"Was there a smile on your face when I called you crying, begging you to stay. Or was it guilt and pain that smeared your handsome mouth. Were you satisfied knowing you broke the unbreakable girl? Did it stroke your ego to know you had that much power over someone? Or did it sicken you to the core. I guess there's no way of knowing because as it turns out I never really knew you at all."

-Excerpt from a book I never will write #851

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"I love you."

"Are you seriously watching the vampire diaries all over again Shae?" Sam asks walking into the room and bothering my show.

I pause it and give her a dumbfound look, "no I'm watching teen wolf," I sarcastically say.

She rolls her eyes, "I'm going on a date," I look her up at down, she's wearing a blue floral dress with a black background and black heels. Her hair is in a braided bun and her makeup is natural, she looks beautiful.

"You're looking good," I comment, she grins and looks down at herself.

"You think so?" She bites her lip, I nod.

"Marcus will drool," I wink, Sam chuckles lightly.

"Thanks Shae," Samantha grins.

I wave her off, the door bell rings and she bounces on her toes in excitement. It's not like it's her first date....is it?

"Don't wait up for me," she yells grabbing her phone and handbag, she waves goodbye.

"Trust me, I won't," I shout.

She laughs and opens the front door, well I can hear her open it.

I'll just sit here... and watch the vampire diaries. Not that I'm complaining!

I've thought about what Amy asked. 'Would you want to be a vampire' something on the lines of that, I can't remember the whole sentence because I'm not good at remembering those sort of things.

But I still really don't know, I guess it has its perks and it's negatives. I don't want to drink human blood! That's a negative.

I guess you'd never die, and you would heal quickly. You would only die if you got a wooden steak through the heart, but can they have kids?

I want kids.

Sighing I pick up my phone from the couch and call Amy, "ello!" She immediately says, trying to sound British.

"Hey wanna come over?" I laugh.

"Of course- ED THEY GO OVER THERE! NO. NO. NO. TO YOUR LEFT!" She shouts at Edvard and I grin, "sorry about that, yeah I'd love to. Be there soon," she hangs up.

My phone beeps with a message.

Amy barges through the room. I didn't hear her come in. She's holding many snacks and drinks, I grin.

"Oh this will be great," she nods in agreement and throws the food on the coffee table that is in front of the couch.

"Movie night, eating, gossiping, everything is perfect," she winks.

I look down at my phone noticing a new message, it's from Tyler yet again. My heart skips a beat and I smile.

I ignore him after that, "lover boy?" Amy wags her eyebrows up and down and I laugh.

"You could say that..." I trail off.

"Really?" She drawls staring at me with curiosity. "Do you love him?" I choke on the lemonade I was sculling.

"I-I... um-" she cuts me off.

"I'm sorry, forget what I said," she shoves popcorn in her mouth and stares at the television.

"I don't know," I answer, she looks at me in the corner of her eye.

"Do you want to be a vampire?" I shrug twiddling with my fingers.

"I want to be alive, not dead. No offence," she waves me off.

"None taken!"

"But then again, I could be fearless. Like you, Eddie, Ed, Ty and Marcus," she softly smiles and shakes her head.

"Just because we are vampires doesn't mean that we are fearless Shae, we fear a lot of things," I look at Amy.

"Like?" I softly whisper.

"Well we get attached to humans some times, but we don't want to change them because being a vampire is a blessing and a curse and they never find out about us. Being human means living your life by the motto you only live once, growing old, finding love and dying. But being a vampire is so much more, but then again we all wish that we were still human some times. We loose every mortal we care about, we are at war, we can get hunted, there is so much things to be afraid of Shae."

"I-I didn't know," I honestly say.

"I would love to wake up one day and not have the cravings for blood. I'm a killing machine, well it can be controlled but I just hate it. I can hear your heart pumping blood through you veins and I hate the fact that sometimes I want to rip your throat out, I want to be normal!" She looks up at the ceiling.

She shouldn't have really told me that she wants to rip my throat out sometimes but I know she won't hurt me.

"How did you become a vampire?" I ask.

"I was found dying on the streets, this man shot me.... when I turned... I-I killed him, mercifully," her jaw clenches.

"Okay..." I trail off awkwardly not knowing what to say.

"Anyway, it's your decision. Plus, Tyler probably won't turn you unless you're dying," she shrugs.

Gee, that's comforting.

"But then again, he couldn't bear the thought of loosing you. He Lo- likes you... a lot."

I smile, "I like him a lot too."

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Keely