"Need you when I'm broken, when I'm fixed. Need you when I'm well and when I'm sick. Friends that I rely on don't come through. They run like the river but not you." —Zayn Malik.

"Stay away from me then!"

The words he uttered yesterday during his aggressive state have been plaguing my thoughts ever since. Did he mean them? Judging from the rage his eyes held, I am surer than not that he did.

To be honest, I was wrong. I should have never run ahead and judged him without seeking out the full story first, and now I just became like everyone else. I feel like I have failed both him and myself somehow.

While April showers, I get dressed in a knee-length jean skirt and a black long-sleeved top. I let my hair flow freely, not finding the strength to wrestle with it today as I am already using up too much mental energy on thinking about Blaze Xander.

My phone rings from the nightstand while I grab my bag from the bed, and I smile a little when I see my mother's face on the caller ID. I press it to my ear, feeling contented that she decided to call. There is just something about a mother that gives you solace whenever you're in one of your darkest days.

"Hey, mom."

"Harmony, how are you doing there?"

I shrug, even though she's unable to see me, and push my arms through the straps of my bag. "It's okay so far."

It's not.

"Okay great, I am so worried about you." She sighs, as the bathroom door opens and April steps out, drying her damp hair with a towel.

"Don't be Mom, I am alright, really," I assure her, somehow hoping she could turn on her psychic-motherly-abilities and realize that I am currently dying on the inside.

Blaze is the type of person that if he's angry with you it cuts so deep that you can feel the physical pain in your chest. I am aware that I am slowly becoming attached to him and I hate that. It surely isn't healthy, especially since I am almost sure he isn't feeling the same level of affinity for me. Seeing how easy it was for him to cut me off.

Evidently, I did deserve the retaliation I got. I did give him a hard slap to the face without even hearing him out. But anyone would give that reaction after the inhumane response he gave to the situation. He seemed to not have genuinely cared and kept on smiling sadistically as if Malcolm's misery was only entertainment for him.

I wanted to believe in him, and I still want to believe in him. Regardless of what happened yesterday.

"Okay dear, and your brother misses you a lot."

I smile at the mention of my little brother, and then his gentle voice comes on the line, causing my grin to expand.

"Harmony!"

I chuckle. "Eli! How are you?"

"I miss you."

I feel the tattered pieces of my soul slowly molding back. I miss my family. "Me too, soldier."

April is listening to my conversation and smiling while she crashes onto the bed, crouching down to slip her shoes on.

"Take good care of mom now, okay?"

"Okay."

I kiss him through the phone before my mother's voice returns on the line. "Remember if you need anything call me, Harmony."

"Sure, mom."

"Okay, bye sweetie."

She hangs up, and I slip my cell into the pocket of my jean skirt. April looks up at me, fighting to get her left foot into her shoe while producing a struggled smile.

"You live so nice with your family, my parents quarrel all the time, hence why I decided to board. They drive me crazy. I am jealous of how loving your family is."

A smile adorns my face as I lift my shoulders. "Well...it's just my mom, my brother and I."

Finally getting her boot on, she releases a breath as she straightens up, groping her brown hair into a quick ponytail. "No Dad?"

I shake my head, pursing my lips. "He died..."

Her expression softens entirely, and I can tell that she's regretful about bringing the topic up. "Sorry I didn't know—"

"No, it's okay." I fan it off dismissively. "It's cool. Ready to head out?"

Her look of sympathy is unyielding but I guess she discerns that I prefer not to talk about it and so she chooses to let it be. "Okay let's go."

She stands up and my eyes fall to her feet, immediately taking a fancy to the boots she's wearing. They are made of black leather and stop just above her ankles. They seem highly weather friendly.

"I like those." I smile.

She grins, turning her heel at different angles. "Thanks, maybe I could get you one? To wear to Blaze's party next week."

Blaze's Party?

I don't think I will be attending considering he told me to stay away from him.

Observing the indecision on my face, she shakes her head knowingly, crossing her arms against her bust. "Don't back out, please?" She drops her shoulders childishly, pouting her lips with drooping eyes. "You promised."

Yeah, I did promise, I know, please don't rub it in.

I sigh, not wanting to scar her feelings. I was wrong to make a promise that I wasn't sure I would be able to keep, and so it is only right that I live up to it. I just hope that I won't be around him too much for the night.

"Okay," I breathe, and she beams, grabbing her handbag from the bed. "Awesome! I was scared you'd back out." And she laughs. "Okay, let's head out."

We leave the dorm room and begin our journey down the hallway and April points in the opposite direction from where I am heading. "My class is that way."

"Oh okay. Mine is the opposite direction." I smile.

"Alright. Well, eat lunch with us in the Caf today, alright?"

I prefer eating alone but agreeing just for today won't kill me. I'd hate for it to seem as if I am always turning down her friendly offers.

"Um, okay, I will."

