𐌕𐌵𐌌𐌌𐌙

𐌕𐌵𐌌𐌌𐌙

.

There was a day I remember vividly, a day that was not like any other. A calm, quiet, exclusive day. There was no Vegas, no wonder. He didn't exist on this day, and I couldn't have been happier. A day, where I could study and anatomize all of mother natures birthings by myself. A day, I watched the sun peel over a yellowed corn field, like a rainbow. It had a perfect color filled curve, and everything. A day, where I ran and ran throughout that corn maze, with not a worry in the world. Breathes on breathes, winds on winds, birds on birds, and clouds married on top of one another. I was in my own very heaven, uninterrupted. I spun and spun, twirled and twirled in that corn field, all alone. Allowing the earth to shake and pound in me, allowing the grounds to soil and mix me. I was so happy, for the first time in such a long time...I was actually, actually, truly, blissfully, incredibly, earth shakily, happy. I could cry, and I did. I imagined the sun crying along with me too, for it was my soulmate and it did.

Piercing my skull back to the skies that reign onto earth, listening for the clouds that swiftly moved up there. Seeing, and watching the little cloud figures dancing, sculpting one another, they were art.

I didn't know were that overbearing freedom controlled my mind and body came from. It was so sudden. I thought on it for while, but there was no conclusion. I guess sometimes our bodies just need a break from other people, to feel and accept other things, for once. For once, was all I got. But, I wanted more than 'once', because once wasn't enough, and it wasn't fair. Why? 'Once', was all I was given every single day of my life. No wonder, I was so truly happy that day.

I didn't even tell Vegas I left the kingdom that day, he didn't have to know. I didn't want him to lose his mind. I didn't want to hurt him. But, he knew, and I knew he knew...and I still left. My mind was rotten and corrupt inside of that palace, for god knows how long. I asked and asked, day after day, for some air, to breathe, and I was never allowed to. I was never allowed to even breathe. I constantly heard the religious sermons everyday, leaving his lips of the one I call my love. "You can't leave here, it's dangerous." Everyday.

It wasn't dangerous, it never was. The only reason he said it would be dangerous for me, was because it was truly going to be dangerous for him. Because, he knows, he knew that the second I was given the permission to step out of that gold palace door...I would never return. And, Vegas was painfully right, he knew. All along.

But, he also knew I was dying inside,

and accepted that.

So, I left earlier that morning with nothing, no food, no clothes, no footwear. I just wanted to leave, leave with my body. I didn't tell anyone. No one deserved a reason, because everyone already knew. And, they stood by watching me die, being ate alive, every single dreadful day. They knew. So, before the rooster could have even sang, and release its throat. I was already gone with the moon, and dust. Climbed over walls, hid under animal sewage, disguised my being. And, I left the palace in one piece. I remember walking down those empty roads, looking down at my feet the whole time, they were soaked recklessly, with nothing but human tears. That came from me. I didn't even know I could cry that much, but I did. And, I was darn happy.

For two months, after successfully escaping the palace, I lived in a village far, far away that had many, many cornfields surrounding it. Lakes, ponds, wetlands, cows, pigs, horses too. It was pure beauty, it was all mines, but then one day it all came pouring down. A familiar face shown itself...Macau. Standing right in the middle of my beautiful cornfield, with Vegas Theerapanyakul right by his side. The sun had the audacity of shining brighter that damned day, torturing me, even the sun was scared.

-

"say it." His teeth were clenched together tightly, he was holding back his strength from causing me dismay, I could feel it, hear it.

"say it now, before I naked you right infron-." I could feel him secretly tug on my hair, fiercely. While smiling at people that passed by, so ugly was he.

"y-yes f-father." A tear fell from my eyes instantly, I couldn't bear them any longer.

He didn't say anything after that, he just nodded. Satisfied was he.

"Sir." a voice in the smokey blurred distant called.

sir?

