All of the illusions is blurry in my vision and the waves of the sea keeps you away from me.

DWIGHT POV.

Their operation succeeded doctors finally remove all of the bullets on their body. 2 weeks had past kate where recovering but she don't even utter any words she's under a severe trauma. This is all hard for her my mom where doing her best to take care of her to bring her own self. The bright smile on my moms face where gone she's so sad seeing xenia and kate like this I keep on monitoring is she was also taking care of his self. But she just tell me that she's making herself more healthy because no one will look and takecare of her daughter. The tears slipped in her eyes whenever we talk about their condition.

But it is more tougher for me to see them like this, it is more tougher for me to absorb the truth that xenia may close her eyes forever.

I don't know where to start I just cant leave without her. But then one month had past but she's still not opening her eyes. The doctor told me that she's in comma and she might not survive since her body is so weak.

I keep on blaming myself I drown myself with so much alcohol I again lock myself in the dark room. I stop seeing my son the moment I heard the news. I don't even take a bath everyday I let my mom take care of them I cant bear to see her my chest is squeezing uncontrollably.

I don't even cut my hair for almost 2 months no one can stop me from ruining myself whenever there is someone who tries to awake me I keep on pushing them away.

Mom keeps on pleading on me to be back on my senses to at least look after them but I wasn't listening. She keeps on pleading on me ever since I drown myself in my own mystery.

I didn't listen to mom but then she broke some vases creating havoc shouting at me. Pain is clearly visible in her voice the moment I tell her to calm down and to leave she slap me hardly creating a sound. I look at her in disbelief she cried pouring all of the pain she's holding.

Dwight just please comeback instead of blaming yourself why don't you think that your wife needs you. She's fighting for her life to be with you to be with her son instead of helping her instead of looking after her taking care of her you drown yourself with this dark place. Look at you Dwight do you think that Xenia will be happy when she sees you like this.

How about jeon do you even know how he is do you even see him or you also forget that your not only a husband but a father to your son.

Your not only the one who is in pain right now I feel so tired and exhausted emotionally and physically Dwight. But I keep on fighting I keep on hoping that Xenia will wake up I succeed on kate she's showing a lot of progress. But every time she see her sister she always blame herself but I keep on telling her that she need to be tough. She even commit a suicide not wanting to see her sister with that situation but now I hope she's not doing that again. Since I told her that her sister risk herself just for her but if she kill herself all of her sister sacrifices will be throw in vain. Her sister will never be happy if she do that.

The same thing to you Dwight just please Xenia need us as long as my mom's rant finish she walk out disappearing from my view. It make sense I open the curtain in our room the light illuminating the room I look at the sky it is so peaceful. I wonder if what would be the expression of Xenia if she see the beauty of the sky. The longing in my heart accelerated to its highest phase. As I look back and try to change myself, I look at the mirror I can't recognize the man I see right now I quickly shave my face cut my hair and take a bath I look for a fresh clothes.

I go to my sons room his still asleep he looks like me but he also resembles some of her mothers features. I kiss his forehead uttering a sorry to him. There is a lot of works in the office I decided to go home and left it unfinish since tomorrow I will going to continue my work. As I enter my house my sons voice echoing in the place that brought a smile in my face I tell mom that I will be going to bring him to her mom.

She smile widely at me telling me that she will also going with us, as soon as I see my wife lying in the hospital bed a pang of pain is building in my chest mom hug her and kiss her on her cheeks she talk to her like xenia can hear her. I tried my best not to let my tears to fall I need to be strong for her. Mom bid a goodbye on her and she tell me that she will go to kate I just nod at her.

As soon as I sit beside my wife I hold her hands the only woman who make me whole but the only woman who can also break me into pieces. I smile sadly looking at her, hey my wife your son and your husband missed you so much. Jeon where growing up you need to wake up so that you can hug him we love you so much my wife. As I look at jeon he is looking at her mother and he looks like he wants to hug her so I put her beside her. The moment he was behind her he quickly hug her mother and I can't help myself I keep on ignoring the pain but it is embracing me.

After going in the hospital I bring jeon at home since its already evening, I feed him clean him, and change his clothes I read story while his laying on his bed and he fall asleep. I decided to put the new clothes that I bought on his closet his baby clothes caught my attention it fold neatly at the side drawer there is a paper above it.

I unfold the paper and read it, my dear husband Dwight timberner I didn't know what will happen next but one thing I know for sure I will do my best to save my love one even if it cost my life. When I was a kid I made a promise to protect my sister I failed to save my mom and protect her. She was killed merciless and I don't want to lost any of my love one anymore. The moment I come into your life I don't expect that I will receive love from your family. At first it is tougher for me to lived with you but I cant help myself from falling and loving you.

You successfully proved that you change and every minutes, hours of my life living with you is enough for me to savior the beauty of life. You show me what a real happiness is, you make me feel the real love. Thank you for everything Dwight for loving me and making me feel what love means. In my whole life I must say that I am happy and I already see the most precious and beautiful place in the whole world and that place is my home. You, jeon, mom , my sister , yaya minda , itachi, Charles and all of the people in timberners. Always choose to be happy freed your heart from pain, sadness and negative feelings because seeing you with a sad eyes and straight face will make me sad. Whatever your heart feel always think that it also my heart does look after jeon. Take care of him I know you will be a good father.

I am once a girl who prayed that when I become a flower in the next cycle of my life the wind blows and I spread. Maybe I can't be alive for as who I am but there is someone who's alive through me. I spread and bloom like a blossom at the hill where skies is so peaceful. But my heart will always be with you its rhythm found its peace and become its lullaby. I love you so much Dwight.

I try my best to hold back the pain that burning in my chest but it seems all unbearable hot tears fall from my eyes. Cracking its pieces from all of the pains, loneliness and sorrow that squeezing my heart. I know no one can replaced her and no one can fix me but only her.