《Is It Hate OR Love? Jodha Akbar》Chapter 9
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The sudden realization of being lost in the moment totally shook Jodha. Seeing Jalal's dark, passionate eyes, her face filled with fear, she pulled herself backward, two steps away from him, and prayed to the god Krishna to help to come out of the situation; she regretfully thought about what she had done?
Jalal got confused seeing Jodha stepping backward with an offensive face.
Before she could say anything, he pinned her to the tree, while holding both her hands tightly, stared at her with little resentment and an intense craving for more. Jodha was not able to look at him directly; her eyes were down; she was feeling too guilty for her denial. She knew it was her fault; she failed to control herself and led him to this intense desperation.
After a few moments when she was standing in the same position while looking down, he released her hands and held her face by lifting her chin roughly; he wanted to look into her eyes to read once again her denial. She slowly lifted her eyes. Uninvited tears pricked out of her eyes with a little fear and intense guilt in them. Seeing her in the denial stage, Jalal merely asked her, "Why are you testing my patience Jodha?"
Jodha stayed quiet while looking at him regretfully with remorse; she had no answer to his desperation. He felt hurt; his ego bruised awfully. With each passing second, he was losing his patience, which was slowly converting into anger. His head began to spin with refusal. He looked dreadfully ragged and extremely frustrated. His expression turns little by little dark and bleak; gradually, his tolerance diluted and converted into the horrendous fire.
At last, he groaned with his curbed anger with his final attempt, "Queen Jodha, It is so difficult to understand you; you are the one who allowed me to come so close to you, so why this rejection now?" He sounded desperate, but at the same time, his tone was threatening and deadly.
She stayed quiet as she had no answer to his question; her silence broke all of his restrained and controlled patience and created wild rage inside him. With a dangerous glare, he held her shoulders harshly with a painful grip and pushed her away from himself, and walked off.
She lost her balance and almost fall, but soon she controlled herself.
His fury was at the mountain. She was traumatized entirely to see his extreme reaction and resentment. He walked off and went near the pond, then he took some stones in anger and began to throw them in the pond. Her rejection wounded his lonely and empty soul. Soon aura of darkness surrounded him with the feeling of emptiness inside him.
Seeing him hurt and distressed, she decided to talk to him. She fearfully and cautiously went near the pond, and in a low tone, she said, "Shahenshah" she paused briefly for a response from him. Still, Jalal didn't respond, and without looking at her, he started walking away from her.
Jodha called him again in a pleading tone, "Shahenshah, please listen to me."
But he ignored her again. Jodha ran behind him and held his hand to stop him. He looked back with immense resentment and screamed, "I don't want to see your face; I have no interest in you."
Jodha was still standing while holding his hand. Finally, Jalal pushed her hand away with a jerk, and before she could say anything, he jumped on his horse and rode off towards the palace.
His fury was at the pick, she, again and again, wounding him with her denials, rejection, and bitterness. He knew he was losing control over himself; the feeling of killing everyone was capturing him. He had never felt offended like this; somewhat, he was angry at himself for controlling his desire. He always got easily and willingly, whom he desired for, many princesses left their kingdoms to stay with Jalal. All of his women were crazy for his one gaze, but there was something in Jodha, which was completely different from others. Every sentence, every word, every tear of her was affecting him intensely. Her vicious rejection was the first time in his life that he was feeling defeated. He wanted to hurt her so much, but he couldn't do that. He ran away from there to save her from his dark anger.
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Jodha also came back to the palace. She straight away went to see Jalal in his chamber. Still, his guard stopped her at the entrance; she waited for Jalal's permission to enter inside his chamber; Jalal saw her standing helpless, waiting for his approval while looking in her eyes, he denied her request to meet him. She saw a deep sting, pain, and antagonism in his eyes. Seeing his state, she decided to pursue him and make him understand why she denied it.
Jalal was utterly flapped by what was happening between him and Jodha. He had realized and knew very well now that he was losing his control over his heart; his restless mind and spirit both were broken and shattered. He canceled all of his meetings and requested Atgah Saheb to take care of his political duties for the day. He wanted to stay alone for the day.