"Sir, Mr. Benjamin is waiting for your greeting." A short, bony, bald boy quickly approached our front. He had bunny gapped teeth, and thick eyebrows that complemented his face. He in whole was confusing. But, he looked so young and vibrant, full of light and life. I wondered about him, about his life...who he truly was underneath that sole smile-

Vegas clears his throat rather loudly, eyeing the boy with a unpleasant stare.

"I'm feeling very disappointed right now." I knew immediately what the problem was, the boy didn't welcome him with a 'hello' first, apparently to Vegas manners mattered more than anything.

"Sir?" god. This poor boy was going to be annihilated in front of every living soul in this room. I couldn't let that happen.

"H-hey, I remember you.." The boy looks at me with shunned confusion. "You greeted me, when I first entered, yes, and you asked for Mr.Vegas, because you saw me with him, of course, and I told you I would remind you when he came in.." I really prayed and hope this poor boy caught on.

"..Oh! Yes!" Thank god, he caught on.

"Yes. It's truly my fault, when he first came in I should of immediately alerted you and Mr. Vegas." I reply with a faint smile.

"I'm sorry." I say whilst trying to bow, Vegas immediately stops me, by releasing his hand from around my abused waist to my stomach. The back of his hand hit my stomach so fast, I almost stumbled over.

"Don't." Vegas whispers sternly. I look over embarrassed, to see the poor boy eyeing me in concern. Silence cleared the space between the three of us. Staring deeply at the boy, I could see him mutely mouthing the question "are you okay?", I nod softly, not trying to be obvious.

Vegas clears his throat once more, now staring down at the boy daringly , "Hey." He snaps his fingers. "Look up at me boy." He directs the boys eyes to his.

"Yes, sir."

"..is what this man is saying the truth?" Vegas points at me openly. Eyeing me and the boy, back to forth suspiciously.

The boy hesitates for a short while, causing me immense panic, I wanted to look at him, tell him everything was going to be okay, but I didn't want Vegas to suspect anything, so I kept my eyes to the ground. Protecting both of us... "yes, he's telling the truth." ...oh. Thank you.

"Alright." I could still feel Vegas hasty eyes scanning the both of us, but I was too relieved to care, I crack a smile to the boy. He smiles back.

"Now, let's do this whole process over. Never ever approach me without greeting me first. If you ever dare to do such atrocities again, I will kill you." My body turned ice cold, why would he say such a thing? My god. Something wasn't right with Vegas this night, yes he isn't always the best, but tonight he's the worst. Terrible, my body is shaking and he wasn't even directing that sentence towards me.

"Yes, sir Vegas please forgive me, it won't ever, ever happen again, I swear." The poor boy was sweating profusely, now on the brink of tears.

"...I don't believe you, get on your knees and make me believe you."

"Yes, sir Vegas!" And, like that in less than a second the boy was already on the glass floor, bowing for what felt like hours, repeatedly saying, "I'm sorry." pleading for forgiveness.

"Okay. Enough get up!" The boy rises up. Vegas reaches out his hand, patting the boy on his shoulders with a grin.

"Now, report to me.."

"S-sir V-vega-."

"Stop." Vegas raises a hand in the air, stopping the poor boys mouth. "I can't understand anything that's coming out of your mouth, slow down or I will slap you."

"Yes!"

"Continue."

"Sir Vegas, Mr. Benjamin is waiting for your greetings."

What was this insanity? Nothing seemed to make sense, at all. Who was Mr. Benjamin, and why did that boy call Vegas, sir?

"Great, I've been meaning to greet him for a while...lead the way." He said to the poor boy, gesturing his hands to lead him to Mr. Benjamin. His eyes were electrified with immense poison, killing whoever and whatever that has looked into them.

I was now invisible, Vegas has left my side swiftly, swiping his hands away from my lower waist, carrying with him a potent perfumed scent, that burned my nose. I didn't mind him leaving, I could now breath, praying on this invisibility that was given to me like a gift, just now. Or, so I thought. Breathing...

