

I shake my head quickly. "No, we didn't do anything."

She sighs. "You can be honest, Harmony."

"We..." I take a deep breath, trying to find the willpower to tell her what happened, but it feels like too much to share and so I decide against it again. "We didn't do anything..."

I am going to hell. It is official.

Her glossy lips break in an uneven smile. "Okay. I am relieved. Blaze is not someone you can be around when he's angry, so I am glad everything is okay."

"Alright..." I offer a smile, but I feel so guilty. I just lied to her; I have never lied before. I have always been so honest my whole life. Homewood is corrupting my clean slate of innocence.

Or is it Blaze? My subconscious adds.

"Okay. I am his cousin and I love him, but I am just scared for you. It may seem like Blaze like or love someone, but he doesn't really love anyone but himself, and he can't help it. He is really really convincing at making a girl thinks he likes her; he is an amazing actor. He's only nice until he gets what he wants from you and then bam, he doesn't care about you anymore. Just be careful."

I smile and nod and she trails her hand down my hair. "Great."

She stands to her feet and it is only now that I notice she's wearing a black, glittery dress that stops at her knees.

Is she going out?

"Where are you heading to?" I ask.

She smiles. "The girls and I are going to a club downtown, but we are not coming back tonight, we are staying with one of Tia's cousins nearby. Do you want to come?"

I shake my head. "Actually no, I had a long day."

She giggles. "Yeah it takes a lot of strength to calm Blaze down, I know. The last time he got into a fight with a boy next door our house and my dad tried to break it up and got punched in his nose."

I gasp, and she's laughing hard. "Blaze is hard work, trust me."

I smile.

"Anyway, I will see you tomorrow, I will be coming to school straight from Tia's cousin."

I nod. "Okay."

"Will you be fine alone?"

"Yeah, I will be fine." I smile.

"Okay, see you tomorrow." She waves with a grin and I offer one back as she disappears out the door.

I lay onto my back and release a breath I had no idea I had been holding. Lying takes a lot of strength. Next time I should really tell her the truth because she does mean me well.

Tonight, I will be the only one sleeping in the dorm. I love my alone time more than anything.

I take a shower and get dressed in shorts and a tank top. I catch my hair in a messy ponytail then crash into bed and get under my covers.

I want to call Blaze, but I realize I don't have his number. I know literally nothing about him.

I frown and turn onto my side, staring at the blank wall while my mind runs wild with thoughts of him. I close my eyes and try to force him from my head. If I keep thinking about him then I won't be able to fall asleep and I had quite a long day today.

A bang against the dorm door causes my eyes to flutter open. I stay still, wondering if it's just a figment of my imagination. I don't hear it again so I draw the conclusion that I must have been hearing things. I close my eyes again but immediately the sound comes back.

I get up and advance toward the door and the scary Saw movie that Blaze and I watched earlier replays in my mind, making me cringe. This is why I hate horror movies. I remind myself that it's just fiction, but I recall that people do in fact get cut to threads in real life and that worsens my anxiety. The knock comes again, and I take a deep breath before reluctantly opening the door.

I am shocked beyond words when my eyes grace Blaze's.

His dark hair is messy and mixed with his familiar captivating fragrance is the mild smell of alcohol. Had he been drinking?

"Hey." He smiles brightly at me and it takes my breath away.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"To see you, of course, green eyes," he states as he pushes past me and enters my room. He sure has a way of strolling in like he owns the place. He seems to be soberer than not because his footsteps aren't unsteady and his speech isn't slurred, but his hazy eyes display that he certainly had been drinking.

"You drank, didn't you?" I close the door and turn around to see him settling into my bed, bringing the covers up to his chest.

"Just a little," he mumbles, closing his eyes.

I walk over to him. "Are you planning on sleeping here?"

His eyes open and my breath hitches for a moment. His eyes are so blue.

"Yeah," he says simply.

"Yeah? But April—"

"April is gone for the night," he injects, shifting his head against the pillows comfortably. "You don't think I know that, green eyes?"

I swallow air. I love his company, but we cannot sleep together in one bed. That's a bit too dangerous.

"Um," I rub my palms along my thighs. "I will take the floor."

"What? Heck no." He grabs my arm as I am about to turn away and pulls me down onto the bed. My back is now pressed against his hard chest and he wraps his arms tightly around me from behind.

My eyes are the size of melons and my breathing has become unsteady once again. "Blaze..."

He buries his face in my hair. "You are not going anywhere," he whispers.

My heart flips in my chest at his words. I don't want to go anywhere either. If only he knew.

"Don't worry," he says softly. "I am not trying to have sex with you Harmony..."

I know.

My body relaxes against him and I can tell he notices because I feel him smiling as he snuggles his face into my nape.

"You smell good," he mentions, and his soft lips tickle my neckline as the words leave them. "As always."

I giggle. "Stop that; it tickles."

He titters. "Oh, so sorry."

He kisses my cheek gently as an apology and I close my eyes in contentment. He feels so warm and cozy next to me. I feel like this is where I belong. Here, lying next to this complex and weird human being that hides so much of himself. It's crazy that I am in a room with someone I know nothing much about and still feel so safe.

"Why did you drink?" I ask. I know he is guarded but I want to try my luck tonight.

"I just want to escape reality sometimes," he answers to my surprise. His response is sad, but I am proud of him for sharing that much.

I decide not to pry anymore for tonight. I have to take things step by step with Blaze. He may shut me out if I come on too strong. One step at a time.

"Harmony." His voice breaks through the dark silence in the room.

"Mm?"

"Sing to me."

I smile. "You want me to sing to you?"

"Yeah, I want to hear it."

"What should I sing?"

He's quiet for a while and then I feel his shoulders move against me in a shrug. "I don't know...you decide."

"Okay." I smile. "Close your eyes."

He does so, and I take a deep breath. I part my lips and begin to sing: "Where I Stand" by Mia Wray.

~I have seen a thousand things, a thousand minds and what they bring. To this world and to this home. But where I stand, well I don't know~

My voice is soft and almost a whisper as it bounces off the walls of the quiet room. I feel as Blaze relaxes against me, like a man who was in pain and got his dose of painkillers that finally, numbs his ache. It makes me feel fulfilled and I continue to sing so that I can feel him this contented for longer.

~I'm an open book, I'll tell you everything I know, to the darkest corners of my mind. My kingdom is wide, so wide-eyed I can't track the time between the spaces of my mind. 'Cause I have seen a thousand things, a thousand minds and what they bring to this world and to this home but where I stand, well I don't know~

I pause, wondering if he has fallen asleep because he is so quiet behind me. Then I feel him grip me tighter in his arms.

"Don't stop. Keep going."

It makes me smile and I resume my singing.

~I have little trouble walking in directions I don't know of and I'm walking and I'm walking blind. 'Cause I have seen a thousand things, a thousand minds and what they bring to this world and to this home but where I stand, well I don't know. And people come and people go. People I will never know but if I did and if I could, I'd wonder when and where they stood. 'Cause I have seen a thousand things. A thousand minds and what they bring to this world and to this home but where I stand, well I don't know~

The song ends and Blaze is still and unmoving behind me.

"Did you like it?" I ask with a smile.

He doesn't respond to the question, and so I shift onto my side so that I am now face to face with him, realizing that he is fast asleep.

A smile spreads my lips at the breathtaking sight of a relaxed soul sleeping in front of me.

And I realize something, something I have never quite admitted before or probably even realized...I am falling for him.

~

"I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know. Cause I played I cool when I was scared of letting go." —James Arthur (Say You Won't Let Go.)

♥️

✨

🖤