Five minutes later and after washing off all of my makeup I'm still sitting on the sink with Jaxton in front of me. I've stopped crying and I'm sitting quietly with my arms crossed while he stands in front.

"You can go now Jax." I whisper saying my first words to him as he looks at the time on his expensive Rolex watch. "It's eleven thirty, when's your lunch?" He asks as I wipe my face.

"Around now or 12, but I've been slacking today and I don't think I'm going to take a lunch break." I tell him as I look down at my scrub jogger bottoms. I slip off the countertop and tuck my shirt back in before fixing my hair and adjusting my pants. I start tying them together again when I see how I look.

Confused, flustered, and a mixed up mess.

I take my braid out and redo it before I feel his presence behind me and see him in the mirror. We've never looked like this, he's behind me in the mirror and I hate to say it but we look good together. We just fit, and I hate that.

"I've got to go." I tell him as he steps forwards and places his hands on the sink caging me in so I can't move as he stands behind me and leans his head close to mine on my shoulder.

I look at his eyes in the mirror as he smiles at me. "At least just let me buy you lunch so you can eat with my gramps. He'll love it." He tells me as I shake my head no.

"I don't want to, I can't do that. Not anymore. Everything has changed Jax." I whisper as he shakes his head no smiling at me.

"It hasn't. Nobody has to know what happened. Clean slate, I forgot already okay? Friends again?" He asks me as I let out a laugh and he kisses the side of my head. He makes me crack a smile when he won't stop smiling himself.

"You haven't seen me as an asshole so you're still my girl Ry. I won't mess up your relationship, I'd never mess up anything important to you okay? Even if he doesn't deserve you and is a complete dick in my opinion." He tells me as I nod and lean back hugging him with one arm.

"Thank you. We'll get lunch so your grandpa is happy." I tell him as he smiles and we walk towards the bathroom door. I look out and see the coast is clear so he comes out as well. Then, I see my nurse manager waiting for me at the computer as I push Jax off.

"I'll meet you in the lobby." I tell him pushing him away as she stares at me madly. I walk up to her as she starts, "I don't know what is going on today Rylee Jane but get it together after lunch. You're allowed to have an off day but I don't expect this from you. Come back in a hour and a half, I'll cover for you until then. I expect you to have it together when you get back. End of discussion." She tells me as she looks at my face and I nod.

"Honey are you okay?" She asks as I nod and force a smile. "I'll be okay." I tell her as she nods.

I walk into the lounge room and grab my keys and wallet quickly before going into the lobby to see Jax waiting by the front door with ladies drooling over him. "You ready?" I ask behind him as he turns around and nods. He walks behind me with his hand on the small of my back guiding me out the door and to his Camaro in the parking garage.

He must not like driving his truck much because this Camaro is what I'm accustomed to with him now.

He opens the passengers side door and closes it behind me before going to the driver side and pulling out of the parking garage. It's silent between us before he pulls through town. "Where do you want to eat?" He asks as I stare at his beautiful jawline I had in my hands minutes ago.

"I don't care, anywhere is fine. Where does you step grandpa like?" I ask him as I cover my drool from staring at him.

"I'll bring him a steak and mashed potatoes and he'll be fine. It's his favorite, anywhere is fine with me." He tells me as I nod.

"Then just a steakhouse for him is fine. I have about a hour before I need to be back." I tell him as he nods. He pulls into a restaurant and parks as I grab my wallet and keys. He holds the small of my back again as we walk in together and get sat in the back of the restaurant in a corner booth. Without many people around us at all.

He takes a seat next to me and we both order and place an order for his grandma and step grandfather as we sit quietly. Everyone else is around the restaurant is having amazing lunch and it's just quiet with us.

"Ry don't be awkward." Jax tells me reaching for my thigh as he rubs it and pulls away making my heart flip. It's hard not to be awkward when he's all I can think about. I love Jacob and being with Jax makes everything harder than it should be.

"Jax I'm going to be honest with you." I whisper surprising myself.

"Go ahead." He tells me as I sigh. "You make my relationship with Jacob harder than it should be and I don't think I should be seeing you anymore, even as friends." I tell him as he rolls his eyes.

"I'm not going to argue with you because I respect what you want but that's stupid." He tells me blankly.

"No it's not Jax. I feel guilty being with you when I'm supposed to be in a relationship with another man." I tell him as I place my elbow on the table looking at him.

"Why does it matter if he trusts you?" He asks me as I roll my eyes at him.

"How would you feel if your girlfriend was eating lunch with another guy? One that she's kissed might I add." I tell him as he locks his hands together.

"Well that depends on how they both feel about each other." He tells me as I stare at him. I know wherever he's going with this, it's not good.

"Oh and how do you think they feel?" I reply smartly to him. "You really want that answer?" He asks as I nod.