Then suddenly like a nightmare, Vegas Theerapanyakul has stopped in his perfumed steps. Shaking, trembling the root of the ground. I thought the glass that pertained the floor underneath us would scatter, I gasps. Turning, cranking his neck to look at me, Pete. Swallowing me whole with his growing demeanor, when I saw those eyes, livid, I almost shit on myself. They scared the living out of my body, so effortlessly. They drowned, and pushed me farther head into my sorrow, wept. I didn't know what he was doing to my mind, but it was causing me a great state of panic. My insides felt like they were levitating in a cold asylum, my heart, frozen into a million sharp diamonds, my throat ripped out and eaten. I was lucid.

Like a roll of a carpet came his hands, towards me. Guiding me, capturing me, once again. "Come." I hesitated still haven't processed what he has said, my brain was ambushed with war. "Come." This time his eyes grew bigger along with his voice. And, his head shot out towards me, peeling me one by one, slanting his neck side to side, imitating the rhythm of the violin that stroked. Slowly closing his eyes...feeling every string that was being played like a hum, redirecting himself by swaying in the wind with open arms, twirling and swirling, quite lividly. Then a dramatic fuse took over the scene, men and women from ever corner of that room, gathered us like an arena. Watching and depicting the dancing man with wine glasses and cigars playing in their hands, and mouths. They were intrigued, deeply, insanely mesmerized by this foolish man, I believe they had a false worship of this man pinned into their souls, he was their appetizer.

Being caught in the very middle of this arena with a lunatic that was seen as god sickened me, the continual flashes of teeth and greasy hair rewinding in my synopsis was appalling, and never ending. Every where I turned in that circle was like a maze of faces filled with laughter and delight, no one drowned like I did. Pierrot, they all were. Smokes and fumes filled that circle of hell, puff puff, cough cough all in my face, the green tint the room washed in started to fade like my consciousness to a bright orange, recycling the evergreen. My vision was starting to decay along with my feet, I could not stand any longer, I could not breath any less, my head was seize of all oxygen. Call me lifeless, because I swore I was. The yelling laughter and the palms smashing against together rode that circle of death, but the meek violin polished it together perfectly. That violin screamed, and screamed, and screamed, until it silenced out all the other distractions. My head was rotating like the earth, moving like the sea, tickling like a bomb.

The visages of these humans rotating, morphed into alien-like species. I could no longer tell what was real or not. I wanted to be saved from this illusion, I wanted to be pulled from out this arena, alive. But, as I looked over to Vegas that was still twirling and swirling, shaking the ground in his own orb, I knew there was no hope for any of that. Although all the other faces looked morphed and disfigured, Vegas's was still the same. It remained just like how I knew it. So I called upon his name, the only name I knew in this pitiful hell..."Vegas!" Screaming that unclean name over and over again. "Vegas!" Reaching, stretching my stale arms forwardly trying to reach to him, close to him, for him to save me..all of me. "Vega..." Blurred.

There came a sizzling sound of a new vibration inside my eardrums, it rang, ring not only did it ring but it pinched my brain, pulling my skull. Ring. Not, only that but the feeling in my feet were gone, vanished, aborted. And, the orange hue in the room faded angrily to pink, a soft lotus pink. I visioned the pond, oh how it felt like I was there again by this nostalgic pink. My eyes were still fighting for its stability, so was my head, but the fight wasn't enough and they both spilt snap... and before they could completely divide, there was snap of a finger, following a instant silence, and a voice in the abyss, that was so so incredibly familiar-

-

"Give him some room! Move, Move!"

I was awaken to a familiar voice, screaming over and over again, with flying hands in the air. It was Vegas. That didn't surprise me, but what did were the millions of big heads crowding over me, analyzing me.

"God, this boy is beautiful."

"Yes, I agree."

"Are you sure it's a boy? It could be a woman.. I mean look at the skin."

