After sitting with my grandparents for a few minutes and checking on gramps he starts smiling at me. "You know Rylee Jane?" He asks as I nod and feel my grandma rubbing my back like she loves doing.

"Yeah I do. She's an amazing woman." I tell him as he nods. "You like her" he adds as I nod, I can't lie to him about her because I do.

"Well I told her a few days ago she deserves more than her crap boyfriend. Told her today you were coming and she needed to meet you." He tells me as I laugh.

"Not talking about that, what are doing back in here?" I ask him. "I've got sepsis, they said it could kill me but I know it won't. Your grandma wouldn't take no for an answer and demanded they bring me to the ICU." He tells me as I look over at grandma in all her designer jewelry as she nods.

"Well, I'll let you rest. I'll be back." I tell him as I hug her and then hug him. He stops me before I pull away, "go get her", he tells me as I laugh.

"Alright old man. I'll be back and bring you lunch." I tell him as he nods. When I make it to the hallway I see Jacob standing down the hall talking to one of the nurses. He laughs with her as she flirts holding his arm. That's when I see her slip a sticky note into his coat pocket with what I'm assuming her numbers on. He grabs her back as they laugh and that's when I see his hand touching her thigh as she laughs.

He stops touching her back when he looks up and sees me staring at him.

She looks at me and grins as I start walking towards them both. "Where's Rylee?" Is the first thing out of my mouth when he stares at me.

"None of your concern" he tells me as I look down at the little guy. He's younger than me, shorter and should be intimidated. I make more than him in a week and Rylee deserves more, and I want her.

"Actually she is my concern when you're flirting with another girl." I call him out as his face pales.

"Get out of my ICU." He tells me as I smile. "Gladly. I'm sure the women at the front desk will tell me where Rylee is." I tell him as I walk past him and intentionally hit his shoulder with mine.

Punk.

I go to the front desk and ask about Rylee being my gramps nurse and immediately I'm told she works in the emergency room instead. I take the elevator down and it opens to the emergency room and I see her face behind a computer at the nurses station. She looks beautiful with her hair braided back following the screen with her eyes.

I walk through the halls and I know I'm getting stares but I don't give a fuck.

"Ry, can we talk?" I ask walking up to the front desk as she looks up at me with those green eyes that kill me.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She whispers to me as I shake my head yes. "Please Ry, five minutes." I ask as she sighs. She leads me to the conference room following me as she sits down and points to the chair next to her.

"Five minutes and we're just talking." She tells me as I smile and sit beside her. That's all I need for this.

I sit down next to Jax and my heart is going crazy. This isn't a good idea and I know it's not but I had to talk to him because I feel so bad about everything that's happened and how I haven't spoke to him.

"Ry, can you look at me?" He asks as I look over at him. The way he's sitting is showing his buff arms and small tattoo on the side of his neck closer to his chest.

"This isn't a good idea." I whisper to him taking my stethoscope off my neck and sitting it down on the conference table.

"Well I think it's a good idea because I haven't talked to you in almost three days." He tells me smiling at me as I look at his neck veins.

Then I see it, a hickey.

My gut turns as I look at it and feel sick to my stomach. I don't like the fact that he has it and it hurts me to know he got it recently. But he's not my boyfriend so I can't do anything about it, we're not together and I don't have a right to be mad.

"Your neck." I whisper out pointing as he quickly covers it up. "Sorry." He whispers as I nod and he pulls his hoodie up.

"We're not anything, the girl I was with." He tells me reading my mind as I stay still. It's quiet between us for a entire minute before it kills me.

"What was the purpose of this?" I ask him randomly.

"I needed to talk to you." He tells me as I laugh. "Really? We aren't even talking." I state out as he sighs and still doesn't talk.

"Fine. I'll start. My trip went amazing Jax so thank you. I really appreciate it, but when I got back Jacob decided that he wanted us. He's planned out our savings and he's already saving money towards an engagement ring. So thank you Jax, I appreciate it." I tell him as he nods.

"Well I'm happy for you then." He tells me back as I smile. This is the way the conversation should go right here. "So what's her name?" I ask him as he laughs.

"She's really not important. Just a thing kind of happened." He tells me as I smile at him. "Jax is a player!" I exclaim as he reaches to me and pinches my arm making me laugh and swat him away.

"I'm not. I'm a grown man." He tells me as I smile at him. "How mad was Jacob when he saw me?" He asks as I sigh.

"It wasn't too bad. He knows how I feel about you and how I feel about him too." I tell him as he looks at my hands.

"And how do you feel about me?" He asks staring at me as the temperature in the room suddenly gets ten degrees hotter.

"I like you Jax and I'm so thankful for you. I think Jacob knows that, and I think he's respectful of it now." I tell him as he smiles at me. He comes closer to me and almost comes closer than he should as I stop him.