She grins and waves at me before she turns away and disappears around the corner.

••

Luckily, I arrive at Literature class on time. I recall that I was late for the first lecture last week because Blaze had kept me up on the corridors, and somewhere deep down I kind of secretly wish he was there to keep me up today.

I see Malcolm at his usual seat and fortunately, the spot beside him is empty. I have a ton of unanswered questions after what happened yesterday, and this will be the perfect opportunity to solve my curiosity. This is what I should have done before slapping Blaze across the face and cussing him out the way I did. Thinking about it makes me wince internally.

I sit in the chair beside him, fixing the strap of my bag over the arm of it. My presence makes him look up from his notebook and I am surprised to see a smile on his face. "Good morning."

"Good morning." I offer one back, placing my book and pouch on the desk.

The lecturer's back is turned as he jots away on the board, and I take the opportunity to begin my inquisition.

"Um, Mal..."

He looks at me, and I can tell he knows what I want to ask.

"Did Blaze really..."

"Yes. Blaze almost made my sister commit suicide."

I have heard that statement before, but it still pains my heart to hear it again. Maybe I was hoping that today his response would have been different and that yesterday had just been a misunderstanding. But I won't be quick-witted this time. I need more information.

"What happened?" I ask.

He rakes a hand through his hair and leans closer to me in his chair. "My sister liked him, so she confessed and told him she did, right?"

I nod my head.

"He never said he liked her back. He slept with her then the next day he treated her like she was no one. He laughed at her, teased her, sometimes he even straight up ignored her. She couldn't handle it. So, she spoke to him about it and he told her to go kill herself."

My brows perch up. What?

"So, she did what any vulnerable girl would probably do. She attempted to kill herself." Mal laments, and I can see the mortification on his face as he speaks. "She loved him, and he trampled all over her heart and didn't even care. He didn't even visit her at the hospital. At no time at all. Do you know how awful that was for her?"

I look down remorsefully. "I am so sorry."

"He's cold, Harmony...you should stay away from him. He'll probably do the same thing to you."

I swallow the uneasiness in my abdomen.

If all of that is true then Blaze is indeed very cold-hearted and immoral, but I still feel like there is more to the story, and I have already learned my lesson about judging him just by listening to one side of the mystery.

I want him to tell me what happened, but I know Blaze will not open up to me that quickly or easily. He is really guarded and no matter how much time I spend with him, he just won't show me his scars.

••

I should have never agreed to eat with April and the girls in the cafeteria. I am already starting to regret it. Usually, I would take my lunch to the dorm because the room is quiet, and I get to watch a movie on my laptop while I eat.

The Cafeteria, however, is just so crowded and noisy and the smell of the bean stew that they make every day is dreadfully sickening.

I guess Mal was right about their food being awful which is why I bought my usual tuna sandwich and boxed milk from the hall's snack bar.

I scan the cramped room for April and the girls, spotting them at the far corner of the lunchroom. Immediately, I notice that James is also there, and beside him is...Blaze.

My heart misses a beat. He's dressed in a black hoodie with a white baseball cap turned backward on his head, his black curly hair poking out from the open space. He has one foot perched onto the bench beside him while he bites largely into his burger, his jaggers pants revealing a smooth, spotless ankle. Even from afar, I can tell he smells good. He has that clean look to him.

I should leave. I don't want to eat in here knowing he told me to stay away from him. I'd hate to seem as if I am forcing myself into his life.

I turn away to slip out unnoticed when I hear Tia's voice above the irrelevant chatters in the room.

"Harmony!"

Sigh.

"Harmony!"

I blow my cheeks out before whirling around, forcing a smile as I wave awkwardly.

"Come over!"

Blaze looks over at me, but his expression is unreadable as he looks back to his food, seeming uninterested.

I bite my lip hard as I hesitantly make my way over to them, hoping that maybe the floor could open and swallow me up. I don't normally eat in the cafeteria and Blaze may mistake it for me wanting an opportunity to see him. That's not the case; I totally forgot that he eats lunch with them too.

"Hey." I smile in discomfort, and April scoots over and pulls up a chair for me to sit between her and Tia.

"Thank you," I say as I rest my lunch onto the table.

I see when Blaze's eyes fall to the milk for some reason, and I can't help reminiscing on when he drank from my straw my first day here. Maybe that's what he's remembering too. Or maybe not, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me anymore.

"Dude! Seriously?!" April smacks James hard on his shoulder as he quickly removes his hand from her tray, popping the fries he stole into his mouth. "You just ate yours!"

He waggles his brows and sends her an air kiss, reaching for his can of coke and putting it to his lips. I smile a little.

"Harmony, which class did you have this morning?" Yuna asks while she squirts some ketchup on her burger.

"Literature," I reply, sticking the rainbow-colored straw into my boxed milk.