To compensate for the damage and please him, she decided to cook his favorite dish for lunch. She made the entire meal for both of them. Maham Anga noticed that for the first time willingly, Jodha was cooking for the king, with the help of a Royal cook of the palace. It was quite surprising for her to see a sudden change in Jodha.
After preparing a delicious meal, she went to his chamber and instructed his maid to go inside and ask if Shahenshah is ready for his lunch and directed her not to mention her name.
While deeply lost in his thoughts, he remembered their first sensual kiss, a first warm hug, how he carried her in his arms, how she possessed him in her grip. Their peaceful sleep, cuddling each other, all those beautiful moments they shared were recapping in his mind over and over again, just like a beautiful dream. His anger cooled down slightly, recalling the beautiful moments.
The maid came inside and asked, "Shahenshah, Are you ready to eat lunch?" and without looking at her, he absent-mindedly replied, "Bring it in."
Jodha came inside his chamber silently with all the food and started serving the food.
Jalal was still lost in his thoughts; he was standing near the window, watching the birds flying in the sky blankly. He didn't notice Jodha's presence; suddenly, he heard her anklet's familiar sound and realized her presence; he swiftly turned back towards her. She cheerfully smiled at him while serving food.
With a gloomy tone, he shouted, "Why did you come to my chamber without my permission?"
"I don't need anyone's permission to come to my husband's chamber." She replied playfully.
Jalal got shocked with her answer and audacity; he snapped in a sarcastic tone, "Oh Really... queen Jodha, so now you realized that I am your husband?"
She grinned at him and said teasingly, "When did I deny that you are my husband?" She paused and smirked at him mischievously and then continued, "Don't you see I am fulfilling my duty; I have cooked all this food for you."
Jalal's anger was slowly melting away, seeing her cheerful impish face, "Do you know the wife's duty?" he snapped.
"Shahenshah, this is my first experience; how would I know all my duties?? But you have more than Five Hundred begums; you seem very knowledgeable in that area. Why don't you teach me all my duties?" she sounded sarcastic but mischievous.
Jalal's anger almost vanished, but he was still feeling bitter.
"I have told my chosen, closest, and preferred queen Rukaiya to explain to you, wife's duties. You are not that important; why would I waste my time on you?" He replied arrogantly.
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His words preferred, the closest queen gave deep prickle in her heart. Jodha gazed at him, exasperated, and she replied immediately in an offended tone, "You know what Shahenshah, let me call your beloved queen to feed you this food; oh, I forget that I am a worthless queen. It would be best if you spent your quality time with your special chief and favorite begum. Sorry I have wasted your precious time."
She glanced at him dryly, then with anger she got up from the chair to walk towards the door before she could walk out of his chamber, he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer by wrapping his hands on her waist and teasingly said, "Oh! My new queen is feeling jealous of my favorite queen Rukaiya!"
While looking in another direction, she replied in an irritable tone, "I am not jealous of anyone, leave me alone, and let me go. Don't waste your precious time Shahenshah." She tried to come out of his grip, but the more she tried, the more strongly he gripped onto her wrist. With frustration, Jodha looked at him and said bitterly, "Shahenshah, you can do anything with anyone; it doesn't affect me at all. You are not important in my life as well; I am happy with my Kanah."
His lips curved with an amusing smirk; seeing her jealous and frustrated, he pulled her a little closer towards him and whispered in her ear, "So why did you cook food for me, queen Jodha? I think you do care about me, and you like me as well. Your word doesn't reach your eyes. I can see the deep longing for me in your eyes. I noticed as soon as you see me, your pale face sparkle with the glow. "
Jodha repeatedly tried to release her wrist from him and getting more and more frustrated, thinking of how he could read her eyes. With fake masking anger, Jodha loudly pouted and irritably said, "Shahenshah, leave my hand." He grinned savagely and gripped on her more powerful. Finally, Jodha shouted crossly, "Let me go, Shahenshah, you are hurting me," and unwanted two tears pierced out of her eyes; she even didn't know what was bothering her, his sharp words or his harsh behavior.