"Well thank you for everything. I should get back to work." I tell him as he stops and nods.

"Yeah Ry, thank you." He tells me as he stands up. He opens his arms as I walk towards him and hug him tight. I smell his hoodie as he rubs my back freely while I grip his shoulders tightly. He moves one of his hands to my hip and one to the back of my head as he holds me in place and kisses the side of my head. Hugging Jax, it's different than hugging anyone else. He's so huge it's hard for me to hug him but he makes it feel so good when he wraps his arms around me.

I go to pull away and he loses his balance on his boot and falls back into the rolling chair as I fall onto his lap laughing. "Don't start trying to kill me Jax" I laugh falling into his chest as he keeps his arms around my waist laughing himself.

"Ry" he whispers. I'm sitting on his thighs straddling him and in such and intimate position when he stares into my eyes with his bright blue ones. I lean closer to him without even realizing what's going on as he grabs my face in his hand. It feels so good that my belly dances and my stomach clinches around him.

I don't know why I can't stop but I move my hands to hold both sides of his neck when his lips seal down on mine. And sparks and fireworks go off in my stomach when we finally kiss each other, fiercely. I feel his lips moving with mine as he slips his tongue into my mouth and moves his hands gripping my thighs and pulling me closer to him. I rub his neck as I move my lips enjoying this feeling so much. We both know that we've wanted to do this for days and it feels so damn good.

I kiss him back as I rub his neck and rock my hips on his. We don't stop, I keep kissing him with everything in me smiling onto his lips as he rocks my world with his skillful tongue on mine. He pushes his body closer to mine when I feel his chest on mine and he breaks away kissing down the base of my neck. I moan his name out softly as he starts sucking down my neck feeling up my ass and palming me through my scrub bottoms.

"Fuck Ry." He whispers kissing further down until he's on the top of my scrubs. He stands up pushing me onto the conference room table as I open my legs to accommodate his frame between them. He moves his hands up the bottom of my scrub top I don't stop him from feeling my stomach. I move my hands under his hoodie and rub over his beautiful six pack of abs as he kisses down the side of my neck.

"Ry." He moans as he smiles onto my lips and I kiss his beautiful lips. "Jax." I whisper back as he holds my face deepening our kiss, further and harder. I didn't even think we could get any better kissing and it just did, I feel how wet I am for him in seconds and I'm already close to orgasming just from kissing him. When he pushes his hard member against my now dripping wet arousal I realize what is happening.

Jacob.

I just cheated on Jacob. Oh my goodness. I just cheated on Jacob. I instantly pull away and push Jax off of me as I realize what I've done and tears whelp in my eyes. I just cheated on Jacob, and I'm going to be sick.

I knew this was a bad idea. I knew it was wrong. Tears fall out of my eyes as I grab my stethoscope and sprint to the door. "Fuck Ry don't go-." he tries to stop me as I run out of the room and to the ladies private restroom.

I break down on the floor when I get in and I can't stop myself from crying over and over. I'm shaking I'm so upset with my vision blurry from tears and I can't stop crying I'm so upset. I can't believe I just did this, I can't believe I wanted to. Jax and I-, we were heavily making out, so much that I wanted it to go further.

I wanted more. I wanted more with a man that I don't even know. I wanted it all, I wanted everything.

Jacob hasn't made me feel good in weeks the way Jax did in seconds. Jax kisses me the way I thought he would, with everything in him, like I'm his world. And I'm supposed to be in a relationship that's going into something more, soon.

I knew getting close to Jax was wrong and now I know why. I like him more than I thought I did, and that's awful. I'm supposed to love Jacob, I love Jacob, but Jax just threw a huge wrench into that.

Jax makes me heart beat out of my chest, palms sweat, and feelings so intense that I can't control them. "Ry open the door." I hear Jax's voice as he taps on the back of the door and I can't control my crying.

"Ry it's okay. I won't do anything. Open the door." He tells me as I stand up and open the door caving my will power. He takes one look at me face before seeing no one in the hall and coming into the bathroom with me. He picks me up with one arm and sits me on the bathroom countertop as he wraps his arms around me and hugs me. I cry into his neck as he rubs my back.

"Ry calm down. It's okay." He tells me as I continue sobbing into his neck. "I'm so sorry." I whisper as he rubs my back. "I shouldn't have kissed you when you're with someone else and that's my fault, Ry. It won't happen again." He tells me as I try to hold myself together.

"Look at me." He tells me as he pulls my face to his and wipes my tears.

"It'll stay between us. It's okay let it go, it never happened. We just talked." He whispers to me as I nod. And he just holds me calming me down for the next few minutes as I cry my eyes out into his chest.

And that's when I realize that I like Jax and I can see a future with him. I can see us doing this forever and I hate that I do.

What have I done?