"Why not?" I ask taking a sip of my pink lemonade and playing with the ice cubes and my straw while watching them float. He ordered water with lemon and hasn't touched it since we've sat down.

"They both like each other but the girl can't break up with her piece of shit boyfriend because she's codependent and she knows it. She loved kissing the guy who'd give her the world if she asked but she can't admit it." He tells me as I stop my hand. I stare at him before grabbing my bag and try getting out of the booth. He's pissed me off now, this wasn't supposed to happen at all.

"Stop running from everything." He tells me holding me down by my thigh as I throw his hands off of me.

"Jax shut up. Just shut up. You promised to not mess up my relationship and that's what your doing!" I exclaim as he fumes.

"What I'm doing?! What I'm doing? You know what Ry I'm trying my hardest not to flip my damn shit on you for being ignorant. Do you want to know what your perfect boyfriend was doing on the floor when you left? Flirting with the other nurses. If you think I'll lying check his coat pocket for a sticky note when you get home." He spits out as my gut turns.

"You're lying." I spit out at him as I slap a twenty dollar bill on the table and get the fuck out.

"You're mad because deep down you know it's true. I wouldn't lie about that shit." he tells me trying to calm me down. Thankfully nobody is around us so no one can hear this conversation.

"Fuck you Jaxton Rutledge." I tell him as I storm out of the restaurant. He's hot on my heels following me onto the street as he pushes me between the alleys and onto the brick wall.

"Fuck me huh? The one who actually treats you right?!" He shouts at me as I push him off of me. "Don't touch me." I tell him as he holds me down by my arms. I keep fighting him as he pins me down and I reach up slapping him when I get a hand free.

"You sick son a bitch. Don't call me and don't talk to me again." I tell him with tears in my eyes. "You don't need to fucking lie about shit when it comes to him, he wouldn't do that and the fact that you think that on the top of your head hurts me. You don't care about me you find me as a fucking joke. Eat a dick." I tell him as I step out of the way and wipe my tears walking back to the hospital right up the busy street as I cry.

"Ry don't walk down the street alone." He tells me following behind me as I keep going.

"I'm going back to work." I tell him pushing him away and I don't listen to him. I walk to the hospital and when I turn he's followed me to the side of the hospital building to make sure I got here okay. I look back as he turns and walks back towards the restaurant and I walk through the doors of the hospital and right to the cafeteria to sit and eat alone.

How could today get any worse?

___

It got worse. It got so much worse. Between patients that I could strangle to my feelings about Jaxton and Jacob the day is worse than I thought it would be. By the time my shift is over after a long twelve hours I wait beside Jac's truck before he's coming out of the hospital doors too.

He sees me and smiles as I walk up to him and hug his chest. I've had the longest day, and hugging him feels good, it does. He wraps his arms around me and I feel so guilty as I hug him back. I can't help but look at his white coat and stare remembering what Jax told me.

"How was it?" He asks as I hug his neck. "Tiring, how was ICU?" I ask as I pull away and he leans down and kisses me softly.

"Good. You're friend came back pissed as hell." He tells me referring to Jaxton as I slide my arms from around Jac's neck and to his arms as I rub them.

"Yeah, I told him I didn't think it was best for us to be friends right now. It is just was making me a little uncomfortable since I had a feeling that he liked me." I tell Jac as he nods.

"Oh I know he did the way he looks at you. But thank you baby, now I don't have to be so jealous." He tells me kissing my cheek as he pulls away too.

"You'll never have to be jealous." I tell him as he kisses me softly.

"It's only five and I know you're exhausted but I was hoping you'd let me cook dinner for us." He tells me as I smile and nod. I love this new Jacob so much. "Definitely" I whisper onto his lips as I step onto my tippy toes and kiss him.

He opens the car door and lets me in before he comes around and gets in driving towards our apartment. He rubs my thigh in his hand the whole time as he smiles and seeing him like this makes me happy.

I'm glad he's not holding this morning over us. We're both adults and human, I make mistakes but I love Jacob and I know I care about him. What Jax said is still in the back of my mind but I don't think Jac would cheat on me, I really don't. Not after what we've been through since the last time something like that happened.

He pulls into the apartment complex and we get out before he holds me in the elevator ride up to our apartment. We get in and strip out of our scrubs immediately, before taking a long hot shower together.

One thing leads to another before we're making out and he's kissing my chest before he stops. We have never, ever, done anything besides normal sex. We don't have oral sex, and it's normal for us to have a round of regular sex and be done. It feels good, but I just want more from him on the idea of it.

"Bedroom?" He asks pushing himself against me as I nod and pull him with me to the bedroom.

Except he finishes again, and I can't think about anything but Jax the whole time. When Jacob's moving his hips with mine it feels good but I can't finish anymore. It just won't happen, and by the time we're done I'm more wound up and confused than before.

It did get worse. The whole day did, because I'm more sexually frustrated than I've ever been in my whole life now.