Seeing her in tears, Jalal immediately released her hand, and Jodha started to walk out of the chamber without saying anything.
Jalal softly requested, "Queen Jodha, Please come back."
His polite pleading tone stopped her; she turned toward him; Jalal asked in a sincere voice, "Queen Jodha, I thought, you wanted to discuss something and what about food, won't you like to have lunch with me?"
With moist eyes, she responded sadly, "I don't want to eat and not in the mood to discuss anything anymore."
Jalal grinned, seeing her cute cranky face. "That's fine with me, but if you don't serve me, then I will have to call my special..." He teased her playfully before he finishes; she came back and replied frustratingly, "I know my duty Shanhenshah." Jalal was getting pleasure seeing her jealousy.
He grabbed her hand and brought her to the lunch table. His eyes caught her bruised wrist. "Guards." He yelled.
Guard came running inside, "Bring malam (medicine) for bruise." He pulled her bangles a little up and began to caress her wrist. Jodha stunned, seeing his sudden worry for her minor bruise. "Queen Jodha, I don't know why, but you always successfully awake monster in me. Remember, I cannot control my temper." He nagged.
Jodha smirked, seeing his worried expression. Her eyes danced with humor. She replied impishly, "Shahenshah, Don't forget that I am a Rajvanshi queen. Not delicate like your other queens, who screams for a small wound; and also remember that I know how to fight with you and your monster."
"You know, Queen Jodha, one day your sharp tongue will put you in big trouble." He crossly replied in a stern tone.
"Oh... Are you threatening Rajvanshi queen?" Jodha cynically asked.
"No, I am warning my Mughal queen," he calmly replied.
The guard gave the medicine bowl and left. Jodha took away her wrist from him and said, "Don't worry, Shahenshah, I will put medicine later, and food will get cold."
Jalal swiftly pulled her hand and said, "Queen Jodha, I have given you this bruise so that I will put medicine on it too.
Jodha pulled her hand again and replied, "It's a minor bruise, and this medicine gives sting. I don't want to put this medicine."
"Oh, So my Rajvanshi queen is scared of medicine." he humorously asked.
Jodha pouted and, with a cranky face, "I am not scared of anything, but I don't want to put this medicine."
"Queen Jodha, trust me, it will sting for a second only." To distract her mind from medicine, he questioned, "You don't feel lonely in Agra?"
"In that case, we both are in the same boat, Shahenshah," Jodha replied instantly.
Jalal, with alarm, stopped and looked into her eyes to understand what she said. He dryly asked, "What you mean? I have thousands of people for me in the palace and my harem. Why do you think that we are in the same situation?."
"Shahenshah, you are right about our different situations. You have thousands, but I can see in your eyes loneliness from the first time we met, and I left my life, my heart, my soul, my loved one in Amer. I have no one in Agra, so preciously, we both are lonely." Jodha replied candidly.
Jalal gazed at her with dark sorrow and responded gloomily, "You know King always has to walk alone." then he grabbed her hand tenderly and rubbed medicine on her wrist, then gently blows on it.
Jodha gazed at his charismatic dominating eyes without a blink. She couldn't defy his controlling but caring act.
"Stop staring at me, queen Jodha." He teasingly looked up; his mischievous gaze wakes her from his mesmerizing spell. She pulled her wrist from him and started to blow on it.
He got up from the couch and said, "Let's see what my new queen has cooked for me."
He noticed two plates served, one with vegetarian food and the other one with non-veg. He purposely took a sit by the vegetarian dish.
Jodha stopped him and said, "Shahenshah, this plate is not for you; it is for me."
"But you just said you don't want to eat anything." He jested.
Jodha felt awkward.
"QueenJodha, you have cooked for me with your wish for the first time, so I would like both of us to eat from the same plate." With a smile, he invited her to sit next to him.