Tia frowns and props her chin onto her knuckles. "I had Geometry; I hate it so much! Why did I major in Maths again? Can someone tell me?"

"Because you obviously hate yourself," Blaze says softly, and the table cracks up laughter as she slaps him playfully on his bicep, causing him to smile toothily.

He's so beautiful when he smiles.

Tia sighs."It's not that I hate myself. My dad forced me to major in it. He's a math teacher."

"My mom wanted to guilt-trip me into majoring in Literature, but I told her if she keeps forcing me, I am going to trim all my hair off and pierce my navel." Yuna shrugs, taking a bite out of her sandwich, mayonnaise dripping down the side of it.

Tia's face screws up in confusion as she thinks hard on what her friend just said. "Isn't your navel already pierced?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that." Yuna raises her eyebrows cheekily, and everyone laughs again.

Surprisingly, lunch isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but the sad fact that Blaze hasn't made eye contact with me since I sat here is disheartening. He is blatantly ignoring my presence and it is so obvious.

I put the straw between my lips and begin to sip my milk when a girl suddenly plops herself down onto Blaze's lap, almost causing me to choke on the diary.

To say she isn't attractive would be a fable. Her long black hair is tightly permed, flowing over her shoulders and highlighting her oval-shaped face. She has a small waist based on the view I am given, and her thighs are thick, pressing the life out of Blaze's legs. He doesn't seem to mind as he puts a fry in his mouth nonchalantly.

But I care. For some weird reason, it bothers me. There is an odd feeling in my chest as if someone just pushed a dagger through my beating organ. I am not sure what this emotion is; it confuses me.

I blink my eyes as drop my gaze to the square box in my hand, hoping this feeling inside me will leave soon.

April rolls her eyes while she puts a leaf of lettuce in her mouth, and I get the feeling that the girls aren't really fond of whoever this female is.

"I miss you, babe," she purrs as she pulls his hat off, raking her slender fingers through his bouncy hair. The silky strands slipping through her fingers.

Yuna is pretending to vomit as she fakes sticking her finger down her throat, and Tia is eyeing the chick with a sure look of distaste.

Yeah, they don't like her.

"If you miss me, just come to my dorm later," Blaze says casually, and I look up at him, the statement troubling me deeply.

"Damn, when will you sit on my lap like that, April?" James whistles and she scrunches her face up repulsively.

"In the afterlife. But then again, life after death isn't guaranteed so that may never happen, James."

"Sure, babe. You don't even have to ask twice," the girl answers to Blaze, and in short order, her eyes drift over to me.

I quickly slump my gaze to the untouched sandwich sitting in front of me, not wanting to draw attention to myself. Keeping my eyes down normally saves me from possible conversations. But it doesn't work this time.

"Are you a first-year?"

I look up to clarify if she is speaking to me, and she lifts a plucked eyebrow, her grey eyes demanding and expectant. Blaze is finally looking at me now, but his expression is straight and vacant, giving nothing away.

I nod half-heartedly, and to my surprise, the girl bursts out laughing, causing everyone to look at her, puzzled.

A rush of insecurity sweeps over me as I fidget self-consciously, wondering why my answer was so funny.

"No wonder. You dress like a fifth grader and you drink from small juice boxes. I mean, who at this age does that? You have got to be a virgin. I am sorry, this is just too funny, please don't be offended. Seriously, Blaze when have you started hanging out with these types of girls?"

My eyebrows furrow, and she continues. "I hope you're not offended, but I am just so shocked; never seen anyone like you before." And she laughs again.

Everyone is looking at her with pissed expressions. Apparently, she is the only one who got that joke, and I am very much insulted by her rude remark.

This is why I eat in my dorm.

Blaze clenches his jaw tight; annoyance is bright on his face.

"Get up."

The girl has barely stopped laughing when she looks at him in confusion. "What?"

"Get off my lap," he states firmly, his profile dark and venomous, catching everyone off guard, including me.

She sees the wrath in his eyes and gets up, pulling her shorts down, clearly embarrassed.

"And you can't come to my damn dorm room later or ever," he finishes. "So walk around the campus, like what you always do, and see if there are any other boys available around here, yeah?"

My eyes are wide open as I watch him humiliate her. Her eyes gather wetness, and she gulps sharply as she looks at me again before turning away and leaving the cafeteria.

Blaze continues eating after that as if he has no remorse for what he had just done, and April and the girls are smiling in satisfaction. James is still attempting to steal April's fries as if he has no care for what just took place. He probably knows his friend all too well.

My lips tug in a small smile. I guess that's his way of defending me. I want to say thank you to him, but I doubt he wants me to speak to him regardless of how he handled that just now. So I have decided that when he chooses to talk to me, I will offer my gratitude and then apologize for not trusting him as I should have.

~

"Only you know me the way you know me. Only you forgive me when I'm sorry. Even when I messed it up, there you are." —Zayn Malik.

••

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