There were praises spoken above my head directed to me, over and over again. Although I couldn't process most of them, I could hear the ones that made me feel shy. But, this overbearing heat of sweaty and anxious bodies piling over me made me itch, not wanting to hear anymore. I wanted space. And, even for an unconscious body I sadly didn't get that. I could still hear Vegas in the distance telling everyone to give me space. "If I have to repeat myself again, there will be a big problem. I say MOVE." The pouring heads over my body started to vanish like birds at sunset, I loved it. They were all gone.

And, all I had looking over me this time, was a light and a familiar face, Vegas Theerapanyakul. His face presented itself like an angel castrated by a demon, man was he one confusing creature. "It's okay." He spoke. I wish he hadn't. He grabbed my hands, with no permission at all, lifting me up to the once again green tinted room. I was filled with questions and concerns, Vegas was the one that would have to answer them. But, before I could open my mouth to speak, a towel was stuffed in my nose aggressively by the devil himself, Vegas.

"You were punched." Vegas speaks nonchalantly with his hands now resting in his pockets.

"Now, I want you to meet a very special person."

A bald white men presents himself to my front, with his hands rested behind his back, short, big tummy. He looked old, maybe in his 60's. When I looked at his mouth, he had a funny little curly mustache that almost extended to his ears, gray. He was dressed in tight rich floral clothing, with a weird fluffy thing at his neck. That, that caught my attention, I wanted to pull it..maybe even put it in my hair. And, his shoes ha, they were ridiculous, all sharp and pointy ready to stab someone..hopefully not me.

"This is Mr. Benjamin." Vegas speaks confidently, with a unimpressed smile on his face. Staring down me down coldly, waiting for me to give the most perfect greeting in the world. This amateur.

The said man, Benjamin, slips one of his hands from behind his back reaching delicately for mines. The man holding my hands gracefully, almost like he was thankful to have me in his grasp.

"Nice to meet you sir, your name?" Benjamin asks me, waiting patiently for me to answer.

Sir? Why did this man call me sir? I look at Vegas, with a help me look.

"Sir Vegas, told me you work together as partners."

Partners?!? Partners, how? Not only was Vegas a lunatic, but he was a great liar. How could he lie, did he have to lie? It didn't make any sense, he was the king..how could he have a partner? I mean everyone here knew he was the king, right? I give a querying look to Vegas, but he just smirks at the situation I was put in, not bothered at all. I knew what I had to do.

"Partners...well yes, my name is..Frank." I knew Americans had and used names like that, so why couldn't I. And, the once silence room was hastily interrupted by Vegas's absurd loud snort. The heads in this green room quickly turns to Vegas, eyeing him down. He had no shame at all, he snorts again openly.

"Please, please continue..that was a sneeze, you see it's allergy season here in Thailand." He shrugs, clasping his hands together laying them underneath his chin, lighting the room up with a big smile. The oblivious crowd laughs all together. Vegas was good at deceiving. He laughs too. I was the only breathing person in that room, stained with a serious face like no other, eyeing down that predator. Vegas-

"Frank? Wow my brothers name is Frank, he lives overseas too...nice to meet you."

"..nice to meet you too." I say with a fake smile gleaming off my cheeks.

"...So, Mr. Vegas we are a little bit behind on time, I know you know this." Mr. Benjamin, exclaims.

"Yes, I know this very, very well..but, I mean is it my fault?" He begins walking closer to me and Mr. Benjamin with that fake smile, and those hands resting back in his pockets. Narcissism was snowing in his face.

"I was dancing, people wanted to see me dance, and so I did, and they loved it." Closer and closer he walked.

"Then there was a horrible incident, you witnessed it." He takes one of his hands from out of his pocket, pointing them towards me. "That right there, look at it." Mr. Benjamin without any hesitation, obediently looks at me up and down, as I looked at him looking at me, I paid attention to his face which appeared gray, he was afraid, but swallowed down his fear with daunt.

"That is the incident."

"Yes, yes it is." I gulp.

"Okay, I'm happy we can agree on that." Vegas chuckles, and Benjamin chuckles after him.

"So, let's get to business."

"Let's get to business." Vegas pats Benjamin on his shoulder with a wide spread smile, turning all his attention towards me.