Jodha blushed and nodded her face in agreement. Jalal took the first bite of Roti and vegetable gravy, and as soon as he ate, he said, "Subhan Allah, food is delicious and tasty just like you."
It took her a few moments to comprehend his comment; suddenly realizing what he was talking about, her entire face turned pink. She couldn't lift her eyes to see him and thought. How can he comment like this so smoothly impassively and make me blush deeply?
Jalal took another piece of Roti and vegetable curry and lovingly forwarded his hand to feed her. She shyly ate. Both of them ate lunch in deep silence while stealing their gaze at each other.
She was still feeling awkwardly shy, eating with him under his penetrating gaze; she couldn't lift her eyes. He lifted her chin with his fingers and sensually said, breaking their romantic silence, "Queen Jodha, your eyes are so beautiful and innocent; please don't hide them from me."
Jodha lifted her eyes slowly and saw his mild grin on his face. His constant gaze made her very uncomfortable.
"Shahenshah, why are you staring at me and smiling?" she asked timidly in a faint tone.
He continued staring at her; his mouth set in an amusing smirk again, and his eyes had secretive humor.
"Shahenshah, don't look at me like this; you are making me uncomfortable." She grumpily said
Jalal was still smiling mysteriously and staring at her, which annoyed her.
"Why are you staring at me?" She asked him in a little louder tone, irritably
With a deep sensual grin, Jalal replied, "Queen Jodha, I can't take my eyes off of you, your cheeks turn all pink and your lips..." he stopped purposely...
"What happened to my lips?" Jodha warily asked
Jalal silently mocked at her and said, "Jodha begum, I advise you better stay in your chamber for the next few hours after lunch."
Jodha looked at him with annoyance and innocently asked, "Shahenshah, you are too confusing; why should I stay in my chamber?"
"Do you really want to know?" Jalal laughed out loud
Jodha, with irritation, "Seriously, Shahenshah, I think you have some problem, I have asked ten times, and you are still asking me, do I want to know? Yes, of course, I want to know."
Jalal laughed at her innocence and asked her, "Are you done with lunch?"
She nodded her head in Yes.
Jalal got up from his chair, wiped his hands, took hold of her hand, and took her to the mirror. He made Jodha stand in the front, and he stood behind her; both were looking in the mirror before she could realize he whispered in her ear, "Jodha, our first kiss has made your lips more rosy and desirable."
Jodha's eyes caught at her little swollen lips and his passionate gaze through the mirror. She covered her face with both her hands. Jalal encircled his hands on her belly, hugging her from the back.
Instantly his cuddle and sensual whisper send shivers; she craved to turn back and hug him, "Shahenshah, please let me go."
Jalal muttered in her ears, "Jodha, I will never forget our beautiful morning together. You are deliciously sweet and charming. You have no idea how I am repressing not to kiss your rosy lips." he turned her towards him and softly took her hands off of her face and said, "Jodha, don't hide your face from me."
She again felt the same magnetic attraction towards him. She realized his spell again began to work on her before it's too late. She decided to back off; she moved a few steps backward from him and said, "Shahenshah, let me go, please."
Jalal, disappointedly, asked, "Why Jodha? We are a married couple, then why are you running away from me and making me crazily mad??"
Jodha realized she needed to give him an explanation; otherwise, again, he will feel his ego crushed. In a very controlled and calm voice, she replied, "Shahenshah, first of all, I would like to apologize to you for this morning; it was my fault, I don't know how I went so far today, but I need some more time. I had never seen any trouble in my life before I met you. I had no idea that life can be cruel and interesting. There are so many ups and downs I have seen and experienced in the last few months. Some days you have terrified me, some days you have threatened me, some days you have wounded me, some days you have insulted me in front of many people. You have punished, my Amer so that you can take revenge on me; you forced me to marry you, and your purpose of marriage was to take revenge on me. You have tried to smear me in front of the court. You have touched me without my wish. In the small number of days, you have done so much to break my ego, my dignity, and my self-esteem, and at some level, you got successes." Jalal was too shocked. It took him a while to comprehend.
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